She's lost it.

Well last night I had the worst experience of my life...not counting when the dogs were here and they tried to eat me. That was bad. Or when mom locked me out on the porch by mistake, that was bad too! She's blonde and a bit slow, I can't blame her. Anyway last night mom was cleaning out the living room litter box and so I decided to go into the bedroom one and do my business. You know, when you have to go you have to go! So I'm getting settled, finding the prefect spot and all of a sudden the cat box starts rattling and shaking then mid-poo the whole box starts to elevate off the ground. Before I know it I'm mid squat and suspended in mid-air inside my cat box. I'm getting bumped into walls, tossed from side to side and all while I am trying to do my *ahem* business. Then I hear a muffled mommy voice say, "Goodness boys, what the hell did you do in hear? I mean I know it's been a couple of days cause momma had company but really?? This thing is about 10 lbs!!". She had no idea I was in there!!!! If I didn't act soon I was as good as kitty litter out with the trash, Eeeep! So I started my trusty Poe Poe huffing and puffing which always gets attention, sounds like an asthma attack! She pauses. Oh good she heard me huffing and puffing away!!! "Poe, where are you?? What's wrong baby??", she says puzzled in that muffled momma voice. Then I finally heard her make the connection, "Poe Poe, baby are you in the kitty box?? Oh baby I am so sorry!!!!" She put the box down and I made my escape (spilling some of my *ahem* business on the floor!) and darted out of that situation as fast as I could!! She was about to toss me out with the used kitty litter. I have never been so scared and insulted in all my life!!! I swear that crazy momma woman has lost it!!

Poe Poe is a bad boy!

So I have to defend myself. My momma yelled at me a lot last night, but I guess I did deserve it a little. You see she is going way for the weekend and we are staying at the apartment with Auntie Lisa and her puppy Chloe, but I hate it when mommy leaves. I have no ones hair to eat and no ones forehead to chew on!! Soooo I sort of peed in her suitcase while she was preparing to pack. She hadn't put anything in there yet so it wasn't that bad but I knew what I was doing, and it was extra bad because she had JUST cleaned out the litter box for me and Regiment!! It was a shameful thing for me to do but at the same time I miss her and it was my funny way of trying to make her stay...I think next time I'll get Auntie Lisa to help me write her a note or a card or something!! I think that'll make mommy a little Happier.

Either way...hope all is right in Kitty Land!

Not coming out.

I refuse to come out of this room!!! Those evil beasts will eat me!!!! Mom says Roxie just wants to lick my ears and make me a happy kitty, I don't buy that for a second. The only thing that four legged monster wants to do is eat me!!! Maybe she wants to marinate me for later but either way it'll end up not turning out well for me! My plan? I know I am the cat with a plan but today there is no plan, just hanging out in my little TV stand cubby hole and waiting this one out. Mom tried to "socialize" me. HA! No way jose. I'm am staying put. I never liked the day light anyway. I'll be just fine under here.

Today is another day.

Well, no world domination yet. I did get brushed though and that was great!! I wanted to look my best for the company coming into town. Mom told me that they would be here around 2:30 and that soon after that I would be getting a bath....yea I wasn't too happy about that one, but I'll survive. I think. I get a little crazy in the tub. It takes about two people wearing leather gloves to wash me. I think that grandma's going to help. Haha! She has no idea what she's in for!!!! Today is another day and it's going to be a fun one at that!!

=^-^=

Day 1237 of my captivity....

Hello. My name is Poe. I believe you have all been introduced to my overzellous little brother Regiment by my equally as excited mom. Yes they are chipper aren't they. I'm going to be honest I live for two things, world domination and milk. Right now I have been held captive in a small living space with a quirky little creature they call Chloe. I believe mom has called her both a demon and a puppy. I will go with demon as her species. She is a clever devil using her tiny shark like teeth to chew through things. She has destroyed all of my devices that mother refers to as "toys". I know not what the meaning of this "toys" is however I do know that this demon has also used her shark like teeth on my ears and it is not pleasent. Perhaps this is the humans way of slowing my plan to dominate the world....it is possible.

Anyway, I'm am living here in Texas and recently learned that my brother and grandmother will be arriving on monday morning. they are bringing with them two more dogs (they should be called hellions if you ask me) and I am not thrilled but the dogs are only staying until Grandma gets back from CA. She is going to visit grandpa who is working there right now.

One thing that keeps my spirits up in this place is the patio. There are two birds who have nested and my plan is to catch them and leave them as a sign of what I will do to those who work against my cat revolution, however they have out smarted me on two seperate occasions. I will work towards their destruction in later days.

For now I must prepare for the arrival of my guests. This may be a perfect time to plot a new plan for taking over the world. I have yet to decide what will work best but once I know I will fill you all in. If there are any cats who would like to join my revolution, your support is always needed and appreciated. You can contact me here. Till we meet again.

Hail Cat Nip.

(Did I mention he was born in Germany? *giggle*)