Isaac *RIP*


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Picture of Isaac *RIP*, a male Breed Unknown/Breed Unknown

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Home:Eugene, OR  [I have a diary!]  
Sex: Male

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   Leave a treat for Isaac *RIP*

Special Gift Box:
The family of ♥ Tony ♥ , ♥ Anna ♥ , ♥ Greystone ♥ , ♥ Sammy ♥, ♥ Stormy ♥  and more!
 

Nicknames:
Hunky Toes

Birthday:
March 7th 1973

Arrival Story:
My mother brought him home from a friend's whose cat had a litter of 8. Isaac was the biggest one and the only one with his coloring. I instantly fell in love with him.

Forums Motto:
Hunky Toes

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Myspace Layouts $layout_link / Hot Comments / Image Hosting



Cat & Bird Friends:


I've Been On Catster Since:
July 27th 2007 More than 7 years!

Rosette, Star and Special Gift History

Catster Id:
592506


Meet my family
♥Zelda
Marie♥
Sweet Angel
Rosie 3/08/10
Teddi Sue
*HOME*
furever!
Link
♥The
Tater Tots!
Rooty (forever
in our hearts)
Bingo (6/13/83
- 4/19/97)
♥Daisy~
in loving
memory
The Taters'
Angels
(R.I.P.)
Coco (1987 -
2002)
Teddi Sue &
Spanky
Furever!
♥ Penny
Ann, My Angel
The Happy Tail
of Teddi Sue:)
Penny & Duke
Furever &
Always
The Tater
Tots' Travels

Meet my Feline Friends
See all my Feline Friends
See all my Feline Friends
 

Purrrs From The Bridge , by Isaac


More Laughs....

January 1st 2010 10:24 pm
[ Leave A Comment ]

Informant


The phone rings at FBI headquarters.

"Hello?"

"Hello, is this the FBI?"

"Yes. What do you want?"

"I'm calling to report my neighbor Adrian Thibodeaux! He is hiding drugs inside his firewood."

"Thank you very much for the call, sir."

The next day, the FBI agents descend on Thibodeaux's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no drugs. They swear at Thibodeaux and leave.

The phone rings at Thibodeaux's house.

"Hey, Adrian! Did the FBI come?"

"Yeah!"

"Did they chop your firewood?"

"Yep"

"Great, now it's your turn to call. I need my garden plowed."

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Joke Teller


The boss joined a group of his workers at the coffee urn and told a series of jokes he'd heard recently. Everybody laughed loudly. Everybody, that is, except Mike.

When he noticed that he was getting no reaction from Mike, the boss said, "What's the matter, Mike? No sense of humor?"

"My sense of humor is fine," he said. "But I don't have to laugh. I'm quitting tomorrow."

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One Wish


For years, three men were stranded on a desert island.

One day, a magic lamp washed on to the beach. They rubbed the lamp, and a genie appeared that granted each man a wish.

"I wish I was off this island and back with my familly," said the first man, and he disappeared.

"I also wish I was off this island and back home," said the second man. He too disappeared.

The third man, looked around and feeling lonely, looked up to the genie, "I really kind of like this island. I have everything I want, but it is getting a little lonely, so I wish my two friends were back to keep me company."

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Backseat Driver


A police pulled a man over and said "sir did you know that you are going 20 miles over the speed limit?" and the man answers, "No officer I did not." and his wife says, "yes you did I've been telling you that for the last 20 minutes." and the man yells "Shut up!" and the officer says, "Well did you know that your liscense plate is expired?" and the man answers "no officer I did not."And the wife says "yes you did I've been telling you for three months to get it updated!" and the husband yells "Be Quite! or I'll tape it shut!" and the officer says "ma'm does he always talk to you like this?" and the wife answers "no only when he's drinking."

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Final Exam


At Duke University, there were four sophomores taking Organic Chemistry. They were doing so well on all the quizzes, midterms and labs, etc., that each had an "A" so far for the semester.

These four friends were so confident that the weekend before finals, they decided to go up to the University of Virginia and party with some friends there. They had a great time, but after all the hearty partying, they slept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to Duke until early Monday morning.

