The first thing I did...

when I arrived at the Bridge....well, I really barely had time to get my bearings...suddenly I was, ahhh how to put this, I was downright fat! I had "belly hang low" and that's something not seen on my frame in many a year.

Anyway, I took a minute to admire my new muscular *ahem* physique when I saw a grey tabby streak by. I about lost my kibble when I heard it... "MOW WOW" with a distinct laughing tone underneath.

Suddenly, out of the trees streaked Bratty Kitty. Bratty! I ran up to him and swatted him three times in the face!!!

Hmmpphh.

So that was the first thing I did. Bratty and I caught up later and I met many nice furs.

About my passing:

It was hard I know for mom to say goodbye. For her to make that call was difficult...she kept asking..."what can I do" and "what else can be done" and there were no more answers. I couldn't eat...my mouth hurt terribly bad. My thyroid was making me crazy...I was shutting down in a lot of ways and it was a slow process. I wasn't having any fun...and I couldn't nap for...like...ever. I know it was with much love that I was sent here. I went to sleep in mom's arms and woke up here. I miss being picked up and held though, and wish I could lean in for a "hug" one last time. But I have Bratty (Swat!) showing me around and the food is good.

I'd like to thank a lot of wonderful catsters who purred and prayed and wished me and my family well these last hard weeks. In no particular order: Emmy and her family, Aragorn, Catsy, Sagan and family, Tyler Mr. Boombastic, Alex, Sally Maria, all the Olde Furts, Delyte, Bella and her family, Sampson and family, Scooter, Doc, Nigel and family, Morey Amsterdam, Buddie, Elsa, Kit, Freckles, Wyatt James, Smokey, Lady, Rufus, Ko, Isaac (kiss!), Tweetie, Mackenzie, Tony and family, Moozer's family, hooch, Whisper and family, Bethany Hope and family, Sky, Baby, Edgar and family, Rusty, Apollo, and Drifter's family. Lots of Pms and Rosies and forum posts and stuff, I'm sure I've forgotten a cat or several, but know that every kind word and thought was helpful in getting us through this time. Thanks to the Bridge kittes and RBK group for welcoming me!

Hazel Lucy, for everything you do and the Purr List and all the support...you're a real gem. Keep on purrin!

As for me...I'm busy catching up with the FOOD.

Open the gates...a princess is arriving

It is with great sadness that I must report today my precious little pretty yellow-eyed, silky fur princess has left for the bridge.

She was assisted by her mom and her much-loved dad...she was fearless and went peacefully...so very peaceful. I know she is now able to get much needed rest.

I am with heavy heart, and I will miss her. She's been with me since she was 8 weeks old, through 17 years of growing up together. Losing her is like losing a part of myself.

I don't know what else to say, except thank you again Catsters, for everything wonderful about this community. Every kind word and rosie and prayer is much appreciated.

Note from mom

Wuss fights on. Which is hard....for all her moxy, she's really just not getting any better.

We've increased her thyroid meds...twice. Each time, it seems as if there is some improvement, but then she returns to crazy town. Again, she is not resting...just pacing and yelling. She won't stop for more than 2 or 3 minutes. She is not soothed by pets or cuddles.

Her alprazolam is now completely ineffective unless you count making her unsteady on her feet.

Her abscess, well if I had to take a guess, I'd say the infection is probably not as bad, but she has not regained her ability to eat. Her tongue is seriously impeded by it, and has not improved. She seems unable to do much on her own but dunk her face. She is almost through with her antibiotics.

She's pretty much constantly being syringe fed, several cans a day, whatever I can get in her. Despite the near constant nourishment, she never appears sated. When she eats, it is as if she is near starving, yet no amount of food satisfies her. I don't know if she's just burning through it because of her thyroid or what.

I will take her back to the vet as soon as I can, today hopefully...but honestly, at this point, even if I could wait out the mouth issue, I really am starting to fear that she's developed a immunity to the thyroid med. I'm handling enough methimazole to knock myself out, but it doesn't seem to touch her.

