Orkney's Yappings

Mice everywhere!

It's so dry here, all the field mice are popping in, in search of food. We've caught heaps, not to mention Zephyr's rat (fair dinkum, she's STILL going on about that rat she caught on Australia Day).
Every night is party night - after dark when it gets a bit cooler we go out and have a Mouse Party! Mind you, it was quite cool at the end of the last week - Mummy got the Ratbag out of his paddock, and he was actually shivering, so she put his rug on. Then today she had to take it off again. That's Melbourne weather for you. Some of our friends OS are having blizzards and 2 foot snowfalls, so we haven't got much to complain about.
We had Mummy home for most of last week as the place where she was working went bust, but she says she's got another job starting tomorrow and we will not actually have to eat the mice that we catch. Just as well, they're pretty puny things (yes, all right Zephyr, except for your RAT!)

Doggy Doings

(No, not THAT sort of doggy doings! )
Mummy's friend brought the Labra-thing inside a few days ago. Reaction pretty much as expected, except Zephyr came back for a second look because she couldn't believe her eyes. A dog in our house! Mummy said Zephyr was hissing before she even came out of the bedroom, just in case the Labra-thing got any ideas. I just stayed under the bed. So the next time when it came for a visit they left it outside as usual - only problem, I was outside too. Man, was I scared. Mummy's friend came out and held its collar and Mummy called me inside. I slunk into the house right under its jaws! (Not that its jaws were doing anything, but you never know.)
I'm so proud of myself for being so brave. I rubbed my head all over Mummy's leg to tell her and her friend how incredibly brave I was. Zephyr just lay on the windowsill and smirked.

She's Lost the Plot

Mummy's gone insane. She's talking about getting a dog because the Dogs Next Door are moving. Goodbye, dear little Jack Russell. (*floods of crocodile tears dissolving into maniacal cackling*)
In keeping with her strange habit of having animals named after remote islands in the Northern Hemisphere to which she has never been, Mummy says she might get a dog called - I forget now. Labra- something. A friend of hers has a black one and it visits. It's OK for a pants-sniffer especially as it stays outside. But I heard her talking about bringing it INSIDE to see how we react. Well, I can tell you how: Tara and Arrow will melt away like smoke, Zephyr and I will stare in horror at it for five seconds, hiss loudly and run under the bed, and Bunty will pee on something - don't know what, but Mummy will find the trouble spot some time later when she least expects it.
Woe is us!

Now it's hot

We're all just lying around snoozing - it's way too hot to do anything else, although Arrow managed to find the energy to barf on the carpet this morning. She seems to have eaten something that disagreed with her, but she's sleeping off whatever it was. I'm enjoying a moment of consciousness at the computer desk. Mummy says she can't do anything much anyway as she feels like she's been kicked by a horse. Hmmm - reason for that is - yep, she's been kicked by a horse. Got a big hoofprint on her thigh. The Flaming Ratbag struck again! S'pose you can't blame him for being grumpy, Mummy hasn't ridden him for two years and then jumps on him twice in two days. And this heat's enough to make anyone cranky. I keep telling Mummy we should move to Orkney, my namesake island. They have snow there. Bring it on!

Sleeping it off

As Boxing Day draws to a close we have been sleeping off our excesses. I'm happy to report that the gingerbread house did not fall down and after distributing pieces to family and friends Mummy is busy chomping her way through the remaining wall. Hope her teeth hold out.
I've posted a pic of our beloved Lily whom we missed very much this Christmas. Mummy is going to attempt a watercolour of Lily. She can draw horses better than she can draw cats, so I hope it's not too misshapen.

Christmas Eve

It's the night before Christmas, and Mummy, not content with having spent hours making batches of little Christmas puddings, suddenly decides to bake a gingerbread house. (Well, not that suddenly, she's been threatening to do it for days.) She figures that as the kitchen is already coated in flour and non-stick spray and littered with cooking utensils, a few more isn't going to make things any worse.
So she mixes and kneads (I could have helped here), mixes and kneads, and every so often curses, "How did that cat hair get in my gingerbread dough?" How indeed. A mystery, my friends.
Then she spends ages rolling it out and pressing it into the moulds. When she's done the roof and the walls and patted down the dough evenly, she discovers there's not enough dough for the door, so she has to pinch some from the walls and pat them down again. There's supposed to be a gingerbread man and a gingerbread lady as well, but apparently there wasn't enough dough for those, because I heard her mutter "Bugger the gingerbread man and the gingerbread lady."
Well, it's in the oven now. Paws crossed - the last one crumbled into a pile of rubble, MOL MOL.

Goodbye to our Lily

Grandpaw and Grandmaw's beloved Lily went peacefully to the bridge today, at home with her family. She was a dear little smiley happy cat who will be very much missed. We are grateful that our grandpawrents were able to take her off the street and give her a furever home for the last few years of her life.

Lily is Home!

Grandpaw was able to bring Lily home today. She's very weak, and not eating a lot, but she is comfortable for now. All kitties are much happier when they're at home. Mummy relayed our friends' kind messages to Lily via Grandmaw and they say thank you very much.
We will keep purring and take each day as it comes.

Purring for our Lily

Lily is our Grandpaw and Grandmaw's cat. She is a sweet little cat with chinchilla-type fur and a cute little smile. No-one knows how old she is, she was a stray when Grandpaw and Grandmaw took her in, but she has been unwell for some time and tonight she is on a drip at the vet's where they are trying to rehydrate her and give her some relief from the type of problems that often beset elderly cats. The vet thinks the time is not far off when she will have to make that final journey to the Bridge. I wish I had a pic of her to post, she is not on Catster but she is so pretty and our grandpawrents love her very much. We are all purring and praying for them.

She's Got To Be Joking

Tooradin's a sleepy little place, but things do happen. Today for the first time that Mummy can remember, there was a cat show at the Tooradin hall. Off she went to have a look at the show cats. There were lots of beautiful pedigree animals there, so she tells me. She particularly liked the Blue British shorthairs and the Scottish Folds. She also had a look at the "Companion Animals." She reckons I would beat them paws down. She's plotting to buy me a cage and a fancy velvet drape to go in it. Then she wants to haul me around to the cat show to compete for prizes. I don't think so, Mummy, unless there are prizes for shredding judges. They don't call me the Baby-faced Assassin for nothing!

