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Thomas O'Malley, Eat Your Heart Out!

Day 2 - my memory, my mission

August 30th 2009 1:33 pm
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After departing the black and white striped stinky cat, I was not all that anxious to have another encounter before getting some rest. The alley was dark and undulating - I had to watch each step as well as remain vigilant about the presence of others. I was getting so tired...

As I walked the alley, I found an old abandoned boat with vines and leaves growing all through it... it wasn't in a "yard", but just in this rarely-used alley. I hopped in and took a good sniff- no one had been here recently - and curled up in the motor compartment in a bed of elm leaves for a nap. It had been way too much excitement for one day already, and I knew my mission for the next day would be finding my way home... or so I thought.

"I hope they are wrong about you..."

I tossed and turned in a half-conscious state.

"All that talk, that you've gone soft... right when we need you..."

I opened one eye - no one was there. A dream? I drifted back off to sleep.

"I told them not to leave you in deep cover for so long... that's how we lose all our best agents..."

I hopped into a defensive crouch. I knew I heard something... those voices? Were they real? I looked all around - nothing had stirred. Not a leaf, nor a branch. Nothing.

Troubled by what I was "hearing", I assumed the meatloaf position and started thinking. What did it mean? Agent? Going soft? I looked at my physique, bubbling out of the meatloaf - ok, soft is a possibility. I knew there was more to it... As I wracked my brain for any knowledge, I dozed off again.

"Don't forget the mission, Agent Buckley. The mission comes first."

Images flew through my head like a tasty flock of sparrows: the shelter, freeing the cats, getting caught, the euthanasia room, meowmy, a cat carrier, home in Albuquerque, chicken... CHICKEN! How could I have been so blind?

My memory came rushing back to me. I knew what I needed to do. It was time to contact Headquarters and get back on track.


Night 1 - Meeting McStinkerton

August 25th 2009 4:01 pm
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It was really dark. Excellent for hiding, but tough for navigating... especially when there’s no scent to follow. I found a big bushy tree with lots of branches and leaves and climbed up, cloaked in darkness and foliage. I rested my back and my booty into a nook, so that no one could sneak up on me, but I could still see through the thicket. I stood on guard for quite awhile, nervous and hypervigilant, but my drowsy kitty nature eventually took hold and I dozed off.... until I woke to an awful odor...
I woke with a start. How could anyone know I was here? I am a stealthy kitty! And so well hidden...
I followed my nose down to the ground and the little voice below. There, at the base of my tree, was the weirdest looking cat I had ever seen. It was black and white, but not like Hemingway, who looks like a cow, or Simon, who wore a tuxedo. This one was bushy-tailed and had a white stripe down his back. He was clearly talking to me, with beady little eyes reflecting from what little bit of light they picked up from a distant porch light.
“Umm... hi?” I replied.
“Whatcha doing up there?” Mr. Beady Eyes asked.
“Sleeping. Sitting. Why?” I responded.
He shifted his weight, after which an awful wind wafted by my nose.
“Just curious. This is my yard, you know. Gotta make sure every is who they say they are, and that they are where they are supposed to be, you know. It IS my yard...” He shifted again, seeming a little agitated.
“Oh, well, I am just here for the night, then I will be moving on, don’t you worry.” I told him confidently.
Mr. Beady squinted at me. “The NIGHT? In my yard? Why don’t you come down here, so we can, er, talk about it. Face-to-face.”
The more anxious he got, the more he... well... stank. I knew I probably wasn’t smelling like a fresh batch of scented litter or anything, but he was RIPE. I got the sense that I was as close to that funky stench as I ever wanted to be.
“I think I’d rather just stay out of your, your YARD... up here. I can see the next yard from my perch and in a hop, I’ll be out of your hair, so to speak.”
Mr. Beady McStinkerton propped his front paws up on the tree... “I’d REALLY rather you come down here, so I can see you better...” as he squinted, I tucked further and further into the leaves and laid flat against the bark. I looked for an escape route...
“I know this is YOUR yard, but is it YOUR tree? I mean, if you want to see me that badly, why don’t you come up here? There’s plenty of room...” I saw a path to the next yard, in case he called my bluff.
Stinkerton fluffed his fur and his tail went really straight. “I really didn’t want to mix with you, sir. But it is MY yard and I need to know that everyone is where they belong and who... they... are... supposed.. to... be...” With each staccato word, I knew it was time to get OUT of HIS tree and HIS yard. As I stood and jumped to the farthest branch, overseeing the back alley, that Stinkerton let out something AWFUL with that straight-up tail... I bounded away off the branch and onto the pavement opposite the yard fence just as I heard leaves rustle behind me.