She's fighting, of that there's no doubt. I told the vet that anything to be done should be for her benefit, and not mine. I can't ignore the look I'm starting to see in her eyes. She's tired and can't rest, she's starving and can't eat. I wish I had better news.

It's hard for me to make that decision because she has an incredible amount of fight, but I'm starting to see that if I allowed it, this little toughie would fight until her body gave out. She's already so incredibly tiny and bony. I wish I didn't have to type this, but I think it really might be time

Holy Cat!

Meow-wow!

There's a lot of support flowing my way, and I just wanted to take a minute to say thank you...each and every one of your comments and rosies are bolstering my spirit.

Might be a bit too early to tell, but we may be seeing just a hint of improvement, although it was a bit of a rough night that had mom up at 3am for feeding. I seem to be eating a tad better on my own today. Keep them paws crossed!

It's Not My Time, Not Today!

Hey Cats!

I see mom has been busy keeping my diary updated...she sure has been busy worrying about me.

See, I know I'm not entirely ok right now, but nor am I some sickly weak elderly cat. I have a spring in my step, as evidenced today by my graceful leap from the exam table, and I did ask for belly rubs today and performed happy paws for teary mom. She saw as I lifted a paw to clean my face (I want to groom!) before remembering I couldn't.

Thankfully, my issues have proved to not be of the dental nature. I do however have a large abscess underneath my tongue, which I can tell you, HURTS. I'm doing my best to keep eating, but I've lose some more precious ounces, and am now 4 pounds even. I'm a sight...that's for sure.

Today, we were given Clavamox for the infection and Buprenex for pain (mom said no-no-no to the metacam they offered). Vet said with luck, we should see improvement in 48 hours or so. Mom will be syringe feeding me to help me out, but don't think I will make it easy for her.

I'm a tough one see...

But not entirely out of the woods. Given the back-to-back health issues these last few months, the vet says we might be looking at systemic infection, constant problems. On the other hand, if I can get rid of this tongue thing, eat normally, put some weight back on, get the thyroid rechecked...we might not be ready to give up just yet.

The next few days will be critical, but I can tell you, I will fight tooth and claw....as I always do.

Wuss...fighting...

Tomorrow Wuss will return to the vet.

I believe her thyroid is coming under control. In a lot of ways, she's returning to her old self...amount of rest, amount of talking. But she hasn't come to sit with dad on the couch like she does for several days now, but she isn't doing any kind of hiding either.

Unfortunately, she's still having the difficulty with her mouth. I am unsure if its a matter of dental issues, or perhaps some sort of neuro-event when she was crazy. In any case, she appears to have either forgotten how to eat or is just having that much difficulty. She is getting whatever sustenance I can get into her, her appetite seems fine! But she can only lap up little bits of pureed canned food. She's taking in her pills now with either baby food or a bit of ice cream.

She has stopped grooming altogether. I'm keeping her as clean as I can, but her inability to eat properly always leaves her with puree all over her face and nose. She's looking pretty rough, which is really hard to see as she was always my "sweet fur" kitty.

Tomorrow I'll see if anything can be done about her mouth condition. I don't think she'd be able to do a dental..I don't even know what to hope for here. I want to do what's right....I just wish I knew what that was. She doesn't seem entirely without spunk or fight, but she clearly is not enjoying her time right now either. If I can improve that for her I will, but if I can't ...

I think it might be time. I don't want to give up too soon. I wish I could ask her, but she remains mum, all I can do is whisper words of love and encouragement. Tomorrow we'll know....

Wuss Holds Her Own

An update on my princess..

Wuss went back to the vet last week, and while we didn't run any bloodwork, as she just had it and it's quite obvious her thyroid level is absolutely rampant, she was given fluids again and sent home with alprazolam to help calm her...give the methimazole a chance to do it's thing.

The alprazolam seems to be working, my little girl is able to get some rest.

She's having some trouble with her mouth now...not sure if its due to the med or her dental issues...so she's getting a slurry of food and water that she seems to struggle a little less with. This seems to have improved a little bit the last couple days. There's not a chance she'd survive a full dental at this stage...

I'm shocked at her decrease in water consumption and urination. I'm really hoping this is the thyroid coming under control. (She is still functioning in both areas however...)

