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Stories of a Moody Boy

The brushing

It is summer time, and it is quite hot where I live. I've been working on shedding my winter coat, but I just have SO MUCH FUR, that I need a little help sometimes. Usually, I like to do everything with the smoky man. But, while he is good at picking me up and letting me snuggle by him and feeding me my breakfast and dinner and treats, he does not help me out with my other kitty activities - like the litter box or my fur problems.

So, I have discovered that my subsitute mom likes to brush me! At first I wasn't sure about all of this because I saw her brushing the squeaky cat, and the squeaky cat just bites the brush. I figured that the brush must not be very nice, and so I squirmed and wiggled everytime the brush got near me. Since I normally do not let my subsitute mom hold me anyway, I guess she figured this was normal. I am a very picky boy.

But one day, I had groomed and groomed and groomed myself so much that I was tired. I wanted to just lie down on my porch and rest, but there was so much more fur to get out! Then, my substitute mom came outside to sit with me, and she brought the brush. I decided to let her try it, because I was too tired and hot to wiggle and squirm. Guess what? I LOVE the brushing! Now, every day or so, she comes outside with me and I lay down and she brushes me! I like it so much that I just purr and purr and purr. It feels so nice when my fur is all smooth and my winter coat comes off. Now I can enjoy my porch even more.

But there is a shocking new development. The Squeaky One told me about a new "brother" and "sister." It's bad enough that the Squeaky One is my sister, but another one???? Oh well, I've heard they're just baby kitties, and I like baby kitties OK. For some reason, baby kitties like to snuggle on top of me. I just let them, because, hey, who cares? There's no way they can steal my food from me. And that's what really counts.

Locked out and other moral outrages

I have not been able to update my kitty diary lately, and that is certainly one moral outrage. Since I need to rely upon my telepathic connection with my mommy, my updating capabilities are in her hands. My other people told me the reason I have not been able to connect with my mom is because she MOVED. I moved not too long ago, and still, I was able to perform my normal kitty duties and did not shirk them for 2 months! My people told me my mommy and daddy now own a house. I wonder if this means they will be sending for me. I miss them, but I do not want to leave the smoky man and my porch.

Speaking of my porch - another moral outrage occurred this week. It has been nice and sunny outside lately, and so my people have been keeping the door to the porch open so that the squeaky cat and I could enjoy the almost-outside. I love my porch (and of course, it is MY porch), so I went outside to snuggle up on the blanket my substitute mom left for me on one of the chairs. I must have fallen asleep, because when I woke up, it was dark and scary and silent. I trotted my kitty self over to the door to go inside and find the smoky man, but the door was closed! I pushed and pushed on it with my paw. Nothing happened. I started remembering the time the super scary raccoon tried to get into my porch when I was outside, and I became very VERY upset.

Eventually, I couldn't hold it in anymore and I started reawring and reawring - louder and louder. After a long time, I heard the noise buzzer in the room where my people sleep, and I started reawring even more frantically. I heard some movement, and my people calling my name. I cried louder. FINALLY, the smoky man appeared at the door and opened it for me. I ran inside, and, even though he didn't deserve it, I was so happy I couldn't help myself. I purred and purred and purred and purred. I followed my people around all morning because I was scared of being forgotten. When my substitute mom went into the giant shower room and closed the door, I cried at her. When she dried her hair with the loud hot air machine, I cried at her. When she went to the kitchen, I cried at her. Finally, I think she understood. She asked me the magic question. It is my favorite question, and it is one of their people phrases I know the best. It is:

"Explorer, would you like some wet food?"

The answer is always a resounding YES. For some reason, they will only give it to me if I sit and wait on the floor. I leapt off of the counter and cried while I waited. Finally, I was treated to a bowl full of the most wonderful wet food ever. Fancy Feast. I love Fancy Feast.

After my ordeal, I was so tired, I had to go take a nap in the snake on the bed. That other squeaky cat joined me, and I was too tired to kick her out.

I am being slandered.

The other squeaky cat is trying to slander me. I am NOT mean. I am a moody little kitty boy. Sometimes I feel crabby when I do not have enough treats. Yesterday was one of those times. I was looking forward to climbing up on the table and resting on the soft warm afghan (I know more words than the squeaky cat. I understand that my substitute mom is CROCHETING - not just using long hook things that "make" yarn!).

Imagine my extreme disappointment to discover the squeaky cat was there already, sitting up and squeaking and eeping at our substitute mom who was on the TELEPHONE (another word I understand that the other cat does NOT). I think the squeaky cat should have better kitty manners and not talk so much when our people are trying to talk to other people on the phone!

So, hungry annoyed little me just reached out and tapped her head to try to get her to go away and be quiet! But my people did not see it that way. They said I was being a bully. I do not think I like that word very much. It made me sad. But later on the smoky man picked me up and I rubbed my neck on his scratchy face and he told me I was good. That made me feel much better and important again. So everything was ok.