June 2nd 2007 12:55 pm
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It's one month today.
April 14, I send out a plea for help for you with hope against hope there would be something to do:
"I took my cat, Chance Elliott, to the vet in January because he was not playing, didn't want to be held and didn't want to sleep on the bed. He was making a weird sound whenever he threw up. He had lost weight.
I had the vet listen to his lungs and he said they were clear. After several visits and more weight loss, it was determined that he had oxalate crystals in his urine and he was put on Hill's Prescription Diet x/d (dry). He improved significantly. Urine had no crystals. He was playing again and insisting on being held and sleeping in bed. Basically, back to his old self ....
Except, he still had an odd sound when he threw up. And, the weight loss.
I continued to worry about it and brought him back to the vet but it didn't seem anything was wrong with him.
Wednesday, I took him and got an x-ray so we could see his lungs and stomach. He has terminal lung cancer that looks like it matastisized from somewhere else but we would need more x-rays to find out.
The vet offered oral steroids but Chance hates to take oral meds and it will upset him every day and since he is dying there doesn't seem a point to that. He then offered a depo-medrol shot to make him more comfortable, help with breathing and help him feel less nauseated and increase his appetite. I agreed to that for him.
The shot appears to have been successful so far and he ate alot on Thursday and Friday and about what he had been eating today and he hasn't thrown up.
The vet said that this cancer would be fast spreading (I can see on the x-ray that it already covers all of both of his lungs) and did not seem to think he would be around much longer. He said he can have another depo-medrol shot every 3-4 weeks. He said when he is no longer enjoying life, I should bring him in to be euthanized.
Thursday, I caught him in the linen closet again making a nice nest in the clean towels. Only about half are in there because the rest are in the laundry. I decided that I would just let him have that. I even put the slicky fabric sheet he steals in there and a bowl of food. It's a good spot for the food because the dog can't get to it. He really seems to enjoy that. When the towels are washed and folded, I'll just put them someplace else for a while.
I need to call the vet back. I want to make sure that I am doing everything that I can for him to make him have the most good days possible. He currently doesn't know he's sick and I would like to stretch that out. Does anyone have any suggestions of things I could ask about?"
I had to get a "new" car but nothing was more important than you!
Early Saturday morning, April 28, you woke me up 3 times to tell me you were hurting. I was able to hold you and pet you and you seemed to feel better. I called your vet to schedule an appointment to get another Depo-Medrol injection too soon (April 11 to April 28 is only 17 days, 4 days shy of 3 weeks). The person making the appointment suggested that I make it for Wednesday instead of that Saturday. I told her I would rather discuss it with the vet and told her that you would need something so I made an appointment. The earliest we could get in was 11 am.
My car was having serious issues and I needed to get another car. I felt I had gotten a message that I was to get this particular red Kia for $3,000 and I needed it before your vet appointment because I was afraid of my car dying before I got you there and back.
I cleaned out my car and went and got $3,000 cash. I drove to the used car place with this Kia. As I pulled in my transmission went and I couldn't shift into any gear. I was in the middle of the lot and trying to get into a parking space. As I was pressing on the clutch while trying to shift, the clutch dropped to the floor and wouldn't come back up. The salesman was headed towards me so I turned off the car, rolled down the window to open the door (the inside latch was broken) and stepped out to see the huge amount of smoke billowing from my car. I had the AAA paperwork on the frontseat if I needed to use it to get home.
The Kia was posted at $4,995. Then, I found out that the 3 month/3,000 mile warranty was about $500 extra. It seemed the best offer I would get with using cash, getting the warranty and "trading in" my car was $3,700. I thought maybe I was mistaken about my message and I should look at another car on the lot. I test drove a Saturn but it had more miles and the interior wasn't as nice. While I was test driving the Saturn, I told God I didn't know what I was supposed to do, they weren't selling me the Kia for $3,000, and I needed to get home to you.
When I got back another couple was there to look at the Saturn. I told the salesmen and the couple that I thought that I would have to buy the Saturn since I couldn't get the deal I thought that I would get on the Kia. (The Saturn was less and the other couple didn't have the money to look at the Kia and we were both insistent that we wanted a manual transmission.)
There were lots of discussions and the owner of the place was called and came in, but I just pet their resident cat in the office and waited. I was starting to worry about the timing but I said some prayers.
