All cats are grey at night

A New Tag

What is your name? Anük. Nük, if you're lazy. Nuk if you can't figure out the html trick for umlauts.
More importantly is how you say it. It's "Nuk"(e) - like the bomb. NEVER "Nu(c)k"

What other nicknames do you have? I've been called everything under the sun. Handsome Devil, Monster, Supervisor Cat,
Nukinator, Terrorizer, Handsome man, My handsome, Special guy, Nuk Dawg, Kitty Dawg, My little pony, and when I'm making my "sweet loving" face, I've been called Henry. (I don't know why)

What breed are you? The most common. Domestic Short Hair. More importantly, I'm a Brown Mackerel Tabby

Where were you born? Locally, I guess.

Where do you live now? Bethlehem, PA

What is your favorite toy? She's big, she's fluffy, she's cream colored and some may even say she's "fat"

What is your favorite store? Where ever my Zoom Groom was bought at.

How many toys do you have? A large silver bowl full

Wet or dry food? Dry, but I like the wet stuff once in awhile.

What is your favorite color? I seem to like pink, but light blue is a close second.

Are you bad when nobody's looking? MoL - Define "bad"
Seriously... I am "bad" whenever I want to be.

Are you friendly? That depends. Do I know you and love you? Do I want something?
I wasn't friendly to those CCL, but I say "goodnight" everynight to my Angel by laying on her chest and nuzzling her.

Are you overweight? NO! If anything, I could probably gain a pound or two without anybody noticing.

Do you eat people food? NO! Have you seen what my people eat?!

Do you eat bugs? Sometimes...

Do you live with other animals? I have a harem of 2 feline sisfurs.

Do you like to exercise? When I play with my toy and I've been known to jump nearly 5 feet up for a dangling necklace or the Cat Dancer.

Do you like car rides? No! A car ride means one thing - VET

Do you get into stuff? Yes! I've knocked things off of my Angel's dresser. Nothing can be kept on the bathroom windowsill because of me too.

Do you like to swim? No. I fell in the bathtub one time, while my Angel was bathing. Neither of us enjoyed it.

What is your favorite treat? I had a Royal Canin Urinary SO wet pack that was good one time.

Do you shed? Yes, but I would a lot more, if I didn't solicit regular Zoom Groomings.

What's the funniest thing you ever did? Knocking the catnip container out of my Angel's hands and causing it to spill ALL over the carpet.

What's the bravest thing you ever did? Approach my Angel for "help" that night we met.

Are you neutered? Yes... Some one "picked my pockets"

Are you a social animal? Yes, I require a harem.

Collar or harness? Harness

Retractable or regular leash? Regular leash, usually wrapped tightly and many times around my Angel's hand.

Ceramic, Metal or Plastic bowls?Metal and Glass

Do you sleep in a crate? No!! I sleep where ever I want to.

Do you have a bed? Gabby's Hazel Lucy Blanket makes a nice bed, my humans have a nice bed (that I share with them) The sofa makes a nice bed. My sentry post is a nice bed. My bed is where I make it.

Do you have a doghouse? NO, they're for dogs. I don't like to be *in* things. Except when I'm in my *undisclosed location*

Do you belong to any clubs? I have some Catster groups that
I'm in.

How does your owner describe you? I don't have an "owner" - I have a helper and an Angel. I've heard them say that I'm "one of a kind" and "I'm smart and clever"

Things I am Thankful For {Ishtar's Tag of me}

Sweets friend Ishtar tagged me for this game. She wants to read what 5 things "I'm Thankful For"

1.
I'm thankful for my home, for my family. For the fact that I don't need to scrounge for food and no longer need to eat only what I can catch or what is discarded by humans. I have a family who loves me. A Saving Angel who adores me. All my needs are satisfied.

2.
I am thankful that Sweets came home. Her *smell* does not cause me to attack her now. It is part of the *deal* with my family, that I shall always be provided with a harem of 2 girly kitties. No more, no less.

3.
I am thankful for my Zoom Groom. If no kitty will lick my head - this Zoom Groom makes a pretty good substitute.

4.
I am thankful for my friends. For their friendship, their guidance, their support and their differing points of view. How boringly the world would be... If we were all in agreement, all the time.
On the side note of that. I am thankful that we came to Catster. How would I ever have met you, had we not come.

5.
I am thankful for the Crazy Catster Ladies, who used their time and resources to bring Gabby home to us. They re-completed our family (my harem)
Before Gabby, I never knew that a girl-cat could exist in such pure sweetness, without drama and without vengeance.

Today I am...

Today I am five. (Well, I don't really know that. I was *guessed* to be around 2 years old when I met my Saving Angel)

What I do know though is that I've been with my family for 3 years now.
I know it was 11 November, near midnight when I first saw my Angel and made her mine.

We found our way to Catster one month and 1 day later. It is *my* profile that was first made here. (Taag's was put in the same night and Sweets came in the next Spring. Gabby's? Everybody knows Gabby.)

I've already got the day off to a good start. A rousing Gabby chase through the house. I hope somewhere in this day is a catnip party and something tasty.
(We haven't worked out "treats" yet - because the Smacky Tomato needs special food and we ALL have to eat it too. (Although, my food and Gabby's is still mixed with our EVO, to titrate us off of it. I guess so that we don't have 3 upset stomachs here.)
The rest of our EVO though (and another unopened bag) went to Smacky's old shelter on Monday night. So I can't even raid the "larder."

I'm sure I can make my softest, most tender face and get a zoom-grooming or two. Maybe an afternoon nap on my Angel's chest.

It is my birthday... after all.

My sisfur the zombie

Ok, maybe not quite so dramatic as that...

But, I had studied the ancient tomes and believed that I found the incantation that would return Sweets home.

I had been repeating and repeating it all day. To my surprise the un-neutered one appeared (which was not the magic I had been hoping to work.)
He picked up the pink carrier, took my Angel with him and they both disappeared.
Did he put her in the carrier?! - I don't know.
I was so shocked by causing yet another banishing and this time of my humans, that I had run to my *undisclosed location* to study the ancient texts for any mention of this.

A long while later they came back home and this time, magically appearing within the pink carrier was Sweets.

It worked! I brought them all back from banishment !

I wanted to smell my sisfur though, but she wouldn't let me anywhere near her. I stayed my distance and sniffed the air. There were all sorts of strange smells associated with her, but nothing that triggered me to attack.
She looks silly though. Her 2 front feet have areas missing hair and her belly is shaved nekkid with a scar line running down the middle of her low belly.

Later my Angel and the U.n.O took Sweets into the bathroom. I know the bathroom is often used as the "medicine chamber" where all sorts of "treatments" and foul tasting substances are administered all in the name of Healing

When Sweets came out, she looked angry. I wanted to ask her what they did to her in there, but I didn't want to risk being swatted with her "Smacky Paw"
I sat under the coffee table to observe everyone and watched Sweets climb up on my humans and cuddle there. (She's the only one who can really fit on them like that, so let her.)

Then a most amazing and yet disturbing transformation occurred.
Sweets' eyes went large and distant. She looked like a man I saw on TV once singing with Stephen Colbert. She looked like Willie Nelson.
MoL
Gone was the brazen, razor edge Sweets and in her place was this zombie....
A creature who was neither here nor there. A creature who appeared far too tranquil.

Either some VERY strange magic goes on in that bathroom or the effects of the banishing linger with my sisfur. Either way, I suspect the transformation to be only temporary.

I'm starting to feel guilty.

I'm starting to feel guilty.

I'm responsible for my sisfurs. I'm their "Dear Leader" :)
Maybe I shouldn't have made the "banishing" on Sweets

I'm working on the reverse magic that will bring her back... So far I haven't had any luck.

I went to my *undisclosed location* to try to learn the magic meows that will bring Sweets home. But, even that was no good. I couldn't concentrate.

I went to my "magic cave" - and tried to work an ancient meow from there. But, my Angel interrupted that and I only got to half cast the meow of un-banishing.

I went on patrol through the house afterwards. Thinking, "Well, maybe only half a Meow of unbanishing will result in a half a Sweets appearance."
I looked in all of Sweets' favorite hangouts. But she wasn't there. Not a half Sweets, not a whole Sweets either...

Miss Lucy,
If I can't bring Sweets back from the banishment, I'm going need a session or so with your Mommy.

Miss Winnie,
Good Morning ! I expect to hear your diva shriek all the way here in PA, once the big flying bird lands.

Miz Rose,
You NEED to believe that you are possessed in order for me to help you. If you deny the truth. I can not help you be saved.
:(

Miss Ishtar,
That is the scariest thing I have ever heard. It makes my fur stand on end to even imagine a "double pack"
Imagine! Getting smacky pawed by you two !

/Shivers and shakes himself. Wanders off mumbling...

I have THE Power - GirlCats Stand on Guard !!!

I have THE Power. Yes, Yes I do.
I can make a girl-cat disappear.

Oh... you doubt my power? Well witness this !

Today, Sweets was here - and NOW she's not.
Tadaam

Like magic, I made the stinky stony one disappear.

Beware Ladies ! Be on your guard.
I could do it to you

MuahahahA

I have an important role in this family....

First off, the weather cooled off quite a bit here. I saw some snow fall and the heavy, heavy blankets are out on the bed.

That's my signal that it's time to begin again (for the colder season) my "Goodnight" ritual with my Angel.
It's my job to run ahead of her when she's going to bed and sit on the side of the bed waiting for her to get in. Once she's situated in the bed I climb to sit on her chest and I bump her hand to get her to pet me. Purring like a truck motor all the while. I sit for however long it takes to say a *proper* Goodnight and then I leave to go sleep somewhere else.

I also have another (more important) role in this family and that is:
Annunciator of Diseases
When somecat is sick here, I have a way of letting my family know that something is wrong with that cat - even before any symptom starts to show.

I've been extra aggressive with Sweets. That's because I could smell those stones in her. I don't like the smell of those stones. One day, my Angel had just lain down for a nap. That stinky stony Sweets came into the bedroom to be with her. I said "No, No, NO... - YOU stink of disease!"
I cornered Sweets against the wall in the one corner of the bedroom and terrorized her.

...Of course being a Drama Queen that little stony stinker started screaming her head off - like she was being murdered. I hadn't even put a paw on her.
What reward do I get for my Annunciation? I get chased away from Sweets.

But you know... Annunciator of Diseases is a job that doesn't end with a chasing away. So a little later, I found that Sweets and started back up with her, right where I had left off.
Doesn't she start with the screaming her head off - again!
This wakes my Angel up and I get chased away from Sweets again.

"What has gotten into you?" - My Angel asked me. But then, it was almost as if I could see the lightbulb of comprehension growing brighter above my Angel's head....
and she looked at Sweets and said "What's the matter with you?"

Sure enough. About 2 days later that stony stinker started *announcing* before and after she was going to use the box. She started going to the box more often and leaving smaller pees.

What was next? The call to the VET - the pink carrier comes out and away she goes... and I just smiled. Because I knew I was right. That stony stinker is sick and now everybody knows it !!!

Halloween Tag

I was tagged to play halloween tag. By Pharoah Loki
Five things I like...

