May 20th 2005 2:13 pm
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I just wanted to let you know that it's OK that you weren't there. I understand that you were in the hospital, and that you couldn't come home.
The end wasn't as bad as you might think. To tell you the truth, I really don't remember what happened. I just remember thinking of you, and wishing that I was with you. Before I knew it, I was no longer alive on earth.
At first, daddy, I was sad. I was sad because I some how knew I wasn't going to be with you anymore. Then I became even more sad, because I knew you would know that we wouldn't be together any more too. Then I got scared.
I was scared, daddy because I knew you were sick, and I worried that my death might make you sicker. I wanted to do something to let you know that I was OK, but I didn't know what. So I waited. I waited, and I waited because I knew one day you wouldn't be so sad.
But that day never came. You stayed sad, and so did I.
I watched you daddy, every day. I watched you cry for weeks after I died. I watched as you looked at my pictures and weep. I watched as you held my collar, and cried uncontrollably. I watched, and I felt so much sorrow as it rushed out of your broken heart, and into mine.
Because our hearts broke together that awful day.
I wanted to tell you how sorry I am, daddy. I'm sorry I went out when you told me not to. I'm sorry, and I miss you very much. You were the best daddy I could've possibly ever hoped for. You were kind, and caring, and you loved me.
I also want to tell you, daddy, that I am here. I am here, and I am waiting for you. I still watch you every day, and now that you are a little better, I thought it was time that you knew.
It's finally the time that I can tell you that I am fine, and that I love you, and that I am waiting for the day you come to be with me. On that day, daddy, we will once again be together, and our hearts will mend, and we will cry no more.