Rather than taking the final then, they decided to find their professor after the final and explain to him why they missed it. They explained that they had gone to UVA for the weekend with the plan to come back in time to study, but, unfortunately, they had a flat tire on the way back, didn't have a spare, and couldn't get help for a long time. As a result, they missed the final.

The professor thought it over and then agreed they could make up the final the following day. The guys were elated and relieved. They studied that night and went in the next day at the time the professor had told them. He placed them in separate rooms and handed each of them a test booklet, and told them to begin.

They looked at the first problem, worth five points. It was something simple about free radical formation. "Cool," they thought at the same time, each one in his separate room, "this is going to be easy." Each finished the problem and then turned the page.

On the second page was written: (For 95 points): Which tire?

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The Bribe


A professor was grading the essay finals he had just given his class and opened the exam book of a failing student to reveal blank pages and a $100 bill. The only thing written in the book was "$100 = 100% - I get an A."

A month later, the student approached the professor. "I don't understand," he said. "I failed the course. Didn't you read my final?" The professor handed the student the exam book.

The student opened it to reveal $50 and the phrase "$50 = 50% - You fail!"

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Exact Change


A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him.The waitress asks them for their orders.The man says, 'A hamburger, fries and a coke,' and turns to the ostrich, 'What's yours?''I'll have the same,' says the ostrich.A short time later the waitress returns with the order 'That will be $9.40 please,' and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, 'A hamburger, fries and a coke.'The ostrich says, 'I'll have the same.'Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes routine until the two enter again. 'The usual?' asks the waitress. 'No, this is Friday so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad,' says the man.'Same,' says the ostrich.Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, 'That will be $32.62.'Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. 'Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?

'Well,' says the man, 'several years ago I was cleaning the attic I found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.''That's brilliant!' says the waitress. 'Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!' 'That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there,' says the man..The waitress asks, 'What's with the ostrich?'The man sighs... pauses and answers, 'My second wish was for a chick with long legs and who agrees with everything I say.'

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The Curse


A prince had a curse put on him when he was a little boy. He could only speak two words every year. But, if he didn't speak for a whole year, he would then be able to speak 4 words the next year and so on.One day he met a princess named Josie and he wanted to say "My Princess".The next year he saw her he wanted to say "My princess, I love you".The third year he saw her he wanted to say "My princess I love you, will you marry me?" But, the young prince, now growing older knew he would have to wait a couple more years.So, on the fifth year, excited to finally present his question, he visited the princess.He approached her respectfully and asked, "JOSIE, MY PRINCESS, I LOVE YOU. WILL YOU MARRY ME?" And the princess said, "Pardon?"

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Bear Chase




Two guys are out in the woods hiking.All of a sudden, a bear starts chasing them. They climb a tree, but the bear starts climbing up the tree after them.The first guy gets his sneakers out of his knapsack and starts putting them on.The second guy says, "What are you doing? He says, "I figure when the bear gets too close, we'll have to jump down and make a run for it." The second guy says, "Areyou crazy? You can't outrun a bear"!The first guy says, "I don't have to outrun the bear. I only have to outrun you…

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Rainy Day




Two kangaroos were talking to each other, and one said, "Gee, I hope it doesn't rain today, I hate it when the children play inside."

------------------------------------------------ -------------------------------------


Teacher's Gift




It was at the end of the school year, and a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils. The florist's son handed her a gift. She shook it, held it

overhead, and said, "I bet I know what it is. Some flowers." "That's right" the boy said, "but how did you know?" "Oh, just a wild guess," she said.

The next pupil was the candy shop owner's daughter. The teacher held her gift overhead, shook it, and said, "I bet I can guess what it is. A box of sweets." "That's

right, but how did you know?" asked the girl. "Oh, just a wild guess," said the teacher.

The next gift was from the son of the liquor store owner. The teacher held the package overhead, but it was leaking. She touched a drop of the leakage with her finger

and touched it to her tongue. "Is it wine?" she asked. "No," the boy replied, with some excitement.

