Very upsetting

My human is making a cat toy with cat nip and it is NOT for me! It smells so good... I keep trying to help/chew/slobber on it and she will not let me. She told me I was being a bother, got out an old toy for me and put the new toy away. Just wait until she goes to bed tonight: I may have to go toy hunting.

My chair

My human is sitting in my chair and I want it back.

I know where the pigeons sleep

My human is dumb. She opened the balcony door the other night to take a picture of the moon and -haha!- I snuck out right past her. I went looking for the pigeons. They like to sleep on the railings of the balcony next door (it's connected to our balcony and divided by a partition that has an opening that conveniently fits me). I gave the pigeons a scare which was highly satisfying. They woke up and squawked and flew away. I am such a good pigeon terrorizer. I also gave my human a scare by disappearing on the balcony. That was not as satisfying because she yelled at me.

We are NOT amused

I am very upset. I have had a horrendous time.

My human finally got up to feed me this morning (lazy little thing tried to sleep in) and my food bowl was full of ants (I got a mouthful of them before I realized what was wrong - disgusting and they tickled my mouth).

My human had to throw away all the food that was in the bowl and cleaned the whole area before she would give me more food. I think that that was very inconsiderate what with my taking the time to supervise her cleaning at all.

And then, just to make matters worse, she MOVED my food bowl to the other side of the kitchen and did weird stuff with baby powder around it (some silly thing she read on the internet while I supervised). I do not want ants in my food either but I do not like where my food bowl is now. I like its old place. I follow my human every time she goes into the kitchen and cry, just to make sure she knows how I feel. I think the ants should move to the other side of the kitchen, not my food bowl.

Birds

I found where the birdfeeders are! I now climb onto the kitchen table to watch them and chirp at them (come to me, birdies!!!). My human and the lady with the scary chair try to get mad but for some reason they keep laughing. It lets me get away with it but I am rather indignant about the laughter. I am, after all, doing some serious bird supervising.

Casey hearts the big bird

I generally am not impressed with human food (Fancy Feast is far superior) though the other day, I discovered something rather tasty in the human food department: duck! Mmmmm...

I am once again in the big fish house (that also has duck!). I am now afraid of the lady with the sore paw. She has that big chair with wheels and races around in it (I'm afraid she will run me over) and she makes lots of noise going up and down the stairs and then sometimes (this is what really upsets me!) she moves the sofa cushions.

The linen closet is a tease

The linen closet is open a crack and it is taunting me. I must get in there. I have spent the morning on my hind legs pawing at the opening. It will not open but I am proud to report that I knock down a whole pile of blankets.

My human is useless. I tried to get her support and assistance and she laughed, pulled out a camera (the nerve!), tried to take a picture (ha! I would not give her an action shot and glared at her until she put the miserable item away) and then went back to working on the papers that she did not let me sit on yesterday.

Hmph.

Winter haiku

The white stuff outside:
It is so cold on my paws.
Make it go away!

Important business

I had important business to attend to this morning. I had returned to my appartment that I share with my human and there were pigeons outside the window! I obviously had to rouse my human from her state of half-deadedness because of course she would want to know about the pigeons invading our balcony and my important work defending it.

Mmmm... Pigeon snacks...

It's been scary!

So, my human did it again: she left me to fend for myself with the man who catches the fish. He is very good at giving me Fancy Feast but he takes it away if I don't eat it right away and, let me tell you, he's as crazy as my human with all the stuff he gets up to.

I have been kept busy supervising his crazy projects. He put bars up on the walls by all the staircases. First he has a beepie thing that makes lots of noise and he has to run that and make it beep along all the walls, then he gets angry and makes scary noises because the beepy thing isn't working and has to go get another beepy thing to start all over again. Then he had to drill and hammer and leave strange long pieces of wood around the house.

He finally finished that, got lots of fish (mmmm....) and my human came back. I was relieved and thought we were back to normal. But then, they brought out the vacuum. The crazy fish man and my crazy little human took turns and vacuumed the whole house. I got upset and climbed up as high as I could to supervise from a distance.

And just when I thought my humans couldn't get any crazier, the lady who cooks the fish came home from the vet. I was happy to see her because I had been worried about her and her hurt paw but she was acting scary too so I had to hide for awhile. She has big things that she moves around in and makes lots of noise moving around. I am very concerned about the big chair with wheels that she uses. It's a scary chair and I worry that she might try to chase me down in it so I run away from it but try to sneak around it when it isn't moving to have a cuddle with her.

I am obviously falling behind on my universe supervision if I have allowed all of this insanity to occur. I must return to my duties. I fear I have been away for too long.