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A Somali's Quest for the Little Red Dot

I've been tagged!

My good friend, Kaya Skye, has tagged me, and now I must list seven random facts about my self and ask seven others to do the same when I'm done. Ok here goes:
1. I frequently run into walls- Yup, it's true; I'm not paying attention or I lose control around those tight corners, but I've run head-first into things.
2. Ashley has got back several graded papers from English with super-weird typos. The cause? Me, of course. I help her type her essays and she gets points off, which is why I am put in my kennel or another room while she types!
3. I know how to get into my own food. I open up the cabinet, pull out a pack, and rip it open with my teeth!
4. I like to wear clothes- You know, like those dog sweaters. I now realize most cats would hate that.
5.I am leash trained- Well, actually, that's not entirely true. Ashley puts on the harness and leash, we walk outside, I decide I'm too good for my paws to touch the ground, run up her body like a tree, and she carries me around the neighborhood.
6. I love to eat hoomin food- especially potato and brocolli soup!
7. I have this strange obsession with lions; I have two stuffed ones-an old Lion King one, from when the movie first came out. I call him Mufasa and I like to wrestle around and bite him. But the other one, Simba is like my kitten. I carry him around by the scruff of the neck and bathe him. I actually sleep with him, too!

By God, is that ranch on the ceiling?

Why, yes, it very well may be!
*This entry has been composed by Schroeder's hoomin, Ashley*

Please, someone, remind me to suppress my mischievous urges from here on in. I was sitting in my chair, eating celery sticks with ranch dip (don't ask). I noticed Schroeder sleeping in a nearby chair, so I put the bowls of celery and ranch on the table beside the chair that Schroeder was in. I snuck quietly to him, jumped up and down loudly, and yelled.
As expected, Schroeder jumped about three feet, straight into the air.
What I hadn't anticipated, was Schroeder landing on the table. In the ranch. Of course.
Ranch splashed. EVERYWHERE!
So, I just cleaned it up. And,now, here I sit, typing this entry at the computer desk. I turn around to see what Schroeder is doing. He's sitting in the middle of the floor licking the "guilty paw", the one that landed in the ranch first.
He stops and looks up at me. And smiles. I swear to you, that cat freaking SMILED! As if to spite me, or something!
Un-be-leivable.
Again, please, someone remind me to suppress my mischievous urges from here on in. And you should all be wise enough to do the same.

Well, now we know!

So, I was chasing the red light again today and he was being particularly illusive. I looked up at Ashley so maybe she would help me catch it, and you would not believe what I saw: Ashley was holding that little gray piece of chalk again; and there was a little red beam coming out of it! I couldn't beieve it; I was completely disgusted with her. Just to spite her, I went to the kitchen and pigged out, then followed that up with a long nap on Ashley's lap. That'll show her!