The owner was pretty much telling the salesmen to sell me the Saturn and keep the Kia, so I pulled out the envelope with the money and said "I have $3,000 right here if that would help make the deal on the Kia." The owner asked, "You have an even $3,000 in that envelope?" I said, "Yes." The whole place was quiet. The salesmen and owner went in the back room.
They sold me the Kia. The owner even took the Kia to have it's inspection updated so I could a full 60 days to get it licensed.
I kept telling the salesman filling out my paperwork that I needed to hurry so I could get the cat to the vet (You know that you are most important!). He told me that he had never sold a car before noon (let alone two) and that this was the quickest he had sold one. He said he made quota for the month. And, the other couple waiting patiently was very happy to get the Saturn.
I drove home, picked you up in the fire engine red (same color as your collar) Kia and took you to the vet. You got another Depo-Medrol shot and within 20 minutes I could tell you were feeling better.
The vet said he would see us in 2 weeks for another shot. I daydreamed that we would have a long time left.
You played with Luka and even made up a new game. Luka would hold a tennis ball in her mouth and dart her head around you while you sat on a rubber maid tub. You would swipe at the tennis ball with your paw until you knocked it out of her mouth, then Luka would run and get it and the game would start all over again. You both were having so much fun.
May 1, things took a turn for the worse, here's my message about you:
"He ate last night at midnight. This morning, he jumped on and off the bed and made biscuits on Luka and I, waking us both up. He insisted on drinking out of the sink and played in there, splashing water on the walls and floor, for quite awhile. Although I put food down, he isn't eating it. I've already called the vet (twice). I got the Royal Canin SO and he isn't eating that either. He doesn't want to be held but he purrs loudly when pet, rubbing his face and arching his back into my hand. Now, I'm on my way for the "junk" food recommneded in this thread. I know none of this bodes well but I'm doing the best I can."
You know that I tried to get you to eat every hour all day and all through the night. It was very sad but I kept trying.
May 2, 2007
I went to 6 am Mass. I wanted to bring you along but convinced myself that you can not bring a cat (even in a carrier) to Church. I wanted to ask for a blessing for you but I felt stupid. I thought those things were for kids with pets. I was so distraught that I walked to the front parking lot when I had parked on the side like I always do. I saw a statue of St. Francis of Assisi and I started to head towards the priest to ask him to bless you but I still hesitated. As I started to the car in the side lot, I passed another larger statue of St. Francis of Assisi (funny how you can go to the same parish most of your life and not know that there is one, let alone two, statues of St. Francis). I was still heading to the car when a thought came into my head to ask now or I wouldn't get another chance to ask.
I went back and asked the priest. He warmly said, "Where do you live, what is the address?" I stuttered, "You don't have to come to my house, I can bring him here." I was shocked that he was happy to bless you. I would never expect a house visit. He told me to bring you to the rectory. I went home and got you and you enjoyed your ride looking out the window the whole way. Since you are generally not thrilled to meet strangers, I wasn't sure how the blessing would go. You seemed to like Father and you layed there very peaceful looking up at Father with your big golden eyes as he gave you the most beautiful blessing.
We went home and you played with the dog and mostly sat in the window. We took a nap shortly after lunch. You were on my chest purring loudly, although I could feel your heart beating hard and your labored breathing. I hadn't felt either of those before but I tried to keep that out of my mind and enjoy you sleeping on my chest.
After we got up, you went back to lying on the cold floor. As I walked by, I reached down to pet you and you cried like you hurt. I got the phone and started to call the vet. You tried to stand up and your back legs didn't work. I started crying. I was pretty sure what this vet call was turning into. I was crying really hard and asked if your favorite vet was in. The man said that he had just left for the day. I tried to control myself and asked, "Who is there today?" He started to tell me that they were really booked up. I told my name and that I had "Chance Elliott" and before I finished he said, "Just hold a minute." It seemed like forever but when he came back on the phone, he said your favorite vet would meet us at the clinic. (What I didn't know at the time was that he had left for vacation and he turned around just to see you.) I put you in your carrier for your second car ride that day. It wasn't as nice. You cried out real loud and although it's only a couple of blocks away, I wasn't getting there fast enough.
