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Diary of a Deranged Black Cat

Heaven Received My Angel Boy Today

August 15th 2010 6:37 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 34 people already have ]

I will write this for my Stinkster, but soon, he will write again in his own special voice.

I just got home from a very long day of work today, we were working out of town. I found my precious boy lying under a small table in the hallway. I called his name, and called it again. He did not rise to greet me like he always does.

He was already cold and stiff. I cried and cried as my husband helped to pick him up.
I was not there when he needed me the most.
Oh God, why was I not home? Did I fail him in his last minutes?

We had a special bond, Stinky and I.
We had that bond since I first held him when he was a one pound kitten. He was always "my boy".
I didn't get to say a proper goodbye to my precious boy.
I knew this day was coming. For months we have been discussing if it was time to take him on a final trip to the vet, then he would rally and start eating with vigor. I told him he could stay as long as he liked. Some nights I think he only ate because I asked him to. I would say "just one more bite sweetie", and he would grab another mouthful as I held his plate. It helped if my husband or I held the plate at a comfortable level so he didn't have to bend his chest. It exhausted him to eat. His breathing was so bad, despite all the meds.
I am thankful that my boy is now at peace. I will never, ever stop thinking of him, or missing him.
Please understand if I am not able to write back very promptly.
Thank everyone who has always been so supportive and kind in Stinky's Catster life. Please help me keep his spirit alive.

Love always,
Teri and David


Leave A Comment | 34 people already have

Purred by: Twix (Forever Missed) (Catster Member)

August 15th 2010 at 6:44 pm

My dearest friend ..I wish I could hug you tightly. Tears are falling as I write this. Still can't believe it ..I wish I knew why these things kept happening ..why all the heartaches? I don't know ..Stinky will always have a special place in your heart as well as mine..

Love always,
~Twixy & Rebecca
Purred by: Lisa P

August 15th 2010 at 6:46 pm

OMG! We're sooooo very sorry for your loss. Please don't be so hard on yourself. I left my momma very quickly and she still beats herself up for it. I was there to take Stinky home and he's resting comfortably now. He says he loves you both more than you'll ever know and please know that he didn't mean to leave like this. But we kitties sometimes feel it's our decision how we go to heaven and want to spare you the burden of making that choice for us. My momma will comfort you both and I'll take care of Stinky here in heaven. It'll be okay, I promise. Luv Alex
Purred by: Mouse, Precious Angel Kitty (Catster Member)

August 15th 2010 at 6:46 pm

Teri and David, we are so very sorry to hear this. You did everything you could for Stinky, and he knew it then and he knows it now. Maybe he went to sleep to spare you from having to be there. He sounds like he would have done anything for you, and you for him. (((hugs)))

Mouse and Family
Purred by: Alfiechinacat UK (Catster Member)

August 15th 2010 at 6:47 pm

Teri, David, You are both in my thoughts and Prayers. I am So sorry to hear of Stinky,s crossing. You didnt fail him, not for one minute..He knew you loved him and I know He is watching you with Pure Love in his bright eyes. HUGS , Purrs and Prayers .Another New Star will Shine down Upon Us tonight ..Purring Softly . Lyn, Alfie and Family
Purred by: Twix (Forever Missed) (Catster Member)

August 15th 2010 at 6:51 pm

There Is No Death

There is a plan far greater than the plan you know; There is a landscape broader than the one you see. There is a haven where storm-tossed souls may go- You call it death - we, immortality. You call it death - this seeming endless sleep; We call it birth - the soul at last set free. 'Tis hampered not by time or space - you weep. Why weep at death? 'Tis immortality.

Farewell, dear voyageur -'twill not be long.
Your work is done - now may peace rest with thee. Your kindly thoughts and deeds- they will live on. This is not death -'tis immortality.

Farewell, dear voyageur - the river winds and turns; The cadence of your song wafts near to me, And now you know the thing that all men learn: There is no death - there's immortality.

-Author Unknown
Purred by: The Texas Wild Bunch ✯ (Catster Member)

August 15th 2010 at 7:14 pm

Thank you so very much~
Purred by: ♥ Anna ♥ (Catster Member)

August 15th 2010 at 7:27 pm

For Stinky's mom ~ you gave Stinky a wonderful life, you took such extrordinary care of him and gave him everything in your power to make his life easier and better. Try to think of him just quietly, peacefully going to sleep. i can't tell you how very sorry i am for all your pain. you are such a special family and i love you so very much! Anna and mom
Purred by: Zoey (Catster Member)

August 15th 2010 at 7:44 pm

Oh My! We are thinking of you with love and am so sorry to hear about your loss!!
Hugs, Zoey and Family
Purred by: Lisa P

