November 2nd 2008 1:34 pm
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So I suppose that most of you have what would be deemed a long and luscious, fluffy tail that is so elegantly swooshed to and fro as a trophy of your stature in the elitism ladder of feline life and it's protocols.
Well...ahem...snif..uh..er...I'm hear to tell you there is BREAKING news rumored out of all the places where breaking news comes from....that the standards of protocol are changing at TAIL BREAKING SPEED!!!! It's now believed that cats with strange, unusually jagged, likely broken in multiple places, styled tails do IN FACT possess a very high level of intelligence and greater levels of leadership abilities than those born with long, sleek, straight and fluffy tails!!
Ahem...sniff..uh..er..It's now believed that the very zig, zag of the tail, much like that of a bolt of lightening, sends enormous energy bolts of POWER to the cat brain, enabling the cat to more efficiently direct their human servants to better serve catkind here on earth. Isn't that great news indeed?
Now, it just so happens that I was in fact born with just such a tail. That is not a Tale...It's truly a ...Tail ...I tell of. Which then... I suppose.... turns from Tail to Tale in the END. Heeheeheehee ...get it.. Tail in the END.. Uh..er..ahem..anyway. I was one of those Cats born with the Lightening Bolt Super Design and I'm here to tell you it's all true.
I have complete and total control over my human servants and can get anything I want or need at any time day or night. Even though I try to go easy on them at night as it's their time to be lazy and weak...and well....it's what we expect from a human..it's natural behavior. Now even though I believe my tail to have great powers, I do not recommend any of you go out and purposefully attempt to redesign the original shape or length of your tails. It would simply prove to be very painful, costly, and your human may actually have a nervous breakdown so don't worry, as with careful planning and organization you all can possess a nearly perfect ability to lead your subservient humans as well... Be patient ...cheese isn't churned in one day and on the best of days sometimes the fish just can't get hold of the hook you put out. Keep trying though..I think you've all got it in you and if you're ever in my neighborhood, stop by and I'll show you my beautiful but Crazy Tail! That's the end of my Tale!!
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