No prawns tonight

It's Melbourne Cup Day, and Mummy fought the crowds in the TAB shop to get a bet on. She promised us prawns for dinner if she won. Well, she had an each-way bet on the third placegetter Mourilyan, but overall she says she dropped a couple of dollars after not winning the Trifecta, so no prawns tonight. Apparently it was a great race and the winning horse Shocking put in a terrific run. I don't care, I want my prawns!
I reckon she should make the Ratbag go out and win a race for us. We have our job to do (killing vermin), he should make himself useful to Mummy for a change instead of spending all his energy trying to squash her. Then we could have a lot more prawns.

Another animal accident!

It seems Mummy can't go a whole week without one of her animals attempting to do her bodily harm. Last week she got severely bitten by Arrow, necessitating antibiotics and a tetanus shot. Today she was returning the Flaming Ratbag to his paddock when he jumped a boggy ditch and landed on top of her. She says there's nothing like the sensation of being hit between the shoulder blades by a 450kg horse and smacked face down in the mud. She's fine, as a matter of fact the 7 kg cat did more damage than the horse, MOL! To help out though I will give her a bit of a knead tonight.

Fine Dining

Well we had a great birthday, Mummy bought the finest Dines, and we feasted on tuna and salmon and prawns and crab! She even let Zephyr break her diet, you should have seen the big clumper nomming like there was no tomorrow. Craig came over but Zephie was too bloated to roll over and let Craig rub her tummy. She got a pretty good chin chuck though.
That night we all clambered on top of Mummy and became a happy vibrating cat blanket, except Arrow who is still a little traumatised after nearly becoming dog food the day before. She's going to be all right, although I don't think she'll be mousing in the shed in the near future.
We received some wonderful rosettes from our friends for which we will thank the senders in purrson. Our friends Leah and Nadia also sent us five little cat toys via their Mummy.
I should mention that we also got the best present a couple of weeks back - Mummy went to see the specialist and she hasn't got the horrible condition the GP thought she might have, so that was the most pawesome present of all.
On a sadder note, I guess everyone knows that Catster is in mourning today for the incomparable Leader of Kneaders, Calvin, so I hope nobody minds if I finish my diary entry with those famous words - Knead On.

Can Mummy still open a tin?

I don't know what it is about Arrow, but for a peaceable cat she is always in the wars. She was attacked by a dog today - see her diary for all the grisly details. Looks like she'll be OK for our birthdays though, yippee! Mummy was going to spend a quiet afternoon updating our pages but thanks to all the commotion today she's running a bit behind and can hardly use her left arm because she got bitten so badly (she's a leftie). As long as she can open a tin, that's OK.
Mummy isn't really sure exactly when my birthday is, but according to rough calculations she thinks I am a year older than my furkids, and she knows when their birthdays are, so we share the date.
I'm all excited, I wonder what flavour Dines she got us?

What's with the weather?

In my last diary entry I said one of the things I like about October is that the weather starts to get nicer. Well, strike that one out! It's been absolutely miserable here for weeks! Howling wind, pouring rain, freezing cold - what the heck? Up north they're battling fires, down here we have got the water wings on and everyone has put the winter pyjamas back on their horses (except Mummy, who tried to rug up the Ratbag, but he wouldn't have a bar of it. He hates wearing rugs.).
It's great to have rain, but it's filling the tanks faster than we can use it! And the garden is just growing out of control, hope there's no snakes living in there...yuck! I'm sending Mummy out there with a shovel whether she likes it or not!

Tagged!

Our friend Lily - a Halloween queen if ever there was one - has tagged me to name 5 things I like about Halloween.
Not much Halloween stuff really happens Down Under, but I can sure name 5 things I like about October.
1. Daylight saving starts - yippee!
2. The Spring Racing Carnivals start, and Mummy might go to the TAB and win some money for cat food. (Then again, she might go to the TAB and bet on something that ends up as cat food - MOL)
3. The weather starts to get nicer!
4. V8 Supercars have their biggest race of the year at Bathurst. Fords vs Holdens. Mummy's a Ford supporter.
5. It's my birthday in October! (Oh, and Arrow's, and Zephyr's, and Bunty's too.) So we get treats! Little tins of Dine in all our favourite fishy flavours! Yeah!
If any of our friends want to play, consider yourself - tagged!

Cat-ching Up

I'm sure glad to be back yapping after Mummy's illness the last few weeks. I'm sorry not to have been able to respond to the kind wishes of Catster friends during that difficult time, but Mummy did see the messages during a couple of brief minutes on Catster before she went off-air for a few weeks and appreciates your thoughts and prayers very, very much.
Special thankyous to Taz, Teebo, Alfie, Ollie Popoki and Lily and their furmilies, what can we say, the prayers helped, and Mummy is so much better. She's still not 100 percent but she is getting along nicely.

On a happier note - AFL Footy Grand Final today! The coldest Grand Final day on record, too. The Cats vs the Saints. Mummy barracks for the Magpies who didn't make the finals (again). As she went for the Cats (Geelong) last year, and they lost, she thought she would support St Kilda (the Saints) this year. The game was neck and neck until the final quarter, but it was to be another catty year as the pussycats finally shredded the Saints. Meeee-ow!

Recovering

I'm pleased to report that Mummy is on the mend for now. She scared us bigtime the last few days. It was particularly stressful because the neighbours are away so there would be no-one close by to look after us if she had had to go to hospital, which thankfully she didn't. Thanks to our friend Craig for driving down to look after everybody and to our dear friends on Catster for their prayers.

Prayers needed

Mummy is not well, her health has taken an unexpected downturn. Not sure if and when we will be back on Catster. Please pray for us.

Three Weeks To Go

In three weeks it's going to be Spring again, hooray! Of course there are still 3 weeks of miserable winter weather to go, but today is nice and sunny. The past week has just been a miserable mix of gale force winds and rain squalls and thunderstorms. Mummy bought in some more firewood this morning. We all run and hide when the firewood truck comes. Actually, we all run and hide when anybody comes.
Next door's new puppy scared Arrow and Zephyr pretty good last night, barking at them. Mummy told it off, but I reckon it will be back. She says it's a nice dog. The Cat Jury is still out on that one! Although I must say, it is an improvement on the evil Jack Russell.