August 15th 2010 at 8:08 pm

Twix that poem is tremendously beautiful!
Purred by: Hazel Lucy & Purrsville Cats (Catster Member)

August 15th 2010 at 8:08 pm

So very sorry you were not with him at the end.
Sending purrs of comfort....
Purred by: Monida (Catster Member)

August 15th 2010 at 9:27 pm

My heart goes out to you all. Rest in peace, Stinky.
Purred by: Alfie - DB #37a - Dearly Loved (Catster Member)

August 16th 2010 at 1:06 am

We're so sorry for your loss.
Love & hugs
Alfie & family xx
Purred by: Mr D - D'boat #19 (Catster Member)

August 16th 2010 at 2:29 am

Purrs from us too, From NZ.
Purred by: Wendy C

August 16th 2010 at 3:34 am

I am so sorry for you loss. Purring and purraying for comfort to you during this difficult time.

Hugz and purrs, Sassy
Purred by: Arlene S

August 16th 2010 at 4:10 am

Oh no! We are so sorry and shocked to hear of Stinky's passing. We have followed his illness for so long but somehow he always managed to pull through. Since we hadn't read anything in months we thought he was holding his own.

He was such a brave little boy and he loved you so much that he stayed with you as long as he could. You gave him a good life and he knew that he was loved.

Stinky will remain in our hearts as I know he will always be in yours. He was a sweet beloved boy.

Elise & family
Purred by: Sky (Catster Member)

August 16th 2010 at 4:37 am

We are heartbroken at the loss of Stinky.
"tears" "sobs"

He knew you loved him - do not feel guilty you were not there.

He is with Zach, Harry, Riley, Claire and Lucy and is safe. You have had so much sadness we are hoping for happier times for your family.

Purred by: George ♥ DB #176B (Catster Member)

August 16th 2010 at 5:41 am

Teri, David and family~
We share your grief and can only hope that you take comfort in knowing Stinky is pain free, healthy and whole. We are all here to surround you with our love and purrs....

Godspeed sweet Stinky, we look up toward Heaven and smile, feeling touched by the pawprints you've left in our hearts.

Much love to you and your family.

George, the Kitty Crew and mom Terry
Purred by: Eva V

August 16th 2010 at 6:16 am

My lovely friend~ Teri. You are going to have to learn not to beat yourself up. As sweet Mouse's mom said, Stinky did not want to cause you more pain. He left after a good breaky! He decided he needed to rest. Please believe that.
He is surrounded by his family, sweet Zack and my guys, and so many angel pals.
As long as you are alive, he lives in your memories.
I hope everyone is right and that we will meet our precious furs again.
Please take care of yourself
Love you very much,
Eva and beloved furs.......
Purred by: Freddie Mac (Thornclaw) (Catster Member)

August 16th 2010 at 8:07 am

Rest in peace dear friend.
Please do not blame yourself. You were (and are) the best Mama and you did everything you could. Stinky knew you loved him. He is no longer in pain and can breathe with ease once again.
Thinking of you at this time and sending lots of love.
Purred by: KIBBLES (Catster Member)

August 16th 2010 at 9:09 am

Rest in Peace Sweet Stinky.
Momcat your Stinky knows how much you cared and love him. You did not ever leave him alone. He was aways in your heart and you in his. Purrs, Prayers, Hugs and Kisses to you and all the family.

Fly High and free Sweet Stinky!

Love your friends,
Kibbles, Francis & Angel Yoda
Purred by: Teebo - Angel Dreamboat #66 (Catster Member)

August 16th 2010 at 10:54 am

Sending purrs of love and comfort to Stinky and the whole family during this terrible time. You are in our thoughs and prayers.

Teebo, Callie and Rose
Purred by: Tilly (Catster Member)

August 16th 2010 at 12:36 pm

Sorry for your loss of Stinky, he knew you loved and cared for him to the end, sending lots of love and Purrs love Tilly xx
Purred by: Sonny Bono Angel Dreamboat-#34 (Catster Member)

August 16th 2010 at 1:20 pm

Stinky's Momcat, I know exactly how you feel, Sonny will be gone 20 months tomorrow and I still question myself if we did the right thing, Sonny was and is my soul mate, you took excellent care of Stinky he is in Heaven now, he can breathe and is very healthy and just think one day you will be with him for eternity, for that I thank God, He is so good to us, I will keep you and your family in my prayers, if at anytime you want to talk all you have to do is write to me, I wish I was there to give you a big hug, please don't worry, Stinky knew just how much you loved him and he will never forget you.

