Looking from the Bridge...

I made catster diary of the day... So I had better make it count. I am looking from the bridge here with Kenny and Misty. You want to talk about heaven. I get cleaned by Kenny and then Misty. I am so pampered. I get to watch over my mom and she is looking to foster a new cat. It looks like my mom may foster Max if and this is a BIG IF Lardo gets along with him. Lardo likes everyone. He's such a pushover. My mom seems to be missing me. I heard her call for me the other day and put out the extra plate of food. Did she forget already that I went to the bridge. When she caught herself she cried. I wish she could only understand that I am Purrfectly fine I am waiting here at the bridge for her. I will be here...

I also saw that she got Misty's urn back. This also made her cry. My poor mom I know she is tired of crying. But I understand her crying so much. She misses me too much. Misty left too soon and Kenny was just way too special. Lardo isn't doing too much better. He lays on her sighing he is mourning me. I hated him so much that I couldn't see that all he wanted was for me to play with him and lay with him. I did not want that from him so I would growl and move to my mom's lap. Purrrhaps my cattitude did not allow me to make better friends with Lardo but towards the end when I would get cold I didn't mind the big fella laying next to me.

Thank you everyone For the honor of Catster Diary of the day!!!

Furrever Yours,

October

I went to the bridge today..

Today my mom helped me to the bridge. I was so tired all day today that I didn't even eat.

I had my friends over today those that showed up. My friends Jackie, Bridgette and my super special pet sitter Suncha came over and visited with me before I took a long nap. My mom petted me a lot and held her to her heart.

Soon it was time to go I didn't fuss too much when she put me in the cat carrier. The drive over I got to ride in the front seat on a nice warm lap. My mom paused once she parked spending time petting me and letting me walk around inside the car. She loaded me back up into the carrier.
Once inside the office my dad took me to some private seating and spent some time with me. My mom went to the desk and signed me into the office. Once it was our turn they put us into a private room where we sat and My mom wrapped me in a warm blanket. My mom held me all the time talking to me. I complained about being at the vet's office again. They gave me something that made me really sleepy. My mom held me really tight. Our Vet she's a nice lady. She let my mom and dad spend some time with me while I rested. My mom held me and talked to me told me that she loved me and that she wanted me to rest now. I was so tired that I just went to sleep. My vet came back and she had a friend that was touching my legs I didn't like that too much even when I was resting I growled at them toughing my long long legs. She poked me with another needle and I noticed that she too started to cry. I can hear my mom crying and telling me that she loves me she holds my head gingerly in her hands. She strokes my head. The vet presses her stethoscope to my chest and tells me to get to the bridge. My vet is crying. I lay there. I cannot breath I can hear my mom talking to me. Petting me my mom picks me up and holds me for a while. She knows that even though I have passed I am still there with them. She picks me up and cradles me in her arms. I am still a big baby to her. She holds me tighter and smells me and holds me she cries some more. If she can hear me I tell her I feel fine I have gone to the bridge.

Meet me at the bridge,mom I will wait with Kenny and Misty for you.

Forever yours

October

I refuse to..

I am tired all the time. I eat and I throw up a lot. My mom is worried sick about me. I am not getting into a good place to rest. She touches me all night checking on me. She told me this morning that she is going to help me to the bridge tomorrow. My mom is devastated that helping me to the bridge is the only thing she can do for me at this point in time. She whispers to me that she loves me. She makes me sleep in the bed with her and under the covers with a pillow. She makes sure that I eat before she goes to work. My mom loves me. I know she does why else would she bring me all the way out to California with her. She saved me when I was a baby kitty from the horrible car. I have been with her my entire life. She is a good human to all the animals she meets. I am not leaving her out of my choice. I have to go to the bridge and be with Misty and my dear friend Kenny. I hope they are ready for me maybe when I get there I won't be so mean and my cattitude will be in better standing after all I am a diva.

My mom is hosting a visiting with me tomorrow for my human friends that I like and know. I hope my good friends show up. I would like a good pet from them before I go to the bridge.

So I hope everyone is ready for me at the bridge. I hope that Misty and Kenny will greet me when I get there. My mom is sad so I am hoping that Lardo can comfort her. I will spend tonight with her and I will try and help her with her sorrow.

Thank you for everyone that Purred for me. Hazel Lucy, Amelia, Nylu, Monroe, Pia, and everyone else that I have forgotten. Thank you everyone for all my lovely gifts and stars and rosettes.


October

I am who I am..

I am still trucking along. I am tired most of the time except when my mom comes home from work and then I am all happy and ready to be petted. I am still eating and drinking. I am just tired sometimes. It's been cold here so my mom has put out a heating pad with my blankets on it to keep me warm. I am spoiled. She also lets me in the bed under the covers in case one of the more hefty kitties muscle me out of my warm spot. I have taken to laying by a window and watching the world pass by for leisure. It's Christmas time again. My mom has promised Sashimi grade tuna for dinner. My companion cats are nosy about me and I just want to be left alone. I do let misty clean my head and shoulders. She is just fierce with that tongue, but she's a young cat she has a lot to learn. Lardo is just obnoxious, thats his nature. Don't get me wrong I am still a prima donna. I still demand attention and I still growl when my mom wants to get up. But that is who I am. I may be old and sick but I am still the biggest baby you will ever meet.

October

My Progress

I have been doing better. I have seen better days. I have had horrible days. The cancer is slowly progressing through my legs. I still play and eat everything in site. I am a little skinnier. My mom worries about me. I went to the Doctor and she checked me out. I am looking good. other than being a little skinny. Lardo must think I am getting better cause he still harasses me but it's OK Misty keeps him in check. I really like to sit on my mom and watch TV. I guess in my old age I have become a couch potato. My mom still gets me to play. I guess I still have it after all these years. Fastest Mouser in the west. I am allowed to eat anything I want. I generally get whatever I want as well. I am a happy girl.

