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Stupid Humans, meet your future Slavemaster.

I have decided to stop my escapist ways.

On June 2nd, the man slave-master...uh...guardian...stopped coming home. A lot of people were here and they were all sad & crying. Even that blasted dog was sad, so I couldn't even be mean to him. They kept saying something about an accident at work. They kept telling the woman guardian & Courtney about how sorry they were that the man was gone. He hasn't come home back yet and I don't think he will. I always plotted to kill them, but I was never going to bring my plans to fruition. The woman guardian needs me now. She is so sad and hugs me a lot. Her daughter does, too. I am obviously needed here and will cease my escape attempts. I love them & they are hurting...they are my duty now.

These are the days of discontent.

I had to bring the woman captor the head of my fuzzy mouse to show her what I was capable of doing. She relented a bit...and I have my chance to gain access to the computer.

Christmas was good...for being a cat of my caliber held against my will. Ebony and I received fuzzy mice and some catnip mice. Since the catnip made me intoxicated, my guard was down and I allowed the imbicile dog to gain access to my hidden cache of toys, snacks & catnip. All because the vile woman captor tried to appease us with cheap trinkets and goodwill. I'll show her goodwill...all over her new AREA RUG!!

Until next time, stupid humans....

Day of captivity # 1,820

That vile woman! She has impeded my work since the day I escaped from that wretched animal shelter. The woman captor seems to be more on guard with me as of late. I've got to get out of here. That dog keeps mouthing my neck. I've got to divise a way to use his size and lack of intelligence as means of escape. I will need to think about this one. In the meantime, I may teach him a new game, like 'swallow the stuff under the sink' or 'time to play in traffic'.
I think I'm going to turn in for a nice long nap, but I think I'll catch the weather report first. Then, I will divise my plans for escape. Forecast for tomorrow; A few sprinkles of genius with a chance of doom....or whatever.
I've must leave my captors a subtle reminder to change my litterbox and to remember to leave a fresh copy of Wall Street Journal next to it.

Til' we speak again, stupid humans...