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An Account of My Captivity

My friend Lock went missing about a week and a half ago. The humans have been acting weird ever since. They are very sad, so i don't think they made Lock go away. One of the humans cries a lot and i heard her say she wants him back.

I've found i really like these "pettings" the humans give. The humans still make me very nervous, and my tail puffs out when they pet me, but i do enjoy it. I shall let the humans continue to pet me, but not pick me up or anything else that demeaning.

I got so stoned on the nip last night! I knocked over the big container of it that the dumb human didn't put away, then i rolled in it over and over again.

But, i have a shameful confession to make -- this morning i let one of the humans touch me. I was still stoned on the nip and i wandered into her room. Poe was there and i was going to get him to clean my head, but then the human scratched my head instead, and my back, and my butt. It felt soo good.

I'm so ashamed. At least the human didn't eat me or grab me and send me to the "vet" again.

I know it's been a long time since i've written.

I'm still held captive by the humans. They have subjected me to some strange bits of torture, mostly bringing new animals into the house who I just know are in league with the humans in their campaign to eat me. It's a wonder i'm still alive.

A month ago they caught me, put me in a squarish bag, and took me to a strange place where they poked me with a needle. I'm sure they were trying to determine how to cook me. Luckily i escaped the square bag thing when the humans left it unzipped and unguarded.

All the strange animals they brought in are gone now, probably eaten by the humans. The humans say they found new families, or in one case got very sick, but i know they are just trying to cover their tracks.

I still can't figure out why they haven't eaten Poe, Lenore, and Lock. Maybe they are too old and stringy. Those silly cats actually let the humans touch them and cuddle with them. I think they are crazy. I sniff the humans every once in a while, but that's as far as i will go.