Angel Sir Sonny Bono and Momcat Judi ~
Purred by: Reuben (An angel now) (Catster Member)

August 16th 2010 at 1:38 pm

We are so sorry for the loss of your beloved Stinky. I too lost my Reuben very unexpectedly and found him in the same manner. I was not with him when he passed and have beat myself up many times wishing I could have been near him when he passed. It was not meant to be. We pray that all the wonderful memories of your sweet Stinky will warm your heart and comfort you in times of sadness. We will never forget your Angel Boy!

Hugs and purrs,
Simon & Reuben(an angel)
Purred by: Angel ♥Kally Kat♥ (Catster Member)

August 16th 2010 at 5:09 pm

Mom & Dad,

Stinky is at peace now & knowing he pass on at home was a peaceful final way to leave his earthly home where he was so loved & well - cared for.
We all know how furry mush you love all yur furrbabies, yur the greatest pawrents for all you do & for all you are.

Stinky is at peace, whole healthy & speshilly happie again, free to be Stinky!

Gosh, I had ya'll in my thoughts very early this morning, thinking bout how ya'll are doing.

We wrap our arms around you & Pop hugging you so eva so gently.

God bless you both & yur furrchildren.

We all love you very much here, your Catster Furrfamilies!

Purrs & purrayers to yur family TWB!

Loves & ~huggs~,
Kally Kat & Mommy Liz ♥♥
Purred by: ZEEKE dreamboat #40a (Catster Member)

August 16th 2010 at 7:12 pm

Dear Stinky & family,

We are so sorry to hear of your passing. You were so very loved and that love will never cease or diminish. Love is forever, hold that dear in your hearts. We send you all lots of love , hugs and gentle whisker kisses to ease the tears & pain.


Zeeke & the crew
Purred by: Ava 4 ever Mommy's Angel (Catster Member)

August 16th 2010 at 10:18 pm

Mommy and the rest of us are so sorry you are sad...we really loved Stinky and have followed him since we joined last summer. I will give him kisses and be his Angel friend here at the Bridge. LOVE, Ava and family
Purred by: ♥ Jezebel RIP ♥ (Catster Member)

August 17th 2010 at 10:35 pm

That is so sad. Tons of purrs for you.
Purred by: Blade (2000-2010) (Catster Member)

August 22nd 2010 at 4:32 pm

Stinky, my mum and dad are going to light an extra candle for you in my memorial garden tonight. We didn't know you purrsonally on Catster but we have read your diary and will keep your spirit alive, you can be sure of that, brave boy.
Purred by: Miss Sable-Kitty (Catster Member)

August 25th 2010 at 11:51 am

Oh, precious Stinky, I am *missing* you!

It's so like you to choose such a loving, selfless and brave last gift for your beloved mom... you decided to spare her the terrible pain of watching you go. You are a generous & courageous spirit, Stinky, and I know you are soaring now, watching out for her, touching her with your forever-love.

Many purrrrs and warm hugs, dear boy-- keeping you always in my heart.
Purred by: Chelsea Louise (Catster Member)

August 31st 2010 at 9:02 am

We are so sorry to hear about Stinky. He was such a brave sweet boy! We are glad he is no longer sick and he has lots of family and friends to welcome him to the Rainbow Bridge! Love, Chelsea and family
Purred by: Moozer ♥Love is forever (Catster Member)

September 1st 2010 at 11:23 am

Stinky, we are so sorry you ad to make your final journey...
Terri and David, we are so sorry for all your loss in recent months/weeks.
Keep sure isnt easy. We know...
Much love,
Moozer + the Archangel Crew
Purred by: Mayhem (Catster Member)

October 1st 2010 at 7:42 am

Oh no! How could we not have and mommy have not been on Catster very much lately and we are just now reading this very sad news. Our purrs and prayers are with you and yours!
Silent purrs...
>^..^< Mayhem and her mommy Mary
Purred by: Serena Honey Girl Angel (Catster Member)

January 31st 2012 at 4:08 pm

Stinky, darling Brave Angel, I know how us black kitties can be special and bonded because many of your qualities were so similar to mine.

The lives we did lead are also so similar. My dad knew my day was coming too, when I got sicker; he worried about how he'd find me every day, but I hung on so long that he thought I'd stay forever. My breathing problems began after dentistry causing a tumor in my forehead, and even though I was still alive and eating, my tumor, near the end, would at times easily bleed and Dad had to eventually take me to the Vet for 'sleep'.

My dad would hold my dish up for me too, so the phlegmy noise would not cause me to sneeze. Often I slept beside Dad, or at the end of the bed, or on a box nearby and purred for hours with a loud purr like yours. No wonder he did not want me to go when it was 'time to' last June. My health very slowly got worse the last 2 years of my life. I'm glad to see you up here in Heaven, Angel Stinky but I know our family wishes we were still with them.

Love Serena xo

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