Shooting the Breeze

My Diet is Working!

Mummy's having an eventful week, what with all the hassles with her Internet and then the place where she went to work to earn money to buy cat food, well she says it went down the gurgler, whatever that means, and now she hasn't got a job for the moment. So she said she reeeally didn't need a double vet bill right now but as I had a mucky eye I would have to go. I told her it could wait until she starts working again but she said tough luck, we're off to the vet and loaded me and Arrow into our Portajails. I sang cat opera in the car all the way there. Arrow sat in the front seat and didn't sing anything.
The vet gave me some medicine for my eye, but here's some GOOD news, my diet is really working! I'm down from 9.8 kilograms to 7.4. How good is that! Mummy is so proud of me.
Now that I am slimmer, perhaps a handsome tom might come out of the woodwork and send me a Valentine? Teeheehee!

I Got A Rat!

Mummy's internet connection is down, but I insisted she type a diary entry for me at the place she goes to earn money to buy cat food. Yes, after everyone laughed at my efforts to catch a mouse on the front porch, I caught a big grey rat! All by myself, too! Arrow wanted to have it but I growled at her and said she couldn't touch my rat, it was a present for Mummy. Mummy loved it.
I'm working on a mouse at the moment. It's loose in the house and boy is it fast. Then again I'd probably put on a burst of speed if I were a mouse loose in a house with five cats....

Mouse Party!

We had a Mouse Party last night and boy was it fun! Mummy looked out onto the front patio to see me leaping and pouncing and skittering across the concrete after something. She let Orkney and Bunty out to party with me and we had a blast! When she looked out again a couple of hours later we had proudly laid a kill on the welcome mat. She opened the door for a closer look and Bunty came waltzing around the corner with another one hanging out of her mouth! So she hastily shut the door and we partied all night. Yeah!
Oh, and where was Chief Mouser Arrow during all this? Snoring in her office chair, the party pooper!

I'm naughty & sporty!

Now that I've been on my diet for a few months I've become quite sporty and svelte - well, comparatively speaking anyway. I can do more things now like jump on the bench and sit in the kitchen sink - all things I'm not supposed to do of course!
One thing I AM supposed to do is catch mice - and I waited two hours outside our little cat house (Salon Kitty) until the mouse I was stalking finally made a run for it. I got him! I got him! I was squeaking with delight to let Mummy know I had one. But I got so carried away I dropped him and then Mummy had to pick me up and point me in the right direction. She even brought Orkney in to help out, but I didn't want help. It was my mouse! I was so busy hissing at Orkney, the mouse got away again. And then I had to go and lie down after all the excitement. But Mummy is not worried, she knows that with five of us here, sooner or later that mouse is a goner.

The Great Weigh-In

Mummy popped Orkney in the cage to go to the vet for her checkup this morning, and I was having a good laugh at her when I suddenly found myself being heaved into a cage as well! What the...?
Turns out she wanted to weigh me to see how my diet is progressing and thought I would enjoy the car ride with Orkney. What was she thinking, we all hate car rides. I cried all the way there as usual. The vet tech got me out of the carrier (puffing with exertion) and plopped me on the scales. 9.1 kilos! I've lost 700 grams. I think that's close to 2 pounds. But they want me to lose more. When is this going to end??

One Month into the Diet!

I've been on my diet for a month now and I'm really getting the hang of it. The change in routine upset everyone for the first few days, not just me. Here's how Mummy has been managing it:
Tara the wussbag gets fed in the back bedroom as usual, she gets her special food for old furts and gets shut in there. ( I sometimes wish she'd stay there, but she is fun to torment when she comes out.)
Mummy puts my special diet food down in the main bedroom and shuts me in.
Orkney, Bunty and Arrow have their food in the kitchen as usual. When they have had their bowls down for 20-30 minutes, Mummy takes up the bowls and puts them in the cupboard. (NOT the one that Arrow and Bunty can open,alas!) Then she opens the bedroom door and lets me out. I run to the kitchen and look disappointed, then I get over it. It's taken a couple of weeks to get this routine down pat - you should have heard the whingeing that the others went on with when their bowls first disappeared, but they get it now. Initially Orkney was very worried and kept yapping at Mummy to tell her I was locked in the bedroom. I guess she thought I might fade away from hunger
(**comment from Mummy - not any time soon!).
I've lost a bit of weight and Mummy has been so pleased with the way I have adapted, she bought me my own special water bowl with "Good Cat" written on it. I love it!