Strapping on the Water Wings

Never mind the high wind alerts - now we've had a tsunami alert! After an earthquake in New Zealand today, a tsunami alert was issued for the east coast of Australia. We can't recall ever having one before. The alert has now been downgraded to something called "marine", which apparently translates as don't go swimming. Fat chance of us going swimming in Westernport Bay at midnight in the middle of winter, so I think we should be safe!

Bad Cat - AGAIN!

The weather here has been very wintry and due to a high wind warning Mummy decided to bring in all her pot plants from the garden. (NB In Oz the term pot plant refers to a plant in a pot and is nothing to do with human 'nip!)
She looked sadly at the beans - not doing well - but was cheered by the thought of the carrot seedlings coming along nicely. As she brought in the last pot she stopped dead at the sight of the large pot in which the carrot seedlings had been - lying on its side with a mountain of potting mix spilled across the concrete and seedlings buried, crushed, destroyed - and a brown and white cat looking VERY GUILTY INDEED sitting next to it.
Well, Mummy has always maintained I am the naughtiest cat, so I'm just living up to my reputation.
I get the feeling she wasn't any too pleased though...

Yahoo! Back on line!

Yippee! Mummy has the computer back! Uncle Colin had to get a new motherboard for it. I was so excited I beat up Bunty in the heat of the moment and got into trouble. Fat tails all round. I've also been in the cupboards again but I didn't break anything this time. Arrow opened the cupboard door and I slid right inside when Mummy wasn't looking.
Now Mummy is going to help me catch up with all our friends and see how everyone is doing. I've promised Zephyr some diary time later in the week so she can write about her diet is going.

Still Broken

Mummy let me dictate a diary entry over the phone to her at work and send a few responses to the kits and doggies who have been kinid enough to send their best wishes to me and Zephyr in the last fortnight. I'm not quite caught up yet and the computer is still at my human uncle's place being examined. (Apparently the news is all bad so far.)
But I WILL catch up and just wanted to say how thrilled I was to be COTD. I had the best cuddle on the bed with Mummy while we watched fellow Aussie Simon Baker on the TV - oh yes, purr purr purr.
Then I hogged Arrow's office chair for a bit and when she tried to creep up on me on the desk nearby, she fell off with a huge crash and I got a fright, but it was worth it just to see how embarrassed Arrow was. MOL MOL
Anyway Mummy really does have to go home now (to feed us of course) - catch up soon with all our Catster friends I hope!

Bad Cat!

Yesterday Mummy came home from work and walked into the kitchen only to find a cupboard door open and two glass bowls lying on the floor- well, one glass bowl and a pile of broken glass actually.
Beats me how she knows it was me, but she says she just knows. I tried pointing the paw at Bunty, but it didn't work.
I think there could be a mouse loose in the cupboards. Mummy says to feel free to catch it, but could I try a little harder not to trash the entire kitchen in the process.
Sorry, Mum!

April Showers

The weather in Victoria this weekend has been absolutely feral. Rain, hail, sleet, gales - yuck! I mean, rain is good, but I'd prefer it not to come in sideways.
So I have been dropping in and out of the Pen Paws group this weekend as they are having their annifusary pawty. It's a great group and a great pawty! If you're not already a member, check it out! If you are make sure you get along there today.
Pen Paws

More Dogs!

The bitch next door has had ten pups. Just what we need around here - more dogs!!! Aaargh!
Mummy says if they get under her gate and trash her vegetables she's going to be really mad. I will be, too - trashing the vegetables is MY job. And they better not touch our catmint seedlings.
Latest report is that they are starting to open their eyes. They can come over here and open their eyes if they like - the first thing they will see is me unsheathing my claws - ka-ching, ka-ching, ka-ching!
Probably the second thing they will see is Arrow's bum as she runs away, mol mol mol.

Never Let Your Human Get a Good Night's Sleep

We cats love to sleep as we all know, but I'm convinced it's not good for humans. They need to be busy doing stuff for us, that's what keeps the world going around. Fur instance, here is how we deal with our Mummy and stop her from sleeping too much:
When Mummy goes to bed, Bunty gives a cry of delight and jumps on top of her. She then proceeds to knead a bit and lies on top of Mummy like a housebrick so that Mummy can't get comfortable.
As Mummy finally begins to drift off to sleep, Arrow goes to the door and plucks at it with her claws. Pluck - pluck - meow - pluck; she does this until Mummy gets up and lets her out.
Probably around three o'clock, if things are too quiet Bunty will get up and bang the doors on the kitchen cupboard until Mummy lets her out too.
Around five o'clock, Mummy will be roused out of a deep sleep by the sound of Zephyr digging around in the kitty litter and chucking it all over the floor. She goes on doing this for about fifteen minutes. She spends so long in the litterbox that Mummy says she's gonna bang a nail into the wall and hang a few magazines on it.
At about seven am I go to the side of Mummy's bed and poke her in the face with my paw to get her up so she can go to work and earn money to buy us Feliway and cat food.
Managing a human is easy when you know how.

I will NOT be the Beta Cat!

Zephyr has been pushing me around lately. She thinks that she is the Alpha Cat. I have been very sad about this so I am currently hogging Arrow's office chair because I can't push Zephyr off the Funky Hollow, and I have to hog something! This also gives me the satisfaction of beating a tattoo on Arrow's head every time she tries to reclaim the chair.
Mummy has still got all the cat carriers laid out on the spare bed. What's going on? Are we going to the vet or what? She said something about emergency bushfire plans. We had a fire nearby on the highway last night. It's so dry, we have had to buy in water as the water tank ran dry on Wednesday night. You should have seen the size of the tanker that brought the water. The guy backed it all the way down the driveway between the houses and the flowerbeds, all of which he fortunately missed. He also missed the Dogs Next Door, even though the borderline collie was trying to bite the tyres. Duh, how silly can you get?

