Black ball of cuteness

How to pill a cat

February 4th 2008 11:57 am
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Found this online and it gave me a good laugh :D

How to give a cat a pill


1. Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa.

Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.
Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

4. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl, and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.

Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws.

Ignore low growls emitted by cat.

Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth.

Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

5. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap.

Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains.

Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.
Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit.

Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

6. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans.

Drink glass of water to take taste away.

Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

Retrieve cat from neighbours shed.

Get another pill.

Place cat in cupboard & close door onto neck to leave head showing.

Force mouth open with dessert spoon.

Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

7. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges.

Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus jab.

Throw T-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

Ring fire brigade to retrieve cat from tree across the road.

Apologise to neighbour who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat.

Arrange for SPCA to collect cat, and ring local pet shop to see if they have any goldfish.
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Hhehehe...It reminds me of what I go through to try and get Jasper to take his pills. But not that extreme hah...and I wouldn't give him to the SPCA I'd just do it all over again the next day! XD

 

Catnip Fiend

June 11th 2007 8:37 pm
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Jasper's mommy: So, I bring in the bag of pet food I bought the other day. I also bought a plastic container of catnip for Jasper's toys because I sprinkled some on to attract him to them and stuff and he seems to like it. Bag is by the stairs on the floor. Jasper goes to the bag, takes the catnip out of the bag, starts playing with the container. It's really cute. And Kodi [my dog] gets jealous and chases him up and down the stairs a few times, eventually having fun with it, then Jasper comes back down to play with the catnip container.

Watching TV....la la la....suddenly...cat is only playing with the lid of the catnip...hmmmm...I go over....catnip alll over the carpet. Cat is on the steps like, 'look I got it open, mommy!' So, I clean it up. Luckily catnip is easy to clean.

The conclusion to this; now Jasper is running around the house like he's on crack [its 11:30 pm]. I know he's USUALLY psycho like he's on crack but it seriously seems like he's on crack right now. Who knows how much catnip he ate. I mean, I usually just sprinkle a pinch of it on his toys, like the instructions on the toys say.

Gonna be a long night.

Jasper: WHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!

 

Rub-a-dub-dub!

January 27th 2007 1:26 pm
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I just got my first bath! And let me tell you...that is the LAST time I will ever have a bath. I thought I was going into the bathroom to watch mommy spray water all over herself like she usually does...I dunno why...but noooo she was there to put water on me! Mommy put me on the counter next to the sink that was filled with some water...she tried putting me in there but nope...then she tried doing the half way in...but nope...all I did was climb out and curl up against her chest.

That's when I thought I was safe, but no...she takes glasses of water and pours them on me as I'm supposedly safe. Geeze the water wasn't fun. I looked like a wet rat! Then mommy put some of the baby shampoo on me...which felt pretty good..but I didn't like getting it on my legs...and I gave mommy a tough time getting my belly. Then, comes more water! Mommy got just as wet as I did. She said that if I ever had to get a bath again she would put us both in the bath tube...I don't even wanna know what that is.

But, after I was all rinsed off she wrapped me in a towel and started to dry me off. That's when I started getting really nervous and cold, shivering. Mommy did so blow drying and brushing at the same time as I sat next to her. I didn't wanna stay that long...so as long as I was dryer then I was mommy let me go. She bought me back into 'my' room and now I'm trying to lick all this cleanness of me. I clean myself just fine! Ugh...never doing that again. But I survived!

Note from mommy:

Jasper did really good! He didn't scratch me or meow at all! Though he was really squirmy and I got drenched more times then he did trying to pour the water on his body. I think towards the ending rinses he started to get cold or really nervous cause I could feel him shaking and he was staying put, not squirming as much.

But, all in all it wasn't an awful experience! He acted somewhat like my dog, Kodi does when getting a bath. He'll let you do it but he'll be scared outta his wits the entire time. Well, now Jasper should be completely free of flea dirt! On Monday he goes to get another dose of Revolution and we'll know that the fleas are plaguing him no more!

Thanks all those Catsters for the great bathing advice!

 

Uh oh, I have a cold!

January 23rd 2007 8:47 pm
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Mommy bought me to the vet yesterday. I was very well behaved as the vet concluded that I do indeed have a cold. She gave me a shot of Penacilin, an antibiodic liquid [ew], a congestan pill, and another vitamin. Mommy isn't too happy about having to force the pills/liquids down my throat since I hate it...but it is making me feel better...I just don't wanna take it.

The vet said that if it wasn't for my mommy rescuing me when she did I may not have survived. It's a scary thought...but I couldn't be happier even if I am sniffling and sneezing!

 

Wowies! Thank you Catster!

January 16th 2007 8:42 am
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Mommy couldn't believe what was in her pawbox this morning. A message saying my diary was picked to be one of today's [Jan 16, 2007]'s featured diaries and it will be displayed all day on Diary Central!!!

This is the first time Mommy even decided to start a diary. My dog brother, Kodi isn't even this lucky. I feel so honored. I hadn't even started my diary for more then a week or so.

Thank you Catster! This has made my day purrfect!

 

Finally!

January 13th 2007 4:12 pm
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It's official, I have a name! After everyone's great suggestions that my family received they decided on Jasper.

It's so great having a new home and a new family! They say I'm still alittle terror but I'm a baby! I whine and get into everything but I'm feeling so much better! Bye bye icky fleas!

 

What's my name?

January 10th 2007 5:27 pm
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I love my new family and I'm starting to feel much better! BUT, my family can't decide on a name for me! They were gonna name me Kona but it's so similiar to Kodi, the dog, that the dog is getting confused and so is my family. Guess it wasn't as cute an idea.

Now they are thinking of naming me Jasper. Hmm...they're gonna let it sit and see how it sounds before making a final decision.

 
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