Catster

THE CATS PRAYER

Although I am too proud to beg, and may appear to be a very independent creature, I ask for your loving care and attention.
- Translation: I'm the boss, serve me

I rely on you for my well being much more than you may realize.
- Translation: Go out and earn money to keep me in the style to which I've become accustomed

This I promise you, my benefactor: that I will not be a burden on you, nor shall I demand more of you than you can give.
- Translation: Buy me more catnip

I will be a quiet peaceful island of serenity for you to gaze upon; a soft soothing body to caress, and I shall purr with pleasure to rest your weary ears.
- Translation: I will claw your furniture, I will knock Christmas ornaments off your Christmas tree, I will bring mice and birds into the house, then eat them while you are enjoying your morning coffee, I will want to play at 3:AM...

I pray you will feed me and change my water bowl daily.
- Translation: I need Evian water, changed at least six times per day, chilled but not too cold. Don't even think about giving me that dry crunchy crap.

I pray that you allow me a warm, secure, sheltered place where I can sleep peacefully.
- Translation: Don't you dare wake me. I know where you sleep, and will get revenge - like sleep on your face, or crap in your shoe.

When I become old and infirm, allow me the comfort and dignity of my closing days by easing me gently from my pain and passing.
- Translation: When I've had enough of being pampered, please send me to my next reincarnation, where I look forward to being satisfactorily served once more.

Author Unknown