The teacher repeated the process, taking a larger drop of the leakage to her tongue. "Is it champagne?" she asked. "No," the boy replied, with more excitement. The

teacher took one more taste before declaring, "I give up, what is it?" With great glee, the boy replied, "It's a puppy!"

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Helicopter Ride




A man and his wife go to a county fair for 50 years and every year the man said he would love to go on the helicopter ride. However, it costs $50 and his wife said

"no, $50 is $50". One year the pilot heard this and said if you don't make a sound on the flight you can ride for free and the4 couple agreed. The pilot did

everything he could to make them make a sound even loop the loops but they never made a peep. At the end of the ride, the pilot said "congratulations, you didn't make

a sound!". The man replied, "I almost made a sound when my wife fell out but $50 is $50!".

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Knock At The Door




A new pastor was visiting the homes of his parishioners.

At one house it seemed obvious that someone was at home, but no answer came to his repeated knocks at the door. Therefore, he took out a card and wrote "Revelation 3:20" on the back of it and stuck it in the door.

When the offering was processed the following Sunday, he found that his card had been returned. Added to it was this cryptic message, Genesis 3:10."

Reaching for his Bible to check out the citation, he broke up in gales of laughter.

Revelation 3:20 begins "Behold, I stand at the door and knock." Genesis 3:10 reads, "I heard your voice in the garden and I was afraid, for I was naked."

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Quick Response




This is the true story of George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi, who was going to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the shed. George opened the door to go turn off the light but saw there were people in the shed in the process of stealing things.

He immediately phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?" and George said no and explained the situation. Then they explained that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be there when available.

George said, "Okay," hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again.

"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I've just shot them all."

Then he hung up. Within five minutes three squad cars, an Armed Response unit, and an ambulance showed up. Of course, the police caught the burglars red-handed.

One of the policemen said to George: "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"

George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"

--------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------


Fast Car




A young hotshot lawyer went out and bought the fastest car in the world, the new SSC Ultimate Aero, for a cool $750,000. It was a nice day outside, so he took the car for it’s first drive on the street.

As he stops at a red light, an old man on a mobility scooter rodes off the sidewalk and pulls up next to him. The man on the scooter, who had to be at least 70 years old, leaned over at the driver’s side window and asked “Nice car there Sonny, what is it?”

“Why, this is the Ultimate Aero, the fastest car in the world. It has 1183 horsepower and can go 257 miles per hour!” exclaimed the cocky attorney. “And” he continued, “it cost 3/4 of a million dollars!”

“Wow,” replied the old man, “mind if I take a look inside?” he asked. “Of course not,” the lawyer said proudly.

So the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around. Then, sitting back down on his mobility scooter, says, “That’s a pretty fancy sportscar, all right… but I’ll stick with my scooter!”

Just then, the light changes and the lawyer decides to show the old man with his car is all about. The car goes from 0-60mph in just 2.7 seconds and, before he realizes it he’s doing 220mph. Looking back, he notices a small dot in his rear view mirror. It seems to be getting closer! He slows down to see what it could be and suddenly, whhhoooossh! Something whips by him, going much faster!

“What in the world could be possibly be going faster than my Aero?” the young lawyer asks himself. Then, ahead of him, he sees a dot again… this time coming toward him. Whooooooossh! It flies by again, heading the opposite direction! And, it almost looked likethe old man on the moped! “Couldn’t be,” thinks the lawyer. “How could a moped outrun an Ultimate Aero?”

Again, he sees a dot in his rear view mirror, but before he could react… Whooosh Ka-BbblaaaaMMM! It plows into the back of his car, completely demolishing the rear end. The young lawyer jumps out and, to his suprise, it’sthe old man on the mobility scooter!

He runs up to the mangled old man and says, “Oh my gosh! Are you ok? Is there anything I can do for you?” The old man groans and moans, finally he replies… “Yes, unhook my suspenders from your side-view mirror!”

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The Invisible Man




A psychiatrist's secretary walks into his study and says, "There's a gentleman in the waiting room asking to see you. Claims he's invisible."

The psychiatrist responds, "Tell him I can't see him."