1.
The down alternative blanket goes on the bed - I just love that big, squishy blanket.

2.
I get extra grooming - to help my summer coat get off of me

3.
The heat goes on and Sweets will sit there baking herself and leave off the smacky paw for a season.

4.
Squirrels are running crazy to gather things for winter - It's my favorite *show*

5.
I'm actually allowed to settle myself on my Angel or the U-N.O.'s chest and lie there for awhile ! If they're sleeping on their backs.

*My* Cricket ! / A.K.A - Can I get a Typist up in here?!

3 !!! nights ago *I* found a cricket in the house. My keen hunter's sense saw that thing hop and I tracked it and cornered it in the low shelf of the one bookcase.

My actions caused the nosy Gabby to get up off the couch and come see what I was up to.
"What are you doing?" she asked me
"Hunting!"
"Need some help?"
"No, I don't need any help, why don't you go eat or something, I've got my prey cornered here. There's nothing for you to do, except GO AWAY!."

Being a girl means that she doesn't listen. I don't know if you girls can listen, but just don't want to or if you are physically unable to.

*sigh*

The next thing I see is Gabby stuffing herself into the low bookcase shelf where my cricket is cornered.
Halfway in she put herself...

Well that got the un-neutered one's attention. Off the couch he comes to ask her "Gabby! what are you doing?"
"Stealing my cornered cricket, is what she's doing!" and I composed myself into my most *indignant* posture.

The U-N.O. gently pulled the "Fluff-a-lump-a-gous" out from the bookcase, saw the cricket and said. "What a good girl you are, Gabby! You caught a cricket."

I gagged. "Good?" "Gabby?" "Caught?"
What?!?!?

The U-N.O. called out to my Angel "Gabby caught a cricket in here!"
I gagged again....
My angel started shrieking about crickets in the house being good luck and that the cricket had to be put back outside unharmed.

The U-N.O. took *my* cricket cupped in his hand to the back door. I followed right along side of him "I caught that cricket!" "Hey! Where you going with *my* cricket?"

Together he and my angel went out to the hydrangea bush and set *my* cricket free!
When the U-N.O. came back in and sat himself down on the couch, I went and sat next to him. I tried to tell him that "I get the credit, I hunted that cricket it was *mine*!"
But he wasn't listening.

I stretched full out to show him how long and how big I am. I extended my claws so that he might see my mightiness.
He finally looked at me.
"What's up handsome?" he said. "Do you wish that you had caught that cricket?"

"No" I thought... "I wish to neuter you while you sleep!" and I smiled and walked over to my Angel.

I would have told you all this sooner, but I can't seem to get my Angel to type for me. Terrible! she says "she's busy"
Hmmm... busy with what looks like silliness to me.

I Haiku... Do You ?!

Girl cats are stinky
But maybe not that Tasha
Always nice to me

Beware smacky paw
Comes quickly out from nowhere
No reason for it

The black cat Aldo
Is missing some of his hair
Gone from there to there

Why? Empty food bowl
'Cause Gabby's always hungry
Gabby loves her food

To jest is to joke
My poor miserable friends
Wearing silly hats

What a week it was
Little Leo very sick
Improving each day

Cool, Mysterious
Does not dance with butterflies
Yep, that would be me

Cry Me a River...

Oh My...

I see Gabby is telling the WORLD that I "attacked" her while she was being groomed.

Well... and what ?!?
It's true, I did. I hit her on her head and then moved in for a bite at her neck.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Gabby looked all startled and she made my Angel scream my name at me. I did not "prance-run" away though. That's just my run. It's kind of like a nonchalant "trot."

Let's see, last time I checked *Alpha* meant "first" - "the beginning"
The last time I checked, I was the Alpha cat here.

So when that FURminator came, why wasn't I the first one it was used on?
No cat here likes groomings as much as me...

It was just wrong I tell you. My Angel was not observing the *natural* order of things here.

Then when it *was* my turn, not even an impressive amount of hair came off of me. (But you and I know that that's because I take such pride and good grooming care of my coat)

Oh and when you see Sweets? Ask her "Are we having an early *snow* this year?"
MoL
The FURminator stirred up some *flakes* on her.

ConCATulations to ♥ Tasha ♥ who correctly identified that my fur is in the middle of the furball picture.
=)

Our FURminator came today!

Yeah! Our FURminator came in today's mail. Of course it had to be *tested*

I don't know why it wasn't tested on me first, but Gabby got that honor.
I think I like it!

I Knew It Was Too Good To Be True ....

Today was Monday. That's the day the The Machine Whose Name Shall Not Be Spoken comes out to feed. As soon as I saw it stirring, I took off running for an *undisclosed location."

It usually starts at one end of the house and works its way through. It's fickle about where it starts though. There is really no predicting where it starts. Sometimes it starts in the middle even. (I'm convinced it does that just to keep us on our toes!)

I can't tell you where it started today, I had already safely removed myself from its ravenous mouth. I could hear it though, grinding and gnawing as it searched for cats to eat. First the sound was close and I shivered in my *undisclosed location.* Then the sound moved farther away, but I didn't relax. I could hear it chewing up first my one indoor "beach" and then the other. I could hear it digesting my bits of food that I throw on the floor around the food bowl.
Closer and closer the sound came...

Then my eyes grew wide. I smelled something! The Machine Whose Name Shall Not Be Spoken was sick. As the light of its terrible eye drew closer to my *undisclosed location* and as its mouth prepared to breach my seclusion. The Machine Whose Name Shall Not Be Spoken fell silent.

I did not move a muscle. I have seen The Machine Whose Name Shall Not Be Spoken use this "Play Dead" tactic before, only to start up again with a fierce growl. The horrible sick smell was everywhere!
I chanced a peek to see what was going on? My Angel had The Machine Whose Name Shall Not Be Spoken laid out on its side and was poking her fingers into its mouth.

I watched with dread, waiting for The Machine Whose Name Shall Not Be Spoken to rumble to life and eat my Angel whole, starting with her hand. It never happened. My Angel unhinged the monster's jaw and reached inside to pull out a broken black thing.

Next thing I know, The Machine Whose Name Shall Not Be Spoken was dragged away by my Angel to its usual resting place.
I rejoiced. Whatever my Angel had taken out of its mouth, rendered The Machine Whose Name Shall Not Be Spoken unable to eat anymore!
The terror was OVER ! - We had WON !
I dared to hope...
Perhaps my purrayers that it would *choke* on Gabby hair had finally been answered.

I came out from my *undisclosed location* and loved all over my Angel to show her my gratitude. She brushed me and talked to me and we were happy.

The un-neutered one came home on his break and my Angel gave him the sick part from The Machine Whose Name Shall Not Be Spoken's mouth. He said it was a "belt" (It looked like a *tongue* to me!)
He said he would get a new "belt" on his way back to work and restore The Machine Whose Name Shall Not Be Spoken.
True to his word, when he came home tonight, he had that "belt/tongue" with him.

I watched as he too opened The Machine Whose Name Shall Not Be Spoken's mouth and worked around in there without being eaten. When he was finished he set The Machine Whose Name Shall Not Be Spoken upright. Put its tail into the wall and VARRROOOOOM - GRRROOOOWWWLLL it screamed. Just as fast though as it came to life, it went back to sleep again. Being sick must have tired it out, because it didn't finish the job it had started earlier in the day.

"Social Networking" is a TERRIBLE Thing...

"Social Networking" is a TERRIBLE Thing...

I could have titled this diary entry "Girls are you happy now?"

Sweets and Gabby have complained in the past that "compromising" pictures of them have been posted to their Catster pages. All the while sourly noting that I don't seem subject to the same "Embarrassments" that they are....

Well now it's happened to me too !
I understand that on a HUMAN Social Networking site there is now posted a picture of Gabby and I together on the couch.
(It's probably even up on my Catster profile by now)

Yeah and what?
She's warming my back... *I* was there first and she came up after me.
I didn't invite her - but I'm not turning down a freely given backwarming.
(What the camera doesn't show, is that every once in a while she'd kick me with those rabbity feet of hers.)

All while a guy's just trying to nap.

A Cat-Free Internet Day?

What blatant discrimination... I've seen pictures of EVERY animal on the internet. I've never seen a movement to have an ANY ANIMAL free internet day before.

... Until now! Oh, and of course it's in regards to we Cats.

Really though, while I'm disappointed... I'm not surprised. Many humans (not our beloved families though) have held low opinions of our species for ages.

Mistrusted, mistreated, maligned

• For most of human history, cats have been more cruelly and
persistently mistreated than any other animal.

– Up until the 70s, it was considered “beneath” a veterinarian
to treat cats.

– In an exploration of negative animal idioms, cats far outweigh
all other animal species as the subject of disgust or the brunt
of brutality:
• “There’s more than one way to skin a cat”
• “There’s not enough room to swing a cat”
• “Let the cat out of the bag”
• “See how the cat jumps”
• Movement to legalize the hunting of feral cats in early 2000's

Clearly we have an *Image* problem...

Cultural perceptions and stereotypes of cats
Disposable, Aloof, Haughty, Lazy, Anti-social, Brazen, Cunning, Predatory, Evil, Shabby, Feminine, Mischievous.

There are such lovely quotes about us:
“Cats are autocrats of naked self-interest. They are both amoral and immoral, consciously breaking rules. Their ‘evil’ look at such times is no human projection: the cat may be the only animal who savors the perverse or reflects upon it.”
~ Camille Paglia

“I don't want to actually spend time with my pet, that's why I'm getting a cat.”
~ Ron Parker

“You gotta have a boyfriend, don't you? Otherwise it's just you and a cat and before you know, 40 candles on your birthday cake.”
~ The Truth About Cats & Dogs, 1997

But it’s not like this everywhere...

• A study of Italy’s cats showed that over 90% of cats received good
quality care (only 1.7% of owned cats were in poor physical
condition)
– In Rome, Public Veterinary Services and associates of cat
lovers cooperate to manage feral cats.

• In Russia, cats have lived at the Hermitage in St. Petersberg since
the 18th century
– 50 cats are cared for by two full-time employees and have
their own press secretary.
– Museum staff make voluntary contributions to pay for their
upkeep.

Which suggests to me that our *Image* problem is a perceptual issue
that can be corrected, instead of an intrinsic issue with we Cats.

What we really need to do is:

• We need to increase the value of cats in society in order to;
– Increase the care and concern people show to their cats
(demonstrated by increased spending on veterinarian care,
pet products & medical)
– Decrease surrenders
– Increase adoptions

"Buying" into the *need* for a Cat-Free Internet Day is the same as buying into all the negative perceptions that are perpetuated against our species.

Besides if some human wants a Cat-Free day on the Internet, there is always the option of clicking the browser ' X ' button that will close the offending window.

Tadaam !!!

Ahoy!

My Pirate Name: Iron Sam Rackham
A pirate's life isn't easy; it takes a tough person. That's okay with you, though, since you a tough person. You have the good fortune of having a good name, since Rackham (pronounced RACKem, not rack-ham) is one of the coolest sounding surnames for a pirate. Arr!

Ship Name : The Rude Sea Wolf

My buttons are NUDE again

Whoo-hoo !!!