Fires Burn Out of Control

Today the temperature topped last week's efforts with 46.4, which is around 115.5 Fahrenheit. With little or no rain in recent weeks, the whole state of Victoria is a tinderbox. Fanned by raging winds, fires are burning out of control all over the state. Already people have lost their homes and in some cases their lives. No doubt some of these fires have been started by some sick, warped individuals.
There is a possibility Melbourne may lose power, as one fire is near the power plant. We are not in any danger here at the moment but we are praying for those in peril.
The weather is tipped to take a turn for the better soon which will hopefully aid the firefighters in getting things under control.

Beam Me Up To Orkney, Scotty!

We're having a heatwave, as the song goes. And not just any old heatwave, but an absolute rip-snorter. Not only is it the longest-lasting in our state since 1908, but yesterday was the hottest Melbourne day on record. The hottest ever! The temperature hit 45 degrees C, or 113.2 Fahrenheit. OMC.
Of course there are parts of Australia that do get much hotter for longer, but this is quite enough for us, thank you! We want Mummy to take us all to my namesake island, Orkney, at the northern tip of Scotland, where it's nice and cold. Wish she could just beam us all up there right now!

I'm in the Wars Too

I can't believe Mummy let Arrow and Zephyr write in their diaries and was going to furget about me. Am I not the Alpha Cat, and is my word not law in this household?
Arrow's getting all the sympathy as usual, but I need a bit too. I spent all day outside today. Mummy always calls me in before she leaves for work, and I always wait until she gives up and backs the car out, then I rush out of the garden, run to the door and make Mummy get back out of the car to let me inside. Well I didn't make it this morning, and I must have fallen asleep in the sun. It was 38 degrees today (that's hitting the ton for all you Fahrenheiters) and I got sunburned on my face. Ow, ow, ow. Luckily I don't have a pink nose.

Orkney the Astronaut

Hope all our furry and human friends had a great Christmas. And yeah, we did get some turkey. Gobble, gobble (that's Zephyr, not the turkey).
Gearing up for the New Year now - I can't believe Mummy posted the results of her Dogster "What Breed Are You" test on my page. She's a Borderline Collie (MOL), just like two of the DND's (Dogs Next Door). I can't imagine Gyp next door as an astronaut though, maybe he would be the guy who makes the coffee for the NASA space programmers or something. Well, at least Mummy isn't a Jack Russell, I don't think we could stand that.
Mummy says she is going to make resolutions again this year. I resolve to be nicer to Tara - ah, no, I've changed my mind, I don't resolve any such thing. I resolve to continue my reign as the Alpha Cat! I reckon I'd be a good astronaut, better than that D-O-G outside!

The Orkster Reflects

I told Mummy I wanted to write in my diary, and she said, but Orkney, you have nothing to say. Huh! I always have PLENTY to say. A lot of it consists of "Mummy, get up out of bed and feed us", but I say other things too. Such as, Mummy, here is a lovely dead mousie just for you. She was over the moon about my little gift.
Apparently there is not going to be any turkey for Christmas this year because the humans are dining out. Well, maybe Mummy will make another attempt at a gingerbread house, but that sure ain't turkey.
I hope the weather warms up for Christmas, it has been unseasonably cold and we are all fed up. What's with this lighting the fire in December, huh? Ridiculous! We might have our first ever white Christmas! I hope not.
Mummy got Arrow to pose in the Christmas hat this year, but fortunately for Arrow the bluetooth is out of order again and the photo won't upload onto the computer.
Memo to self: hide Christmas hat before Mummy attempts to make me pose with it on.

Cup Fever

We've had Footy Finals Fever, now it's Melbourne Cup Fever! Tomorrow is the world's biggest handicap race and we're all geared up to watch it with Mummy because Cup Day is a public holiday in Melbourne and surrounding areas. There are horses from all over, from France, Ireland, England and New Zealand, as well as the locals. Mummy will probably lie on the bed to watch and we can knead all over her while she cheers on her selection. Hope she does better at picking the winner than she did in the footy finals. We could be having prawns for dinner!

It's (Apparently) Not Easy Being a Human

Mummy went to the dentist again last week. She says it's kind of like going to the vet, except the dentist doesn't give you worm pills and a thermometer in a bad place. I thought that sounded pretty mild, but she came home moaning and holding her jaw and she's been doing it ever since. She spent four days in bed and we nursed her devotedly, except for Zephyr whose idea of nursing is to lie on top of Mummy and cut off the circulation to various extremities. Anyway Mummy says the dentist pulled out a tooth and she has had so many pain pills and antibiotics since that her liver is about to come out waving a white flag.
I think Mummy should eat more crunchies to help clean her teeth so she doesn't have to get them pulled out. I left her a few in my bowl, but so far she hasn't taken the hint.

Time to pad up!

Footy season is over and the Cats lost! Mummy says next year will be the Magpies' year anyway. Zephyr and Arrow have their black and white jerseys all ready. Me? I'm gonna pad up for cricket season now. I have a great hook shot! Mummy will bowl to me and Zephyr can be wicket-keeper - she's pretty hard to get past. Tara can do the umpiring, but just remember, wussbag - any dodgy decisions and I'm gonna get you!

FOOTY FINALS FEVER! GO CATS GO!

It's the Aussie Football League's Grand Final weekend, and who's gonna win?
Geelong! The Cats! Go Pussies! GO GO GO!
They are playing the Hawthorn Hawks, but we all know that cats eat birds, don't we!!!
(Mummy actually barracks for Collingwood, but they didn't make it to the finals...again...MOL...)
so we're all gonna barrack for the CATS! GO CATS!

No F-f-feliway blues

I got those no f-f-feliway blues
Oh Lordy that's my excuse
For having a massive fight with Zephyr
Who still can't win, the big fat heifer!
Crikey, I should go on Australian Idol and yap my way into the top 12.

We are all out of sorts. Mummy thought we were managing nicely without the Feliway, but it has all exploded into catty action the last few days. There has been stoushing. Zephyr and Bunty had a brawl which resulted in a broken glass light fitting (don't know how they managed that) and a few battle scars on the Wide Load's face. Even Arrow, normally the neutral one, has had a bit of a swipe at her sisters when they tried to get on the Funky Hollow simultaneously. I get to chase Tara all over the place and wrestle Zephyr into submission. Poor Bunty is now so stressed she's doing very bad things on the carpet. Mummy is stressed too. She says she can't afford the Feliway because she has to save up for our annual vet visits - hey, wait a minute! What annual vet visits? Awww, is it that time again?
Noooooooooo!

