November 11th 2007 6:04 pm
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Today I was the Catron of Honor in my furriends Rennie and Gizmo's wedding! It was a beautiful ceremony, despite all the fleas that were flying around Catster! I wish Rennie and Gizmo all the happiness in the universe!
I also received a letter from Mommy today. She sent it a day early because she has to work tomorrow.
My precious Tabby Girl,
I never thought much of the number 12 before. You know ... 12 ... the number before the "evil" 13. The number that marks the middle of the day. Overall, by itself, it's just not a very exciting number.
I can say the same for Monday. It's the day after Sunday. The start of the work week for the majority of humans. Except, of course, for those of us who work in the health care industry and sometimes work weekends. Perhaps that's why I never made a big deal about Mondays.
I never made a big deal about them, until I lost you.
It was Monday, March 12th that I made the difficult decision to help you go to the Rainbow Bridge. Ever since then, I cannot help but notice that it is the 12th of the month, or a Monday, and take more than a few moments to remember you and the love that you showed me during your short time on earth. This month is especially significant because this is the first time since you left this earth that the 12th of the month has fallen on a Monday! So it is only natural that I have been thinking of you more than usual.
You may remember that after you left me, I had a hard time remembering the good times. You were sick for so long that that's how I remembered you - as a sick, skinny, frail little girl that I deperately wanted to see healthy again. But I couldn't remember a time when you WERE healthy. Well, the other night I was driving home from work and started thinking about you. I started thinking about how when I brought you home, that night you rubbed your face on my face over and over. Being a new cat mom, I thought this meant you loved me, but I wasn't sure. Not until your Aunt Linda came over and you walked past everyone and came over to me and rubbed your face on my face. Aunt Linda said, "She LOVES you!" Then at night, you would curl up on me with your ear on the left side of my chest so you could hear my heart. This comforted you because I was ... and still very much am ... truly your Mommy. This became a nightly ritual that we did before I went to bed. Why did you stop doing this? I will never know, but it hurts like hell to know that you'll never do it again. I also remember letting you lay on me in bed even though my eyes were itching and watering like crazy ... all because I didn't want you to stop purring.
Those were precious, precious moments, Tabby ... and I will remember them for the rest of my life. No other kitty has done this with me. Not even Tucker, and you know how sweet he is and how much I love him.
I am so sorry I couldn't do more to help you. I'm sorry you couldn't have lived as long as kitties are supposed to. Or just another year, or another month, or I would have taken just another day! It does help that I can see that you're happy at the Rainbow Bridge through Catster and the RBK group. For me, this keeps your memory alive in my mind.
I love you, my sweet Tabby Girl! I have always loved you, and will love you forever.
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