THE CATS PRAYER
Although I am too proud to beg, and may appear to be a very independent
creature, I ask for your loving care and attention.
-
Translation: I'm the boss, serve me
I rely on you for my well being much more than you may realize.
-
Translation: Go out and earn money to keep me in the style
to which I've become accustomed
This I promise you, my benefactor: that I will not be a burden on you, nor
shall I demand more of you than you can give.
- Translation:
Buy me more catnip
I will be a quiet peaceful island of serenity for you to gaze upon; a soft
soothing body to caress, and I shall purr with pleasure to rest your weary
ears.
- Translation: I will claw your furniture, I will
knock Christmas ornaments off your Christmas tree, I will bring mice and birds
into the house, then eat them while you are enjoying your morning coffee, I will
want to play at 3:AM...
I pray you will feed me and change my water bowl daily.
-
Translation: I need Evian water, changed at least six times
per day, chilled but not too cold. Don't even think about giving me that dry
crunchy crap.
I pray that you allow me a warm, secure, sheltered place where I can sleep
peacefully.
- Translation: Don't you dare wake me. I
know where you sleep, and will get revenge - like sleep on your face, or crap in
your shoe.
When I become old and infirm, allow me the comfort and dignity of my closing
days by easing me gently from my pain and passing.
-
Translation: When I've had enough of being pampered, please
send me to my next reincarnation, where I look forward to being satisfactorily
served once more.
Author Unknown