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A Day In The Life Of An Uncommon Cat

Murph Gets Flamed

Dear Diary:

Today, I got flamed!! My human mother has an itty bitty antique end table where she keeps a lamp, (which I sun myself under), a coaster for her drink and this strange thing in a glass that smells like perfume. I'm constantly trying to weave my way around all of these things on the teeny table and my human mother always yells at me, telling me, GET DOWN, hahahah, I never do. I just whine and complain and bat at her with my paw, (claws withdrawn, of course) Earlier today, she took a book of matches out and lit fire to the perfummy smelling thingy in the glass, it looked really interesting to me. Later I wound my way around the coaster, the lamp and turned my back to the thingy that my human mother had lit... never, ever, turn your back on this thingy on the table!!! All of a sudden, my butt was on fire, I scrambled off the teeny table, down to the floor and licked my smoking butt...my human mother rushed over to me, brushed at my butt, saw that it was just my fur that had gotten scorched and then she started to chuckle...I was beyond insulted, I was very angry and decided not to speak to her for the remainder of the evening.

Being a Bad Kitty

Dear Diary:

Well, mom and dad put up the Christmas tree... OUTSIDE, so I couldn't tear it up, what kind of a gift was that? Well, it's the new year and my resolution was to try to be a "good kitty", not working! Yesterday mom came home and ignored me, I quickly sought out my big brother Jones, scratched his eye and bit his neck, mom put me in the bathroom for a "time-out" for almost 15 minutes, can you believe it? After I got out of the "time-out" room, I quickly clawed the carpet, climbed on the dining room table, took discarded ice cubes out of the kitchen sink, threw up on the carpet and dismembered a stuffed toy. My work here is done...for today!

Dear Diary, December 11, 2004

Dear Diary,

Today, I beat up my brothers, tried to eat a twistie tie, refused to eat filet mignon and attempted to find the straws that Mom has hidden somewhere. Dad let me sleep on his lap for about 6 hours then left to go to the store, I'm forced to sleep on Mom's lap and warm my paws under her laptop while she types my days activities.

Well...time for a nap...until tomorrow.