March 27th 2013 7:22 am
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There was a past Catster site article titled: "My Tripod Would Be the Alpha Cat If It Weren't For Her Missing Leg"
What? I knew that I was special and I was slowly asserting my right(s) as the true Queen and Alpha even before I (wrestled with the alligator who thought my leg would "taste like chicken" ) had my amputation surgery.
But, it all became the most clear to me that I was not "like them" [Nuk and Gabby] when I got my own "Recovery Condo". Once I got out of that condo (and the Cone of Shame) it was time to put my paw down, so to meow.
Like a boss... I can make the humans do all of the stupid human tricks that I've taught them.
"Turn the water on, turn it off, now turn it on again" "Give me your sofa seat and you sit on the floor". "Lift me up, there where I'm looking at - get it?"
I can make the humans also do a ridiculous dance. All I need to do is walk in front of them and suddenly drop and plop over on my side. Oh that one is so highly amusing that if you haven't tried it for yourself, I suggest you do! The graceless, awkward moves that ensue from your human will have you smiling for days. Days!
Like a boss... I can make the Striped Nuisance take a wide path around me, with just a look in his direction. More hilarity!
When Nuk wants be "somewhere" and I'm in his way, he walks around me. Giving me a wide berth and wary glances that say "Look, I'm avoiding you, so could you, you know, maybe avoid launching yourself at me?"
Like a boss... I get *my* way and get what I want 98% of the time. (The other 2% is split between my not having or being able to do "things that are dangerous/harmful to me" and what I can only assume is general human contrariness)
Like a boss... I'm not afraid of the snow and I get the most outdoor "porch time"
Like a boss... I show benevolence and tolerance towards the Wookie. (Unless she's in her super-annoying playful young-one mode and thinks that I'm her toy)
Like a boss... When our litter boxes are scooped in the morning, I'm the first one who goes and "makes her mark".
Like a boss... I am never "rousted" from a sleeping place. If I am sleeping comfortably on the bed and a human wants to take a nap, the human also knows that he/she/they must arrange themselves around me - NOT the other way around.
I'm "like a boss" because I am the boss!
MOL! I do the water trick too and the bed trick, but you have me beat big time because you do it with (only) three legs. Pawsome awsome!
I think I saw you in that movie "Horrible Bosses."
whoa girl I sure thought I was a boss (tiny mighty moe) but you sure got those humans that love you very trained and even the other furballs there have been well trained MOL keep up the good work.
oh, my twin!!! these humans are so limited that they cannot even recognize reality... as if it was a question of legs - not brain - that makes a boss in civil surroundings! i agree - in dumb, superficial environments it can be legs or colors or fur lenghts or nose shapes or... that makes THEM consider one creature to be inferior/superior. but we know it better, don't we?
tricolor brains plus girl power! that's the key to rule! and when even striped nuisances do understand there seems hope for an amount of humankind... ;)
You told them, didn't you Sweets?!! Love the sleeping arrangement, MOL!