The vet said that you had thrown blood clots and that they were blocking the blood supply to your rear legs (your toenails where a ghostly grey). Then, one of the tumors in your lung ruptured. When they gave you a sedative, you were your usual self and kept trying to keep your eyes open and holding yourself up on your front legs. You kept rubbing your head on me to get pet. The sedative seemed to take the pain away so I was glad to get a few more pets in. The vet came in several times to ask if you were lying down yet. Then, some other guy came in, you wanted in your carrier so I opened the door and let you crawl in. He said, "He isn't asleep yet?" I wasn't able to respond before you hissed at him and he left-you were probably nicer than I would have been. I opened the top of your carrier and petted and talked to you. You started that contented cat purr. You finally layed down, folding your front paws underneath you and closing your eyes. There was only one last shot to go. I held you and prayed a Hail, Mary. I started to wonder if it was the right prayer, but it must have been because it was the only one I could remember at the time.
I was only blessed with 22 more days after you were diagnosed with terminal lung cancer to hold you, love you, play with you.
Far from enough but I am so thankful, you played every one of those 22 days.
I am also thankful for the silliness at work the end of January that culminated in me saying, "Fine, I'll just take off the first two weeks of May then." It's so hard to get off work (they told me I had to give 3 months notice) but I had those two weeks approved well in advance although I never knew what I was going to do. This was a real blessing because I could give you round the clock care. I couldn't have left you, even if I would have gotten fired. The way it was, I was just here to be by your side without any such stupid worries. I believe that God works in mysterious ways.
I'm thankful for the cool rainy days. You always jumped at every oppurtunity to sit in the open window with the breeze in your face. I had the window fan on those last two days and you were in and out of my bedroom window often chattering at any red cardinals that were outside.
And, I am still, as I had been so many times, thankful we had found your "furever" vets that I trusted and that were caring and kind to you even when you were not so easy to treat. I am especially thankful we found your favorite vet who you only hissed at a little and actually let him do exams and give you shots without too much craziness. He was such a wonderful person to come back for you in our greatest time of need.
I am thankful for your blessing from Father, it gave me so much comfort.
I am thankful to those who supported me while we were going through this end of life process. No matter what we believe about life after death, it is hard to let our most beloved friends go. And, you were my-best-buddy-in-all-the-world for 15 years.
I miss you so much! And, I still pray for you.
May the Lord bless you and keep you, May He let His Face shine upon you ...........................
May 26th 2007 12:10 pm
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A-Team will help a little kitty get their wings. I think I would be quite dapper in a pair of wings.
If you want to see other cats who have received their wings, go to the menu on the left and click on "Find a Catster" and another menu will drop down, click on "Search Photo Tags", type into the box that comes up "my wings" and click. Lots of kitties have their wings. They are beautiful!!!
May 26th 2007 6:30 am
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Hi, this is my first diary entry. My name is Chance Elliott and I crossed over Rainbow Bridge on May 2, 2007 at about 2:50 pm.
I was refered to Catster by Clinton, that's why I said he made me do it.
Nicholas, also a friend of Clinton's, was my first friend on Catster. Nicholas, I've seen a picture of that stress ball with a face and feather-like hair on it, that is awesome.
Then, almost as soon as I got my page on line, Meisha tagged me in a game where you have to post 7 facts about yourself and then tag 7 other cats. What a fun welcome to Catster!!!
Meisha, Her Most Noble Lady Meisha the Sage of Bismorton Shropcake, introduced me to some more friends: Eric (my sister is training to be a therapy dog), Casey (Mom likes to swing dance to rockabilly and other music), Rosey (I like water so I used to walk on Mom in the bathtub, if she put her knees up, I liked to stand on them), Frankie (Mom likes the song Sail Away by Enya-not much else in that genre though), and Zelda (Mom can really relate to "She is the only pet that we KNEW was coming before she got here!" Mom didn't know I was coming-Surprise!!!).
Five more friends. Karma Kitty (Mom is thinking about making cards kind of like your Mom's tags.) Charlie Clarence (I love warm towels and getting in the clean laundry. too.) Punkin Poo (and, what, exactly is wrong with biting when you have had enough?) Peepers Pie (the back of the recliner, your right, that is a great nap spot.)
