My Life as a Human..er...Cat

Ever since I went to the hospital and they cut my tummy open, I've noticed I put on a few pounds. My once svelte body is now turning quite plump around the middle. Mommy loves to touch my belly and tell me how cute and cuddly I am but a girl's got to watch her figure, ya know? But I can't help it, I'm constantly eating. During the day Gigi and I lounge on the couch eating Bon Bons and watch Jerry Springer. For some weird reason I can see people running around and hitting eachother but they're not making any noise. Hmm, wonder what that's all about? And there's not much else I can do when Mom and Dad aren't home. I can only chase Gigi around so much before the little girl that he is starts crying when I smack him around a little too much. I need to toughen that boy up!! And Mommy cuts my nails all the time so it's not like I can dig into him that much.

Well, I'm off to watch some more talk shows. See ya around!!