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The Eternal Battle by Sister Sparky Marie-Louise of the Stinky Pokey Paw- Order

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The trouble with dogs

September 22nd 2004 1:51 am
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I believe Beckham was sent to me as a test. I am trying my hardest to get him on the straight and narrow path towards the Light, but he is a difficult case that requires quite a bit of discipline. This morning, he was insisting on going down the stairs while I was resting on the landing. I warned him, but he persisted. I had to show him the power of the pokey paw with a few direct body and face hits.

If only I could find a cat-paw sized ruler...



October 2nd 2004 12:34 am
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My mom insisted on clipping my nails today. I am not pleased. Does she not know how long I've been growing these and sharpening them to perfection?!



October 22nd 2004 12:30 am
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I have a lot to say lately. It seems like my opinion isn't getting through to the humans, so I keep raising my volume. Maybe if I can meow for 30 seconds solid, they won't be able to ignore me...

My mom gave Luna & I some supercharged organic catnip last night. We rolled around on the stair landing - it was gooood stuff. I even forgot that I hate Beckham, and let him lick me. When I realized it, I couldn't get clean fast enough.

Yuck! Dog breath!


My 11th birthday...

October 31st 2004 11:15 pm
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Today was birthday. I'm never very excited about my birthday being on October 31st, seeing how it falls on the devil's holiday. My mom and dad were nice enough to let me celebrate my birthday last Wednesday instead. They bought me a Big Mama Scratch-o-Rama pad and a furry pink catnip Barbie slipper. I liked both of them. The scratch pad helps me sharpen the claws of my pokey paw of fury!

I'm not sure I should admit this in public, but I did indulge in a bit of organic catnip on Wednesday during my birthday celebration. There are reports that I was rolling around on the scratch pad and bunny-feeting the Barbie slipper. I don't know if these reports are true, due to the amount of catnip I ingested, but that certainly does not sound like an 11 year old dignified feline such as myself!

I'm off to nap in my bed again, it's one of those days.



What part of MEOW don't you understand, Beckham?

November 2nd 2004 1:02 am
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Beckham insists on trying to lick me every night. I am not amused. If he continues this behavior I will have no other choice but to use the Pokey Paw on his eye again, sending him to the vet. I hope we can resolve this issue without the use of force, but be afraid, Beckham, be very afraid!!


Jungle Kitty

November 21st 2004 10:20 pm
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Today, I managed to escape the confines of the house. Well...I guess I didn't technically 'escape' as my mom held the door open for me. She claims there are coyotes, traffic and other dangers for kitties outside. Fortunately, she does sometimes let me out in to the backyard (in California we use this term VERY loosely - more like a patio) but ONLY when she's out there to supervise.

I explored a bit through the few plants my mom has been unable to kill yet, and enjoyed the outdoors. Then all of sudden, my mom rushed over and picked me up and took me inside. I meowed loudly and told her " Hey! I didn't say it was time to come in yet!". Once, inside, my mom said..."Eww...Sparky was eating the plant that Beckham always pees on, gross!!!".

Ugh. I am so humiliated. This is really a low-point in my jungle kitty career.

I am writing to Sandy Paws and asking him for a Kittywalk Patio system or a Kittywalk Kitty Kabana. That would solve some of my problems. I would be safe from coyotes & traffic (according to my worrywart mom) and I could enjoy the fresh air without accidentally eating a plant that Beckham pees on!


Nurse SparkyLou

November 27th 2004 7:22 am
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My mom has had the stomach flu for a few days now. I have been very busy making sure that she is attended to. I lay next to her, with my right back foot flopped over her arm while I sleep. This is very therapeutic for her. I have attempted to monitor her temperature with my paw (by putting it in her mouth), but she refuses, so I have to make do with using my claws to open her lips while she's sleeping.

I love having the responsiblity of taking care of her and I like to think I am very good at nursing!


Have a blessed 2005!

January 1st 2005 9:49 am
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Hi everyone, I'm back. I hope everyone had a great Christmas and New Year's Eve.

Sandy Paws brought me lots of stuff. He brought me a super deluxe cardboard cat scratcher, a new fur mouse, some fur catnip dots, and a big container of organic catnip (the best in my purrsonal opinion).

Luna & I spent most of Christmas Day on the landing of the stairs rolling about in the catnip and using the cat scratcher. When anyone looked at us I'd meow loudly and tell them to stop looking and don't take any pictures! It might compromise my position in the community if anyone saw me indulging in so much catnip...

Last night, my mom was helping the girl clean her room when they heard very loud caterwauling in the stairway - unfortunately, my mom looked down in to the stairway and saw me meowing with a catnip dot *in* my mouth, which I promptly dropped when I made eye contact with her. My mom claims it was covered in drool, but I know nothing of the sort!


An extra present for me!

January 9th 2005 7:31 am
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My mom finally got around to unwrapping a Christmas gift from my Great-Aunt Janice who is living in Germany. Aunt Janice is my favorite, because she serves me ice water in glass cups so I can lick the condensation off the sides, and she knows how to give a mean kitty massage. Purrr...the gift was a Ms. Clavel doll! Ms. Clavel is the nun in Madeline - ooh! A nun action figure! I am thrilled. I told my mom to sit her right next to my leopard print cat bed on top of the tv. I will make her take a picture one of these days.


And as for those reports of me caterwauling late at night with a fluffy toy in my mouth, all heresy! I would never do such a thing. If I am ever up late at night it is only to pray, and then right back to napping, er...meditating.


The Winter of My Discontent

February 15th 2005 12:54 pm
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It has been a while since I have written due to the new test of patience that has been thrust upon me. Shortly after my last diary entry my parents brought home some sort of evil pig-monster they call "Adora". They have attempted to justify bringing this creature into my home by saying that she is a "French Bulldog" and a "Baby", I accept neither explanation and stand firmly in my belief that it is a evil, evil, piglet. This "Adora" insists on barking at me and trying to sniff me. When I refuse politely (and try to scratch her eyes out) Ding-Dong Hound #1 ( Beckham) rushes over to defend Adora, which of course only entices me further to destroy them both.

Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers as I suffer through this very trying time...

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SparkyLou (In loving memory)


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