Trapped...Again

I got us trapped in the office this week. Daddy came to our rescue, thankfully! It’s not the first time! Here’s what happened…

The doors to the office and bedroom have a tendency to swing partially closed if there’s nothing holding them open, so Meowmy has a bookend to hold them open when needed. The office is always open because that’s where our kitty box is. As a kitten I found the bookends to be irresistible fun toys and I have a habit of playing with them. I know I shouldn’t because it always leads to problems, but I just can’t help myself. Anyway, usually when the bookend isn’t there, us kitties play games with the door. I have my own game where I just play with the door and swing it back and forth. I usually push it closed by accident. But the four of us have a game we can all play together. It’s the “Around the Door” game. The two girls were on the outside in the hallway, and Dusty and I were inside the office. We hide behind the door and peak out and try to swat at the kitties on the other side. It’s a test of our speed, accuracy and agility. But I ALWAYS lose. My balance is off, so is my aim…sometimes I hit the door when I mean to hit the kitty. I accidentally closed the door shut and Meowmy was at work at the time. Me and Dusty got trapped in there. I don’t know how long we were in there for, because I wasn’t paying attention to the time. It seemed like furever. Dusty was mad at me the whole time. He said I should get some glasses so I can see straight. But then I heard the outer door open and it was Daddy! He saw the closed door and the two girls standing by it. He opened the door and let us free! It was just in time, too, because my tummy was grumbling! I can’t stand being without my precious food!

Mr. Mom

That’s right, I’m Mr. Mom. You can laugh all you want, but I LIKE being Mr. Mom. And yes, I tend to be a bit afraid of little baby kitties at first. But once I start to realize they’re not evil Gremlins conspiring to attack me, I actually get along with them quite well. The little ones are actually pretty cute too and very friendly. You’d think I’d easily get used to the idea of new furballs in the house, since I’ve already dealt with the introduction of two other baby kitties…Dusty and Mia. I suppose my CH has just made me really afraid of change. CHANGE IS BAD! Ok, well maybe I’m exaggerating, but it always seems bad at first! Anyway, to get back to my story…I love my family. I have always enjoyed cleaning Meowmy’s chin and hair, giving her sandpaper kisses in the wee hours of the morning. And having siblings, especially baby ones, is equally nice. When Dusty was a little guy I cleaned him and kitten-sat for Meowmy all the time. I helped when Mia came along too. Now I find myself acting the same way with the foster babies, even though they’re not technically family. They like to cuddle up next to me on the chair. I usually groom them and it make them fall asleep. Dusty thinks it’s gross. Meowmy found it very helpful though…and just a little bit gross when I started cleaning off their tushes. She says I must have been a momma cat in another life because I certainly act like I’m one. But I told her she can call me Mr. Mom, thank you very much. It’s 2007 not 1957! I can take care of the little ones and still be a manly man! If you’re laughing at me now, it only means that you’re just jealous!

The Secret's Out!

As I write this, I feel like such a fraud. I’ve been lying about this for so long; I think I actually started to believe it myself. I guess it’s time I finally came clean to everyone else, now that Meowmy finally found out my secret. I am no Houdini, my furiends. Yes, this is the sad truth. I have no special tricks at all. When I first saw Meowmy’s reaction to my collar being off it made me feel good because she was so surprised. She had no idea how I could possibly do it, it made me feel special. With my disability I usually feel awkward and made fun of. I liked that she didn’t know the truth and thought I was cunning enough and coordinated enough to do it myself. What really happens is my brother Dusty takes it off whenever we get into a really rough wrestling match. It’s purely accidental. It’s loose enough to pull off over my head, even without the safety latch. He pulls on it with his paw and there it goes…to the floor. Course by the time it’s fully off the latch is usually opened which makes it look like less of an accident. It used to be fun fooling my pawrents. Now I’m just embarrassed to admit that I didn’t do it myself and took all the credit for Dusty’s crafty work. *Sigh*

I'm So Excited, And I Just Can't Hide It...

It was about 2 and a half years ago that I lost a part of my man-hood. But I still feel a little shall we say, “frisky” every now and then. Even as a kitten, Meowmy noticed I was getting a little too excited. One day she caught me trying to learn the moves on my big brother, Sneakers. That was it for Meowmy! She had me fixed right away. The crazy vet told Meowmy I was too “immature” at the time. She didn’t want to wait to find out what “mature” was in that case, and didn’t let them wait on the surgery. Lucky for me, I still knew how to get my groove on.

