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Squooshy's diary

The Daily Diary of a Dog and A Cat

People who have dogs and/or cats, will surely be able to relate to this column.
When I checked my email the other day I found this and knew I had to pass it along.

The entries from the dog's diary begin at 8 a.m.-Dog food. My favorite thing. 9:30 a.m. - A car ride. My favorite thing. 9:40 a.m. - A walk in the park. My favorite thing. 10:30 a.m. - Got rubbed and petted. My favorite thing. Noon - Lunch. My favorite thing. 1 p.m. - Played in the yard. My favorite thing. 3 p.m. - Wagged my tail. My favorite thing. 5 p.m. - milk bones. My favorite thing. 7 p.m. - Got to play ball. My favorite thing. 8 p.m. - Watched TV with the people. My favorite thing.
11 p.m. - Sleeping on the bed. My favorite thing. In fact, I think most dogs love just about anything as long as you pay attention to them and feed them.

On the other hand, cats are an entirely different animal as is evident from excerpts said to be taken from a cat's daily diary. I think you'll love this one.

The cats diary begins: Day 683 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.
I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the floor.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped it at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates of what I am capable.
However, they merely made condescending comments about what a good little hunter I am.
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinment for the duration of the event. However I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of allergies. I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The dog receives special privilidges. He is regularily released and seems more than willing to return. He is obviously very simple minded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly and I am certain he reports my every move.
My captors have arranged protectivee custody for him in an elevated cell. He is safe...for now

Daily Diary of a Dog and a Cat

People who have dogs and/or cats, will surely be able to relate to this column.
When I checked my email the other day I found this and knew I had to pass it along.

The entries from the dog's diary begin at 8 a.m.-Dog food. My favorite thing. 9:30 a.m. - A car ride. My favorite thing. 9:40 a.m. - A walk in the park. My favorite thing. 10:30 a.m. - Got rubbed and petted. My favorite thing. Noon - Lunch. My favorite thing. 1 p.m. - Played in the yard. My favorite thing. 3 p.m. - Wagged my tail. My favorite thing. 5 p.m. - milk bones. My favorite thing. 7 p.m. - Got to play ball. My favorite thing. 8 p.m. - Watched TV with the people. My favorite thing.
11 p.m. - Sleeping on the bed. My favorite thing. In fact, I think most dogs love just about anything as long as you pay attention to them and feed them.

On the other hand, cats are an entirely different animal as is evident from excerpts said to be taken from a cat's daily diary. I think you'll love this one.

The cats diary begins: Day 683 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.
I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the floor.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped it at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates of what I am capable.
However, they merely made condescending comments about what a good little hunter I am.
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinment for the duration of the event. However I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of allergies. I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The dog receives special privilidges. He is regularily released and seems more than willing to return. He is obviously very simple minded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly and I am certain he reports my every move.
My captors have arranged protectivee custody for him in an elevated cell. He is safe...for now