August 16th 2007 11:21 am
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On 3rd August 2007 we said goodbye and cuddled Amber for the last time. She had not been well for the last year and when she became unable to walk to and from her food bowls we fed her as she lay in her litter tray for the last few days.
She has been on medication for hyperthyroidism, but about 6 months ago suffered a sort of stroke, where one of her pupils would not contract properly. Since then she spent much time lying out of the light. We noticed her legs were not supporting her when she stopped trying to come out into the garden - very wobbly on the gravel.
Later she became very thin again and the vet gave her a shot of anti-inflammatory to see if her condition responded. For £50 she had a little under 12 hours use of her hind leg, her fore leg seemed to move but she had no feeling in her paw and continually fell over. At this stage she was still getting to and from her bed and food, so we cuddled her lots and groomed her.
She was still enjoying attention.
Then after another week, she became unable to move and seemed distressed because she could not get to her litter tray, so we made her comfortable on some clean litter with soft towelling and her fleece and she purred when anyone stroked her. But mostly she seemed unaware of us - lying for hours with her eyes open and not blinking. On Thursday I made the appointment, and phoned my husbands ex to explain. She arranged to come round on the Friday morning to say goodbye and I was relieved that she agreed it was the best thing for Amber.
This has all been very hard for my 13yr old stepson, who has loved Amber since she first used to sleep with him as a baby. I find myself wishing we had taken more pictures of her climbing on his shoulders, sleeping in his Lego and playing with elastic bands.
I have made a collage of all her pics and we both have a copy for the wall. When we took her to the vet for the last time we cuddled her and I held her during the injection. I felt all the stress and tension drop out of her and realised that she would be free of the pain now.
I am crying as write this - I miss her so much. She hasn't really been herself for the last year, but I keep expecting to see her when I go into the conservatory. I keep seeing a dark shape under the chair and thinking 'Oh - its Amber' but its just my stepsons shoes.
We took her to my in-laws house where we wrapped her in towelling and buried her in a box in the garden. I could tell she wasn't in the box, but I wondered if I should have brought her home before we went to my in-laws. I hope she made it to her destination - I haven't heard any plaintive meows, but I do wonder if she was smart enough to work out what happened. She wasn't nicknamed 'bimbo' for nothing.
I have found a few ideas for remembring her - we will plant a rose called 'Amber Queen' by her grave. And I have taken all the lint from the tumble dryer where I dried her fleece and put it into a little salt dough sculpture of a sleeping cat.
Thanks to all those who have 'friended' Amber and given treats. I hope she gets as much love in her next life.
See all diary entries for Amber (sadly no longer with us|