unner cubber....

Haz yu ebber stawted doin' fings yu haz nebber dun afore an' it make yer mommie wunner "watt up?"

Well, dah kitties dat usetah libbs here afore Olibbers an' me usetah beez dah kindah kitties dat likes to snoogle reeeeel tights up to mom. Howebber, Olibbers an' I purrrrfurrrrs to maintains sum distanz an' nut awlaways bee stickin' tah mum likes gloo.

I nut shur whys, but dah pass foo weeks I haz bin wantin' tah burrows unner mom's cubbers ebbery nite an' spoons her. I kin see dat she like dat. An' wen I duz it, she gibb me ALOTTA nice pettin' an' sweet tawkin'. An' Olibbers, he nebber ebber haz like tah burrows, so he bin curlin' ups ebber so cloze to her so she kin skweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeze hims an' sniffs hiz furrs. He berry tollerablull uv dah sqkweezin'.

So, watt I haz lerned iz dat sumtimes iffin yu duz fings dat make yer mum happies an' makez her eyes glizzen wiff joys, she wills gibbs yu xtra lubbin' an' it will makes yer harts burst wiff luvs.

Annie Moose

Some nice kitt nayme Annie Moose sended me a giftie dah udder day. Annie sedded dat she hoped my puddin' poopies was bedder. My poopies is awl bedder so fanks to ebbery kitty dat purred fer me an' my bruffur..... An' fanks fer dah giftie Annie.... Dat werr reeeeal nice.

An' I fink we haz figgured owt watt mightah cauz dem puddin' poopies. Mom t'aught fer a long time dat it mite haz bin dah new bag uv foods. But now she fink it werr sumfing else.............

Minnie Marshermeddle mightah dund it. Yesserday, mom werr finkin' uv dah night she werr dwinkin' sum hot chalkolate in beddie wish dem marshermeddles. Oliver an' I werr eatin' sum uv dem. Dey werrz deeeeeeeeeeelishus. We eated quites a foo uv dem. We dint eats whole marshameddles but bits an' peeses. Howebber, iffin' yu add ups dem bitts an' peaces.... dey mite adds up to quites a foo marshameddles...

So I sayz to mom................... DURR!!!

Dat wood be up dah butt Bob.....

Fer dah lifes uv me, I canno' unnerstand de obseshun dat hoomans habb wiff stickin' fings up cats butts wen we goes to dah v-e-t. Can a kitty ebber go dare wiffowt beein' violetted???

Oliver an' I hadded to go see Dr Kim today acuz I iz still habbin' Puddin' Poopies. Oliver, he wented mozley acuz he iz still lickin' an' sckwatchin'.

We habbent loseded enny weight, so dat be good. Owr tempiatures is nermal. All dat wrong iz Puddin' Poopies.

So we iz on sumfing cawled Pwobioktics. Both ah paste an' sum powder on sum wets foods. I kin be a bit purrrrrskikity 'bout my foods, so we will see juss how longs I tolerates dis.

Wunce agin Dr Kim tawk sweet to me an' so did Mizz Roberta. Howebber.... I dunt give wun flyin' fig iffin dey tawk sweets........... Sweet tawkers ooshually haz sum ulterior motives.

Mom sez she juss wanna put uz on a difflerent foods. Purrrtty soon she a goona do dat wiffowt dah okey fwum Dr Kim... Den yu kno' she habbed nuff foolin' round.......... her pocket book unly go so deeps!

Puddin Poopies

I still has soff poopies. Mom cawl dem Puddin' Poopies cuz dat watt dey lookie like, but I kin garrrruntees dat dey dunt smells like puddin'. I haz an in-klan-ay-shun, dat dere bee a road trips in my footure. Mom fink dat she be sooooooo smarts by cawlin' dat v-e-t fwum her mobileds phones. Den I canno' heers her... but dat v-e-t habbs a web sites an' I kin check to see watt goin' on an' I see dat dere be an 'poinment fer me an' my bruffur on Mundeys.

Now Olibber... his poopies be gittin' nermals. I twy to mix hiz an' mine so mum canno' deetermine who be who. But she smarters den she look an' she sumhow know. So toomorrows I iz agooona feed Olibber sum stwange foods so he git puddin' poopies too so he habbs to keeps hiz 'pointment on Mundeeys too. I dunt wanna goes alune to dat v-e-t. I kno' dey iz agoona takes sum bludds an' push dat sticks up my bumm. I hates dat. I will haz to shawpen me claws to shweds dem sweet tawkin' peeps at dat stoopid v-e-t offizz. I dunt care juss how sweet dey be, I fink dat dey iz berry bitters....