Freedom

Mummy's neighbours are away and she is looking after all the animals on the place, including the DND's (dogs next door). She locks them in their pens at night and that means we get to roam free all over the property without being chased by Mr Rude Boy Jack Russell and the Borderline Collies (MOL). I can parade up and down in front of their pens and they can't do a thing. Oh, the intoxicating freedom! A pity it can't last....

Spring has Sprung - new coats on the way

We're into our first week of Spring here, although it's still pretty cool at night. Mummy is delighted 'cause she HATES winter. Hates coming home in the dark and fussing around with the log-splitter starting the fire and shivering until it cranks up the heat. Hates bits of firewood and chips and sawdust everywhere on the carpet. Hates shelling out all that money for firewood! Yep, she hates winter.
Today she got the Appaloosa out and took his rug off and brushed his coat. Apparently he enjoyed it immensely. Mummy looked like she'd been in a snowstorm when she finished. Sometimes she does it to us with the Zoom Groom but generally we're not too keen on it. I keep my short velour coat spick'n'span so she never has to do me. Tara can get a bit scruffy sometimes and Zephyr too 'cause she's too fat to reach a lot of places, so they get groomed. And of course Arrow gets a lot of hand grooming because she sits on Mummy so much. Her coat is very thick and soft and Mummy just loves stroking it. She can tell us apart in the dark by how our fur feels.

Cold Turkey again

It's happened again - the Feliway dispenser is on E for empty, and I can feel a great whirlwind of energy and naughtiness building up inside me...hehe...
It wasn't I who barfed on the carpet last night though - and we know it wasn't Arrow or Bunty because they were out - and it wasn't Tara because she was on Mummy's bed with me (blech - sharing the bed with the wussbag).
So it must have been Zephyr. And wasn't Mummy delighted this morning when she trod in it. That's given me a good excuse to grind Zephyr's head into the carpet a few times. Heh heh heh.

Cat-ching up

It's been weeks since Mummy let me write in my diary. She says she's been too busy working. She lets me log on for long enough to do my trivia tournaments, then she logs me off again. Well HAHA now she has to clean about 600 messages out of her group mail because she's been so slack. I want to apologise to the anonymouse kitties who sent us the blue rosettes, we haven't even had a chance to do anything about those, and to Bo who tagged me about 2 weeks ago to tell 5 things I don't like. Well, number one is easy!
1. Tara, the sad sack black wussbag
2. DNDs (the Dogs Next Door)
3. Running out of Feliway
4. Visitors
5. Zephyr making a bid for the alpha cat position.
And as usual Mummy is so hopeless she can't decide who to tag so invites any furriends to join in should they feel so inclined.
So apologies to all the kitties who may think I have furgotten them - I most certainly haven't. We are all a bit sad because we have missed a lot of Catster pawties but Mummy is just hopeless at getting up on the weekend when she's been working. Hopeless! Anyway, Mummy's current contract runs out next Friday and she says she needs another job right away as we will probably run out of Feliway again this week.
She's going to kick me off Catster again for now because she's going out tonight for Grandpaw's birthday. Hope she remembers to let me and Bunty do our trivia tonight!

We're out of Feliway!

Mummy can't get us any more Feliway for a little while and some of us are going a bit nuts, especially me. I am the hyper-alpha-cat! Gotta run around the house like a loony! Gotta get on the kitchen cupboards! Gotta knock things all over the floor! Gotta get in the pantry! Gotta get my share of the Purina blankie! Gotta knead Mummy! Gotta scare the living daylights out of Tara! Gotta pound Zephyr's fat head into the carpet! Gotta wrestle Arrow! Gotta play in the sink! Gotta shove Bunty off the Funky Hollow! Gotta gotta gotta gotta um um um
I gotta take a breather!
Mummy, get some more Feliway quickleeeee, I don't know how long I can keep this up before I go into total meltdown!

Orkney's Mummy here - I don't know how long I can stand it either.

Tagged

Jobel from the Manx Mansion in Ottawa has tagged me to name 6 things I like.
I like:
1. Scaring Tara - mwahaha!
2. Stealing food
3. The new Purina cat blankie - it's mine! Mine! Mine!
4. Catching mice
5. Being the boss of all the cats
6. Diving into the kitchen cupboards when Mummy opens the doors to get something.

I'm not going to name any particular 6 kitties, but invite anyone who would like to join in to consider yourself....TAGGED!

Orcadian weather

Mummy and I like to watch the webcams on my namesake island, which of course is off the coast of Scotland. Sometimes the weather up there looks pretty feral, at least in the colder months. Right now, on the opposite side of the world at the southern end of Australia, we are having some rather Orcadian weather ourselves - the wind is lashing the trees and there is squally rain. And it's so cold! We can't believe how awful it is, so we keep going outside to see if anything has improved, then of course we whinge to come back in when it hasn't. We jump all over Mummy with our cold damp fur and icy little paws. She loves it! No, really, she does!
She's gonna be so sad next week when she goes back to work and can't be here to cater to our every whim. :(

Tara thinks she's so cool

Tara is just getting bolder and bolder. Now she has taken to lying on top of the Funky Hollow. This is the first time she has done this since Mummy brought the hollow home.
Of course, I will shove her off when she least expects it (evil Orcadian cackle).

Home Alone

We had a strange night on Tuesday - Mummy left the house Tuesday evening and didn't come home late until the next afternoon! So we couldn't knead on her or squash her diaphragm or push her over to one side of the bed. It just didn't feel right having no Mummy to snuggle up to. She said she had to go to the human vet surgery and have an operation.
Anyway, as soon as she came home we all got into bed and made up for lost time.
And just for the record, we were very good kitties and took care of the house while Mummy was away. But we sure like it better when she's here.

What's the Story with Tara?

Mummy went to the pet shop to buy a new container of cat food. They had a freebie offer going so she came home with a new cat blankie which she spread out on the bed for us. Of course I was first on; had a bit of a knead, then a snooze on it, and now it's mine.
The next day I jumped up on the bed to get on my blankie. Tara was nearby, not quite on the blankie, so we had a bit of a stare and a glare before I turned around a few times, had a knead and went to lie down. And just as I was settling in, Tara reached over and poked me in the rump with her grotty little smoky black paw. The nerve! I don't know what's got into her - oh yes I do, far too much Feliway for her own good. Next time she pokes me in the butt with her paw, I'm gonna deck her. You just see if I don't!

