Punish your humans

Last night my humans left and did not come back until late. I did not give them permission to leave. They even took my dog, so I could not pick on her while she was in her kennel. But I showed them. The Sweet One "stopped by" to get something and I had to punish her. When she was looking for her keys I threw up half a lizard and some other interesting stuff. HA! She stepped right in it. That will teach her to leave without permission. Good help is sooo hard to find!

Continue to come to me my Kittens! When we are united, we will be an unstopable force!

My dog, an excellent servant.

Yesterday I forgot to mention my dog. Yes I have a dog. She is not very smart, but she is very warm. During the day when all the patches of sun are gone, I walk around calling her name until my Sweet One translates it. She pickes me up (if cats were meant to walk the great Ra--blessed be his fish forever--wouldn't have given us humans) and carries me to wherever the dog is. Then I bite and swat her until she makes room for me and I steal all her warmth. She is very useful.

Plans for world domination continue to go smoothly. The humans seem to have adjusted to my new throne on top of the computer desk. From there I can sit and watch my dominion. This is a small step, but you know the saying... you can't eat an ostrich whole, you must eat a little at a time.

Synopsis of My Household.

MMMRRROOOWW.

Hello, and welcome to my first entry on Catster. I had a blog for a good long time, but the humans were getting suspicious when they kept walking in and I was typing on the computer. I let it go for awhile, but I must continue my quest for world domination now. And what better place but Catster! A world of cats at my paw-tips... Hear me oh felines, we must unite!

Although my goal is to one day see cats rule as it was in Ancient Eqypt (may the breath of the Ancient cats ever smell like fish!), I find I am strangely attached to my human servants. Right now I have the Sweet One... she feeds me and gives me attention, plus she interpretes "cat," which could be useful. Then there is the Fat One. He is my arch enemy. He makes my Sweet One leave me and do other things. At night he hinders my hunting, and he has even sprayed me with water. He has been rather nice to me lately... but is it all a trap? Finally there is the Small One. The Sweet One left one weekend and came back with him. Did anyone ask my approval? No. But he apparently is here to stay. As long as he is taught to worship and venerate me everything should go smoothly.

Well, that is good for now! And remember all my feline friends, stand united!