Maybe I will holds awl my poopies inside untils I abzoolutely haz to poopie dem owt. Den mum wunt kno' iffin dey is still puddin' or nots...

sigh...

DDP an' haz to go to skool

Today I bee a DDP!! I gotted so menny nice gweetin's an' prezzies! I iz one lukky kitty! Fank yu awl fer yer nice notes an' scentymints!

Affer mum readed awl my nice notes, she sit down wiff me and Olivers an' tell uz dat it 'bout times we learns how to spells bedder. I tell her dat iffin' we hadded one more fingers, dat we kood spells bedder. She say sum uv owr furriends iz habbin twubbles reedin' owr diarees.

So she bwing owt dah dikshunnary an' tell uz dat ebbery nite we agoona haz to learns how to spells gnu werds.

Tonite we stawt wiff "A".... like in aggwivayshun.....

I werr twicked wiff tweats....

Tooday stawted owt to be a loverly day. It quikly turn to a nitemares...... I kood sence dat derr werrz wikkednezz in dah airs...

Mom hawl owt dah yummy tweats..... I unly hadded 1 kibble an' den I werr wisk up an' owtah dah door in tah dah motors veehikle... I wunner iffin mum coodah pik a colder day den dis.. I iz not aklimated to dem coooooold winner tempurratures.

Ware we wuz goin' iz juss down dah stweet a foo blocks. But dare a stop lite betweens. Dat stop lites iz dah longess lite in histery. Wai we iz sittin' dare, mum twy to eeze my fears. It dint werk too good. I cower unner dah blankie. (He made a face with a cry that made me think if Lucy and the cute photo of her on the way to the vet.)

Dah waitin' room dint haz no udder animuls. Dat good. An' we dint haz to waits long. I werr hopin' dat dare wood bee a bunny fer me to see.

Dr Kim, she so sweet. She kno' alot 'bout kitts. But she sedd she nebber seed scritches like dat afore. (I thought that rather strange because I've seen lesions like that.) She like to tawk to me in a funny skeeky voice.... I refuzez to annser her. But I stawted to pants... an' dey awl giggles. I wanned to tells dem I wernt dare fer dare ennertainments.

Dey stik a stiks in my butt. Fer dat I was not happies, but I dint gwowl. Dey stik stiks in my ears an' wipe it on sum glass. ( I wanted to tell her he didn't have an ear infection. For God's sake his ears are cleaner than mine) An' she come backs to say I dint haz no infarckshun in mai ears.

So she frow owt sum oppshuns.... fungus cultoor, antibioktics, or waits to see. I dint haz no votes in dah matters. Mum opt fer dah fungus cultoor since she fightin' a fungus on her faces. I muss admits dat wernt too twaumatic.

I haz to sayz dat it werr so hots in dat buildin' I almose t'ought dat I werr agoona pass owt. Mum werr sweatin' an' mumblin' sumfing about never bein' ables to werk in a place dat dis hot. It insanes.

But bak to dah vet bizzit.....it will takes 'bout too weeks fer dem rezults. In dah meen times... I git sum gointments fer dem spots. It haz to goes on my ears twoo times a day.

Upons owr returns home, I quikly runned off fer cuver. It will takes a bit uv times fer mum to be allowd to catch me fer dem tweetment.

Oh, I weighs 11.4#. I a bit disturbed dat Dr Kim dint say nuffin' 'bout my wavys furrs on my headie. OOshually she compleements me on my furrs.

Ub corrz, no wun seem consern 'bout dah furrs I was blowin' durrin' awl uv dis. Mai mum haz nebber figgured owt dat wen she buy clothez, to buy lite colors... (but dark colors are slenderizing... there isn't a color dark enough!)

I wanna fank awl my furrien's who purred fer me, showeded concerns, an' maded me laff!

Dew

Scabs an' v-e-t-s

I has an "inklin'" dat I iz goin' fer a rides in dah twuck toomorrows... I haz sumfing goin' on wiff my ear skins and furrs. Mum haz bin keepin' her eye on a teenie tiny little scabs I hadded on bote ears in dah sayme spot. Well, dat areas is gittin' bigger an' I haz losted sum furrs in dah areas. Dare a little bit bigger scab now too. I DUNT WANNA HAZ GERRYATRIC ALLOHPEESHEIA!!!

Mum sez she dunt fink it aloe-pee-she-ah. AN' she hopin' it nut dah dwedded wingwerms. (I don't think it's ring worm. But I've been treating a fungal infection on my face---long story from wrong prescription prescribed--and I don't think it's contagious)

Watt she really hoping it not beez iz a foods allergies. Den she dunt kno' watt she agoona doo 'bout feedin' uz.

