October 8th 2011 6:45 am
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Dis mornin' wen I werr in dah bazment, mom an' I hadded a conberrsayshun. In dah bazement beez a deehoomiddyfire. It cullect wadders in a biggie kontainers on dah bak of it. I likes to slurps dat wadder. Mom dunt likes it wen I slurrps it. I werr standin' by dah deehoomiddyfire wiff my fwunt paws on dah eddg uv dah kontainers. Dah konverrsayshun wentededed like dis....
Mom.... Oliver, don't drink that water, it's glerky.
Mee...... (I dippy dips mai paw an' licks it) Nope, dunt tayste glerky
Mom......... OLIVER, stop that, it's glerky!!
Mee........... (I dips mai paw agin an' licks it) Nope, it not glerky.
I dips agin an' agin an' agin an' eech times I tells her... Nopes, not glerky.
Den I turns my hedd to moms an' ax her..... Watt be glerky???
Mom rolls her eyeses an' wok away shakin' her hedd....
MOM!!!! WAT BEE GLERKY?????!!!!! I yells dat to hers az she goin' up dah steps......
IT'S WHAT IS PROBABLY GIVING YOU THE SQUIRTS!!!! Bee watt she yell back to me.
I figgur iffin I gots dem sqwerts, I spends less times in dah poopie box.... It a wins-wins sittsheayshuns.
June 16th 2011 8:15 am
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Juss affer mom stwaightens up dah kitshin....... I knock a HOOOOOOOOLE pickturs uv wadder obber an on to dah floors. Yip. I gotted a steern tawkin' to an' den I wented to go takes a nap.
May 25th 2011 3:49 pm
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Our sweet furrien' Innyanna. His sissy an' mom is so sads. His sissy is Kitty Pwide. We has sush a loves fer Inny. He werr so funny an' hadded sush a carefwee hearts. He lurved life an' lurved his sissy an' momma.
Pweeze purr fer his momma an' sissy. Dare hearts be bwakin'.
March 16th 2011 11:12 am
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Today be dah saddest ebber dat I kin remlembers...... sept wen Arnold P an' Calvin leftted uz fer dah bwidge. Owr poor Hazel Loocy hadded to cwoss dah bwidge too. Awl I kno' iz dat we iz sooooo sorries fer HL's mommie. Fly fwee HL an' God-speed! We will waves to yer bwite star toonites! We luvs yu!
March 9th 2011 10:00 am
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Haz yu ebber had a mom who lurk aroun' in yer baffrooms area?? Mom be comin' down to my baffrooms an' sawkin' me fer dah past day. She look so stoopid. Lurkin' a purrrrtendin' she doin' sumfing udder den lurkin'. Dare not mush more riddikulus den yer mom walkin' 'round dah basement, hummin' a tune, twyin' not too looks at yu an' holdin' cuppie....
Me....... I juss sittin' on dah lass steps uv dah stares, watchin' her look stoopids.
Wen she figgur I on to her gayme, she shut dah basement door.... WATT!! So dah stand offs beginnededed...
Affer lunch, she kno' we awlways go down to do owr biddness in dah boxes. AN' she kno' dat I canno' rezzist a fwesh cleens box.... Well dat watt werr waitin' fer me.... an' along comes mom..... wiff her cuppie... an' steels my gold bullions.... Ha HA she say an' quik like a mousie run up dah steppies an' put dah boollions in tah a zippie baggie an' owt dah door she go..... HUH??!
Dis be my t'eory... she taked dat berry berry 'xpensive gold to dah Firss Nashunull Bank an' twades it fer cash-oh-la to pays dah vet bill. I iz afeared dat she iz agoona be lurkin' awl dah times now dat she kno' how val-oo-abulls it bee. I bet she gotted a leest a nickels fer awl dah loot.
Awl I kno' iz dat lurkin' an' stawkin' be ill-eagles an' dat iffin it continoo......... I will git ah reestwainin' orders fwum dah laws an' makes her Dah-seest an' Dah-sisst awl attemptst to steels my golds!
March 8th 2011 4:41 pm
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Robertas, dat vet tech, cawl today to tells uz 'bout dah peepee dey stoled fwum me.
She say dat I haz sum bloods in my peepee, but no more cwystals. So it good an' not so good. She say dat sumtimes bloods can be in dah peepee iffin dey haz to git dah peepee by cystocentesis.... poking a big old needles froo my tummy in to my bladders........... YAH!! Dat rite kitts, it as big az a harpoooon. But she alzo sedded dat it cood be cysteritis... I fink dat wen yu iz allergics to yer sister... But I dunt haz a sister.