I trotted at a good pace away from HIS yard and got away from HIS smell, but now where was I to go? I didn’t even have a place to hide until morning, so I could set out to find my furmily...


Day 1

August 24th 2009 3:49 pm
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Faster…. Faster….. Fast-eerrrrrrr…
I honestly don’t remember anything during that initial sprint. All I know is that I had just been pinned… by a DOG. A remarkably DUMB dog, at that. How could I expect to have any semblance of a chance of survival if a dumb dog can catch me… I was startled. Terrified. DOOMED. And all because of a dumb dog…. Then I realized - Wait! That was just Noelle. I don’t need to run anymore… Phew!

When I finally stopped hurtling everything in sight – trees, fences, bushes, cars – I took a moment perched on a rooftop to safely catch my breath and scan the scene. Lots of places to hide. Residential area. Houses. Lots of sheds and trees. But… completely unfamiliar. Hmmm… Well, I’d never had trouble finding my way back, so what’s a scenic adventure?

Following my own scent, I began to re-trace my steps. After jumping into the 1st yard, I realized my tummy was growling. All that sprinting makes a kitty quite hungry! I looked around and found a little pond/fountain, kinda like the Drinkwell at home but, er, greener. Ewww. Eh. I was a tough kitty. I could take it! I lapped up some of that slimy goodness and continued to look for food.

A few more houses down, I noticed a little box hanging from a tree. It had a hole in it, like some of my toys… It was a bird dispenser!!!! How utterly BRILLIANT!!! I hung out for a few moments, waiting for the dispenser to kick out the next bird and SNATCH! I had my snack for that afternoon. MMmmmmm…. Mommy needs to get one of those, I thought as I continued my search for home.

I continued to track my scent and then water started falling from the sky. I ducked under one of the many sheds in the area and hunkered down till the water stopped. It took soooo long… There were flashes of light, and loud noises and it even started to pool in my little dry spot under the shed! When the water was falling a little lighter, I slipped into a crack into the shed, up off the ground and nice and dry. I curled up and fell fast asleep.

When I woke, the water had stopped, but it was dark. I couldn’t see anything unless it moved. That was okay… I best keep myself stealth when it is dark, being a black kitty and all. However, I concluded it was time to get to the business of going home. I went out of the shed and back to the yard in order to pick my scent back up and head home… but wait! It was gone! All I could smell was damp earth. Nothing else.

No me… no home. I was officially lost.


Before the tales, I must say thank you...

August 22nd 2009 12:15 pm
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So many kitties have been purring for my safe return, I feel it is imperative to take this public forum to say thank you. There have been so many well-wishes that I cannot list everyone, but purrlease know that every note, every purr, every comment, every rosie, every star, every facebook message - all have kept mommy strong through this. I couldn't get to a computer these last couple of months, but mommy explained to me that Farmington was not experiencing earthquakes - it was your PURRS I kept feeling!!!

My next entry will get into the details of my adventures, but this was too important. And so that you know - since I figured out that I am home, I have had NO INTEREST in going outside. I just want to be with mommy. Nothing else... except eat. And be with mommy... MOL!

She wants to say something:
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Buckley's mom here!