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Amazing Dog




An avid duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog. His search ended when he found a dog that could actually walk on water to retrieve a duck. Shocked by his find, he was sure none of his friends would ever believe him.

He decided to try to break the news to a friend of his, the eternal pessimist who refused to be impressed with anything. This, surely, would impress him. He invited him to hunt with him and his new dog.

As they waited by the shore, a flock of ducks flew by. they fired, and a duck fell. The dog responded and jumped into the water. The dog, however, did not sink but instead walked across the water to retrieve the bird, never getting more than his paws wet. This continued all day long; each time a duck fell, the dog walked across the surface of the water to retrieve it.

The pessimist watched carefully, saw everything, but did not say a single word.

On the drive home the hunter asked his friend, "Did you notice anything unusual about my new dog?"

"I sure did," responded the pessimist. "He can't swim."

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Missing Husband




John was in trouble, really big trouble. You see, he forgot his wedding anniversary and, if you’re married, you can imagine what he’s probably going through. His wife was really angry.

She told him “Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!” She was serious too, so John got serious.

The next morning he woke up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped, right there in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife threw her robe on and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house and opened in with much anticipation.

Inside she found a brand new bathroom scale. John has been missing since Thursday.

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A Part In the Play




A young lad's father picked him up from school to take him to a dental appointment.

Knowing the parts for the school play were supposed to be posted today, he asked his son if he got a part.

The boy enthusiastically announced that he'd gotten a part. "I play a man who's been married for twenty years."

"That's great, son. Keep up the good work and before you know it they'll be giving you a speaking part."

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Bad Kitty ......




A couple was going out for the evening to celebrate wife’s birthday. They’d gotten ready - all dressed up, put the cat out, etc.

The taxi arrived, and as the couple walked out of their home, the cat ran back into the house.

Not wanting their often rowdy cat to have free run of the house while they were out, the husband went back upstairs to chase the cat out.

The wife, not wanting it known that the house would be empty, explained to the taxi driver, "He’s just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother."

A few minutes later, the husband got into the cat, and said, "Sorry I took so long" he says, "Stupid old thing was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out!"

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Touchy Driver ......




A passenger in a taxi tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him something.

The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus,drove up over the curb, and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window.

For a few moments everything was silent in the cab, then the driver said, "Please, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me."

The passenger, who was also frightened, apologised and said he didn't realise that a tap on the shoulder could frighten him so much, to which the driver replied,

"I'm sorry, it's really not your fault at all. Today is my first day driving a cab.

I've been driving a hearse for the last 25 years"

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Bribe......




Taking his seat in his chambers, the judge faced the opposing lawyers.

"So," he said, "I have been presented, by both of you, with a bribe."

Both lawyers squirmed uncomfortably.

"You, attorney Leon, gave me $15,000. And you, attorney Campos, gave me $10,000."

The judge reached into his pocket and pulled out a check. He handed it to Leon. "Now then, I'm returning $5,000, and we're going to decide this case solely on its merits!"

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Short Delay


Taxing down the runway, the passenger jet abruptly came to a stop, turned around and returned to the gate. Eventually however, after an hour-long wait, the flight finally took off.

A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What was the problem?"
"The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine," explained the Flight Attendant.
“I hope it’s all sorted now.” Replied the nervous passenger.
"Oh yes, it’s fine now Sir, it just took us a while to find a new pilot."

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Funny Stuff.

October 9th 2009 12:32 am
[ Leave A Comment ]

Looks familiar...

Judi and Gayle were walking down the street. Judi noticed a compact on the sidewalk and leaned down to pick it up. She opened it, looked in the mirror, and said, "Hmmm, this person looks familiar."

Gayle said, "Let me look." So Judi handed her the compact.

Gayle looked in the mirror then turned to Judi. "You dummy -- that's me!!!



Hearing voices...

A guy goes into a bar and orders a beer. As he takes a sip of his beer, he hears a tiny little voice say: "Nice tie." He looks around but sees no one. He take another sip of his beer and hears: "A nice shirt, too." Again he looks around and sees no one.

