May 19th 2010 2:57 pm
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My sweet Claire passed away a few hours ago, at home.
Last night, I had left a message with our vet, telling him her deteriorating condition. I sat up with her all night, stroking her, cradling her head. I was sure she would not make it though the night. When daylight began to come through the windows, I checked her once more, and she was still with us. The vet called first thing. He said her tests came back, and it was in her bone marrow, I told him I wanted to bring her in, to help her cross, but he said he was double booked this morning, and I said I could wait until afternoon. I looked at Claire, curled into a tiny ball, breathing shallow, but peacefully. I was exhausted, and laid down, with her cat bed next to me, for a few hours sleep.
When I awoke, she had tried to sit up, and had fallen over, half in/half out of her bed. I picked her up gently and arranged her in a comfortable position. She was barely breathing.
The end came quickly. After she passed, I carried her to the sink and cleaned her up. (her paws and neck had become stained with all the food that dripped down when we feed her) She was such a Diva, she would have wanted that.
Then I sat with her in my lap, and brushed and blow dried her. I called my husband, who had gone to work without me this morning, and then I called her vet. She will be cremated.
I feel like I am typing this in another lifetime...everything feels removed, and I know it hasn't hit full force yet. We realize the price we pay for having so many cats is going to be more loss...that is the hard part...but also more love...and that is the good part. Claire will always be our Calico Girl.
With tearful thanks,
Teri and David
May 19th 2010 12:22 am
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Claire's mom here.
She still will not eat or drink on her own. All liquids and food are being forced down her, which she hates and resists. She cannot walk, and can barely sit up. I watch her slip farther away more each day.
I must not let her suffer any more, but we were clinging to hope that she might rebound, that the medicines would knock out the infection, if that is what it is, and she would rally. But now her eyes are sunken, her pupils large and without much sign of recognition. She moans when I move her.
If she does make it through this night (it is after 2:00 am here) then I feel we must take her tomorrow and help her cross.
You don't know how badly I never want to type those words again.
I pray she understands, I pray she forgives us.
Thank everyone for being so kind and generous with their love and concern for my Clairey. I know at some level, she knows it too.
With love and tears,
Teri and David
May 16th 2010 12:09 pm
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I think I feel just a little bit better this morning.
I had several syringes of food and kept it down. I have had several doses of my medicine now, so maybe it is helping some. I am very wobbly, and have to be carried to the litter, or else I just wet the towel I am sleeping on. That's kinda embarrassing, so I hope they don't start putting me in kitty "Depends".
Thank you all again for the purrs and get well prayers.
Momma says she misses me wrapping around her feet when she gets out of the shower. I wish I felt like doing that too...maybe soon?
Gentle purrs, Claire Bear
May 15th 2010 3:43 pm
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I'm a good kitty. I have always behaved very well at the vet, actually better than at home. But this is more trips to the vet in a week than I have had in the last ten years.
My syringe feeding did not go well. I ate three syringes full, with no problem, I didn't even fuss much, though it was a bit of an uncomfortable experience. But shortly after, it all came back up. So now I had to go back to the vet for an anti-nausea shot. Being sick is definitely no fun.
The bad thing is, I have lost a lot more weight. On May 11th I weighed 8.6.
Today I only weighed 7.8 pounds. Momma is pretty scared that I am leaving her. She told me on the car ride home that I have to fight. I don't have much fight in me these days. I just want to rest in my box.
Will that be okay, mom? Just let me rest for now.
Gentle purrs, Claire
May 15th 2010 7:52 am
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I spent a quiet day yesterday, sleeping in my box. I would not eat or drink anything I was offered. I was given sub-Q fluids again, and a syringe of water. Last night I was very weak. Mom thinks this is from not eating, as much as the illness. She is going to force me some Hills a/d this morning, which is prescription food, very calorie dense. I did purr softly as I sat in mom's lap for the fluids.
The vet still has not gone over the blood tests with mom and dad, but he did call yesterday and said he has "no idea what we were dealing with yet".
