February 13th 2007 1:09 pm
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* Excerpts from a Dog's Diary*
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
* Excerpts from a Cat's Diary*
Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.
In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am?Bastards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now...
February 1st 2007 10:39 am
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Well if you cant tell my theme song by now its Sponge Bob. My mommy Ashley, loves watching the show with me, I like it a lot cause she rubs my neck during the whole show. Than after that we go to bed where I get to curl up next to her in the top bunk. I just got my nails removed so my Mom has to help me up but they are starting to feel better. I kind of put scratches in the new couches they bought for Christmas (how was I to know they wernt my new scratch post? ) So for Christmas they say I got declawed. I still have problems with the big dog they let roam in my area, at least ive scared her off from comming in my room. Shes a big doofes shes never going to guess that I dont have my nails anymore. Shes still afraid of me hehe 5 lbs vs 55 lbs. Good thing she thinks shes a mouse. Well thats all for my 1 st entry. BBFN
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