Catster

return to top

Dairy of an Old Cat Girl

I said hello to mama this afternoon

Every once in a while I like to come and say hello to my family and to make them think about me. Here is what I did today in my mummma's words:

"This afternoon we had a rain shower, and after a loud clap of thunder Chris asked me to go up and close the attic windows that he had opened earlier in the day. I went to do that and found, on the floor in front of the window, an old burgundy collar with a bell that Muffin wore when she was a young cat. Not sure how it got on the floor, it must have fallen out of a box when Chris was moving some items around. I held it in my hand and thought of our beloved Muffin, then I looked up at the window preparing to close it and saw a perfect full rainbow arching above the old building across the street. Our angel cats like to reach out and remind us that they remain with us always, the bond of love is never broken."

There is a picture of me in that collar on my page. Mumma saw how tiny it was -I was a pretty little girl when I wore it!!

A Message from Muffin ...

In a few days it will mark 3 years since our beloved Muffin passed on to the rainbow bridge. I still think of her: happy, funny memories of her long, healthy life. Often I am sure I see still her, a brief movement from the corner of my eye, or a feeling that she is there with me.

But tonight I believe she sent us a message. Let me explain. Many years ago we borrowed VHS camcorder for a few days and made a tape of Muffin and the bunny , Bashful J Cocoapuff. It had been packed away with some other stuff, it had not been seen for over 15 years. We’d always wondered where it went to , wishing we could see our Muffin in her youthful beauty and full of energy once again. And tonight was the night it would happen.

We were cleaning the front bedroom and moving some items, one a storage box with old VHS tapes , mostly TV shows we had taped. I took the box and decided to place the tapes on a shelf glancing at them as I stacked them. I was amazed as I looked at the spine of one to read “ Muffin and Bashful” !!!
Later I looked at the box and saw why we had never noticed this was the "lost" Muffin tape before. The outside of the box said “walk with us” on it spine and front. But tonight, near the anniversary of her passage to the bridge , Muffin was sending us a message, saying hello again, saying she is still here with us .

Seeing a young, vivacious Muffin again was so special, such an amazing gift!! She was maybe 3 or 4 years old when we made the tape, around the same ages of Loki, Maggie and Abby now. She was so beautiful, so playful, so much the Muffin that lives in my heart. And seeing sweet little Bashful bunny again was special too. He was a cute little guy. One shot shows Muffin gazing at him lovingly, its so sweet.
Perhaps one day we can transfer the tape to a DVD and figure out how to add a short clip to her page .

Thank you Muffin for sending us this message, to reassure us that you are still with us, and always will be with us. And I loved seeing you again, young and beautiful, my Muffin, forever loved. Forever and ever….

In Memory of Muffin

18 Years. Such a long time and yet such a short time… How does one express the love and devotion of special cat over those 18 years? Mere words can’t express the strong bond and love that Muffin and I shared. Muffin was with me, and supporting and loving me through so many happy and sad times in my life.

I will never forget that June day in 1989 when Muffin joined us. There was a free kitten sign that my husband, Chris, saw each day on his way back and forth to work. Although he had never had a cat, he knew I loved cats (and really most animals). So he asked me if I would like to look at the kittens and overjoyed I agreed. There were 3 kittens, 2 orange and one fluffy brown and white one. We knew our fluffy Muffin was the one when Chris asked if the kittens were litter box trained and she trotted off to use the box. We knew she was the one immediately and our amazing journey with our Muffin began.

Muffin and I developed a very strong bond over the years. She was my baby, my friend, my confidant. She always slept with me, on my head, my side or at my feet. She followed me almost constantly, if I went upstairs she soon appeared …then back down with me. She waited in the bathroom while I showered.

Sometimes Muffin could be feisty. She was strong willed and liked to have things her way. As an only cat for her first seven years that worked ok. But when Kiwi came along then she had to learn to share, and she did. An amazing cat, she was learning and adapting until the very end.

Muffin was there to comfort me as my tears fell into her fur when my dad departed the earth, and several years later she was there for me again, this time with Kiwi’s help, to again understand and ease my sorrow ,letting me cry into her fur when my Mom passed on. Muffin was there whenever I had a bad colds, she would lay on my chest until somehow she miraculously would ease my congestion. Really anytime I was sad or worried she was there for me, feeling like her job was to ease my pain.

When we moved into our house from the apartment we had loved in for so long, Muffin was there to share our joy. I know she appreciated the extra space, and the windows from which she could watch birds and squirrels. But still she was my little shadow.

Muffin was such a part of our lives; I thought she would be with me forever. And in a sense she will be. I will carry those precious memories with me forever, I’ll never forget the feel of the weight of her little body, warm against me as I sleep. The way she would beg for ice cream, the way she would slowly walk down the stairs, always on the left side, the way she would lick me with her rough tongue….these are all things that will stay with me. And I believe her special soul will stay with me too, still loving me as I still keep loving her.

But as happens for all of us, Muffin’s time came for her body to leave us. Too soon, it always is…. We knew on our wedding anniversary that she was declining. And when the dragonfly lit on Chris that evening and tried to come inside we feared it would not be long. The next day, August 25th 2007, shortly before 7 PM Muffin left her mortal life. She was in my arms as I told her I loved her and told her to go to the light and to go to Peanut. I take comfort in the fact that she was where she was happiest, with me as I held her close looking into her beautiful eyes.
Despite the pain of losing my beloved Muffin, I know that the joy of having her in my life outweighs the pain of losing her. Those wonderful memories we shared will live forever in my heart, and the joy of having been loved so purely and unquestioningly by Muffin was just so extraordinary. Love lasts forever.

I will always love you, my Muffin, my angel.

Love , your Mama Robin