October

Zen Feeling

I post this to let everyone know how I am doing. I have since long been to the Vet and it appears that the cancer is progressing to my mouth and tongue. My mom and Vet are in both agreement that time is all I have left that even treatment is not going to prolong my lifespan. I have been being spoiled rotten. My mom is deeply saddened by this that she has to accept what is the consequences of life. I am happy though I purr a lot and play a lot and my mom pretends that nothing is wrong but I know she knows. Antibiotics can only do so much. Here we thought that it was all because of allergies for the last 2 years and giving me all these medicines when it was cancer and then there are the whispered apologies that she tells me she is so sorry. I just touch her with her my paws and tell her There's nothing to be sorry about. This is the cycle of life. I have had almost 15 wonderful years (It will be 15 years as of September the 28th of this year) of adventures and love and companionship from a human that has never let me down. I could not have asked for much more out of life. I have been well fed, clean litter box, vaccinated, and regular check ups. She has risen above and beyond the call of being my mom. I wished my mom would understand that and not feel like she did something wrong. I am an older cat I am happy with my mom and my feline friends. I have a contentment that no one can take away from me. I am feeling quite Zen.

October

Wow !

I made it as Catster Diary of the week. I am surprised.

I want to thank everyone for their purrs and well wishes. In my hopes that I would be getting the clean bill of health, my mom got the call from the vet today. It looks like they hoped that they had removed it all. They said that time is the only thing that will tell. I have an aggressive type of cancer. They have one more test they can run to see how far long the cancer has progressed. I am fearful that my mom is already more broken hearted and tries so hard to remain hopeful. She cried again today. I don't mean to make her sad. She looks at me and sighs and sniffles. On the up side I can hop into to the bed with them now. No collar to bother my neck, no more stitches, and no more bandages. I am pretty happy. But I am worried about my mom she is sad and she cries. My mom cried for a good hour after the vet called. She wouldn't eat her dinner and I was sitting with her during dinner and she didn't touch anything. I don’t know why she doesn’t understand that I am here now. I sit really close to her and I stretch my legs out on her displaying my dainty feet and I purr. I don’t like to see my mom crying. Lardo and I have been trying really hard to make nice and Misty is just nice. Misty licks my head like Kenny used to. We all try to make her feel better and not feel so cheerless.
October

Wheew..

Ok I have been a busy kitty these past two weeks, over seeing my mom and her spring cleaning and having lots of visitors. In the rush my mom took me over to the Vet and well… the one thing I am not happy about. They put me out with this gas and then they looked at my paw. Next thing I know I woke up and I had all these strange bandages in my leg and sticky thing on one of my back legs. I rested for a couple of hours and then my mom came and got me. And she took me home. My mom seems sad. Monday I went to the Vet and she took off the bandage and showed my mom my leg and paw. I know something doesn’t feel right. I can’t seem to walk on it all the way. I look down and I know I had a full paw long nails, and long legs. My mom is sad when she looks at my leg. It looks like they took away the pain in my paw along with half of my paw and my toes. My mom just holds me and tells me she is so sorry about my loss. She thinks she has does something to make me look horrible. But she took away the cancer in my paw. I don’t hurt so much. I can wobble around fine for now. My mom did the right thing she shouldn’t feel so bad the cancer was going to eat the whole paw if she didn’t do this for me. I hug her and tell her that I am ok. But she doesn’t understand. The medicines I am on are just awful and twice a day at that. I am a druggy kitty. I take my meds and then I go sleep for 6 hours. I wake up I eat all the food down and drink all I can. It’s hard to drink with an Elizabethan collar on but I make do.


Recovering
October

Trying to look on the bright side..

My mommy took me to the vet again to have them look at my paw that seems to never heal. It was bleeding pretty badly. I just can’t seem to help making it hurt more and more. So they took me to the vet. My vet is a nice lady. All she wanted to do was take a cell sample and then wrap it up. Well, lets just say then I came back to my parents after the whole doctoring part my vet needed doctoring. So now I have a weird boot thing on my long front leg. It is driving me crazy. My mommy got news today about my condition.
I have a cancerous tumor in my paw that I am trying to dig out. That’s why I won’t let it heal. The vet wants to operate and remove the tumor from my paw and amputate my little toe. My mom is already devastated about everything. The fact that I have an odd form of cancer doesn’t help her. My mom loves on me from the minute she walks in the door after work till its bedtime. Sometimes though I am tired and just want a quiet space to sleep away from everyone. She’s worried and sad I can hear her whispers when she talks to me. I wished I could talk back. But all I can do to comfort her is stretch my long legs out and press my paws to her face.

October

I went to the Vet Yesterday

My mom took me to the vet yesterday after she took me to the pet food place in my soft-side carrier. I have never seen so much food in so many choices. I had a great time with everyone in the store. They all liked how quiet and well behaved I am.

After the pet food place, we went to the vet. They found a mass on my left side of my abdomen. My mommy cried and cried. She cried so much because her heart hurt. Our friend Kenny passed barely two years ago to cancer. That wound is deep in her heart and now I am sick as well. I tried to show her that I love her and hugged on her neck and nuzzled her tear streaked cheek. She told me she was sorry that I was sick. She told me that she feels like she failed me. I have been with my mom since I was a kitten and was hit by that nasty car. She hasn’t failed me though she takes me to the Vet for my allergies and she takes good care of me. I am her rock. And secretly she is mine. I will let you know more as the biopsy results come back.

Heloise “October”