I just hope that all of you realize that you were my life line. Losing Buckley was harder than losing Simon - I knew Simon was dying and I had time to prepare with him. In the wake of losing him, Buckley became my "rock" - always there for me. Then he was gone. The guilt and sorrow were so overwhelming. Yet in my darkest moments, my catster friends were the only ones to keep the faith. You were my only support... There is no possible way to express the gratitude I feel, again, to the greatest collection of souls in the cyberworld. Please just know that when I say THANK YOU, it is from the deepest reaches of my soul. I couldn't - wouldn't - have made it through this to the happy ending if it hadn't been for your love.

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My Sabbatical is Over - I am home!

August 20th 2009 3:15 pm
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Yes, indeed - for two months I was wandering the mean streets of Farmington. Boy, do I have some tales to tell you all! Its one thing to have only known the streets, as had been my life before I found mom. But after years of being pampered, hitting the pavement with these delicate paws was an entirely different matter! I had to get my callouses back!

There is a reason that I am known as "the Ambassador", the "Diplomat", Prince Charming, Clark Gable and James Bond... I am strong, sleek, handsome and charismatic, and I prefer to use that skill over my deadlier ones... but I am an assassin at heart. I can take down two birds with one jump... so starvation was never an issue. Yes, my physique is a bit more svelte now, but that's from all the exercise...

So I am going to use this diary to spin the web of stories that comprise my last two months. However, I will start with the very beginning and the very end.

I disappeared two months ago. We had just moved to Farmington, NM from Albuquerque, NM - about 200 miles away. I was chomping at the bit to get out of the house. Noelle, my best friend and doggie sister, was a nervous wreck from the move. As mom was leaving for work that Friday, someone set off a firecracker as she opened the door. Startled, Noelle ran straight into me and pinned me against the wall next to the door with her nose. Having never been caught before, I panicked and took off out the door to get away from her... Mom chased me, but I disappeared over a wall...

Mom has spent the last 2 months searching - every night, every lunch hour, every weekend... She went to the shelter daily, set traps, searched bushes and every nook and cranny she could find, hung posters, ran ads in the paper... to no avail.

Then, last night, she got a call from a woman who told her that she noticed a black cat in her neighborhood for about a week. That wasn't unusual - there are a lot of stray cats all around the area, which is about 1/3 mile from mom's house. Then the cat started sleeping in her yard... for 2 days. That night, just before she called, she realized the cat had a collar and tag. The lady knew that NONE of the local cats had tags, and the strays obviously wouldn't, so the cat may be missing. She approached the cat, got the number and called - and was talking to my mom!

Within minutes my mom was on her doorstep. The lady was outside waiting and pointed at her backyard. Mom saw the cat's tail and outline and called out "Buckley!" and I promptly answered.

Here is where there is some dispute. Mom says I said "MOW", when I know I said "Where the heck have you been????" I guess we'll have to agree to disagree...

She decompensated into a sobbing, blubbering pile of, well, mom. She called me again and I answered again, the way we used to play "Marco Polo" back in Albuquerque. She grabbed me and squeezed out my stuffins. The nice lady, her name was Julie, said that I was hungry because she had given me a bowl of milk and I had eaten the whole thing... She refused to take the reward money that mom was offering, saying that she was just happy that the family was back together.

Mom took me home and I was very confused. The car was different, and I hadn't been in a car in a long time... then the house... how did I get there??? then all the cats... I hissed at all of them to stay away while I got my bearings.... Then this giant SNOUT came charging at me and poked me right in the gizzard! I knew that poke! NOELLE!!!!!
I instantly knew where I was, dropping my head and nuzzling with my old friend so she could lick me to death...

I was home at last.

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Christopher Buckley


Family Pets

Sampson - I'm
an angel
Squeak &
Simon, little
ing for Odie
Sarah Connor
Ziggy Stardust
Jasmine Elsa
Noelle (the
next chapter!)
Odie, mommy's


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