September 21st 2004 8:53 am
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That's it, I am fed up. My female human has me on a "diet." She claims that I am eating way faster than Mia (well duh...she eats like a bird...), then headbutting her out of the way and finishing her food when I'm done with mine. Therefore, she claims, I am eating way more than I should. THAT IS NOT FOR HER TO DECIDE!!! She doesn't understand the pressures of being this handsome. A cat doesn't become this handsome and buff just by excercising all day and eating in "timed feedings." THAT'S FOR SISSIES!!! I must have food readily available for my consumption at all times. What if the other cats get wind of this?? I'll be the laughingstock of the Ferocious Feline Hunks, and I might not be asked to be in the Calendar this year!!!

I will not just sit back and take this. She WILL learn (if she is fond of her couch in it's current condition) that when I am in the kitchen, I EXPECT food, and I will have it. Diet my foot.