Awl I knows iz I dunt wanna go visitz Dr Kim no matters how nice she be to me an' how mush she say she like my wavy furrs on my headie nor no matters how cute she tawk to me.

I awlso dunt see enny reezun to put dat pwobe up my butt. Dat disturbs me.

I finks I shall worries 'bout dis most uv dah nites...

Keepin' cwickets be berry sigh-en-tiffik!

Dem cwickets haz a new home..... dey haz bin put in a contayners wiff holes, foods, papers egg karton, an' a wet spunge... I giss dat dey will dwound demselfs iffin yu put wadder in wiff dem... durrrr! We dunt haz no pootaytoes, but tahmorrows mum will git wun an' put a slize in dare inclozur cuz dey eets dem too...

I nebber knowed dat iffin yu wanna keeps cwickets, dare be a methood to keepin' dem. AN'.... cwicket kin poop... yep. Whoo knowed??!!! I giss dey more advansted den I figgured.

Now, Oliver an' I haz to lerns how to whistles.... Da Tabbies O Twout Town suggess dat we set dem cwickets looz an' den acks awl non-show-lant wen bein' kweshuned laters...

Yu canno' whissles wen yu eatin' cwackers.....

Ear licker................

I must admitts, my bruffur Oliber be dah bestest ear licker in dah hoooooooooole werld!! He kin cleans owt my ears enny day. Sumtimes it tickle, udder times I takes it az a inbatation fer sum wrestlin'. My flaborite times iz wen I gittin' dah sleepies an' I iz cuddled up wiff him an' it like a kitty lully-bye wen he lick dem. I bettz it bwing back memoriees uv wen I werr a tiny kit an' my mumma wood cleans me.

Iffin yu haz a bruffur or sisfur........ yu shood haz dem cleenz yer eers. Dare iz nuffin like it. Iffin yu dunt haz a bruffur or sisfur....... ax yer mum or poppie an' I bettz dat dey wood be more den happie to licks yer ears....

A runs to dah store...

Owr advenshur…

Dis mornin’ affer mum leeved fer werk….. we setted dah alarms clock to wakes uz wen dah stores bee open. We putted on owr walkin’ shooz an’ setted owt to dah store down dah road….

Wen we gotted dare, we coont opens dah awtomatic door acuz we dunt weighs nuff to open dem. We hadded to waits fer a hoomanie to comed along to twip dah door…….. wen dat happen… in we runneded.

Holy Cows….. it bee a biggie store. I fink it be cawled a Sooper Dooper Stores… it taketed uz a little bitty bit uv runnin’ dah isles to find dah Hallwerweenie displays…. I coont bahleeves mai eyes!! Dare werr so menny fings……… stuffs like……….. fake toofies, almost reel bloods, wigs… fake finnernails…. swords, makesup, coostoomes……………. an’ CANDIES!!!

I lookie behind me………. no Olivers… I mew hiz names reeel quite like acuz I dint wanna git kick owttah dah stores afore we madeded owr purrrrchazes . He dint anzer me….. so I poke mai headie aroun’ dah corner……………….. DARE HE BEE!!!

Oliver werr in dah canny isle….. he hadded finded dah goomie werms, canny corns………… an’ hiz moistest flayborite uv awl…………….. a Chwarleston Chew!! No wunner he coont anzer me…… hiz mouff werr fulls uv yummy goodness.

I taps him on his headie……. he turn arouns an’ he SKREEM!!!! I had forgotted I twied on a skeletor mask afore I went lookin fer him…………. BOO! I tells yu, a mouff fulls uv Chawleston Chew iz nuffin enny kitty wanna see…

I hawls him obber to dah coostoome isles…. ooooooooooooooooo ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!! I fink dare mussah bin ‘bout 83 different coostoomies……. awl differn’ spookie wuns an’ silly funny wuns… I says to Olivers…….. we haz to look qwik afore a sales wepresentatib find uz an’ tells uz to skeeeedattle…..

Olivers, who haz a short attenshun spans, find ebberyfing but a Dewey coostoomie. He twyin’ on a pirtate an’ purrrtend he Captn Moogan, ah Fwench Maid....…. finkin’ he Miz Rosie….. ah Pumkpin….. finkin’ he Tiny Sparkman…… but nooooooooooooo Dewey. I twied to finds a Oliver coostoomie…… but I coont find wun eeder. Dey werr awl solded owttah Oliver an’ Dewey coostooms. NOW WATT WE AGOONA DO??!!

Affer I leaved a few coins fer dah canny datt Olivers bwoked in tah……. we high tails it owttah dare an’ haz to figgur owttah new plans……..

I fink dat plans involve a sewin’ machines….. a spools uv tread………… an’ a skissors….