The Slave is Still Here

Mummy hasn't got another job yet so she's still home to do our bidding and cater to our every whim. Plus now she has to go out and give medicine to the Appaloosa for his crook leg. She has got some huge needles she has to give him once a day. If I saw one of those coming for me I would be out of here like a shot, so to speak - MOL MOL MOL!
Mind you, every time I go out lately I seem to encounter the DNDs (Dogs Next Door) so then I have to turn around and demand to come in again. The Slave always obliges.
One of my favourite tricks is to sit outside the front door looking pitiful, and when the Slave comes over and opens the door I do a sideways flip and run off into the garden. It's so funny to see her face!

Another Vet Bill

Mummy is tearing her hair out. She hasn't been able to get any work for the last week and it's looking very lean for the coming week as well. She's had to go to the human vet herself and has several big fat bills for that. On top of it all, now she's going to have to call the vet out, but not for one of us cats, just for a change. MOL!
She has a big creature that lives outside in a paddock; it looks like a giant Dalmatian. She calls it an Appaloosa. Occasionally when she's not thinking clearly she gets on top of it and lets it run around, although I haven't seen her do this for a while. (Boy, I'm sure glad I don't have to do that!)
Anyway, it must have got bored, and it stuck its leg through the fence, and has peeled off a lot of flesh. Here comes another vet's bill.
She's not happy, I can tell.
I'm glad I'm not an Appaloosa, because then I wouldn't be able to sleep on Mummy's bed, although if I were a horse I could probably kick Zephyr quite a long way the next time she makes one of her abortive bids for leadership.

Tagged!

Our friend Puddles from Texas has tagged all of us to tell 5 facts about ourselves. So now we all have diaries!
Here are my 5 facts:

1. Yes, I AM the alpha cat, although I'm the smallest.
2. I got my name after Mummy stuck a pin into a map of Scotland.
3. There IS an Orkney Cat Protection Society. Mummy says I should become a patron! MOL
4. I am the most mischievous of all Mummy's cats, and am particularly fond of climbing into cupboards and stealing food.
5. I have tabby markings on my head, but not on my body. Mummy thinks I might have a bit of Abyssinian in me.

Well, the others have passed onto me to tag 5 more kitties, so I'm off to find some.

The Slave

Mummy is working for a temp agency now and sometimes she gets time off between assignments. We've had her at home all week and it's been really good. We can come and go 24/7! She will settle in for a good read and one of us will want to go outside. Then someone else will want to come in. Someone will get up on the desk and push a few pens onto the floor so Mummy can pick them up. Then whoever just went out will change their mind and want to come in again, and a minute later someone else will decide to check out the great outdoors. Even Tara has been in and out a few times.
Arrow has got the art of chair stealing down to a fine art now. She will wait until Mummy is in her office chair at the computer, and ask to go out. Mummy will get up, go to the door and Arrow will run to the office chair and jump on. The office chair swivels, so when Arrow jumps on it goes around and she just hangs on and goes with it! She's the only one of us to have mastered this complicated manoeuvre. Although I have tried it a few times I don't really like the sensation. I like Mummy to hold the chair still for me.
It's good having a slave!

Long Weekend

Mummy has had a busy long weekend. Friday morning she was going to get up and go to an Anzac Day dawn service, and I am ashamed to say that when she awoke it was cold and we were all cuddled up and she didn't go. So we watched the service at Gallipolli on the television. Mummy told us her late grandpaw fought in the First World War and she is very proud of him and all the soldiers who fought for our freedom.
Yesterday she was running around all morning, then our friend Craig came over and they went out in the afternoon and didn't come back for HOURS. Apparently the nice people next door (the ones with the dogs) got married and they had a big pawty. (I wish I had been there, I hear there was lots of turkey and stuff.) So we were inside for a long time and of course we all went nuts when Mummy got home. We went outside at 2 am and Mummy fell asleep and we didn't get to come back in until 9 o'clock this morning. So wussy Tara had Mummy's bed all to herself last night.
Mummy could hardly move today - too much dancing, she said. When she finally let us log on to Catster she discovered that I was a Daily Diary pick for yesterday, and I didn't even know! MOL! Thank you to all those kitties who read my diary and sent me nice messages.

A Scary Day

It's always scary when Mummy gets up early on a Saturday. We knew something was afoot! Then out came the vacuum cleaner, how we hate that vacuum monster. We all went into hiding until she turned it off. We had just relaxed and started sauntering around outside when Mummy had a visitor. We all (not counting Tara the wussbag) hid in the garden, except for Zephyr who grabbed the screen door and started rattling it frantically with her paws. Mummy took pity on her and let her in. Then MORE visitors came! And finally the man with the firewood truck dumped half a tonne of wood in the driveway. I decided to take a stroll in the paddocks until all the people left, but then I was chased by that pesky Jack Russell from next door. I shinned up the fence and leapt into the garden with a tail the size of a toilet brush. Mummy laughed at me and I took off again. Hmmph!
Everyone is OK now except Arrow who has not been seen since this morning. Arrow is very timid with strangers and probably won't appear until later this evening. At least we know she won't be attacked by the big tom since Mummy trapped him. Apparently we are not the only neighbourhood cats who have been carted off to the vet with war wounds after encountering him. The lady around the corner has a cat who had her face shredded - not very nice at all.
Well, I'm having a rest now. I sure hope Arrow comes home soon.

