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Orkney's Yappings

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Flying Free at The Bridge

January 2nd 2016 5:50 pm
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I went to the Rainbow Bridge today. Mummy and the Dog Guy took me to the vet so that I could go peacefully and be in no more pain or discomfort.
I have handed the reins of Alpha Cat to my 2IC Zephyr. I hope she does a good job. I'll be watching!
Mummy is missing me terribly already, but knows she has done the best thing. I am now buried in the garden I loved so much and my spirit will always be with Mummy.


At Last, A Diary Entry

December 6th 2015 9:41 pm
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My ineffectual human finally worked out how to write a diary entry for me, since the buttons at the tops of the pages don't seem to work any more. To be fair to her, I have kept her busy lately going backwards and forwards to the vet. I wasn't eating much and she thought I might be having tooth trouble. She was right and I had to have three teeth removed. I seemed to be recovering well from the operation to begin with, but then things went downhill and I had to go back for a blood test which showed that I have hyperthyroidism. Now I have to have two tablets a day for this, and if you think my human is inept at working Catster, well you should see her with a pill popper.
Still things kept going downhill as I would not eat. Mummy tried every different kind of food to no avail. Finally she took me back to the vet and they gave me some pills to stimulate my appetite, which is really good because I have told Mummy that I can only eat Fancy Feast, so I have my own tin of it twice a day. Mummy is tearing her hair out every meal time. Zephyr has her Black Hawk in the main bedroom. Bunty has Black Hawk in the kitchen and Arrow has grain-free Black Hawk in the kitchen too. I have my Fancy Feast and my pill in the back bedroom. She says it's like organising a military operation.
Note to Australian Defence Force: The aforegoing notwithstanding, do NOT let Mummy organise any military operations.
Anyway, apparently I am stuck with this hyperthyroid thing for life unless I have radioactive iodine therapy. Mummy says that we will have to wait and see.


Vet visit

September 30th 2014 5:24 am
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Mummy came home from work tonight, put me in the portajail and hauled me off to the vet. I'd been having some minor waterworks problems so she wanted to have me checked out. The vet thinks it may be idiopathic cystitis, so I have had a shot (boo! hiss!) and I have to take some medicine (more boo! hiss!). It's Meloxicam and the vet says it tastes nice. I asked Zephyr, and she said don't believe everything the vet says, it tastes pretty ordinary. But I have to keep up my fluids so Mummy says she's going to make me some chicken gravy, which will be nice.
The vet also thinks I may have to have a tooth out in the not too distant future. Hopefully that will mean more chicken gravy.


My Useless Children

May 1st 2014 7:02 am
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Mummy was so excited last week to find three dead mice (sounds like a good song title, doesn't it?) on the front doorstep. She bragged to the neighbours about what a good mouser Arrow is, but then the neighbour confessed he had trapped three mice and thrown the corpses over the fence...naughty Arrow brought them home and tried to pass them off as her own work!
Zephyr was seen lumbering around the front porch trying to catch another one - that mouse was as safe as houses, I can tell you.
And the other night Bunty spent all night hunting and didn't catch anything. Mummy was getting ready for work the next morning and she moved something and found a mouse lying underneath it. She picked it up by the tail to dispose of it and oh, horrors, it was still twitching. Not wanting it to revive and run around the house she offered it to Bunty, who stared at it for about three seconds then closed her eyes and went to sleep. It's hard work catching nothing all night.
Mummy put the mouse outside and it sat there quivering until Effie the chicken came around the corner, saw it and started tossing it around like a bull with a wounded matador. It's a sad day when my useless offspring leave catching and disposal of mice to the chicken.


Ten Years on the Internet IS a Long Time

January 16th 2014 4:34 pm
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Yes, time to build up a community, build up relationships, lovingly document our lives and give each other support and lend a helping paw. We've been here for over six years, and although we haven't been on Catster a lot over the last few months due to some human issues to be dealt with, Mummy was looking forward to getting back into the swing of things. Now we find it's all pointless, because Dogster/Catster are going to do a Miley Cyrus and come in like a wrecking ball.
You won't find us on Facebook, Catster. They are not and never have been interchangeable. You probably won't find us on Catster at all reading your magazines that you are trying so hard to promote and keep. The only times we ever went there were as a sideline to our involvement in the Catster community. You take that away, and we take us away.