He signals the bartender over, and hesitantly explains that he's hearing voices talking to him... "Of course," smiles the bartender. "It's the peanuts -- they're complimentary."



Easy diagnosis...

A man walks into a doctor's office. He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear.

"What's the matter with me?" he asks the doctor.

The doctor replies, "You're not eating properly."



Smarter than he seems...

There was a little boy named Johnny who used to hang out at the local corner market. The owner didn't know what Johnny's problem was, but the boys would constantly tease him.

They would always comment that he was two bricks shy of a load, or two pickles short of a barrel. To prove it, sometimes they would offer Johnny his choice between a nickel (5 cents) and a dime (10 cents) and John would always take the nickel -- they said, because it was bigger.

One day after John grabbed the nickel, the store owner took him aside and said, "Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. They think you don't know the dime is worth more than the nickel. Are you grabbing the nickel because it's bigger or what?"

Slowly, Johnny turned toward the store owner and a big grin appeared on his face and Johnny said, "Well, if I took the dime, they'd stop doing it, and so far I've saved $20!"



Signs that times are changing....

As a little girl climbed onto Santa's lap, Santa asked the usual, "And what would you like for Christmas?"

The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped: "Didn't you get my E-mail?"



Two Plus Two....

A mathematician, a statistician and an accountant apply for the same job. The interviewer calls in the mathematician and asks "What does two plus two equal?"

The mathematician replies "Four." The interviewer asks "Four, exactly?" The mathematician looks at the interviewer incredulously and says "Yes, four, exactly."

Then the interviewer calls in the statistician and asks the same question "What does two plus two equal?" The statistician says "On average, four - give or take ten percent, but on average, four."

Then the interviewer calls in the accountant and poses the same question "What does two plus two equal?"

The accountant gets up, locks the door, closes the shade, sits down next to the interviewer and says "What do you want it to equal?"



Open Door

A man and his wife arrived at an automobile dealership to pick uptheir car, but were told that the keys had been accidentally locked in it. They went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As they watched from the passenger's side, the guy instinctively tried the door handle and discovered it was open. "Hey," the man announced to the technician, "It's open!"

"I know," answered the young man. "I already got that side."



Hat Fails Man
(click on following sentence)

I wish this stupid hat would block out the sun!



Monkeys Unpack
(click on following words)

Open Monkey Range tour



Avid Golfer

Bill, an avid golfer, contacts a "Medium" and asks if there is a Golf Course in Heaven. The Medium says that his request is a big order, but he will try and find out and get back to Bill in a few days.

After several days go by, Bill finally gets a call from the Medium. "Well," said Bill, "what did ya find out?"

"I've got good news and bad news for you," said the Medium.

"OK," "what's the good news" Bill exclaimed.

"Well," there is a beautiful 36 hole golf course in Heaven, and you'll have 24 hour access with your own personal caddy," blurted out the Medium.

"And the bad news?" asked Bill.

"You're due to tee-off this Sunday at around 10:30 in the morning."

 

A Simple Message From Your Pet

August 6th 2009 8:51 pm
[ Leave A Comment ]

A Simple Message From Your Pet

by Ken D. Conover

To have loved and then said farewell is better than to have never loved at all.
For all of the times that you stooped and touched my head, fed me my favorite treat and
returned the love that I so unconditionally gave to you. For the care that you gave to me
so unselfishly. For all of these things I am grateful and thankful. I ask that you grieve
not for the loss but rejoice in the fact that we lived, loved and touched each other's lives.
My life was fuller because you were there, not as owner, but as my friend. Today, I am
as I was in my youth. The grass is always green, butterflies flit among fthe flowers and
the sun shines gently down upon all of God's creatures. I can run, jump and play
and do all of the things that I did in my youth. There is no sickness, no aching joints
and no regrets and no aging. We await the arrival of our lifelong companions and know
that togetherness is forever. You live in our hearts as we do in yours. Companions such
as you are very rare and unique. Don't hold the love that you have within yourself.
Give it to another like me and then I will live forever. For love never really dies,
and you are loved and missed as surely as we are.

Your pet in heaven.

 
See all diary entries for Isaac *RIP*