The Writings of the Divine Miss P.

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Lump of Coal??

November 24th 2007 5:52 pm
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My oh my oh my, The Grinches paid me a visit today! Santa came along too and he left me a lump of coal!

Now some say that a lump of coal is what naughty kitties get at Christmas time. This is obviously not true. I've been a good girl all year. Just ask..., er, um,....let me think a bit here...um....Well, whatever! I'm purrfect in all ways. I know it and that's all that matters. *giggles*

Thank you Grinches for the wonderful gift!

Later kitties. Gotta go find something white to play on with my lovely lump of coal.

 

Concats Bro!!!

November 23rd 2007 6:58 pm
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My bro, Sullivan, finally mustered up the courage to ask his Smudgelet to marry him today. My oh my oh my, she said 'yes'. I'm really happy to have Smudge as my future sister-in-law as she is such a sweetie. My bro has excellent taste in girl kitties (if nothing else). Concats Sullivan and Smudge!!

Now I must say, if a suitor came knocking on my door dressed like my bro was today I'd slam the door shut, lock it, push the sofa in front of it and call the animal control emergency number. I mean really, Sullivan looked like a deranged escapee waiter from an Oktoberfest tent in that outfit he was wearing. I admire Smudge's courage in not running away screaming in terror when he showed up on her doorstep to propose today. Best to go clothesless little bro.

I had a wonderful day too. I went shopping and bought myself a new hat for the upcoming holiday season. I'll be dressed as a perky little elf for my first Christmas in my new home. I'm so excited and giddy. I can't wait to debut my new chapeau on Catster.

Later kitties. Gotta go try on my hat.

 

Laundry Day Gets Canned

November 11th 2007 1:20 pm
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I was helping mother with the laundry today. As she folded and placed things on top of the dryer I immediately jumped on top of the pile to ensure everything stayed nice and flat. Mother loves it when I do this but she also worries that I work too hard. I can tell by the way she guiltily whines out: "Pan-zeeee! Do you mind???"
No mother, I don't mind at all. So glad to help!

While we were doing this we heard loud banging from upstairs, then silence, then clank-clunk-clank-clunk. The clanking and clunking got louder. Something was coming down the stairs towards us! My little ears perked right up. I jumped off the dryer, taking some of the folded laundry with me onto the floor. Mother lovingly whined out my name again.

Suddenly Sullivan appeared. Seriously, there is something wrong with that boy. He came running into the laundry room with a plastic bag hung around his neck. Inside the bag were some empty cat food tins. He came clanking and clunking right up to mother, looking absolutely ridiculous. Mother started laughing at the sight but quickly unbagged him.

Seems my brilliant bro had shaken the cupboard door under the kitchen sink so hard that the screws fell out of the childproof latch that had been installed. He managed to get the door open and then stuck his head into the bag where mother puts the empty cans. She usually empties the bag at night into the recycling bin in the garage. She also routinely cuts the handles on any plastic bags she stores to ensure we don't get hurt. Since this door had a special latch she hadn't bothered to cut the handles on the bag my silly bro got stuck in. Guess she knows better now.

Just between you and me, kitties, I think Sullivan was practising for his wedding. Somekitty needs to tell the poor dear that the groom doesn't tie the tin cans around his neck. They're tied to the carriage he uses to whisk his bride off to their honeymoon.

Later kitties. Gotta go educate my bro.

 

Oopsie

October 27th 2007 2:36 pm
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Oh my oh my oh my! My bro is a little upset with me today. More so than usual. And totally without justification!

Sullivan was prancing around today with his beloved Yeowww cigar when mother noticed something hanging off it. On closer inspection she went "Eeeeew!" as mothers sometimes do. There was a dried hairball stuck to the end of it. Seems that some kitty must have hacked one up onto his cigar last night.

Just because the fur in the hairball was black mother and Sullivan immediately accused me of depositing it on his cigar. Well, perhaps it was me. But what is a girl supposed to do? You get that tickle in your throat and you gotta let loose. It's Sullivan's fault. He should put his toys away before he goes to bed at night. Let this be a lesson for you little bro!

Later kitties. I gotta go clear my throat.

 

Snail Mail

October 11th 2007 8:13 pm
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Oh my oh my oh my, how slow can the mail be? Ages ago mother ordered Shutterfly photo books for me and my undeserving bro. They arrived in about two weeks. With the purchases she was entitled to a whole whack of free photo prints. Well I selected my most beautiful shots for printing and Sullivan selected his. Mother ordered them at the beginning of August. They finally arrived today, 2 months later!!!