Catster HQ attempted to thwart my page and un-nuded my navigation buttons.
BUT
Callie Jean was quick on the draw too !
Callie's magnificent button bar and code generator site

Whee hee - The Nuky is Nudy again !!!

Oh yeah! See the button bar color set there called Twilight ?!
I named that color set. I suggested it and Callie liked it !
Name That Color (Part 2)


Pasta to the people !

OMC ! Taag won us a FURminator !

Back in mid-May through July Catster had a FURminator Giveaway Contest. Taag was the one who joined the group and remembered to enter us every day.

About 16 minutes ago, we got our...

Congratulations!

You’ve won a cat FURminator deShedding tool as part of a giveaway we had listed on Catster between mid May through July 31, 2009.

We had to write back with our home address, since we were only required to enter our email address in the contest.

There were many other emails on the mail from FURminator - We are looking forward to seeing who else won.

Taag ! Thank YOU! - Everytime I get FURminated I will think of you.
=)

Innuendo and Interrogation

I am not happy with the innuendo and interrogation going on here....

That Smacky Tomato Sweets has managed to again scratch her eye. We are in day 6 of treating that. As before, the Atropine ointment freezes her pupil in a constantly dilated position to give her pain relief from a spasming pupil.
We ALL must be in ambient *dimness* - so that the precious little one is not shocked with bright light into a pupil she can't contract.

My, oh my, is there a bunch of sickening cooing, baby talking and "awwww-ing" going on anytime Sweets is around. She sure is the Grand-Mistress of Sympathy-Elicitation

What I really did not appreciate though were the looks and questioning I got once the precious Smacky Tomato started up with her *pirate routine* ...
Gabby was instantly blameless. She is content to play with her toys and chase me, but has never play-fought with either me or Sweets.
Gabby had been sleeping that morning on her Hazel Lucy blanket and I was *pretending* to sleep on my sentry post. But we both were in plain view and had been for awhile when the Smacky Tomato came walking through the house all squinty and pirate-eyed.

After my family returned with the pirate from the vet's office, the un-neutered one started to give me sideways suspicious looks. He even said to me "You better hope that you had nothing to do with this..."

"What?!" I said... "I was right here, FAR away from the Smacky Tomato... "Oh and by the way... who is the fastest cat with the smacky paw?" I asked him. "It is not I - you know!"

The un-neutered one answered me - "I have seen you with Gabby fur in your claws before"

"Yes" - I told him "When I am stretched out on the coffee table and Gabby walks past with her tail waving high in the air like a flag - I can't help but try to grab it...."

The un-neutered one continued to interrogate me "I have seen you reach under the coffee table and grab at Gabby under there."

"Yes" I said "You have also seen her reach up and grab at me!" Then I asked him "Have you ever seen the Smacky Tomato and I doing that?"

He admitted that he hadn't and I then told him
"If you have any formal charges to make, make them, otherwise stop with the innuendo and interrogation."

Enrich your vocabulary

The Ch'orti' language (sometimes also Chorti) is a Mayan language, spoken by the indigenous Maya people who are also known as the Ch'orti' or Ch'orti' Maya. Ch'orti' is a direct descendant of the Classic Maya language in which many of the pre-Columbian inscriptions using the Maya script were written.
Ch'orti' is spoken mainly in Guatemala, and it is also indigenous to the adjacent areas of Honduras and El Salvador, where it is nearly extinct.

nuk - 'neck, stem, twig, inflorescence'

u-nuk - 'one's neck'

nuk u-k'ab - 'wrist'

nuk uy-ok - 'ankle'

nuk u-or uk'ab - 'knuckle'

nuk e puhr - 'neck of water jar'

nuk e koton - 'neck of shirt'

nuk uy-utir - 'twig of fruit'

nuk u-yopor - [nuk uyop'or] 'twig of leaf'

ah xur nuk - 'quebranto hueso (a bird)'

k'ot' nuk - [q'o't'.nuk] 'a strangling, strangulation'

k'ux nuk - [q'ux.nuk] 'pain in the neck, sore throat'

nukir - 'necklike, pertaining to the neck'

buhr nukir - [p'uhr.nukir] 'goitre ailment'

nukta' [nukut-a'] - 'large, thick, tall (used in reference to small objects; cf. noh and nohta')'

nukta'ich - [i'ch : chilli] 'chile chocolate, chile fuerte (variety of cert. chilli), any large chilli'

nukta' buur - 'lima bean, any large bean'

nukta' chihr - [chihr : fiber bag] 'large fiber bag'

nukta' chor - [chor : milpa] 'milpa when stalks are tall and grown'

nukta'un - 'large variety of avocado'

nukta'ar - 'large size, large part of anything, bigness'

nukta'aran [cl III-4] - 'get large, grow up'

nukta'ares [c.IIa-1] - 'enlarge, cause to grow'

nuk' [?nuk'] - 'leader of a vine'

nuk'ih [cl.II-1] - 'lead out, grow out (????), go ahead'

war anuk'ih e buur - 'the beans ??????

Objectification !

Bro-cats !

Oh isn't this simply *precious* ?!
I only just now learned that Samoa does a thing where she RATES us Bro-cats yearly and puts us in a list called "Dreamboats"
2009 Dreamboats #1-9 and 2009 Dreamboats #11-20

Imagine the outcry if a Bro-cat rated and ranked the girls? Can't you just see their girly "Thunking Paws" readied and hear their Indignant Girly Wailing?

"Waaaa Waaaa - Are we to be judged or 'ranked' according to superficial criteria?"
"Waaaa Waaaa - Are we to be objectified and categorized?"

Maybe it's time we Bros make a girly-ranking list of our own...
MuahahahA

10 of 3 and the girlies are swooning over me!

Hmmm

In my newest picture it's 10 minutes to 3 o'clock and my, oh my the girlies are *swooning* over me.

It seems they think I'm super handsome (I am !)

But girlies... Please, compose yourselves!

It's like I told Newman. Your Brothercats will aways have your back - but the girlies play *fickle*

I know ALL about you girlies and your strange ways...
Duets, butterflies, syrupy words of love - Your THUNKS... Your Hello Kitty things...
Any Bro-cat who gets *involved* with you - must have lost his mind.
I like keeping my mind, Thank You !

How to make an angel angry!

My Saving Angel has been seeing our neighbors let their dog out without a leash. They just open the door and the doggy runs out. The children usually run out after him and sometimes end up chasing him around the block.
We are flanked by 2 busy streets (even more busy this time of year with MusikFest)

Well last night the Mama went out with the doggy and sure enough he did what he always does - he ran. The Mama ran after him, caught him and carried him more than 200 feet by the scruff of his neck.

My angel took a deep breath and went running out our back door and up to that Mama. I jumped in the window so that I could listen.
I heard her tell that Mama "That the doggy's back legs need to be supported. That carrying him that far, in that manner is dangerous to him." I heard my angel tell that doggy Mama that even just letting him out without a leash was dangerous. My angel asked that Mama if she had a harness and leash for the doggy. The Mama said "No" and then my angel said "Wait" and came in and took *MY* harness and leash and took them out to the doggy Mama. I watched my angel put *MY* harness on that doggy and adjust it to fit him. Then she hooked up *MY* leash to the harness and handed the end to the doggy Mama.

This morning... I watched from the window as that doggy came out wearing *MY* things!
I said "Angel - when do my things come back to me?" and she said "Nük, To keep that doggy safe is the small price to pay. We will to replace your harness and leash if it means that we never have to hear the screech of brakes."

Pieces for Peace

Chester's brilliant idea of donating our sisfur cats parts to make the world a better place ... has inspired me!


There comes a time
When we heed a certain call
When the catworld must come together as one
There are cats dying
And it's time to lend a hand to life
The greatest gift of all

We can't go on
Pretending day by day
That somecat, somewhere will soon make a change
We are all a part of
God's great big family
And the truth, you know love & girlcat parts is all we need

[Chorus]
We are the boys!
Bro-cats and kittens
We are the ones who make a brighter day
So let's start giving (Give your sisfurs)
There's a choice we're making
We're saving boy cat lives
It's true we'll make a better day
Just you and me

Send them your sister's heart
So they'll know a boycat cares
And their lives will be stronger and free
As God has shown us by turning stone to bread
So we all must lend a sisfur's hand

[Chorus]
We are the boys!
Bro-cats and kittens
We are the ones who make a brighter day
So let's start giving (Give your sisfurs)
There's a choice we're making
We're saving boy cat lives
It's true we'll make a better day
Just you and me

When you're down and out
There seems no hope at all
But if you just believe
There's no way we can fall
Well, well, well, well, let us realize
That a change will only come
When we stand together as one

[Chorus]
We are the boys!
Bro-cats and kittens
We are the ones who make a brighter day
So let's start giving (Give your sisfurs)
There's a choice we're making
We're saving boy cat lives
It's true we'll make a better day
Just you and me

... As Chester has already said "To those who much is given, much is expected" I have 2 sisfurs, we would feel so good to be able to help you!
"Charity starts at home" - and it starts here NOW !

*P*'ed On & *P*'ed Off

Well...

I understand my angel had a heck of a discovery this morning when one of those bad doggies peed on their human's bed pillow. My angel found the pillowcase wet with a spreading stain and the tell-tale scent of doggy pee. Not one of those doggies would own up to it though. They're all old enough to know better and all are house broken. No doggy waited any longer to go outside than they did the day before. But there it was! A pillow of Evidence of doggy wrongdoing.
The good news is - the pillow and pillowcase washed and dried well and look and smell no worse for their use as a doggy bathroom.
But... my angel will have to tell the doggie's human what happened and then those dogs are going to be in trouble!

I had a temper tantrum of my own... I don't like being left alone from 7am until 7pm and then left alone again from 8:30 until after 9pm.
I went up on my angel's dresser and knocked some of her stuff down.
Just so she would see it when she got home and get my message that I don't like so much alone time.
This doggy sitting better end soon... I don't want to have to escalate my tactics
I broke her little snowman bowl change holder. Oh well... *Collateral Damage* of my wrath.

The CASA Space Mission is starting. A brave crew of experienced cats is off to "dance with the stars" and "go where no cat has gone before."
All in search of ancient cheese planets.
Where is there is cheeses - there is meices !

Well, I would never!

I was at my very first Catster wedding this weekend. It was mooney-looney, lovey-dovey stuff. Complete with butterflies... All that was missing was some theatrical duet style singing and it would have been a girl-cat affair extraordinaire!
(Seriously... You girl-cats are all so predictable)

Miss Winnie kept her thunky paw confined to herself (mostly) and only thunked her brother Chester once and me zero times!

I was terribly nervous... With it being my first wedding attendance and all.
Not to mention my idea of boycat - girlcat relations involves such *romantic ideas* as "Chase you until you hide" and "How about I sit on you until you cry for human intervention?"
In a word... awkward.

So... I may have made a faux pas or two ;)
But it was not made out of malice - just my awkwardness and I would never have *objected* to Biscuit and Teddy getting married!
(That would have been Chester's place... He's watched Miss Biscuity grow up and all.)
I'm only the *henchman* and a good henchman knows his place...