March 7th 2013 3:53 am
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We're STILL having trouble converting the Dog Guy. Mummy doesn't understand how he can be so unmoved by our cuteness. I don't understand it either. Well, I can understand it with Arrow, because she really only sucks up to Mummy and no-one else, but what about me? I'm a bottomless pit of cuteness. He says it's because we don't get on his lap and behave "like a cat should". Whenever he approaches us he gets so worried about spooking us that he sort of creeps up to us slowly like he's trying to stalk us. Of course we're so spooked by this that we promptly take off!
Then one day he suggested to Mummy that if she could rent a house with a separate office, we could live in there and she could be with us when she goes into the office. That way the rest of the house would be free of litterboxes, fur, barf, stray whiskers, clawed furniture and dead mice. Mummy raised one eyebrow and looked at him. For a long time. Without speaking. At this point the Dog Guy realised the meaning of the words EPIC FAIL.


A Dog Tale

February 5th 2013 5:05 am
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Mummy slept in this morning. Nothing new there, of course, but she awoke to Zephyr frantically slapping her around the chops to wake her up. The rest of us were outside, being summer and all. When Mummy opened the door to let us in for breakfast, she was gobsmacked to see the stupid border collie from up the road sitting on our front porch, apparently attempting to engage us in conversation. Well, any cat knows that dogs talk drivel, and since we're not dog-loving cats the expression on our faces was one of sheer desperation. There are only so many stories of "Bones I have Buried" a cat can take, especially on an empty stomach. Bunty and I were fairly cross-eyed with boredom, and Arrow had slunk off around the corner to get away from this crashing bore. We were so relieved when the door opened and we could dash inside for breakfast.


Training the Dog Guy

April 11th 2012 7:24 am
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The Dog Guy's training continues slowly. He understands now that our demands to be let out or in are to be obeyed immediately. He is, however, still having difficulty grasping the concept that 50% of the bed is MINE and any attempt to prove otherwise is doomed to failure. He thinks that picking me up and depositing me on the floor will result in an uninterrupted night's sleep with plenty of room for him to stretch out, and seems puzzled when he wakes up to find I have resumed residence on my half of the bed, Mummy is occupying most of the other half and he is teetering on the edge.
I guess that hanging out with dogs doesn't really sharpen the intellect though, so I should cut him some slack. He tells Mummy about the wondrous things his dog does. Are you ready for this? Apparently his dog can climb onto a chair and perch there. Can you believe that? Something that any three month old kitten can accomplish with ease is considered brilliant when a dog does it. The dog also chews up the neighbours' dogs' bedding, which the Dog Guy then has to replace out of his own pocket. Despite this, he regards this patently imbecilic canine as the Stephen Hawking of the dog world. I think if it did an IQ test, it would be battling to score higher than a wombat. It might come out ahead of a garden slug though.


We're Lovin' the Summer Time

January 31st 2012 4:49 am
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We love the summer time; we love to lie around outside on the concrete and in the garden, and go a-hunting. Last night I brought a mouse inside and flipped it around for a bit. That was fun! Later in the evening, Arrow, Bunty and I clubbed together and got Mummy a big rat. We were so excited waiting for her to come to the door and see our surprise present!
I brought another mouse in tonight, and I let that pipsqueak Nugget play with it for a bit. Now Mummy can play a game we all enjoy: Find the Dead Mouse in the House. I wonder where the little fella put it? MOL!
We're still training the Dog Guy. He's a bit of a slow learner, but he has worked out how to get the lid off the Purina tin and fill the dipper with kibble for us. He still calls us by slapping his leg and saying "Here girl," though. I kid you not.


We've Been A Little Bit MIA

August 5th 2011 5:36 am
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I can't believe it's been nearly FOUR MONTHS since Mummy let any of us write in our diaries, and we haven't been able to keep up with all our friends' doings as much as we would like to. For this, I apologise profusely. (Seriously, we have found it more difficult since the site upgrade. Remember when you could log in straight to the community homepage and everything would pretty much be right there in front of you? We can't figure out how to do that any more and we found that the recent activity listings on the home page seemed to be all out of chronological order, which resulted in us reading the same diary entries several times over thinking they must be new ones. In the end we just found it easier to bypass the community page and go straight to our regular group if Mummy was pushed for time.)
But I didn't come here to whinge, or to detail Mummy's inadequacies (I mean, there just isn't that much space!) merely to apologise for not being present as much as I would like. Mummy's pathetic excuse for not giving me enough Catster playtime is that she has been trying to find us a Daddy. I'm not sure how she went about this, maybe she just put up a sign in the newsagent's window saying "Crazy Cat Guy Wanted". Anyway, she goofed slightly and brought us a Dog Guy. Sheesh! Doesn't she know how hard it is to convert one of those? We've put him through a few tests, but Mummy said we had to stop barfing on the carpet every time he comes over and we're working on being cute now.

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