As you can imagine, mom is distressed by this. He decided to treat it as a bacterial infection in the lymph glands. I am getting a very strong antibiotic for two weeks. If I start to improve, I will get another ultra-sound to see if the lymph nodes have decreased in size. If they have, we are on the right track, if they haven't I will have to have one biopsied.
All this is scary for a calico girl who hasn't been sick a day in her adult kitty life. I have been moved into the office with Stinky...the 'sickie ward". It's quiet, and no other cats will bother me.
Today it is raining and thundering. There are dark clouds everywhere. Mom is praying that these dark clouds leave us soon...in all ways.
Gentle purrs, Claire
May 13th 2010 5:09 pm
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Tonight I had another ultra-sound done. The technician was not happy with the images from the one last night. Mom stayed with me and held my head while the tech rubbed my belly with the gel. The pictures were better this time, and clearly showed enlarged lymph nodes. This points to lymphoma, but could possibly be infection. So the next step will be to biopsy the lymph nodes. She also saw trouble spots on my liver, but said she was not sure what that meant. Could be fatty liver disease, could be cancer.
I came home tonight, and will get fluids again. Tomorrow my vet will be back and review all the information and hopefully come up with a plan of treatment for me. I was a very good girl. I even purred during the ultra-sound. Thank you for all the kind thoughts sent my way.
Gentle purrs, Claire
May 12th 2010 5:58 pm
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Boy am I glad to be home.
The accommodations at that day spa aren't what I would expect. The litter box was so tiny I was afraid to use it so I saved my pee all day again, and wet my carrier on the way home. Good thing the vet's assistant gave us a towel.
I'd rather not go back for a while, but I will probably have to, on Friday.
Momma says she'll tell you the rest.
Today they did blood tests on Claire, but the vet was called away on an emergency meeting, and I did not get to talk with him, so I still don't know what they found. The ultrasound wasn't done when we arrived at closing, to pick her up, because the technician (who travels) had an emergency on a dog at another vet's so our vet was officially closed but she arrived and she asked me to help with the ultrasound. I held Claire as she did the procedure and I watched the screen as she pointed out organs. The first thing she noticed was that Claire's spleen wasn't where it should be. I didn't understand the significance of that, but she also said her lymph nodes were enlarged. She saved it to show the specialist, and said she would consult with Claire's vet tonight. So another night of worry for us...sigh.
We cleaned Claire up and she immediately went for the food bowl, but didn't eat much. Later, we will give her sub-Q fluids again. Her vet is off tomorrow, so unless they say it is an emergency, we will probably not take her back until Friday.
My Clairey and I thank you for the love and concern being shown to her.
We are still hoping for something treatable, and praying hard.
Once more, thank you so very much.
Momma Teri, Daddy David and Claire Bear
May 11th 2010 5:46 pm
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I hadn't planned on starting a diary since we barely keep up with the ones we already write, but I hadn't planned on getting sick either...
I've always been a big girl, at my heaviest time, years ago, bordering on fat at 13 pounds. Today I weighed in at a meager 8.6 pounds.
I haven't been feeling very well for a while, just a little off, but still eating normally, but I was losing weight. Mom has talked with my vet about it, and due to my age (11) , he suspected thyroid problems, but he was out of the country on a church mission and mom had planned on taking me in when he returned. Last night I kind of crashed. I wouldn't eat, and didn't want to get out of the cardboard box that I had claimed as mine. I do love boxes. Dad always picks one up for me every time he goes to Sam's Club.
...Anyway, this morning I did get up when mom brought the food container out, but I ate a few bites and got back into my box. There I stayed until time for my appointment this afternoon. I didn't even get up to go to the litterbox, which turned out to be good since they needed a urine sample.
The tests results were not conclusive, so I have to go back tomorrow morning for a sonogram. The issue is my liver. The sonogram will rule out liver cancer. My kidneys may have some trouble too, but the vet said I am still concentrating my urine, which is a good thing. We will know more tomorrow. Tonight I get sub-Q fluids like Harry did.
I will write tomorrow and let you know what they find. I know Zack asked for purrs. Thank you, my angel brother.
I sure love and miss him. It's coming up on a year now.
Thank you all for the purrs and prayers.
Gentle purrs, Clairey
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