But between you and me? The flowers, the vows, the tender, tender looks... I may or may not have thrown up a little semi-digested Innova - but only in my own mouth!

ANOTHER Thing I would never do is... Leave my family alone in the day and evening for some stinky, yappy, slobbery dogs.

But what do I hear my saving angel is planning?!?!?
To go to the dog's house to sit with them Monday through Friday until their human comes back home for them!

I will only get time with my angel in the evening after the dogs are last out for the night and have gone to bed. Then early in the morning she will go back to them...

HOW is that fair?!? What is WRONG with dogs that they need such constant *sitting*
I say "Get these dogs a litter box and let them nap the day away!"

All I know is that this better not interfere with my Zoom Grooming sessions and I sure hope that my angel washes that dog slobber and stink off of her before coming home.

I need Attention! I need Adoration! and I have an upcoming CASA mission to go on!

A Long and Distinguished History!

First!
ConDOGulations and ConCATulations to Milo and Sawyer!
We love the Hero rainbow ribbon rosette! What a way to honor our furry four legged heroes. Any kitty or doggy who improves the lives of others is a hero in our eyes! The rainbow reminds us that such heroes come in many different sizes, different coat and eye colors.

We tried our hand at graphic design for this contest and quickly were frustrated so a HUGE Kudos to all who submitted designs and to ALL the Winners!

What a long and distinguished history the rainbow has had.
From being a sign to Noah, to being the background symbol in the German Peasants' War of the 16th century, to symbolizing Incan territory in Peru and Ecuador, the International Co-operative Congress of World Leaders also used it, in Italy it was first used to demonstrate for peace, and came to mean "peace from every balcony." The Jewish Autonomous Oblast, situated in the Far Eastern Federal District of Russia (by the Chinese border) uses it also - as well as more *contemporary* groups.

The rainbow has always been part of Catster. We all have someone who waits for us at the Rainbow Bridge.
And now to Catster this rosette ribbon symbolizes our dog and Cat heroes!

...sequestered at an undisclosed location

Dear Friends,

This has been a dangerous week. Due to serious threats to my safety I can not make speeches or be seen in public. I remain sequestered at an undisclosed location. I've been receiving regular briefings and participating in the Cational Security Council meetings with my Saving Angel, via secure communications.
It was in this manner that I heard that I was Cat of the Day today.
After a thorough reconnaissance of the surrounding area it was pronounced 'safe enough' for me to come and leave this message!

Thank YOU Catster. Thank You dear friends for your kind gifts, words and most of all - Sharing in the joy of this day with me.

I am honored more than words than say.

Compromise

Miss Winnie and I have come to an understanding...

I will eat bunnies - but NOT her bunnies
I can't get to them anyway - so she's lucky or they're lucky
Someone's lucky
=))))

Oh and I was NOT hiding from the firecrackers like Gabby said I was...
I was checking the stash of toys under the bed and guarding them!

Yep!

Oh, I Wish I Were A... Wienerwurst

To demonstrate my good humor and magnanimous spirit....
I wear my Wiener hat with pride!
Enough cat-nip ales and I probably would even sing

Oh I wish I were a patriotic wiener
That is what I truly wanna be
For if I were a patriotic wiener
Everyone would be in love with me-ee-eee!

But Winnie?
This one I would dedicate just to you

My snacky has a first name,
It's B-A-B-Y
My snacky has a second name,
It's B-U-N-N-Y
Oh, I'd love to eat them every day,
And if you ask me why....I'd.....saaaaaay:
'Cuz Baby Bunny has a way
To cure your hunger right away
NoM !!!

My Buddies Seem To Think...

My buddies Chester
and Pooh
have set themselves up in Winnie's Diary
with some popcorn and nip-ale. Awaiting some *Fireworks* that have nothing to do with the 4th of July...

You guys think I'm in for an EPIC style whooping?
Think this is all gonna end in an epic sized Nuk-Whine, with me hiding under the bed - licking my wounded pride?!

This whole "get huffy, thunk someone, giggle, thunk them again, giggle some more, THUNK them yet again and then walk away" bit just reinforces the whole "Girl-cats are CRAZY" stereotype.
They get away with it - Simply because *we* let them.
Well NO MORE! - The Drama STOPS Here !!!

Besides ya'll I've got some *Man-Points* to get back after the whole "Fruity McSatin Ribbons" debacle, my hiding from the Catster Delivery Mommies - for their entire time here, and my nauseating, ill advised Gabby crush...

What's a guy to do to get back on the assertive? Go after the BIGGEST target he can.

Yeah, YOU heard me Winnie. I'm talking to YOU. Now waddle along like a good girl. I'm still hungry and there's Bunny Snacks that you're procrastinating to prepare for me! Make it snappy!
You don't want me on your back - biting at your scruff. (Ask Taag - I will do it)

What Pains My Bro - Also Pains Me!

My Buddy Chester
... is a little upset. That upsets *ME*

We took to the "Man-Cave" for some nip-ale and to sort some things out. Chester didn't listen to my advice though and turned on the radio again. What was playing, was this song.

"Run your car off the side of the road
Get stuck in a ditch way out in the middle of nowhere
Or get yourself in a bind,
Lose the shirt off your back,
Need a floor, need a couch, need a bus fare…

This is where the rubber meets the road
This is where the cream is gonna rise
This is what you really didn't know
This is where the truth don’t lie

Find out who your friends are
Somebody’s gonna drop everything
Run out and crank up their car
Hit the gas, get there fast
Never stop to think “what’s in it for me?”
Or “it’s way too far”
They just show on up
With their big ol’ heart
Yeah find out who your friends are. "

Ain't that the truth? I KNOW IT!
It's Chester who's got my back and whose back I watch out for. I mean, who but your best bro steps to your side when the world gets you down. When the spinning of the world becomes a little sea-sicky for you - Who but your best bro is gonna point your barfy mouth in the direction of the nearest girl-cat's fur.

We did come up with some funny ideas though - and a potential Secret Weapon (So secret, that I am not even able to *allude* to its devastating effects. What I can say, is that NO CAT ever wants to be the recipient of this weapon's *force*)

Oh and for Winnie
WHO thinks *I'm rude...
I've got a whole menu planned for your baby bunnies.

Bunny Kabobs, Bunny Burritos, Bunny in a blanket, Bunny Lettuce and Tomato sandwich, Bunny Tar-Tar, Bunny Pate.

To drink? BunnyTini, Bunnarita, Bunny Brew

For Dessert? Creme Bunnee'

I'm hungry and your *insolence* is unappreciated. Now if you would so kindly waddle your chunk-a-bunk self out and get started on the BunnyFeast. Chester and I promise to eat our bunnies with our pinky fingers extended. How's that for class?

Open Tag (Not the html kind)

1. What color is your collar? – My fur. I'm a neck nudist. I do wear a harness on special occasions (read: going to the vet)

2. What kind of food do you eat? – Innova Evo dry and wet.

3. What are your favorite treats? – The fruity treats from the Catster Delivery Mommies

4. Do you have a Valentine or significant other? – No! Once upon a time, I thought I might want one... But I have since come to my senses. It's strictly Bromance for me, man.

5. Do you get Table Scraps? – Ew! NO! My humans are vegan. First of all, I think everything they cook has onion and/or garlic in it. Second, I'm not down with Tofu, Tempeh, or Seitan.

6. What is your favorite toy? – Any toy that Sweets or Gabby are playing with first.

7. When is your Birthday? – No one knows and I'm not telling. Although I do celebrate the day I found my Saving Angel and the un-neutered one - 11 November 2006

8. How many times a day do you get to eat? - As many as I want. I'm *free-fed* and as you can see, I'm NOT fat. (Although, does my butt look big in my profile picture?)

9. Do you have a favorite color? – This is hard to confess but I seem to like pink. If there is a pink *something* I will lay on it.

10. Do you hope all your pals put this in their diary? - Only if they want to. Free Will!

Cheating On Me!

My Saving Angel will be away for a good part of tomorrow.
CHEATING ON ME!

She has to go and "dog-sit" 4 doggies. Ewww doggies!
She's going to come back all dog-stinky. (It's ok dogs, you know you smell !!!)

They will torture her with slobbery kisses and bark and beg her to throw their spitty toy balls so that they can mindlessly run after them and bring them back for more.

They will lose their minds when she reaches for their harnesses or says the word "walk

They will go to the bathroom in the yard and make her clean up after them

What big babies they are....
Dogs? Have you no dignity?
We cats have style, character, and pizzazz - Dogs you have spit, more spit and something that rhymes with spit!

Diary Girl - Is Ill...

She must be!

My buddy Chester and I were talking yesterday and inbetween gagging and "ewwwing"
I came to the conclusion that ever since we asked Diary Girl to be our *Agent* she has been playing mean spirited, insane girl-cat mind games with me.

She made Sweets The Diary of the Day?!!!
She yesterday made the gag-worthy Gabby a DDP?!!!

You see that singing and loony moony behavior of Gabby's?
Blecccccch

As Chester said "Did you read Gabby's diary, omg how gross, butterflies and kisses.....ewwwwwwwwwwwww.

... I've come to the conclusion that that singing? It's a mental illness.
Yep, girl-cats have it and they infect boy-cats with it.

I plan to stay far away, since it seems contagious!

Last night it was noticed that Diary Girl was eating diary comments !
The comments seem to all be back this morning. I'm glad someone made her barf them back up!

It Hasn't Gone To My Head!

I'm a quarter millionaire! The honorable Wilson J Scooter has bought up some of my butt prints! (Each for $50,000)

BUTT PRINTS

But he says that "Starbutts" is his favorite!
Whoo-hoo I'm an artist!

Gabby went on her First date to see The Lion King at a drive in.

I will spare you all the mushy-mush....
Let's just say that romance is really hilarious and ridiculous when you're not the one involved.
Blechhhhh remind to never seriously fall in love - It's accompanied by insanity and completely too much singing!
DRIVE IN Pictures

To my buddy Chester
Let me say: Bromance is so much better than Romance - It's the *B* that makes it better and...
Dude! You can be so glad you weren't in that trunk.

That's right! Wilson and I tagged along in the trunk. So we could spy I mean supervise my little sister and Wilson's Morty Angel Kitty little brother on their date. Much quick thinking was needed (several times) to pull that fiasco off and of course nothing ever goes as planned....

But my new found wealth hasn't gone to my head. I'm already thinking "What can I do for my friends?"
I was thinking we could all gather for an ocean cruise, but if anycat has any other ideas. I'm open to suggestions!

Who knew?

What you kitties would consider *Art*

*Sigh* I guess I'm going to get my butt painted sometime. (That's what I get for joking around...)

Hmmm
I took Gabby to the Phillies vs Yankees game and she got away from me there. She said that she "just had to use the little girl's litterbox room"
When she got back though, she was all giggly and giddy...

Then on the very next day she was off to her
Uncle Toulouse's ranch to have a sleepover party.

