I'm tired of playing dress-up

I don't know what the deal is--but our human keeps dressing us up in these crazy outfits and taking our pictures. She promises us treats for it and says they will be on this years holiday card. Last time I checked she didn't take a picture of herself in some wacky outfit and mail it to the world; and when she wants a treat she doesn't do something that makes her look ridiculous first.

Ezzie, Violet and I talked about putting an end to the insanity. Ezzie started out okay-she put up a fuss when she was in the angel costume. I was so proud of her. Then, next thing you know she's in this Santa costume and she's all posy and wanting to be pet. So much for a united front against this ridiculousness!

Then Violet get's on the angel costume and she didn't run like she usually does. She stayed and posed for a few pictures. I couldn't believe my eye; should I have not believed my ears either...we had an agreement ladies!

After that I had to give in. I mean, I'm not going to be looking like the bad cat--besides, I like those treats she gave us.

Oy vay!!

The other day...my human sitting in bed watching this show where women think they are cats??? They walk thte "cat walk" and try to look " fierce"..whatever...she is a junky of this show. I like the leader of the show...Tyra...I think she would be fun to live with...and her name would be a good kitty name too.

Hmmmm...

So, I walk up to my human and put my paws on her and my chin on her and she eats this up...."Oh Jasper...you love me, don't you?" I purr....then suddenly I start to choke...I start to walk away and she follows me all freaked out.

She is convinced that maybe I have a furr ball..so she takes me in the kitchen...gives me a massage and gives me this Petromalt stuff (I like it!).

The next day my poop sticks to my butt furr...which I think might have been from the Petromald? I don't know.

My human tried to wipe it off, but it was a mess so she put me in the bathroom sink and ran the water all over me...I was soaked from the waist down. After awhile I didn't like it and my human put me down...I ran around our house...then she found me and wrapped me in a towel and started trying to look at my butt again...(sometimes I wish she would let me be...so what if I'm stinky??)

Now I hear her telling people that she is going to trim my butt fur??

Apparently I'm part Norwegian Forest Cat

So, my mom was looking at pictures of cats that are part of a cat show and noticed the Norwegian Forest Cat has the exact same body markings as I do. So--this weekend of course she has to keep bringing it up "Jaspirilla, I just found out you are a Norwegian Forest Cat...do you speak Norwegian, Jasper? Should I tell people now that you are bi-lingual?" then..."come here and let me squeeze you you little Norwegian boy..." then "Oh...I love you, love you, love you...you little, handsome, Norwegian Forest Cat."

I'm going to tell my cat friends that she is multi-lingual...she speaks English, a little Italian, French, Russian...but mostly she speaks Crazy talk!

My experience thus far

Okay...so, I'm happy where I'm living...even though the only time I get to go outside is ON A LEASH. It's a bit humiliating, but I take pleasure in the fact that, because of this, the neighbors think my human is an odd-ball.

Ezzie is a good companion: She lets me eat her food when our human isn't around; Being half my size, I can usually overpower her in a wrestling match...but she is energetic and wiggly and pretty good at getting away. She is a good sport: she keeps coming back for more, even when, in our matches, she gets clobbered and knocks her head into the kitchen cabinets (our human sometimes over-reacts to this and starts pleading for us to be "more loving and gentle"--give me a break!).

I'm always happy to see my human; on occasion, however, I have to chill in another room, because when she sees me she keeps picking me up, kissing me and telling me how "handsome" I am...and how much she "loves me"...and how I should be called "Jaspurrfect"... I purr and close my eye when she does this and let her think I love this treatment (hey, I know where my food comes from!).