April 12th 2007 6:40 pm
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I went to the Rainbow Bridge on March 12, 2007, just one week after my specialist appointment. Following is a note that my mommy wrote to me on my one month anniversary of going to the Rainbow Bridge:
Tabby, I love you so much. Monday, March 12th had to be the worst day of my life.
I was so worried about you because you weren't eating again. So I called your vet and they told me to bring you right in! I was so grateful to them. I thought they would give you some fluids in your back like last time and you'd be okay. They told me they could do that, or they could run all of your bloodwork again to see how dehydrated you were. I chose the bloodwork. So you spent the morning at the vet. Then I got a call from your vet - normally one of the nurses called me to give me an update, but this time it was the vet herself. She told me your kidneys were failing. Your BUN was 130 and your creatinine was 10.2. Sweetie, you know mommy is a nurse for humans and I understood what these numbers meant.
Grandma and I went over to the vet to discuss what to do. I could have taken you to the emergency vet to have you admitted for a few days. They could have given you fluids in your veins. But honey, you were so sick for so long. I didn't know your kidneys were failing on top of all of your other illnesses. I'm upset that I didn't recognize the symptoms earlier. Please forgive me.
Making the decision to let you go was the hardest decision I ever made. They asked me if I wanted them to bring you to me while I thought about it and at first I said NO!!! How could I say no? Please understand that mommy was hurting really bad and I wasn't thinking straight. But then I did tell them to bring you in and I held you. For a good hour. I felt how skinny you were. You were skin and bones and fur. That's all. No muscle. One thing that stays in my mind is how the vet said that even if we go ahead with treatment, you wouldn't "have much of a kitty life".
Also, please forgive me that I wasn't with you when you took your last breaths. It's not that I don't love you - it's that I DO love you and I don't think I could have handled seeing you go to sleep one last time.
I'm not sure why you had kidney failure. I think it may have been the food. I'm so sorry I gave you that food.
Thank you for sending Tessie to me! Don't think that I didn't notice that she came to the shelter on the same day you left me! She's an absolute doll and Tucker just loves her.
Tabby, you will always have a special place in my heart, and I will never forget you.
Your Mommy Lisa
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