January 6th 2008 1:02 pm
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I have to confess, I've been very lazy about keeping up with Catster lately. To be honest, I've spent all my waking hours considering new schemes to either perpetrate myself, or to talk that kiss-up, do gooder, goody two shoes Maggie to commit. Despite many online searches, brain teasers trying to stimulate the right hemisphere, and doing many meditative and written exercises to channel my energy to innervate and invigorate my creative muscles, my brain continues to be a nerve-racking, agitated hum of silence, as if nary a synapse will choose to fire again.

The beautiful thing is that despite this dearth of activity and ideas, my reputation persists. Today I received an email from an Honorable Detective, member of our protectorate, the Samoa Detective Agency, inquiring as to whether Iwas the Serial Anonymous Rosetter, the Smiling Cat. This dude is eluisve and has been on the run for a long time. I was honored that I was a "Cat of Interest" in this case, and happy to know that once you've built yourself a reputation, it takes longer than a few months of creative famine to lose the name that you worked so hard to establish.

As someone who has some personal insights into the mind of a repeat offender, I can offer these suggestions for understanding the criminal mind and for guessing his next move. This dude is smart, so look out for these clues:
1) The repeat offender gets pleasure from watching the detectives struggle to solve his case. He will revisit the scene of the crime and will likely be one of the spectators while detectives gather clues.
2) To avoid being caught, he will leave dummy pawprints behind to foil the detectives. He may even send clues to the detectives, pretending to be unconnected to the crime.
3) The offender will have a carefully constructed alibi often claiming to be out hunting or chasing squirrels at the time the rosette was left.
4) A repeat ARG is likely to fit the profile of a cat who is a fearless thrill seeker. Some evidence suggests they have frontal lobe damage, but that can only be ascertained with an MRI, which isn't likely to help in narrowing down the list of suspected cats. Punishment does not deter them because they are impulsive and bold in the face of consequences (citation from "Till ARGs Are Caught: Anatomy of an ARG and How to Protect Yourself").

It would behoove our community to create a Google map of the convicted, who have served their sentences and returned to living in the community at large. ARGs have an extraordinarily high rate of recidivism, and despite any promises to reform, they often eagerly and deliberately revert back to their former behavior once released. Once a cat succumbs, and is brought within the folds of ARGing, he no longer has control of his actions. We would do well to not underestimate the high that an ARG gets with each new gift given, the addictive nature of ARGing, and the psychological challenges an ARG wishing to reform himself must battle. We would benefit from knowing where they lurk, and perhaps could all do with a support group for those who want to change but don't know how.

Just my two cents. Good luck detectives! I hope you get this menace to our community.

Leto, The Evil, Criminal Assisting Those Seeking Justice