May 12th 2005 9:47 am
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Well, it's another open wide for a little blue pill kind of day...I mean, how would you like it it someone put their paws in your mouth & shoved this tasteless treat down your throat?! I mean really, I dunno what the big fuss is about. So I go back & forth to my litter box...what's the big deal? If a man's gotta go, a man's gotta go! Ok, so not a lot happens when I go, but that's my problem, not theirs! They actually put that vest thing on me, and took me on a ride to the doctor for this! I'd recognize that lab coat anywhere, but then this woman who helped her didn't make matters any better when she pet me so hard I swear she pulled my fur back from over my eyes! I guess they don't understand that I'm the kind of man who's not so "touchy feely" but they're all touching on my belly and...below! Oh the humanity! I try to forget it's been a week since that day, but the little blue treats keep coming and all I can do is...spit them right out! They're so gullible. Both looming over me like huge birds over prey, keeping my head straight up, and Bah! While they're not looking there's a little treat for the dog. Here we go back again but that dog will eat anything; I wish she'd find that blue tasteless treat holder & swallow it while they're sleeping.

Oh! But the nerve she has today! I dunno where that man went, but for the second day in a row she's given me those dreadful things alone, but then said something like: "Since you're feeling a little better, why don't I brush you?" Doesn't she watch me enough to see I can brush myself thank you! Forget that teethlike thing, I've got my regular tongue that works ten times as better than that thing! Ugh, I gave her a good slap right on her paw! I guess it wouldn't seem such a monumentous occassion if that dog wouldn't act like the audience always & never give us any privacy! So I gave her a show. Between you & me, I really love how stunning I look AFTER the brush. I don't know how any cat couldn't find me attractive! I wish some girl cats could come visit me...I've already heard them talking about how the dog gets to meet other dogs. I wouldn't mind a little company from the lady-folk.

Bah, well surprisingly I got a compliment the other day. Ever since this whole "oh Toby's sick" fiasco Mom bought in this running water bowl. I had to inspect it immediately, but I know they didn't expect me to actually use it! I mean, it's nice & all, but I'm a cat from humble beginnnings here...none of that fancy smancy stuff for me! Ok, so late at night I'd drink from it; I love how it's a neverending bowl...never goes down when even that ungraceful dog slobbers water up like we're never getting water again or something. I mean really? Is it my bowl or hers? There's silly Mom, getting on all fours & "faking" that she's drinking out of the bowl. How rediculous! But that "monkey see monkey do" dog sure gets lured in easier than any bird I've seen out the window. That's just why I do it at night, when no ones looking, so they don't make a big deal out of anything. But then there's eyes watching me from behind the couch, "Look! Toby's taking to the Freeflow better than Chloe is!" Ok, so tsomething about me being the "old man" & picking up new things quicker than that spring pup. Hah! I knew I was better than that trainable dog, besides, they're working for me now aren't they?