I don't know exactly what went on there... But when Gabby returned home she was again all giddy and giggly.
She can't stop smiling (NOT even in her sleep) and I saw her last night looking out the window up at the stars and sighing.
I think I even heard her say "You mean the world to me too MAK"

*Sigh*
I've been doing a lot of thinking...
And I've come to the conclusion that if Gabby feels this
Morty Angel Kitty (MAK) character is worthy of all this sighing and loony moony behavior then he must be an ok fella.
He certainly comes from a VERY GOOD family!

*Sigh*
I want to see Gabby happy and she certainly appears to be on 'Cloud 9"
As her protective brofur I will consent to give my blessing upon this blossoming connection. Although, IF Gabby ever comes to me crying that this MAK has broken her heart let it be known that the kitty fur will then be flying
(I love her dearly too you know!)

Any kit who dares to ever mess with her will have the full furry fury of *ME* on their back.

Intercepted Communique

Winnie & Chester have intercepted a Mommy Mail! Pooh's mommy plans to go missing!!!
*She*nanigans again!

(I don't know how Pooh and the Carolina Crew
are going to hold her down... They didn't have success in corralling Smokey and Punky's Mommy!)

Aldo Chapter2! has a diagnosis!

Gabby and I wanted to add some special *things* to his auction.

First is a GENUINE petrified Nuk hairball. That's right folks, pawcrafted by my own self. It's been in careful hiding since it was *born* but for 1 lucky bidder I will tell my humans where it is, so that they can ship it to your house!
Truly exciting! One of a kind! Don't miss out on this unique opportunity.

Next up we have a Commemorative Hair Zombie!
Groomings from each of the 3 of us combined into one Hair Zombie. Edison has one as the second picture on his page.
That's just to give you an idea of what you'll be bidding on. Ours is much better. Our Hair Zombie comes full of Gabby hair. That's right. Have you ever wished you could stroke the super soft beauty that is Gabby's fur? Well with our hair zombie - YOU CAN!

Our last item will be a multiple item listing.
For every interested bidder I will make 1 personalized butt print.
(In the color(s) of your choosing)
Using non-toxic paints I will paint my butt furs and sit on a 140.lb watercolor paper to make a ONE OF A KIND butt print for you.
Imagine what a striking conversation piece this would make. You'll never be at a loss for words with guests again. Timeless art to match any decor.

It's too bad that Aldo's auction isn't accepting new items.
I really think our items are something else ;)
(Aldo's auction ends at midnight EDT May 25, 2009.)
Cats Helping Cats!
But there is still time to get some of the pawesome REAL items that are there.
Sneak in and be a *stealthy* last minute bidder!

Catsters Coming Together

My Sweet Gabby's Cousin Aldo: Chapter 2!'s family needs our help!!!

May 20th marks the 1 year anniversary of his and Doggy Noelle 's dramatic and heartwarming rescue and rehoming.
Aldo's mommy became my Auntie when she was one of the ladies who came to deliver Gabby to *me.* She was the reason the Catster Delivery Mommies were on the move that weekend!

Cousin Aldo has been been sick

Nothing that the vet has tried so far has worked. To make matters worse his mommy recently lost her job (now she's job-hunting) but her resources are stretched as tight as they could possibly be and Aldo still doesn't have a diagnosis and he needs more tests and veterinary care.

IF you would like to help (any help is appreciated.)
Go check out and join this Group Q4Aldo
Hazel Lucy is there to explain What is needed and What food and litter Aldo uses

If you want to help with the vet bills directly Hazel Lucy can get you the vet's information!

There is even an online auction Cats Helping Cats! that you can get involved in either bidding or selling.
There are some fabulous super-cool things there!!!

You can donate just about anything - cat related items, non-cat related items.

Together we can make Aldo's first anniversary of his rescue another
Catsters Coming Together memory!

Now who wants to take me across the pond on holiday?
For a THREE NIGHT STAY AT LAKELAND LODGE at Whitecross Bay in the beautiful English Lake District/UK

P.S. - I'm NOT included in the actual item.

Of Mommies and *Missing* and *Un-missing* - A.k.a LOVE

Tomorrow is something called 'Mother's Day' and while I don't exactly remember much about the queen who birthed me, I do have a Saving Angel who is all mine!

INSERT HERE Mushy stuff, mushy stuff & more mushy stuff...
I love her and she loves me - and you've heard it all before.

One mommy today was *missing* (but not in the way that the trip through Cuckoo-Ville mommies were missing)
My dear friends The family of Sally ♥ Sweet Angel, Lucy and Sophie are missing Sally ♥ Sweet Angel today. It has been 1 full year since they had to say goodbye too soon and too suddenly. I don't like to see sad hearts, especially dear friends. Dear Auntie and Cousins Lucy & Sophie if I could bear on my broad shoulders some of your heartache, I would. If I could wrap my paws around you in a Nuk-Bear hug, I would. If I could kiss away your tears, I would! - I Love You!

One mommy last night came *Un-missing* My COOL buddy Chester had the mushy return of his "Milk Carton Mommy!"
INSERT HERE much kissleing and fussleing!
Smokey & Punky's mom had been home for almost a week already.

Chester's mom was the last of the *Cuckoos* to come home to her nest!
It would seem that if you can get the Super Outta Control Mommies separated from each other, that their *Cuckoo-power* subsides proportionately for each one that is separated from the *flock*

Chester dude, I have suspicions that your mommy is the Cuckoo Grand-Mistress!
1.) She was the last to return home
2.) Her cuckoo-power lasted far longer than the other SOCM's
3.) She is often 'on the wing'
4.) What does she do upon her return home? Make YOU & Winnie "go flying"

I wouldn't be surprised if the Dino Birds are *agents* of hers.
Stay Alert Bro
Stay. Alert.
!!!!!

Have You Seen?

OMC!

I really should not be laughing so hard, but I've been rolling around on the floor for quite awhile now.
Chester your "Missing Mommy Milk Carton Campaign" - is both brilliant and hilarious!

P.S. Dude...
I think it's supposed to your mommy's picture on the Milk Carton and not yours
=)))

Whose bus is the shortest one now?

Super Outta Control Mommies

Dear Furriends

Things are much much worse than originally thought...

The S.A.M.'s (Self Abducting Mommies) have now been upgraded to S.O.C.M.'s (Super Outta Control Mommies)

Aldo, you better keep a close watch on your mommy!
Good thing you're home and can sit on her all night, in the guise of *cuddling* of course.
IF the SOCM's are stuck in some *travel loop* they'll be coming your way next!

Last we knew, the Original Traveling Mommies -" The Gabby Bringers"
Were planning to abduct themselves to South Africa.

But somehow yet again PLANS CHANGED! (Oh don't even *feign* surprise here) - These are the same mommies who proved 2 weeks ago that they make plans on top of plans, on top of plans, on top of plans - well you get the idea!!!

These are Super Outta Control Mommies. They don't just abandon Plan A for Plan B - Nooooo they are trying to exhaust a whole alphabet of plans...
Chester's Diary and
Pooh's Diary
Show that the SOCM's are in North Carolina now?
Since when is NC on the way to South Africa?!?!
LOOK OUT Pooh - It's not Dusty they plan on abducting - I fear it's your mommy!!!!

These SOCM's are armed with treaties, tender words & petties.
Be Alert!

There's no telling what these SOCM's might do next. Proceed with extreme caution!
They are UNSTABLE elements!!!!

You can not train these SOCM's
You can not cage these SOCM's
I doubt any human could restrain them long enough to microchip them.
They would probably tear off any harness, leash or Together tag that we could put on them....

What to do? What to do!?

I think maybe Pooh's idea of Boot Camp is the along the right track.
But something more harsh...
Mommy "Reeducation" Camp - something like a Mommy Rehab

To work out of them this wanderlust - and reacquaint them with the ways that Loving Mommy Model Citizens behave.

That or we need a wizard?!?!?
I don't know, I don't know what to do.
Are the SOCM's stuck in some endless travel loop?

Oh Gabby Dear? What did you do to them? Everyone who comes in contact with you seems to lose their mind(s).
It's your mind-bending cuteness isn't it - my little furry darling.

Aaaaaaaa
Pray for us - that we all are not losted like Punky & Smokey's mommy's tagged luggage!

It just gets worse & worse!
Pooh's brofur Edison's diary

Look at picture 2 there! - It's horrible!!!
A Zoom-Groom Hair-Zombie!
A FrankenHair
All the SOCM's need now is some lightning and I bet that thing gets up and starts purring

I don't know what to say...
/covers mouth with forepaw

*She*nanigans - AGAIN!

No, dear cats... This time, I don't mean Drama Queen Sweets or my darling sweet Gabby.

It's something far, far worse.
S.A.M's - Self Abducting Mommies.

Early tonight I received a fearful communication from
Winnie & Chester

You can read on their diary how their mommy Self Abducted herself along with Smokey & Punky's mommy

Winnie & Chester wrote to warn me that The mommies are out there floating around free and they have mentioned telling MY angel to come join them.

We still need my Angel here! Gabby still cries sometimes in the dark of night and as much as I want to be her comforter and protector, it's my Angel that she walks crying and mewing up to for petting and comforting.

I don't know what to do? How can I prevent my Angel from Self Abducting?

Should I put the hamster lid weights on her to weigh her down?
Should I bury her in the litter box?
Should I let the Machine Whose Name Shall NOT Be Spoken eat her?
What if I can get Gabby, Sweets and myself to sit on her - Do you think she won't fly away then?
Should I hide her under the sofa blanket?
Should I lock her up in the pink cat carrier?
Can I put her in the refrigerator?

What should I do?

Girl-cats have done it AGAIN!!!

How do they manage to always do this to me?

It's a conspiracy - I'm tellin' you!
I can't have anything... without a girl-cat walking in and stealing my thunder.

Awww though, Gabby I am so proud of you! You are the first cat in our family to ever be Cat of the Week
You certainly deserve it.

Sweets...
*Sigh* As much it pains me to say it - I'm really proud of you too!
You are the first cat in our family to be THE Diary of the Day Pick.

But?!?!
Is it coincidence that you both are girls and get these honors.
I think not...
I think Diary Girl and Mr. Ted have just told Chester and me a BIG LOUD NO to our hopes of having Diary Girl for our *agent* - and stomp-danced all over our hopes of ever renegotiating our contracts.

Ah well Chester has some problems of his own. It seems he and Winnie have managed to losted a mommy!

:0

There's nowhere a cat can hide from that!

Dear Chester

No... It's not that kind of Dear Chester letter.
I don't want to break our bromance
A guy can have his besty guy friend and a girly too, can't he?

I'm glad you were big and brave for Punky's mommy and let her pet you before you went under the bed!
You are a bigger *man* than me - my friend.

Guess what? It was near 90F here today! The tops of the double hung windows were open and everything. I got to sit on the window sill and watch people and smell the breeze full of all sorts of budding smells.
It was awesome... at least until the guy with the weed whacker showed up and started to work on the doctor's property across from us.
OMC - I hate weed whackers. I always have and I guess I always will.
They are just one of the many things that made outdoor living terrible for me.

And now it's time for: Yes, you guessed it.
It's impossible for me to hold a conversation that doesn't include some Gabby'ing

We continue to have our nose-to-nose talks and today she joined me on the bed and touched my foot!
*Sigh*
Dude!!! She sat closer to me than any girl-cat has since Taag comforted me last year when I came home from the hospital - (although, after I was recuperated Taag went right back to her disappointingly dramatic ways.)

With Gabby there is no drama... just sweetness.
(Have you thrown up a little of your kibbles yet, from reading my soppy words?)

I'll stop now before I cause any further gastro-intestinal distress.

Your Bromantic Bro
Nuk

Is it *MY* turn?!

You're kidding me - I can have a chance to use the computer?
Alrighty then...

My buddy friend Vincent in a rosette he gave me, proposed a trade
Since his house is all boys except for Madeline. A trade of Madeline for me would make an all boy house for Vincent's meowmy and an all girl home for my angel.

Then my extremely handsome and recent DDP friend Chester wrote me to say "I figured out where we went wrong."
He had to put up with his sisfur Winnie going on and on about how she should be living with Gabby and not me
That caused Chester to understand that *THAT* is where we went wrong. Winnie should have come to live with Gabby and I should have went to Chester's !!!

I mentioned this to my Angel... and it didn't go over so well.
I was told that I have a "NO TRADE CLAUSE" in my contract.
I was also told not to hold out hope of being a "Free Agent"
either.

When I mentioned this to Chester he thought that if we had a really good agent - we could renegotiate the terms of our contracts (and maybe even sign new ones!)

But alas, we have no agents....
Then I thought about this and said "What about Catster's diary picking girl for our agent?"
Chester thought that was a fine idea especially as she has already demonstrated that she obviously knows our value!!!!

Diary Girl will you be our agent?
Chester and Nuk turn on their charm and give their best sweetie face kitty look

Laugh Away Guys...

My extremely handsome bromantic bro Chester has been honored as a DDP!

Way to pick them Catster. Some *sour-grapes* girl-cats believe that Diary Picker must be now be a boy-cat. But I think it must still be a girl. Just one with exceptional taste!
She picked both Chester and I in the same month!

Hmm guys - I know you tease me about Gabby but...
We had another *moment* where we stood nose to nose sniffing and talking and then I went up on the bed to claim my space next to the body pillow and she went back in the living room.
I tried to warn her about that Smacky Tomato - I told Gabby "That one is named Sweets but... she is fast with the smacky paw." Gabby said back "that other than a few *cold* looks Sweets hasn't been mean to her."

I never believed in 'love at first sight' and I know that Catster is not "Cat-Match.com" - and yes, yes, yes, I know Gabby is my sis-fur (and that makes things kind of complicated)
But even her walk is hypnotising - Gaaaaaaaaaaaa

*Shakes head*
hummina hummina hummina
What was I saying?!?

Ok Pooh
I understand your point(s) and you sure got some pointy ones! (M.o.L.)
But what I've got is *infatuation* - Like a crush
I'm pretty sure too, that once Gabby is here awhile and the Pennsylvania gets in her. She's gonna crush me. She will just do the sis-fur stomp-dance all over that heart of mine that I've been wearing on my fore-paw.

Then no amount of flowery bubble baths or facials will cure my broken heart. My wailing from the "man-cave" will be heard for hundreds of miles....

Gee, Thanks!

Hey!
Thanks guys...

Chester
I'm not even going to ask "Where you got that pink boa and pink Hello Kitty purse from?" or inquire as to how you know so much about facials and pawicures?!

Don't even try to blame that on Winnie... I suspect that she is more of a Coach bag and scarf girl or even Herve Leger's Spring 2009 Multifaceted Oval Clutch type of girl.

It's a sad day when Winnie is the one consoling me and offering to dish the dirt on your boofy butt, when Punky's mommy comes to stay with you.

Pooh!
Of all my buddies, I expected a little more understanding from you!
Have you seen Gabby?!? She is G-to the O to the R to the G-E-O-U-S!
Tell me? how is my infatuation with her any different from your special relationship with Sunny?!?

For cats sake man! You two even have a page together - "Pooh and Sunny"
There's photographic evidence of it, my man.

Damage Control

For some cats "Deny, deny, deny" is their damage control philosophy.

Me? I figure, when you're caught "with your pants down" - You may as well just say "Well, why yes, I have my pants down"
Or, in my specific case. When you are caught hiding under the bed for an hour, you may as well just say. "Well, why yes, I'm hiding under the bed."

It's true...
*sigh*
I did hide from Gabby's Aunties. (*My* friends mommies)
I was enticed out with catnip, but it was just a dirty trick to try and make me socialise.

You probably will also hear... (And I think it's better to hear it from me, than from a Gossip Girl-cat) ... that not only was I under the bed, but I was under the bed with Gabby.

Ohhhhh the scandalous horror!!!

It's not what it looks like!
We're just friends!
It wasn't me

...Oh but it was

*sigh*

Although, I must say. Chessie, Pooh and Aldo2! Your mommies give good pressie!

Good Grief!

You would think that April Fooling me, and *Princessing My Profile* would be enough...

But Nooooooooo

You would think that giving me the honor of being a Diary of the Day Pick and then making me that very same day *work* the Catster Community on the behalf of my family would be enough....

But Nooooooooo

I was kind of just *playing it cool* going along with things, being a *good sport* and hoping that all this talk about a "New Sister" is just someone's idea of another *joke*

Especially when that Punky
sent me a pawmail with a link to an article about
"How Sisters Are Good For Your Mental Health"

Bla Bla Bla... Yeah, Punky Yeah, Whatever... Blind me some more with science. That article was written about twofers. Please notice that NO CATS were studied.

I stayed cool through it all.
But then, *nesting* behaviour started here and I started to get warm around my ears. I've seen this behaviour before - When that Sweets came!

Could it be? It's NO joke?...
Could it be that my angel (whom I seem to have lost ALL control over) is really bringing another girl-cat into *MY* home?!

Then I heard a very strange thing. I heard what sounded like My buddy Chester's mom on our phone! (At least that's how *She* identified herself.)
And Pooh?!?
It sounds like your mommy is in on this too?!

You guyssssss....
What happened to our *Studly Solidarity?*
I only heard my angel's side of the conversation(s) [Yes - there's been more than 1]
But what I heard sounded ominous... It sounded like I will soon be swimming in a sea of *estrogen*

Oh man... I can almost hear Winnie and Taag cackling away in that annoying girl-cat way they have.

It seems I really am getting a sister.
HALP!!!

Wowza, Meowza - She's like lightning!

Lucy sent me a rose rosette. I came and checked to see what it could say. To my surprise it was a "Congratulatory" rosette. Miss Lucy was the first to tell me that I'm a Diary Pick of the Day!!!

Yes cats! She *scooped* even Catster on this one.
Her rosette came before the Catster *Official Notification Letter* came.

She's been having some trouble with The Machine Whose Name Shall Not Be Spoken I think that *beast* better watch its back around her. Miss Lucy - She's like lightning!

The family of ♥ Sausage ♥ and ♥ Meatball ♥

Hey Sausage and Meatball - Thanks guys! How cool is that?! You caught me one of those Spring bunnies.
BEWARE you know! I read that they steal identities!
I won't let them get mine. Don't let them get yours!

The family of Oliver and Dewey
Thanks for my Easter egg! Did you guys color that yourselves?
You hoped I was having fun celebrating - I will tell you soon, exactly how I got to *celebrate* my DDP pick

Chester
What a handsome cupcake from my handsomest pal!
Nom!

Thank you to anyone who noticed that I was DDP.
This was my third time being picked! Take *that* Drama Queens! - And I got a catnip party!!!
This time, I did get my Angel to screen capture my diary in the list for the day and she made a keepsake picture of it for me right away!!!

...That's kind of where it being 'Focus On Nuk-day' ended though.
As it always seems to happen, just when I'm basking in the glow of kitty superiority along comes a *girl-cat* to take away that spotlight!

I'm the family *spokes-cat* and so I spent most of my yesterday corresponding with various Catsters and posting that we need help in the Catster Railroad section of the forums
and in the Let's Help Teal'C and his Tennessee Crew Group

- because it's my family who are adopting Catmander Teal'C's Gabby

I know, I know, I know! - My people - they're crazy (but I already told you that!)
... Aaaa another girl!
But to tell the truth? I liked when we were three cats here, (It really hasn't been the same with just me and Sweets) and yes Gabby is adorable!!!
Plus, I hear she is sweet, and won't challenge my authority!

I win !

Dear Drama Queens that I live with, used to live with or never lived with.

*Ahem* Sweets, Taag, Winnie *Ahem*

Now what do you think?
... My studly striped fur, my hypnotic, intimidating stare. What can you say?
N-o-t-h-i-n-g
Just know, that I am WATCHING you!

Take 10 deep breaths and imagine all your tension slowly sliding down your paws through to the floor beneath you.
But you are starting to feel sleepy now, yes? Growing soooo sleepy, your eyes so heavy, your body so relaxed.
Now you are getting the urge, to walk slowly into the bathroom and jump in the toilet for a swim.
That's a good girl!

MuahahahahA

I have overlooked a "Drama Queen" from my list:
Punky
It would seem you're feeling "left out." Why else would you be harassing the extremely handsome (and my look-a-like)
Chester ?!

Don't worry dear Punky, you can feel included. Feel free to take a *swim* with the other girls (Drama Queens)

Apparently I'm a Princess and an April Fool!

Shenanigans! Someone's been up to it!

Oh, my Saving Angel, how could you...

I have noticed that the very word *shenanigans* starts with the word *she* and that is where I believe this idea was born and carried out.

Some girly cat(s) must have corrupted my angel to 'Princess' my profile pic.

Taag? I can't get at you, but I would if I could. Don't think I don't know that you called me "Fruity McSatinRibbons" and made fun of my page background grapes and ribbons...

Smacky? If you had anything to do with this - YOU will pay.

Any other cat(s) who had a paw in 'the princessing of my profile' -
rest assusred that I WILL find out about you.

...And then you better hope that I don't have any 'princess wand' because I just might turn you into a toad, while drinking my tea with my pinky up and lounging about in my pink frilly princess pants.

:O

Hmmmm
Winnie

YOU are under suspicion for "Conspiracy"

What's this Diamond Rosette you sent Taag saying "NICE WORK!!!!!!!!"
???

Spiffy!

If you were to ask me how I am I would have to answer - Simply Spifficous...

I won't lie, it has been a strange month here. I've got myself some crazy people.
After Taag died they buried her. (Ok, that's normal) but then they dug her up and took her to the vet! (That's NOT normal)

I said "People?!?! Are you crazy in your grief? The vet can not help Taag now!" and they said "We need to take her for some tests. We need to know that you and Sweets are safe and not in any danger."
Then later they all came home and Taag went back in the ground.

I heard my people talking about Taag and from what I overheard there was some talk of a secondary epilepsy. (because Taag had not ever had anything like this before) Then there was some brain scanning of Taag (I guess they found one!) Her brain was not enlarged or showing tumors - but there was "brain damage" (Hmm, tell me something I didn't already suspect) from restricted blood flow to Taag's brain. There was also showing on this scan an area where Taag had bled onto her brain.
Alot of big words like acute cerebral ischemia, and something about similarity to a human "stroke"

ALL I wanted to know was do *I* have to go back to the vet?
Yes, it seems that my crazy people wanted both Sweets and me to have blood taken from us and tested against some biochemical profile. I was not happy about that. But my people said "It would be a good idea to have a *baseline* test profile for me, taken when I'm healthy." (The last one I had was at the end of April/early May 2008 when I was in the hospital) Sweets has never had one.
So off we went for that. Fun fun fun!
But Sweets and I both have GOOD VALUES!

All the while that this Taag and vet business was going on. I had found and caught an Elusive Brussel Fish! Yes, and I had flung it through the air in the hopes that it would land with my buddy Chester
And?! OMC !!!- it did! You know what though? That Taag in her typical dramatic style, had caused everyone here (including me) to forget all about my magnificent EBF catch and fling. - Until it landed.
I hear EBF tastes like chicken - who knew?

Then I got a new page layout. I like it, how spiffy! I felt like MFC [Most Favored Cat] of the house
(But nooooo, Sweets got one too)

Then I got some new pictures and a new video
(But again, Sweets got that also)
- Are you sensing a pattern here? How am I supposed to demonstrate my superiority if everytime I get something, I have to share the spotlight?

Sunshine, You're a GOOD Girl.

Sunshine is home!!!

Let my buddy Pooh Bear tell you the good news on his *diary* =)) I'm off to go do a happy dance.

Sunshine, You MUST Go Home

I was going to let Taag write this, but the idea of Taag telling anyone to "Go home" is a little weird. Especially *where* Taag is calling *home* these days....
But let's hope she's making herself useful and shining a light down, making Sunny's path to home clearly lit.

Sunshine
- The bestest friend of my buddy Pooh Bear has got the idea in her pretty head to take an *Adventure*

Poor Pooh is frantic. Won't you please purr with us that Sunny quickly returns home!

PurrrRRrrrr PuRRrrrrR PurrrrRRR

Pixel Dogs, Picture Princesses, Re-Purposings, Cauliflower- Sheep and a Sighting!!

*Sigh*

What a shameful entry I have here to write... Perhaps I should rename my diary to "Catster Confessional" - since every now and then I come here hanging my head and unburdening myself with some "confession."

I seem to have lost precious internet time a few months ago, because I couldn't make a human get online long enough for me to write an entry.
"And why and where were your people, Nuk?" You might ask
To which I would have had to shamefully reply "Playing with the Xbox360 and some game where they run around that world with a pixelated dog!"
Shameful, I know...

Maybe I should've enlisted Taag's help to work the computer myself and resorted to Chesters Classic Tactic - The short *Classified* ad.
- but I have pride, I can't very well go to Taag to ask her help. Besides, I'm mad at her and that litte Smacky Tomato too! What little *Princesses* they are.

Now this is just whining, but! Recently, they are always getting their pictures taken. When I complain about the injustice of it, I get brushed off with the explanation "You, Nuk have the most pictures of anyone and anyway you recently had a whole slew of photos taken of just you."
You know what my answer to that is: "There can NEVER be enough - get clicking that camera!!!"

Onto Re-purposing,
We went to the vet recently and I told about that in another post, but what I didn't know was what lunacy would follow after that.
We got our shots and shiny new rabies tags and my old one (the 2008 red heart shaped one) went where?
On my Angel's own necklace. "Why" you may ask? - I don't know I guess she wants the world to know that she has had her Rabies shot at least once in her life?!? (although out of date now)
That's not much of a comfort to anyone she may bite if you ask me.

And finally, I was sitting with my angel when someone sent her a picture of a grouping of animals figurines all shaped to look like they were fashioned from vegetables or fruits. My Angel saw in that picture a "Cauliflower Sheep" - and I thought to myself "Oh here we go, just what we need around here." (We manage to accumulate sheep - I don't know how or why?)
There was even a Watermelon Cat!

My Angel found a whole page of these vegetable animals and together we were looking at them. I wasn't *really* paying attention until I saw pictured there The Highly Elusive BrusselFish!
And I thought of my buddy Chester right away!

I've not had any luck catching a BrusselFish (Sorry Chessie!)
But I can do something maybe almost as nice ;) ;)

An Early Valentine!

My Angel,

I want you to know that I will always think that I picked the most perfect family for myself. Everyday I am thankful for what I have.

I could never look at you with anything except love. I know that you love me and already have done more for me than anyone else ever has in my life. For that, I will always be grateful and love you back the best that I can.

When I lay my head in your hand, purr against you and look at you with all the love in my eyes that one being can hold for another, I am trying to tell you just how much I love you, that I know and understand these things and that you will always be my saving angel.

You forever bettered and changed my life that November night and I am forever yours.

Nük / Anük

It's True...

Sweets {Who I have nick-named *Smacky Tomato* because of her orangey patches and her quickness and willingness to smack me with her paws} will tell anyone who listens that "I'm a *big* baby"
...and although I wish I could claim it's not true - it is.

When I picked my home that meant I wanted to come in from the cold - NOT go out again in it.
I saw the girls go in their carriers and I knew when I saw my harness and leash that we weren't simply going for a walk through the house.

There was no comfort in being scooped up into the arms of my angel and cuddled tightly against her. I knew we were going to the VET! and I hoped that I would be coming home again the same night.
[I still remember {with shivers} the last time that I was there]

Yes it's true, my body shook with fear and dread, although I was stoically quiet for the car ride. [While the Taag and Sweets cried like a whiny chorus from the backseat]
I put my paws over my angel's arm and held tightly onto her. I pleaded with my eyes - "I'm not sick, please don't take me away from you."

She held me tightly, caressed me and spoke reassuringly to me. The big dogs made me nervous, but I know when my angel says "I would never let anyone hurt you" - She means it.

Several people said how cute I was and one vet tech [Whom I've never seen before] even commented on how "I'm so big - and just not big but long! And those feet!"
You would think that my feet are the most remarkable thing about me.

The good news is the little heart murmur that they heard while I was sick is nowhere to be heard now. My weight remains good at 14 pounds and we have no worms.

The BEST part though was when we got home, back inside our familiar house we got treats and lots of love and reassurances that we wouldn't have to go out for another year!

Another Year

Again! It's my *King* day
(Of course, I'm always the king, but there comes one special day each year that's like a birthday but not.)
I'm a birthday-less cat. I must have had a birthday - here I am.
But I either don't remember it, or no-one ever told me when it is.
Instead I remember and celebrate the day I gave up my *outdoor* life to live indoors.

How fast time passes... Where the food is always findable, where the drinkable water never freezes, where there is shelter from the elements and a warm soft place to sleep.
Where every human is a kind one, where wishes for play, treats and petting simply need to be asked for and they're granted.

It sounds *ideal* and it is. Had I known the indoor life would be so *posh* I might have begged for a *home* sooner. Although I guess it takes a cat to find 'just the right human(s)' to make such a life.
I guess that's what I waited for - for you.

So, my angel... (and you too, my 2 legged un-neutered male human)
You are not my 'captors.' You are not my 'equals' but you are my 'friends'
And in friendship, I proudly give you my heart, my loyalty and my life.
In your hands I know all three will be appreciated and well guarded.

In Compassion,
Nuk

How Ya Doin' ?

Hey! I'm talkin' to you.

I know, I know, so much time has passed since I last typed. (Chester man, I miss our chats, they're so inspiring.)

Oki, since this has the potential to be a long diary post, I think I will head it off, and just give some *Headlines and Sound-Bites*
Nom-Nom-Nom.

**Winnie Causes Taag to Get Her Nails Clipped**
First time ever! (and now it's a 'routine') Muahahaha. Equal rights - We has 'em.

**Catman Attacks a.k.a Monster in the Tub**
Residents terrified of Catman's new 'game' I sit in the shower behind the curtain, wait for a human to sit on their toilet and then leap at the curtain, pushing myself and the curtain forward. Unexpected and shocking - the result is an appropriately startled human, who is trapped there on their toilet.

**Face-Baking**
It's that time of year here. It's cold, there were ice balls falling today. Where's that Little Darlin' Sweets? In front of the heat in the living room engaging in her favorite winter pasttime. Baking her face.
She's even got Taag doing it now too. Bah, you won't catch me baking my face.

**Elephants Come to Town - NOT in My House**
Our angel has been for months preparing for the elephants to come.
Papers, papers, everywhere, that I've not been allowed to sit on or mess up (What?!?) It's all been about these elephants. I was afraid that meant (you know!) that my humans would do their "Adopting-thing" But, the elephants have come and gone and I don't have to share my food, home, or toys with any. Whew!

**Toy Coup Averted**
Taag attempted to take over my Chester given toy! I caught her trying to pull the lighted ball out of its track. I told her "We can share the toy, but please do not 'liberate' the ball." If she gets that ball out of there, we'll never see it again. She'll lose it for sure. Then we'll be at the mercy of the humans to replace it or find it. Sweets, I caught NOT playing with my toy, but just sitting there in the center part.
Why? What's the fun in that? It's all posturing and taunts on her part. "Nyah nyah, nyah, you can't play with your toy, if I sit on it. Come too close and I'll scream and smack you on your nose."
These girls.... Oi.

**Elections!**
I know many of your humans are busy in these last few days before elections. They're so focused on that, that they may forget 'who they really serve' - YOU!
Make elections time easy for them, send them here to check their legislators against the 'Humane Scorecard"
Humane Scorecard
... And Humane Society Legislative Fund has endorsed (for the first time ever) a presidential candidate:
HSLF Endorsement
There! Now your people have more time to play and pet you!

If your humans are still preoccupied with elections, I find that a hairball left in their shoe, brings them 'down to Earth' really fast.
Or a toy, dropped on their sleeping faces (and wet from 'bathing' in your water bowl - Chester I'm looking at you!) gets their attention to focus ALL on you, really quickly.

Peace Kitties, Yours in compassion,
Nuk

Catman, The Dark Knight - The *Striped* Crusader

I heard music from The Dark Knight and I told my angel that I wanted one of those songs for my Catster page. She let me listen to the CD and told me to pick one song. From 14 songs, I can't decide on which one I want. Then my angel told me "You will just have to keep your "The Saint" theme song - that suits you either way"

I guess... But on one paw I'm not a *saint* and on the other paw The Saint theme has that "International Man of Mystery" sound, that I fancy myself being like. But that Dark Knight music inspired me and I remember watching Batman Begins and going into a *daydream* during it that I was the "Catman"

I even have my own *nemesis/villain* Batman has "The Joker" Catman has "The Skunk"
Last night I saw him waddling low to the ground, his bushy tail draping out behind him. He walked along the side of my house. I at first thought that he was that crazy longhaired black cat. I tracked that waddling skunk as he walked and I ran from window to window jumping into all the windows that look out from that side of my house. My large paws beating an urgent drumbeat on the floor as I ran. When that skunk waddled into my backyard I went crazy. I started first with my chirruping question sounds, then changed to almost a screaming meow. My angel came running to the kitchen to see what had upset me so. She climbed up the sink side and looked out the window with me. When she saw that waddler she said "Oh skunk." I had never before heard this name, but I knew I didn't like this new intruder. My angel explained that 'The Skunk' in defense will spray a stinky spray when he feels threatened and that it's not a good idea for any animal (two-leggers or four) to get too close to one. A formidable defense indeed!