What a Surprise!

It was so pawesome to learn that I had been chosen as DOTD. Thanks to everybody who sent me messages and rosies and lovin'. I am soooooooooo sorry I have not responded as Mummy has broken the computer really badly this time. Our human uncle Colin is fixing it. I'm dictating this over the phone to Mummy at work, she promises she will respond to every one personally when the computer is back.

It's Official!

Mummy took me to the vet last night for my checkup and shots. Boy did I give her a hard time getting me into the cage, heh-heh-heh. But she has had her revenge, because the vet has pronounced me:
Officially Obese!
I have to go on a diet! Aaargh!
Mummy is not sure at this point about the logistics of this. She has got some sample "Obesity Management" food. How insulting!
Just to show her I can still get around as well as those slim cats, I jumped up on the kitchen bench and drank out of the sink. But then I couldn't get down....

Happy Easter Everybody

Orkney has turned the diarist's job over to me for Easter. She's sulking because Mummy morphed her into a bunny rabbit. We all know that Easter is about the Resurrection, not rabbits, or at least Mummy keeps telling me. Zephyr, Easter is not about Food, she says. (But then she came home today with choccies.)
There is a dawn service tomorrow at a local historic house. Mummy would like to go, but the chances of her ever getting out of bed at 5.30 in the morning are close to nil. More likely is that she will wake up around eight-thirty because I am slowly crushing all her internal organs.
We wish all our Catster friends a very happy Easter. For those of a different faith, a happy holiday.
Even if I don't get any extra food tomorrow, I will have a treat because Craig is coming over and I will get a chin-chuck, a tummy rub, and if I play my cards right, a Zoom Groom as well. Life is good.

A good day for Zephyr

Mummy's friend Craig came over tonight. I like it when Craig comes because I clamber onto the sofa next to him and he pats me. I get a chuck under the chin and a good tummy rub. I love it when Craig rubs my tummy. Craig didn't really like cats until he met us, but we all worked our charms on him. He says I'm his cat, except when I barf on the carpet, then he says I'm Mummy's cat. (Mummy refers to me as his familiar.)
Another good thing happened today; Mummy has bought us all a present. She's going to grow us some catnip! I am the only one of us who is affected by catnip toys, so she is interested to see if the others respond to the actual plant.

Clown Princess

Mummy was very worried about Arrow last night, after taking her to the vet and then the medicine making Arrow sick, so I decided to cheer everybody up. I rolled and rolled in the dirt and I came inside and pretended to be a black smoke like Tara! Hehe! Orkney said no-one in their right minds would ever mistake me for Tara no matter how black I was, as there is enough of me for two Taras.
Speaking of the wussbag, I got her good tonight. She was sitting gazing out the front door like the wimpy little coward she is, when my face popped up in front of her on the other side of the glass like Freddy Kruger. She hissed and ran off. It was excellent sport!

A New Toy!

The folks at Purina have done it again with their promotional freebies. Last time it was the blankie, which I almost never get to lie on because Orkney hogs it. This time it was an awesome crinkly tunnel, and this one is MINE! I love exploring crinkly things as you can probably tell from the picture of me in the plastic bag. That bag kept me amused for hours. The crinkly tunnel is even better, there's some kind of furry thing hanging inside it. I have had a great time jumping in and out of the tunnel and poking the furry thing through the holes. The others don't seem to get the point of it at all, which suits me fine. There isn't room for anyone else in there when I'm using it. Come to think of it, there's hardly room for me - Mummy must have brought home the small size.

Five Years Old

It's our birthday on Saturday 25th, and we're very excited because that means we're going to get treats! I wonder what Mummy has got us? I hope it's food, I hope I hope I hope. I'm going to be five years old and so is Bunty and so is Arrow. Orkney is going to be six. Tara the wussbag's birthday isn't until January but she'll get a treat anyway and I can steal some of hers.
Arrow is under next door's house because the DND's (Dogs Next Door) chased her there. The DNDs have been locked up for this transgression. Arrow's really scared of dogs so I hope she comes home in time for her treat on Saturday.

Tagged!

Our friend Puddles from Texas has tagged all of us to tell 5 facts about ourselves. So here are my 5 facts:

1. Despite weighing the most of us by a long shot, I can sit up like a prairie dog.
2. I want to be top cat, but Orkney won't let me.
3. I'm the least shy of all of us.
4. I really, reeeeeally don't like Tara.
5. When Mummy gets home from work and opens the front door, I shoot out like a cork out of a bottle and roll around on the concrete.

Over to Orkney to tag 5 more kitties!

I was a DDP!

Apparently I was a DDP yesterday, so now I am even with Orkney. Except she is still top cat. She gave me and Bunty a thumping on Saturday night, the little bossy boots. Mummy had to lock her in the bedroom for some time out, ha ha hardy-ha. Then she checked the Feliway dispenser to find it was empty, which explained why we were all out of sorts. She bought some more today and now it's all Peace and Love...Peeeeace and Luuuuurve.....

Food, glorious food

Mummy is trying us on different cat food. She bought some crunchies endorsed by a leading TV vet, and she keeps trying to feed it to us. Arrow and Tara won't have a bar of it, and the others are pretty unenthusiastic. But I thought I'd give it a try and I scarfed it down. About five minutes later I barfed it back up again.
Scarf and barf, I say - it makes room for more food!

WHAT WAS I THINKING?

I can't believe I did this. I jumped on the bed before - and Tara was curled up on there looking at me - and I was so surprised, I kissed her! Ack! Ptooey!
Mummy patted me on the head and said I was a good girl.
I smiled sweetly at Tara and said under my breath, "I'm not going to make a habit of this, Wussbag."
She looked back at me and said "Suits me, Fatso."
Mummy didn't hear the catspeak and was patting us both now.
Ack! Yuck! I can't believe I kissed Tara!
What was I thinking?
Ecccchhh!!

Beware of the door!

Doors and I just don't seem to get on. When Mummy had visitors a couple of weeks ago I was scared, so I grabbed hold of the screen door in both paws and rattled it really hard to let Mummy know I was desperate to come in. Several hours later the door fell off its tracks.
Tonight I was sitting outside and I reached around the partly opened screen door to get an insect. My claw got caught in the wire so I pulled and pulled to try to get it free. But I couldn't get loose, and the more I pulled, the more the door slid further towards the door jamb, almost closing the door on my head and my arm. I was panicking!
Luckily Mummy saw my plight and rescued me by opening the glass door and unhooking my claw. She gave me some extra pats, and I chased Tara a few times and I'm all happy now.

In the Doghouse

Well, after Arrow and the tom had the big rumble last night and Orkney accused me of being a coward, I thought I would show how tough I am, so I chased Tara across the lounge room. But Mummy caught me and told me I was a Bad Cat. So she made me stay outside ALL NIGHT (sniff,sob). I didn't like it out there! That tom could've come back at any time. And Orkney got to use the Funky Hollow all night, and Bunty and Tara were on Mummy's bed. It's NOT FAIR (blubber)!

Ten Things I Don't Like About Tara!

My furmummy Orkney is the diarist in our family, but I thought I would put paw to paper just to set the record straight about Tara. So here goes -
TEN THINGS I DON'T LIKE ABOUT TARA.
1. She was here before me.
2. She's a wuss.
3. She's got these silver eyebrows and she wiggles them up and down when she blinks.
4. She hissed at us when we were kittens.
5. She's got softer fur than I have.
6. She's always hacking up furballs.
7. She's thinner than I am.
8. She makes Mummy get mad at me.
9. She has her meals in another room where I can't get them.
10. She makes these stupid noises, like "ngak" and "prrgung".
So that's why I don't like Tara. And I'm very reasonable, I always give her fair warning before I attack. She gets the Death Ray Stare first before I launch.
Yours sincerely
Zephyr.

Footnote re item 7 from Orkney - So is everybody else. MOL!