Dey wood likes to see iffin I cood peepee in tah cup. Mom iz berry berry goods at catchin' dah peepee fwum me. But I iz on tah her. She iz nebber down in dah areas uv dah litter boxes, now she down dare awl dah times. But I figgur I iz helpin' her xersize goin' up an' downs dem steps awl days long. I iz holdin' on to my peepee tills she fass asleeps. Den we will stawt dis whole fing obber toomorrows.
My poopies is mush bedder. Dewey iz not gibbin' up hiz poopies fer her to check. But at leest dey is not shootin' owttah him enny mores. He cood nebber holds on to a rocket like puddin' poop wen it wanna takes off.
So we still need purrs. I iz not too werried. But now we kno' why I haz bin lickin' my bellies down by my wee-willy-winkie.
March 7th 2011 3:20 pm
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Watt dah??!!! No good come fwum dat twavelin' box comin' up fwum dah bazement. It unly meen wun fing. It kin unly holds wun uv us. So wen mum pack Dewey in it, I figgured I hadded dodge dat bullet....
No sush lukks............ I rided to dah v-e-t on mom's lap......... singin' dah entires 5 blocks dare.... Dewey....... he singededed back-up vokals...
Dr Kim ask mom about my lickin'........ mom sez I likes to lick mozely on my tummy down by my "wee-willy-winkers"........ an' sum on my paws. Dr Kim sayz hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, sumtimes kitties lick on dare tummy by dare "itsy-bitsy-bitts" iffin dey is habbin' sum bladders pains.
Dat wood make zenze cuz I haz dem stoopid cwystals....... mom hadded awlreddy t'ought uv dat possybillity too......
Dr Kim feeleded my tummy fer to see iffin I hadded enny peepee in mai bladders.... den she snatch me aways to steals some of my gatoraide to tests it fer cwystals...........
Iffin it looks like dem stoopid cwystals is still formin', den I mite needs a different cwystal foods. Iffin dare dunt be enny cwystals, den I iz agoona be put on ah hypoooallerginic foods.
Dis howse is a poopie peepee mess...............
March 4th 2011 6:32 pm
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I gived my mum a nice long wrest fwum dumpin' dah wadder glazz. So I figgured dat it 'bout times to stawt it ups agin. I t'ought dat 5:03 a.m. be dah korrek time.
Yu wanna seez a hooman fling demselfs owtah beddie likes a bullet, dumps a full glazz uv wadder on to dah floors uv dah beddie room cawpet.... DEN RUNS!! I iz shur she hab no clues dat it werr me..... Dat why I canno figgers owt why I heared her sayin.............. OLIVER, WHY DID YOU FEEL YOU HAD TO DO THAT????!!!
I sedded to hers........... fwum dah kitshen......... CUZ YU IZ SNORIN'!!!!
February 14th 2011 3:13 pm
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I awlays fergit wen zactly mai Birdfetalday bee. But it bee toodey!! Aint dat sumfin'! I haz gotted so menny nice gifties fwum Catster fwends an' alotta gweetin's on Faceterbook.
To sellebwate, mom takeded a nappie wiff me dis affernoons an' I gotted to haz sum yummy noms fwum sum yummy nanna cweam pies dat mum bwingeded home fwum werk. It dah bestest. I likes dat nanna cweam pi acuz affer yu eats sum uv it, wen yu burps latter ons in dah affernoons... it still taste like nanna cweem pi!! It like eatin' it obber an' obber' an' obber!! How gwate iz dat??!!
Fer zupper, I gits a spwershul tweet uv can fudd. I fink it agoona beez chickie pot pi flavors................. I wunner iffin' I kin taste dat awl ebbenin' long like dah nanner pi??!!
So fanks fer helpin' me sellebwates. It werr GWATE!!
January 30th 2011 9:27 am
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1. I find it twubblesum wen dey stays home fwum werk. It spoils my nappin' cuz I haz to keeps an eye on her so she dunt eetz enny uv my tweats.
2. Dey dunt fink dey haz nuff space in dah beddie to sleep comfurrbly. I gives her 'bout 12 inches an' dat awl she need to sleeps on her sides. Iffin she wanna sleeps on her back, she need to find a different sleepin' spot.
3. Sulecktive heerin'. She ignore my plee fer foods. How kin yu innors dis?? It dah saddest sound in dah werld!!
4. Reestwickshuns. I dunt likes to be reestwicked fwum goin' ennywheres an' wen a door be shut to keeps me owt............. I WANTS IN!
5. Unfluffercatin' stuffs dat be fluffy. I find a nice comfly spots to napps, like a baskets uv lawdries, dah unmaded beddie, blankies, etc. an' suddenly she have to folds dem clotheses or make dah beddie... sheesh
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