HAPPY Birthday to MEEEEEEEEeeeeoooooowwwww

It's my Birthday. I wonder what I'm getting from everybody. I'm sooooo excited. I'm laying on my favorite pillow on Mommy and Daddy's pillows waiting.....waiting.....Oh I hear the door...Vroooom
Well...Mom is home and nothin doin. No presents. I gave her the look like...."Do you KNOW what day it is deary?" I guess not. Sigh. Perhaps Dad will remember. Back up stairs to Daddy's pillah. Darn I wish I hadn't had that hairball yesterday.
Well...Dad came home on his bike, and he petted me and gave me cookies, but no presents...Not even some nip. Sigh. I REALLY wish I could barf up a lung or something right now.
Hey...At least I may have some type of gift this weekend. Peace and Quiet. They are going away for the weekend. They leave me plenty of food and water and lots of Kat Kookies...Yummy. I guess I still love them. Ummmm, Yah I do. Meow. I miss them. Sunday is not far off.
Wait...The phone is ringing. I'm watchin the Big Cats Show on the Discover Channel...Darn it...Hey it's Mommy & Daddy singing Happy Birthday to me. If I were human I would cry. I do love them so. Nighty night.

Auntie Shelley

Meow Meow. My Auntie Shelley went in to some big building that has lots of those tall people in white coats that like to poke and prod you to make you betterer. She needs some fixin for her back. My Dad tells me she needs to sleep while they do the back fixin. I know when I go to the white coat people they put me on this cold metal table....Oooo I hate that. It feels like my legs and tail want to crawl up inside my body. Why can't they heat that table, I would be so much more relaxed. I hope she doesn't get the ice cold table...brrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Maybe they gave her some Nip to relax her. Hope you feel betterer Auntie. I'm sure Scooter and Cricket miss you terribly, and are taking naps in your honor. I'm laying on my cozy heater after thinking of that cold metal table...Brrrrrrrrrrr....Luv you Auntie. You'll be leaping from chair to couch to counters, and cooking delicious yum yums in no time. XX OO Meow Meow.

Cat Diary for the Day

Woah....I was one of today's featured diaries on Catster. Woah. I was honored and I slept right through it. Darn it. I didn't even see it. Just a minute. I'll be right back.
Meow Meeeeow Meeeeowwww. Mmmph Mmmmph Mmmmmph BLAP.
Okay I'm back. I just had to go tell my servants that I was very upset that they didn't tell me about this honor till much much later. Thank you Catster for noticing me...As for my servants...Enjoy the cleanup.

Happy Annivvv...Anniver...happy...zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Well it seems that no day goes without some celebration around here. My Aunt Shellster and Unkul Erik are celebrating some sort of marri...marr...mar...yawn...zzzzzzzzzzz...Wha? Oh! Excuse me. It must've been the sun coming throu th a;s k zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Wha? There I go again. It's their 1 year anni...annihver....annive....1 year of being married. Darn long words...I'm a cat, not a walking dictionary.
Anyway...Happy A-N-N-I-V-E-R-S-A-R-Y. Ha! Got it.
Now off to have a snack on your behalf...and perhaps a hairball. Now where are those servants when you need them...Hellllloooooo. Ah, there you are my good man...I'd like.......

Valentine's Schmalentine's

My Mommy and Daddy go off for 4 days...Come back to a blap free house just in time for Valentine's day and what do I get?! A great big hug, several kisses, Cookie Treats and hours upon hours of petting and praises! I LOVE my caretakers!
What? Oh...You thought I was going to lambaste them for leaving me all alone with plenty of food, water, extra bed space, and HEAT....Well they did leave without showing me how to use the remote for the TV, but after talking to my Catster Friends I was able to watch Animal Planet. Happy Valentine's Day to all my Catster Friends

Kind words

I am being told by Dad that it's Scooter and Cricket's Mommy's Birthday. Meow Meow. With all these birthdays and presents flying around these past few months I'm wondering when I will get a piece of this action. Sigh. Perhaps I will go ask for a treat. I will suspend all hairball blapping for today...and go lay by the heater all day to honor Auntie's Birthday. Meeeow Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Who said I was done?

Just as a final notice of my displeasure for the torture I received the other day. I left two more hairballs right next to Dad's shoes today. These had a 96.5% hair consistency. I didn't have the heart to put it in his shoes. Darn conscience! I must be getting kinder......Nahhhhhh. He managed to step around the hairbaills on his way down the steps. By the time he looked up to the top of the steps, there I was looking right at him. It was ON...A stare off! Poor human...Never had a chance. I used that, "Don't even think about brushing my teeth again" look. He blinked right after that. WINNAH! OR as my friend Scooter would say "RET RAH!" I then came downstairs, laid down on the floor, gave him the irresistible cute face, the full body stretch with paws extended, and a small meow...He was putty in my paws. Mmmwahahahahaaaaa. Petting commenced and I can now put "revenge" back on the shelf...for now.