I suspect some customs agent had opened the package and was so smitten by my photos that he decided to hold onto them for awhile so he could revel in my beauty. Mother says they probably shipped them by freighter via Cape Horn. Sullivan just scratched his ear and couldn't think of an explanation. My bro is such a deep thinker. NOT!

Speaking of Sullivan he claims he was a Diary pick today. What nonsense. He can't even write coherently. Stop fibbing, little bro, your nose is gonna start growing and you'll look like an anteater.

Later kitties! Gotta go look at my pics.

 

Rescued !!

October 9th 2007 7:31 pm
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I'm so happy to report that Wilbur has been found! My poor little mousie was stuffed under the stove by my wicked brother yesterday. Mother rescued him for me. I had so much fun smacking him around and chewing him this evening. Wilbur is a wonderful playmate!

Keep your paws off my mousie, Sullivan, or I'll have to smack you too!

Later kitties! I have to go tell Wilbur a bedtime story.

 

Happy Thanksgiving !!

October 8th 2007 9:42 am
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Happy Thanksgiving to all you Canadian kitties out there! May your day be filled with lots of treats and turkey!

I'm very thankful for having found a new home this year. Even though Sullivan is here it sure is WAY better than being stuck in a cage at the Humane Society. Oooo, I tremble at the thought! While mother can be a bit trying at times I think I'll keep her.

My oh my oh my I was so thrilled this morning. After breakfast mother presented me wit a gift! Yes!!! It's a brand new furry mousie who I have named Wilbur. Unfortunately, before I had barely got a good sniff at him, Sullivan snatched up my mousie and ran off with him! Now I can't find my Wilbur anywhere. *sniff*

Later kitties! I have a mouse to catch.

 

Pony Up

October 7th 2007 7:34 pm
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Oh my oh my oh my! I got my Thanksgiving turkey today and I am stuffed! Yummy yum yum!
*giggles*

Right now I'm stamping my little paw waiting for my gift. Sullivan got a Yeoww catnip cigar that he's been slobbering over for a couple of days now. It's really quite a disgusting sight to see him with it.

So where is MY present, mother? It's not my anniversary or birthday or any such thing but surely my mere presence in this house warrants at least a small token of appreciation. You agree, don't you kitties?

My favourite green mousie is looking a little ragged. How about a replacement? I could always use a few new spongy balls too. I'm not fussy. Any present will do. But you better pony up now, mother, or I just may leave a little cadeau for you in your shoe!

Later kitties! I'm off to press my case.

 

Marvellous News

September 18th 2007 2:41 pm
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I'm floating on air this afternoon. Oh my oh my oh my, yes I am!

Mother came home this aft and without a word of warning whisked me up and shoved me into my carrier. "We're going to the vet, Pansy", she said. The trip there was terrifying. All I could hear were the mournful wails of a cat in distress. I have no idea where the sounds were coming from. Mother said they were coming from my carrier but she was obviously mistaken. I'm a very brave kitty, and as I've mentioned in the past, always in complete control of my emotions.

When mother first brought me to my new home she took me to the vet for a checkup and blood work to make sure I was healthy and wouldn't infect my bro with something. Can you believe that? Today was a followup visit to see about having some shots and teeth cleaning that the doctor at the time had suggested.

Today we saw a different vet at the clinic and guess what, kitties? I don't need my teeth cleaned right now and best of all - I'VE LOST HALF A POUND!!
He says my weight is fine! Mother said I feel heavy when she picks me up but the doctor just gave her that look, the same one I've been giving her. You know it. It's the one that says 'maybe you should sign up at the gym and build up your muscles a tad, lady'.

The only bad thing that happened was the rabies shot I had to get. Mother is very leary about vaccinations because she lost her very first kitty to VAS. However, we have had bats here flying around at night this summer. Mother says she hasn't seen this since she was a little kid. Just this past week a rabid bat was reported in the city so mother said I had to get the rabies vaccination.
But I tell you it was worth the shot just to hear that I AM NOT OVERWEIGHT!!

Later kitties! Gotta go and celebrate.

 

A Fantasy Come True ??

September 12th 2007 1:34 pm
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OH MY CAT!!! I think HE was HERE!!!

I've been in a fog all day. I can't think clearly. I'm so feverish and giddy.
OMC!!! I think my wildest fantasy has been realized!!!
If not, I can still dream it's true and I am going to do just that!
*giggles*

Another mysterious rosette. With two turtles dancing. A tango perhaps?
It was signed, simply, 'Z'. Oh my oh my oh my. I can hardly bring myself to write the word. Could 'Z' be, could he be..... OMC!!! Could 'Z' be......ZORRO????????????

I've been in old California dancing with HIM all day in my head.

OMC!!! I'm gonna faint before I finish my entry....OMC!!!, ZOR...

*faints*

 
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