One Year

It's been one whole year since my little girl left me. I can't believe it's been that long.

I could say I miss her as much now as I did a year ago, but the truth is, I don't think about her as often. I feel guilty about this for some reason. When I do think about her, I miss her horribly.

The thing that has reminded me of her recently is, of all things, Olympic snowboarding and skiing! Those of you who have cared for elderly cats will know what I mean - the course looks like a line of pee pads!!

I would like to thank the few people who remembered and sent me rosettes and messages - you know who you are. Thank you.

Six months

Today marked six months since my little girl left me. I still miss her terribly every day. Catster has changed for me, as well, since she died.

The recent poll asking if people would consider taxidermy after their cats passed away made me think about how different people grieve for their animals. I personally could never do this, but I'm sure some would find it comforting.

Another thing I can never do is post as Alaidh again. I know many here on Catster do, but for me it's just too upsetting. One of my favourite groups requires this if I am to post in all but one thread. Because of this, I felt the need to leave that group, since I could no longer share my kitty experiences or wisdom in any of the other threads unless I did something that felt so wrong to me. It seems I have lost some friends because of it, too.

I have gone back and forth considering leaving Catster altogether, but I don't want to lose all of the lovely messages and rosettes I received on Alaidh's page, nor do I want to lose touch with some of the lovely people whose cats have pages here. I still haven't completely decided what to do, though.

I'm not sure where this belief that you must pretend to be your cat to post on Catster came from, but I could find no evidence of it in Catster rules. Catster is about the cats and always will be, I wouldn't want it any other way, but my little Alaidh is gone now. She no longer sits on my lap or on my shoulder while I type up her diary or her comments. Sometimes I feel her spirit here, but maybe it's my imagination.

I really don't know where her little spirit is, but I hope she's with Sammie, possibly curled up beside my granny and grampa. She wasn't the "fields of butterflies" kind of kitty. Wherever she is, I just hope she's happy.

And please believe me when I say, I don't hate anybody...I never did.

Thank You

I know I won't be able to thank everyone personally - I can try, but I'm afraid I'll miss someone - there were so many messages of condolence, rosettes, etc. Every one made me cry and smile at the same time. The support at Catster is so wonderful, I only wish it had been around when Sammie passed away.

There are a few messages I will answer personally, as they did ask me questions and I want to answer, but if you don't receive a reply from me, it's not because your message or rosette was any less important. Every single one of them has helped get me through this very difficult time and I thank you all from the bottom of my heart.

Alaidh gave up the fight

My poor little girl was just too tired. She went to the Rainbow Bridge this afternoon.

Still hangin' on

I went to the vet and got pumped full of fluids. That made me feel a little bit better. Dr. Susanne also took some blood from me. I wasn't impressed, but I behaved myself because I was so tired...I was also in a bag...

Anyway, the Rainbow Bridge is still close, but not getting any closer right now.

I have to go nap now.

I can almost see the Rainbow Bridge

I'm really really tired now. Mummy carries me around and I don't complain at all. I'm still eating, but I'm having trouble walking more than a few steps. I know Mummy will have to make a decision soon and I think I'm okay with it. I had a good long life; I've been pampered and spoiled. I think I'll be ready soon.

Scooter Tribute

Come on, kitties! Go and share your love for Scooter! They need 50 entries before March 1st. The directions are right there on the blog and it's not difficult or scary at all. Share a memory or just say why you loved her. Make sure you link to your Catster page and hopefully add a photo of yourself, too!

Scooter Tribute Blog

Secret Admirer??

A few days ago I got an anonymous rosie - yummy candy hearts - and I've been pondering who it could be from!! What a delicious mystery!!

Thank you anonymous rosie giver!!

Ew! Eyedrops!

I figured it was time to start writing a diary in here in addition to my blog - there's a link on my page now, if you want to go read that, too!

Anyway, I went to the vet yesterday because my eye was all goopy and gross. *sigh* It wasn't bothering me!

Anyway, Mummy put that silly sweater on me and stuffed me in my carrier. She didn't ask me if I had to use the litter box first, though, and I...well...had a bit of an accident in my carrier. Luckily Mummy wraps the bottom pad in a pee pad, so nothing dripped, but I had to go number 2, as well, so I was a bit stinky. But imagine my humiliation when Dr. Susanne said she wanted to see my poop!! Mummy had put me on the floor while she took the pee pad off and wrapped things up, so I tried to walk out of the room! I was so embarrassed! Dr. Susanne had the nerve...THE NERVE!!...to pick me up and put me on the table. I think I was too shocked to growl.

After that humiliation, she put some green stuff in my eye. How annoying. She was also shining a light in my eyes. That weird ulcer thing from before is still in my left eye, but it's exactly the same. Dr. Susanne thinks it's weird, but since it hasn't changed at all, she's not worried about it. My right eye, however, was irritated. Mummy thinks I got something in it when I was sleeping - I faceplant when I sleep. Dr. Susanne thinks this is very possible. She gave Mummy some eyedrops for me and said I have to go back in 10 days. Grrr...

One thing that made Mummy happy, though, was Dr. Susanne's response when Mummy said she wondered if she was keeping me alive for her and not for me. Dr. Susanne barely let her get the sentence out before saying, "No. Definitely not. This little girl still has a lot of personality in her." Damn straight!!

My blog!

Okay...so I'm starting a diary with a link to my diary. Pretty weird, I guess, but I think you'll enjoy the blog more because it has pictures!

Anyway, here's the link: Alaidh's Daily Diary