She has given up grooming mostly altogether...so mom gives her sponge baths to combat stinky kitty syndrome.

But the good news is, she is holding her own. She hasn't gotten any worse this week.

Wuss may be holding on to life number nine. I feel the time I have left with her slipping away. I am not giving up, but I am preparing myself. I've given Wuss the best life I could...and I believe she has enjoyed being ours. I will see to it she has whatever comfort we can provide...I will see to it her days remain peaceful. I trust her to let me know when it stops being enough...

Not looking too good

Despite having recently doubled Wuss' meds, and some initial improvement, Wuss has again become very agitated, pacing without rest and yell yell yelling. I switched her back to a pill (she was on transdermal) yesterday and gave her another this morning and am seeing virtually no improvement.

If anything, it's getting worse. I haven't seen her rest at all since I came home from work at 5pm yesterday. Just the yelling and the jogging back and forth. It does not appear that she is in any pain, she's eating well and going to the bathroom, but not drinking as much as I'd like. She won't sit still long enough. She doesn't want to be held or petted like usual.

In about an hour, I'm going to call her vet. I don't know what to expect at this point but if there's a way to get this under control, we'll find it.

A good nights rest..now that my meds are doubled

Well, it's been a while since I've updated my diary so I thought I'd check in. Mom's still been pretty worried about me. I'm eating, but I'm drinking LOTS of water. I'm not having any "accidents" anymore, so that's a good thing.

And yes Mom, you just walk away with that IV bag....just keep on going....Monkey's right over there. I'll have no part of that thank you very much.

Lately though, I've been restless. I've been yelling. Lots. I just haven't been myself. I'm not supposed to go to the vet until next month, but unfortunately, Mom decided earlier would be good. I've lost weight. Mom started to get concerned that I was in pain.

So this last Caturday, off we went. Mom unzips the top of the carrier so I can pop my head up and peek around the car. The vet wanted to run a mini panel blood work and check my thyroid.

So I have Dr Megan now. She's really nice too and I guess we'll keep her for a while. I am always a very good girl for bloodwork. Then Dr Megan went into the room where mom and dad were...and next thing I know, here she comes with the IV bag. OH CAT NO!~ @&%%$

Well they put some fluids in me anyway and Dr Megan agreed that I'm a rather feisty gal when it comes to sub-q fluids. She can see that it's not a great home option for me. Hmmppphh....told you.

Then on Monday, we finally have an answer... my thyroid is ridiculously high. Should be under 4.0....and it's somewhere over 11.0.
Now I get two ear cream doses a day and I have to go see Dr Megan again in a few weeks to adjust the med again if necessary.

I'm already calming down some. Mom's kicking herself for not getting me in sooner, but I was JUST THERE....and my thyroid was fine and everything. My weight is down to 4.4 lbs....which is a big concern. Mom has taken to calling me "bird bones" and I'm not impressed. Hopefully, I'll hold my weight more when the thyroid comes down.

Anyway, I'm holding my own and I'm feisty as ever. We're working on getting that T4 back down and then we'll see where we are. But for now, I will just settle into a nice, calm, regular metabolism sleep. zzzzzzzz.

She's only seventeen....seventeen!

Whew!

Who'd have thought I would have made it this far?

So my shoulders have gone a little salt-and-peppery. So my weight is down, my thyroid's up, my teeth are not so great.

I'm still a bee-boppin and skattin!

I have completed my antibiotics and have been cleared of any lingering infection at my last urine sample a few weeks ago. They sent it for a "culture" and it was normal. The vet thinks I am likely heading into the fun-times that is CRF, but at my age, it's bound to be something I guess.

My creatinine is holding steady but I am "chronically dehydrated" and I won't allow fluids under most circumstances.

THAT'S how much fight I have left.

Everything else is just meowy. Mom pet me til I fell asleep yesterday. There's food in my bowl, and toys in my box. Life is good!

Thanks to all the Furts who stopped by in the Birthday thread or rosettes of good wishes!! You guys rock!

Best wishes and meows for another happy, mostly healthy year.

Love,

Wuss