Ode to Cat Grass

The tempting smell
The luxurious sight
Oh how I wish to devour your green stems
But FIE! FIE! The cat grass!
With your promises of good digestion
And less hairballs!
You promise LIES!
And deliver poops that stick.
See my trail of pain
Across the bathroom floor
Across the bedroom rug
And alas,
Across the freshly washed comforter.
The loud machine at 2AM
Cleans the bedding.
The wet cloth at 2AM
Cleans my bottom
I dislike both.
So FIE! To you grass of the cat!
Your tempting blades adorn our house no more!