Pawty Games! - and a sad story

We had the most fun the other night, we played Pass the Parcel, also known as Musical Mice. It was a real family affair played outdoors and inside, much to Mummy's horror when Arrow passed the parcel to Zephyr by dropping it on the kitchen floor. The parcel ran behind the desk and Zephyr cornered it for the next hour, chirping and squeaking. Now we know what those funny noises are she made in her sleep - mouse-hunting noises!
On a sadder note, Mummy has not been able to discourage the local tom from coming around and assaulting us, so she decided to try to trap it. She got a cage from the council and set it with cat food. Of course none of us would go near the cage - who wants a trip to the vet! Isn't that what happens when you get in a cage? Uh, except that cat food was kind of tantalising - so I crept in there - and SNAP! Mummy had trapped her own cat. Was I embarrassed or what?! I was only in there for about a minute but Mummy laughed at me quite a lot so I sulked for a bit.
Well later that day Mr Tom came by and SNAP! Another one in the cage, the right cat this time.
We can only hope that Mr Tom's owners, if he has any, will claim him and keep him on their property. I can't imagine he would want to come back here after being trapped.
Mummy feels bad about taking this action, but he has been attacking and scaring us for nearly five years now and the vet visits are getting more frequent. She loves us and hates to see us stressed and in pain.

Fur Heaven's Sake, Zephyr!

Last night I was sleeping peacefully on Mummy's bed. Even Mummy was sleeping peacefully (she's a terrible insomniac). Gradually we were both awakened by this bizarre squeaking noise. It went on and on and on! Mummy sat up and looked around for the source and saw Zephyr on top of the Funky Hollow, sitting up and looking sort of surprised. I swear, that cat was talking in her sleep and even woke herself up!
If she doesn't fermez la bouche tonight there's gonna be some fur flying - I gotta get my beauty sleep.

Memories - An Old Friend

Mummy's friend Michael came over today. We haven't seen him for such a long time. Usually we are very shy with visitors but Zephyr and I gave him headbutts after he had been here a while because we recognised him. He looked after us once when the kittens were little and Mummy had to go to Sydney for work. The children were tiny then and we also had Warf and Kelly-Marie. Warf now lives somewhere else and Kelly-Marie went to live with Michael but sadly went missing when he moved house. Arrow was the biggest kitten and used to purr her head off at the drop of a hat. She's much shyer now. Bunty was much the same (peeing everywhere - no change there) and Zephyr was the oddest-looking kitten you ever saw. She had a head like a squash. Mummy used to tell her a story about a duckling, I think it was an ugly one. I can't remember what happened in the end but there was a lot of birdies in it so it was a good story.

We are naughty cats

I haven't been logged onto Catster for 2 weeks! Mummy is looking for a new job and she says if she doesn't find one we will have to catch mice for tea. Zephyr has got one under the fridge right now. She has been sitting there for hours waiting for it.
Bunty has been a bad girl again. She peed in Mummy's handbag. Mummy took her to the vet and the vet said she has an inflamed urinary tract due to stress. (Mummy grumbled that she's the one who ought to be stressed, with no job and all these vet bills.)
Mummy thinks that Bunty is stressed because Arrow has been hogging the bed and the chair since SHE went to the vet after having the donnybrook with the tom. Bunty likes to imagine the bed is hers. Actually, we all know it's MINE!
Zephyr managed to add to Mummy's woes by sitting on the desk and throwing up into the open desk drawer. I have been a good girl though, except I did chase Tara before, MOL MOL oh, I shouldn't laugh. Now I am going to curl up at Mummy's feet and have a snooze.

That's My Kid!

Arrow has been playing the sympathy card for all it is worth, limping out from under the bed to sook all over Mummy. She almost overplayed the hand last night though when Mummy discovered her with her face in a bowl of human tuna and rice. But she played the sore leg trump and Mummy had to forgive her, although she did wonder how Arrow got on the bench when she can't seem to make it onto a chair at the moment without falling on her butt.
Yep, that's my kid!

Arrow Takes A Beating!

Poor old Arrow missed tea last night, and she came in a couple of hours later on three legs. Mummy was horrified and bundled her into the cat cage for a trip to the emergency vet clinic. The vet said she has probably been in another stoush with the dreaded tom that tried to decapitate me in his jaws last year. According to Mummy, Arrow was not nearly as brave as I was at the vet. She had to hide under Mummy's mink blankie the whole time. Feeble, Arrow, feeble! Is she really my child? Still, at least she has the guts to stand up to that tom, unlike someone else I could name...someone whose name begins with Z....
Anyway, it seems to be only soft tissue damage, nothing broken. The vet gave Arrow a pain killer and a sedative and she spent the day under the bed. We think she'll be OK.

It's a Rumble!

I was just snoozing away on top of the Funky Hollow when I heard a noise from outside. It started like a meow and then it rose to a cacophony! Mummy jumped up and opened the door, and there was the big black and white tom that tried to bite off my head last year. With no thought for my own safety I ran outside, but there was Arrow, ready to stoush and defend our home! She was fluffed up to twice her usual size. I think she got in a couple of good right hooks. The tom decided that things were getting too hot around here and he took off. About a minute later Zephyr appeared and offered to help. Yeah, good on ya, Zephie, you big coward.

Long Long Weekend

We have the Australia Day long weekend coming up, and Mummy broke the computer AGAIN! The Blue Screen of Death has returned. How are we going to get through three days with no Catster? (Sob)
I am also a bit down at the moment because my face got scratched. But I have found if I sit quietly and put on a really sad face Mummy gets all soppy and keeps giving me lots of attention.

Busted And Broken!

Mummy has got the computer going again, now it's my turn to break something. I broke my New Year's Resolution not to annoy Tara. I couldn't help myself. Ever since Tara was terrorised by the carpet cleaner and spent the day outside, she has had tickets on herself. She marches around the house going meow, meow, prrgung, brrr, meow. She even used our litter tray. It drove me nuts! Last night she was on the computer desk, weaving around so I came out from behind the sofa and fixed her with the most evil stare I have at my command, the Baby-Faced Assassin Death Ray. She went grrr at me and bolted for safety with me in hot pursuit.
Boy, did that feel good!

Busted

Mummy can't leave well enough alone. She HAD to fiddle with the computer last night and now she's broken it. It just keeps coming up with the Blue Screen of Death every time she tries to boot up. I told her she had to transcribe my diary entry while she is at work earning money to buy us cat food. Although she said after she discovered cat barf on the kitchen bench this morning that she is re-thinking the whole cat food issue....it wasn't me, honestly, was it, BUNTY?
Things are pretty quiet at home, but Zephyr is starting to worry me, she keeps playing with the catnip toys all the time, and believe me she is one cat who doesn't need any encouragement to roll around and look goofy.