Revenge

Revenge is a dish best served in the form of a big, nasty, food-hairball. Being the day after my teeth brushing torture I decided to leave a nice big moist lump right on Dad's blanket! You know the kind, my feline friends. The ones that have the right mixture of hair and food content with the right amount of tackiness so it sticks to objects. Now, I thought that was revenge enough. I was prepared for the usual: The "what happened here" looks, followed by my name being called in elongated form ("Piiiiiiiiipeeennnnnnn"), then the consoling asking if I was okay, then "the mess" would be cleaned up, which is followed by petting, cookies, and playtime. What a softy my servan...I mean caretakers are. I love them. They are always fun to watch.

Meow mrow phhhhhh. I'm sorry but this next part is too funny. Well, upon arrival Dad came upstairs and saw me lying in my favorite spot at the head of the bed, next to the heater (did I mention how much I love that heater....It's Purrrrrific). The fool went to lay down on the bed to pet me annnnnd...Yup you guessed it, laid right on it! He laid there for about 5 minutes and didn't seem to notice IT while he was petting me. I'm amazed my flying saucer eyes and fits of laughter didn't give it away. He then stopped petting me and mumbled something about his leg feeling wet. Suddenly he bolted up off the bed looking at his pant leg and saw the hairball stuck to him. I heard all sorts of loud human tones as Dad vacated the area and made a beeline for the bathroom. I never laughed so hard. Oh! That was great. Revenge is sooooo sweet.

Attacked by a Toothbrush

Here I lay by my favorite heater as I enter my FIRST Catster Diary. My friends Scooter and Cricket kept on telling me to write stuff down so I can express my inner cattiness, but I ignored them. "Inner Cattiness", pfffffffftt hisssss. I never thought that I would be doing this. Oh well. I hope you like the entry because it's an important warning to all my feline friends out there.

Oy! Tonight my human servants rebelled against me with some kind of torture device. I see them torture themselves like this every night before I send them to bed. Humans are a weird species indeed. I should have known something was going down when I saw the two conversing whilst sending over the occasional head nod in my direction. It was a very subtle head nod so I didn't think much of it...I shan't make that mistake again. I saw them hunting around for something. Usually the one called "Dad" is always losing something and forever looking for the "lost item". Little does he know that it's I that's hiding these items, what a fool. It's great entertainment. Anyway, as I was saying, I thought they were looking for his brush, which I hid under one of the dressers, when I saw "Dad" go upstairs. "Mom" was downstairs looking for something as well (darn these humans they'd forget their heads if they weren't attached). "Dad" claimed to have found the lost item, and came back downstairs. He knelt by the table, in front of the noisy moving picture tube device, and put on these strange finger extension devices. "Mom" excreted some white paste-like substance out of this tube and onto this finger extension device. "Dad" looked at me with one of his strange gagging "cutesy" faces. I, being so curious, came over to inspect what they had found. I thought it may have been some new type of Nip that I could smear around my lips to get a longer buzz, but alas it was an evil trap planned by my human servants. They went to grab me, too slow and way too early, and I zipped upstairs to my hiding spot. I heard "Dad" come upstairs...Unfortunately for me he can reach me wherever I go. He came into the room, and removed me from my cozy hiding spot, the nerve of this guy. I'm going to get myself one of those Taser Guns, but I heard something about opposable thumbs being a prerequisite. I'll have to send the makers of this device an email and give them a piece of my mind...But alas, I digress. He took me out, put me in some type of hold where I could not escape and began torturing my teeth with this paste-like substance that was put on this small finger brush device. It was endless torture, and the stuff tasted horrible. I started to perform a delicate twisting maneuver and managed to kick out a leg. Hah! I got him on the foot with my hind claw. That will teach him!

Another few minutes and it was over. Yuck! That stuff is disgusting. I gave him one of those "Don't you ever come near me again...I curse your race of beings...If you weren't needed I would have you destroyed" looks. He then shook my favorite cookie jar and turned on the sad face. I looked away. I hate it when he does that! No...I couldn't look...Oh no! He opened the cookie jar...I smell Salmon...No Tuna...No Shrimp...No Salmon...No Tuna...Ahhhhh, and then I looked...I was dooomed! I saw him with those sad eyes that said "I'm Sorry" and THE TUNA & SALMON COOKIES!

Oh well, forgive and forget they always say. Meow...Yummy, crunchy cookies, and my teeth feel surprisingly clean. Perhaps it's not so bad after all. I got several more hours of petting, playtime, and attention from my human slaves...for a few minutes of torture. It's not...SMACK...Great Bast what am I saying. I'm attacking anything remotely out of the ordinary next time. Unless there's Nip and cookies involved. I love this heater, it's so warm. No I must resist...But the NIP...Hmmmmm...Oh, the heater, Heat...Zzzzzzzzzzzz. I need to go to more CCA meetings (Curious Cats Anonymous). Nighty night. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz