I am NOT a Delectable Morsel.

I can't help it if I was born water colored. I'm an orange tabby but I pale next to some of the handsome & gorgeous orange tabby cats here on Catster. With that in mind, ever since I came to live at H.Q., my humans' seemingly favorite hobby has been to come up with all sorts of nicknames they think would be fitting for my pastel tabby-ness.

I love my humans but I will loudly mew that they are very cuckoo. However, using my innate feline perception of all that's holy and good (especially those yummy salmon treats), I patiently put up with their daft folly.

My very first nickname was "Water Lily" because of my fascination with dripping water. Lili Von Poop came about because of flatulence due to rich food which I no longer eat. LilyLilyLegs came next because, in the certain stage of kittenhood I was in at the time, I could leap to really high places with a single bound. Something like Superman's Cat would do. I was also "Creamsicle" because of my creamy white fur and orange topping. Then I was Marshmallow of which I don't mind at all. I do sorta answer to "Marshee" and I really don't care when they tell others that I'm a perfectly "toasted" marshmallow. But lately I am getting worried. Would you believe that now I'm a "delectable morsel"?!? me-OW. I can't even imagine what kind of nickname they could derive from "delectable morsel" & I never want to imagine it either!

Somebody has got to help my humans. Seriously.

Gee I can't have ANY fun.

Meeowww boo hoo! My humans won't let me play with the rubberbands that hold the morning paper together! Now they're making it an important point to throw them in the trash the second they bring the paper inside. I only want to bite them in half but I will admit that more than once or twice they DID catch me chewing on a piece. They also hid the container that holds their home office rubberband supply somewhere other than on the desk. Now my fetish has been stifled.

They're always saying that I'm so smart so I'm hoping to come up with an excellent way to stifle one of their fetishes. Perhaps the one that they make me endure while being held on my back --all that seemingly endless smooching on a certain spot on my marshmallow-like neck. Yeah thats it -- no more kissing! Zero, zilch, Nada-ka-bodda. Take that you inconsiderate silly humans!

Operation!

I got spayed this week! The doctor said I sailed through the operation but even so, they kept me in a cage overnight and then made me go home with a big clumsy plastic collar that I couldn't even walk in! I understand it's for my own good, but why do they make the collars so huge that I can't even walk? Can't they make them just a little bit smaller, especially for tiny kitties like me? My humans are wondering this too. It just doesn't seem practical.

I want to play with my toys again so bad, but my people won't let me do ANYTHING fun. They are always following me around the house and spying on me, too. And then they grab me and give me medicine from a big tube! Ptooey yuck! Nothing makes me madder. But I get a special chicken treat if I'm good, so I'm learning to be good!

Time to go back to sleep for another 6 hourszzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....