Twelve new friends in one friend request: wa hoo! Smokey (I really loved my Hill's Prescription Diet X/D and didn't even complain that I couldn't have treats anymore.) Baby (Baby, I died from cancer, too. It's been really hard on my Mommy and my sister, Luka, a German Shorthaired Pointer.) Snow (Out all alone as a little kitty and DEAF, sometime I thought I was the only one with a hard start. I learned a couple of signs because Mom works with individuals who have mental retardation/developmental delays.) Karma (Hey, that closet space looks great. Mom let me have the towel closet my last month. I had it whenever she forgot to close the door before that.) Rags (I'm so glad your Daddy saved you!) Flash (Your picture on the workout bench is hysterical. I thought ours was some kind of jungle gym for cats-What are those people doing on it?) Spook (That Catio is so cool, I'm complaining to Mom. I didn't have a Catio!) Scaredy (Black Cats are Beautiful!) Carma (I'm so glad my Mom believes in "furever" homes and that the pets are part of the family. When moving, either we could move there or we couldn't. None of that "What are we going to do with the cat?") Mooch (Sorry to hear about the dog bite. I just want you to know that not all dogs are mean. My best friend and sister is a dog.) Frosty (I'm so glad you got a home with your brother. My siblings died when I was 2 weeks old. I'm just getting reaquainted with them over the Bridge.) Romeo (I'm equally glad that you are home with your sister. When Patrick, a hamster, was part of our family, I would put my paw on the glass of his home and he would put his paw up to it on the other side. I'd close my eyes and grin in contentment."
Clinton and Crew arrived. Yay! Clinton, I'm still purring for you. And, a big hello to the rest of the crew: Bud (I kept my sister, a dog, in line. I taught her to sit before Mom did.) Cali (Cougar, Wow, I was compared to a pit bull, really, black cat, wouldn't you think panther?) Rosie (Rosie, it's ok to be "a bit unbalanced". What fun would it be if we were all alike? Thank goodness for the people who love those of us who might be termed "aggressive.") Piedmont (I'll let you catch the toy when we meet at the Bridge.) Tushy Magoo (a 22 guage bullet, and I thought I was tough). Maisy (My sister and best friend in all the world is a dog, Dogs Rock!) Otis (I know, but let's keep it our little secret). Charlie Bear (hummmm, a bit of sun, nice....) Sarah (I got caught in drawers, too. Actually, sometimes, I got shut in drawers). Sugar-ADOPTABLE (now, I know I'm not tough. You are such a brave kitty.)
Ben, I'm good at jumping and running sideways, too.
So, here goes, the game:
The rules: Each player starts with seven random facts about themselves. Cats who are tagged need to write on their own blog about the seven things and the rules. You need to choose seven cats to tag and list their names. Don’t forget to leave them a comment that they have been tagged and to read your blog.
1. I have an eight foot vertical leap so Mom says I'm like having a 2 year old child in the house who can reach the ceiling (don't forget, I can open doors, Mom).
2. My favorite drink, which Mom did her best to keep away from me, is Classic Coke (and who thinks you can't tell the difference between Coke and Pepsi is crazy. I won't touch Pepsi. And, a generic cola, your out of your mind.)
3. When I was thirteen, I started getting wonderlust and better at opening doors and went on several adventures. Mom started locking the deadbolt at all times.
4. I liked pushing the speaker phone button when the phone rang and then I would look at it cocking my head side to side as I heard voices saying, "Hello, Hello. Anyone there. Hello." I didn't answer, I'm a cat. Mom changed the style of phone so I couldn't push the button anymore. I never understood why.
5. I would get into something that I couldn't get out of. Since, I believe Mom is omnicient, I would sit quietly waiting for her to come get me. I would hear her calling but I didn't answer, I'm a cat. She would finally find me, and I would just look at her as if to say, "Why did you leave me here so long? I was sad and didn't know why I was being left but I was so good and waited for you. But, why so long, Mom?" Oh, I'm good at guilt, too.
6. I love to play in water. I would even get on top of the shower door and bat at the shower water.
7. I could be stealth kitty when I wanted to steal something off of a plate.
Ok, well, I'm tagging Zelda, Frankie, Charlie Clarence, Peepers Pie, Scaredy, Sugar-Adoptable and Bud.