Not a Good Day.

Yesterday was so hot, and Mummy got up early and started to remove all the furniture from the house. Arrow stayed in the shed the whole time. Zephyr thought maybe we were moving and ran into the walk-in wardrobe. Tara hid in her cardboard box until Mummy took it outside as well, so Tara dived into the bottom of the linen cupboard with Bunty. They both watched in horror as a strange man came in with a big steaming metal stick and started to rub it over the carpet. Tara fled into the front bedroom crying. I mean, I know she's a wuss but even I felt sorry for her. The man followed her with the stick and a big bottle of water he kept using to spray around the floor so she jumped up again and ran outside. I've never seen her do that! She hid amongst the furniture for hours on the patio, getting hotter and hotter. It was 41 degrees Celsius. Mummy tried to coax Tara out but she ran into the cat house that the nice man next door built for us and crouched in there for hours!
I did a few inspections (raided the food bowls) and the house was still kind of empty, although Mummy's bed was back so I figured nobody was moving. It was a warm night so I went up to the front gate with the rest of the girls and hung out where we can't usually go because of the DOGS owned by the people next door.
Then - wouldn't you know it - a car pulled up at the gate. And there they were, slobbering at the window. The dogs, I mean, not the humans. THE DOGS ARE BACK!

A Dog Free Zone!

Happy New Year everbody. I have made a resolution not to annoy Tara so much, and so far I have kept it (because it's too hot to bother). In fact Tara has been walking up and down in front of me inciting me to riot all afternoon, and I have nobly resisted all temptation.
Next door people have gone away, and they have taken the dogs with them. I don't like dogs much (except my Dogster friend AJ who sent me a beautiful star - he is so COOL.)
So the whole property is currently a dog-free zone, and we can wander where we like! I might pop over next door later and see if I can get into the garage and have a little snooze on the red MG - MOL!

Boxing Day Thoughts

It's Boxing Day now, and we have had a lovely Christmas. Santa Claws brought us some catnip toys and Mummy got us some nice tins of Dine in our favourite flavour, and we had some turkey! And of course I licked all the bowls on the bench when Mummy wasn't looking.
Now I would like to purr a prayer for all the homeless kitties who are not as fortunate as us and hope that they find a furever home where they can be loved as much as we are.
I also want to purr a prayer for kitties who have been mistreated. It is a sad fact that some humans are mean to cats. Sometimes this is ignorance and we can hope for these people to learn and be enlightened about what wonderful loving friends we can be to the human race.
Well, that's enough profundity from the Orkster for today. I have had a lovely roll in the dust outside so my white bits are all grey, and now I am going to have a snooze on the mat at the front door.
Peace and tranquillity to all.
Zzzzzz.......

Washed out!

It has been raining and raining here. Yesterday there was water pouring in the kitchen window! Mummy doesn't have any firewood so we have to snuggle up (purr, purr). Even Arrow has been spending a lot of time inside, and she's such an outdoorsy cat, except when she's sooking all over Mummy.
The Fox has been foiled, they have fixed a floor to the chook pen so he can't get up under there to steal the chooks. We all sleep a lot easier in our beds now.
Mummy has got us something for Christmas, I'm sure... I wonder what it is?

The Crime Wave Continues

No, I'm not referring to the night when the Jack Russell next door woke Mummy up yelping at 2.30 am...and when she looked out she saw me sauntering in from the direction of next door's garage, where he keeps that shiny red MG he loves so much, the one he found little catty paw prints on. Forensics were not able to make a match, thank g - er, unfortunately.

These latest crimes are wicked! Slumbering chickens, cruelly taken from their beds by the evildoer they call...."the Fox". Arrow claims not to have seen or heard anything, she was asleep in the shed as usual. The rest of us were inside hogging Mummy's bed, leaving her a good three inches on the very edge, jeepers I don't know why she says she wants more space, but that's another story.

Anyway, the cheek of this villain knows no bounds. Two more chooks taken several nights after the first crime, while the Jack Russell nearly burst his seams barking! (Bit of a hypocrite, that dog, seeing as he once pulled a chook apart just to see what it was made out of. Chicken of course, you dopey dog!)

I'll keep you posted....

The Mystery of the Red MG

Mummy says little catty paw prints have been found on next door's red MG! We say we're not guilty, we wouldn't go over there because of the DOGS. Apparently they are going to call in the wonders of forensic science and compare the paw prints to our paws to see if we are guilty. My number one suspect would be the huge tom who came around about six months ago and nearly crushed my skull in his jaws. He has had it in for me since I moved here as a tiny kitten. He is jealous of our nice house and our wonderful Mummy.
Mummy is not fully convinced of our innocence, I can tell... Tara is off the hook as she seldom goes past the front door, and Zephyr is unlikely to drag her stomach that far. Arrow is so scared of dogs she spent all day stuck on the top shelf in the shed last week, too frightened to come down, so she isn't on top of the suspect list either. As for me and the Buntster, well, let's see if forensic science can absolve us of all blame!

Payback time

Poor Mummy, she woke up this morning to find hacked-up furballs all over the carpet, and someone had also...well, done something not good on Mummy's desk. But no-one can blame me because I was outside mousing all night. I bet the furballs are Tara's, or maybe Barfing Bunty's. As for the desk - well, Bunty is the number one suspect. Mummy says it's very suspicious that Bunty was not on the bed when she woke up. Bunty ALWAYS sleeps on Mummy's bed.
Maybe it was payback for the poodle episode. Still, I'm very cross with Bunty because I brought up my children to use the litter tray, not Mummy's papers.

Speaking of payback, Zephyr is also nursing some scratches on her face today. She has to understand that I am the Alpha Cat. Don't mess with the Baby-Faced Assassin!

Dog Action

I can't believe Mummy - she had people over today and one of them brought one of those pants-sniffers! Into My house! What a cheek, it ate out of our bowls and drank our water. They said it was a Toy Poodle. I thought about using it as a squeaky toy, but decided that was beneath my dignity, so I stayed outside. Poor Tara, Bunty and Zephyr were trapped inside with it. Luckily they had the good sense to hide. Mummy tried to introduce Bunty to it. Mummy is now nursing a big scratch on her arm, serves her right.