For the past 2 years, I’m embarrassed to say, I’ve been forced to use the sheets or Meowmy’s clothes to relieve my desires. But with Mia getting older, I got that Girl kitty smell all over the house and it’s making me “frisky” more often! I don’t know what to do about it! I know she’s supposed to be my little adopted sister, and since she is so little I haven’t done anything to her. I’ve been good. But today I just snapped…I hallucinated that Dusty was a girl and oops! I got yelled at before anything could really get crazy. Which is good for me, I don’t want other kitties thinking I can’t tell the difference between a boy and a girl kitty! My balance may be off but everything else still works fine! The fluffy fur just got to me and he became that pretty white kitty from the Fancy Feast commercials. She’s a hottie! That is a girl kitty, right? Now I’m questioning myself…

Then because he reminded me of that hottie, I’ve been pretty mad at him lately. I’ve been biting him and pulling out some of his girly fluffy fur! I was just trying to make him look manly. He shoulda been a girl so I could have had a girlfriend! Instead Meowmy brought me a bossy little brother! Meowmy doesn’t trust me around him anymore. I don’t think I blame her for that. But I do blame her for closing her bedroom off all summer (when the A/C is on). That's where I used to get my groove on by myself and now I can't!

Sshh Don't Wake Up Meowmy!

So lately I've been taking my collar off every other day or so. Meowmy wasn't too happy with it this morning because Mia got a hold of it. She kept running around the house with it in her mouth and then throwing it around playfully. When she does that my tag clinks against the wood floor and wakes Meowmy up. It was probably 5 in the morning, so it was pretty bad timing on Mia's part. Meowmy's a bit grumpy in the morning, especially when one of us kitties wake her up for something...well she's a bit lenient when it's waking up for pets. I usually try to stay away from her until her eyes are fully open. Mia is still clueless on the whole "Don't wake up Meowmy" rule, though. She's too busy playing to care. She even wakes me up sometimes! Maybe next time I'll take my collar off when Meowmy's at work...that way I get to be free longer!! And that way I won't awaken the Grumpy in her!

What Happened to Meowmy?!

Meowmy has been waking up looking a bit funny lately. About a month ago she woke up with puffy bags under her eyes that made her look like an ogre. She was embarrassed to go to work those days and had to get a prescription from her Allergist. Then today she woke up with a fat upper lip. I couldn’t tell if it looked more like someone hit her or if she looked like a model that had collagen injections. All I can say is that it was hard not to stare at her! I almost thought it wasn’t my Meowmy that was walking around our house. She told me that the puffy eyes and fat lip were on account of us kitties, but she wasn’t mad. She’s allergic to kitties, especially Dusty with his long fur. She always knew she was allergic, but never had a long haired kitty so didn’t know how bad it could be. She’s not the type to puff up just by being in the same room. Normally she’s ok with us, but these summer months we’re shedding and she keeps getting our fur on her. The first night it was a Dusty fur in her eye. Last night it musta been on her lip. Poor Meowmy, I gave her kisses and loves because I felt bad. She looked so silly it was hard not to laugh. She said her ogre collagen face isn’t gonna stop her from huggin’ and pettin’ on us kitties! Which I’m glad!

Houdini

Meowmy has officially nicknamed me Houdini. On account of my mastering the “No-Paws Collar-Removal Trick”. She still has no idea how I do it. I’m not so sure how I do it either. She is dying to catch me and video tape it. Because nobody would ever believe an uncoordinated kitty, such as myself, could remove his collar all by himself. You see, I’ve been taking my collar off ever since she started making me wear the things. I used to have one that buckled. She was worried I’d choke myself, when trying to remove them, and switched me to this one that pulls off when tugged. Of course, it’s better for me, because I can take them off more often! I hadn’t figured out how to work this new collar, so I have had it on me for a few months already…not even an hour of freedom! She thought I had given up my trickery, but she was very wrong indeed. I took it off four times last week! Once Friday, twice Saturday, then again on Sunday! I’m going to try to break my record…but I think I’m driving meowmy nuts.