Trapped in my house behind the window, there is not alot I can do other than to scream my disaproval at The Skunk. He for now can rampage through the neighborhood unchallenged. But I can dream of what this "Striped Crusader" would do, if on the street we met, one dark night...

A Day of *Firsts*

First, first. A package came in the mail today - Addressed to me! (That's never ever happened before)

Oki, well truly it came addressed to me through "care of" my angel - BUT, my name was listed first on the label.
Who is so thoughtful and kind as to send me something? My buddy Chester (through "care of" his Mama) of course.

/Smiles, it's a good thing those humans have thumbs, they help us accomplish what we can't ourselves.

I waited impatiently while my angel opened the box. Inside was a toy!
An amazing, fantastic toy. (That Chester... He seems to know all the best toys)

Oh the catnip center was enticing (I'm a sucker for the 'nip) but then I realised that there was a ball in a track that I could smack around.
Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Second first - I got to star in a short video (I'm going to have to teach that angel of mine how to make videos now, because I think I want to be a star. ) Catster is 'encoding' it now for my page!
*Sigh* the poor lighting on my video... That's that little darling Sweets fault. We have to stay dark in here, while the Atropine keeps her hurt pupil dilated. It's ok I think though. The darker lighting shows the ball in the toy lighting up when it moves!

I don't think for the rest of the day that I am going to leave that toy alone. (If I did, that Taag or Sweets might come and play with it)
I will let them play *eventually* but for now - It's mine mine MINE!
It came to ME!

Thank YOU so much Chester, for not only being my friend, but for being so kind and generous too.
What a pawsome Monday this is turning out to be. I will remember this day forever!

Oh the Drama...

*Sigh*

If I was a girl, I would now put my paw to my forehead and swoon with "the vapours" or something...

The girls here are such *Drama Queens* Taag shrieks like a murder is occurring if I even so much as look at her. I used to get in trouble (You know the kind - where your humans say to you in *that* tone "Nuk, what did you do?" ) Until my angel and her husband man saw for themselves that the only *offense* I was guilty of was to simply be looking at Taag.

Everything is dramatic with Sweets too (Is there a school that these girls go to to learn these things?!? - My buddy Chester has the same type of trouble sometimes with his 'sister')
If I even so much as lay down within 3 feet of her. She sounds her " Please now remove yourself - You are invading in my 'personal space'" meows.

Today that little darling managed to uncoordinatedly scratch her own eye. After laughing at her squinty pirate eye look and telling her how 'seriously unattractive the Captain Jack Sparrow look is for her' (Get some rum to go with that look already, geez) I warned her "Your drama this time is going to buy you a trip to the hospital and there you are going to get shaved and have to stay away from home."
I almost felt bad when I saw tears in her eye (But then I thought, that's probably just more drama)

Well cats, I was *right* and I was *wrong*
Her drama did buy her a trip to the hospital. But the tears were not drama they were trauma. And does that little darling get shaved or have to stay nights in the hospital away from home? - NO!

Now how is that? She went to the hospital and came home soon after.
I asked her "What did you do?" "What did you say?" "Why isn't your leg shaved?" and "How did you get home so soon?"

What does she tell me? N-O-T-H-I-N-G. She smiles her little 'I love the world' smile and curls up on the couch and rests. Later I see her with Taag whispering. I don't like that... Those girls they tell each other *secrets* but they leave me out of it.

So I decide "Fine" I will lie on the other side of the room, watching the couch and perhaps with my super kitty telepathy I can read her mind.
But again, nope. Girl minds are secrety things not open to the likes of me.

Later, my angel, the husband man and Sweets all go together into the bathroom and the door closed tightly behind them. AHA! - I know what that means. That's medicines time.
Sure enough - next are the sounds of 'Drama' from the bathroom and then the words "Get the towel, we'll make a *burrito*" And I sit outside the bathroom door snickering to myself. *I* don't ever need to be made into a *burrito* - I'm a 'good guy' about taking my medicines.

After the door opens, I get hugs and kisses from my angel simply for being such an "angel myself' about taking medicines." I stand proudly "I'm a good boy!"
I peek into the bathroom and there's the 'pirate wannabe' crouched down and somewhat *cranky* looking. There from the doorway I told her "Oh this is just the start my little Drama Queen, you can look forward to many more 'medicines times.'"

She just gives me that "You don't know what you're talking about" face and waits for me to leave then walks back to the sofa to curl up and sleep some more.

Thanks to her, now for 5 days in the daylight times we get the blinds closed and no bright light. No patches of sun. Let's see how long Taag likes that?

Of Groceries and Men.

I have recently been made aware of a trend. Humans taking their own 'grocery bags' to stores to use.

You know we cats have been way ahead of this trend for quite some time already. It was here on Catster that I first heard about cat "grocery bags." I can't remember who was the cat who first called his little belly paunch his 'grocery bag'
(I apologise that I can't remember your name - Come forward and I will credit you
**CREDIT goes to: Arnold P **)
After reading that in a group mail, I looked down at myself and saw that I had one too. Then I noticed Taag and Sweets who are both spayed have even bigger 'grocery bags' Taag has those short legs too, when she is old I'm afraid her grocery bag will touch the floor.

My grocery bag recently got me in a little bit of trouble...

My grocery bag is a "By Permit ONLY" zone. Meaning a human can touch it, only if I have given my prior permission. I will be the first to admit, that can be a little confusing because sometimes I want my whole belly stroked (grocery bag and all) and other times I only want my upper chest stroked. The grocery bag, it is not for touching anytime a human feels like it. My humans know this, so why? why I beg you, must the man touch it when I'm lying on my side? Well the other morning he was dressing for his work and I was lying on my side supervising the whole procedure. He reached out and stroked my head, my cheeks, my shoulder and then (without permission) touched my grocery bag. I batted him away. I had not given my permission to touch me there. Then he touched it again.
*(See this is what I mean about humans not being the *brightest* creatures on Earth.)
What was he thinking? - that this was some game? So that time I used my back feet to kick him away. My tail was swishing and broadcasting my disapproval but did the man listen? No, my warnings went unheeded. Unbelievably he dared to touch my grocery bag a third time, and that time I grabbed his wrist with both my front paws and brought up my back paws to kick at his trapped arm. He dared to act surprised at my reaction and he stood there then with his first finger extended and shaking it at me.

My angel told that dense man - "Scold yourself! You asked for it - you know don't touch the groceries, he told you 'no' and what do you do anyway? "

My angel was right, but by then I was frustrated and I was not liking that finger shaking at me so I reverted back to my 'Furry Missile" launch mode. In one smooth lunge, I leapt forward, grabbed the man's hand and arm in my paws again and put my teeth on his hand. Not hard, but with just enough pressure to get my message through to him, that this was no game.

"Oh" he said in shock and I immediately let go. "Oh" said my angel "I haven't seen the 'Furry Missile' for a long time."
"He furry missiled me" - said the man "But I deserved it." "Yes you did" said my angel.
...And that was the end of the grocery bag touching.

But knowing humans, that hard taught lesson will last awhile, and then be forgotten. I don't know how it is with other kitties, but the human females to me seem smarter
(or maybe they are just better attuned to 'body language') They don't need so much *teaching*

Human Intelligence

My buddy Chester and I were again having a cat-chat. Oh we discuss many things, but one part I want to share with the other kitties was our discussion about humans and their intelligence.

While we (Chester and I) love our human ladies and would never insult them by calling them "stupid" we have noticed that they will sometimes exhibit disturbing examples of being...
/Ammm how shall I say this delicately/ ... "of lesser intelligence than we cats."

/clears throat, coughs and continues/
I will not go into specific examples of these disturbing behaviours.
{Cats, if you live with humans - you already know what I'm talking about}
I do want to pursue some of the thoughts that Chester and I had about this.

Perhaps it is because the humans walk on 2 legs and are so tall. With their heads up so high, it could be that the air is more thin up there and there is not enough oxygen for their brains to always function properly.

Chester thinks too that the absence of a tail on humans is certainly a contributory factor to their lesser intelligence. I must agree with his theory. I have carefully (and been paw smacked by the girls for my efforts) examined and measured the tails of both Taag and Sweets. Not only are their tails shorter than mine, but their tails end in a point where mine is more blunt-tipped.
It would seem tail length is the good measure of intelligence. I can say for certain that I'm more intelligent than either Taag or Sweets. I'm not sure the relevance of the tip endings though. More research and study needs to be conducted on a day where I feel like being girl-smacked again.
How terrible for the two feeters that they don't even have such a splendid thing as a tail.

Which leads me to our last point.
The number of feet must also be related to intelligence levels. Simply put, the more feet a being has, the more intelligent it is. Our 4 feet versus the humans 2 feet makes us twice as intelligent as they are. I'm sure size of the feet also matters (Don't listen should someone tell you that size doesn't matter) - But I can offer no scientific basis for the foot-size theory.

I am open to any cats own observations regarding the physical manifestations of feline intelligence superiority. We are all very good observers and some of you may have noticed things that Chester and I have overlooked.

In peace and compassion
Nük

I Confess - I Have a Crush

Isn't she beautiful?! (I put her pic up on my page)
I don't see her everyday but when she does come I thrill with excitement.
The day that picture of her was made, I was asking her 'sweet questions' through the window. Mrrrrrrrrowp? I asked her, but she for the most part ignores me.

My angel heard me making my *chirruping* questions and came to see who I was talking to. I don't talk to squirrels or birds like that. There in my angel's hydrangea bush bed was sitting my beauty. Silly angel, her first thought was "How did Sweets get outside?!" But I knew that bugger Sweets was still in the house and she can't compete with this wild beauty anyway.

My angel went to get the camera and called for the man to see. They were able to make this picture of her through the back door (2 sets of windows there, the outer door and the inner door)

Then they opened the inner door and the sound of that door startled my wild beauty and off she ran. I guess she doesn't want to meet me or my people.
No neighbors confess to my beauty being *theirs* but she looks really elegant and not street scraggly like how I was. I hope she is getting someone to look after her, but who knows...

I saw her last year, but she was more small then. During the winter I didn't see her at all. Oh my mind spins with the intrique of where my wild beauty goes and what she does. Maybe one day she will talk to me. But for now I can just dream.

Of Midnight Stalkers and Garbage Skulkers...

When I was on my own, living outside fending for myself, I was a *Prince* of the Cats. (Just look at my size and my alpha dominant temperment) Had I stayed outside, I would have ruled the neighborhood. Being un-neutered meant too, that my territory was large. Of course, with such a syndicate also comes other 'up-and-comers' who want that power for their own. I knew one of these types. He was a little younger than me, but you could see the 'hunger for power' in his eyes. This guy was a long haired black cat, who was building up quite a reputation in his own territory. Under his rule were 2 other cats. A little ginger guy and another who looked somewhat like our Sweets. After I approached my angel and gave up my life of midnight stalking and garbage skulking I didn't see any of these other cats for 6 months.

Then last summer that long haired black cat starting coming close to my house mocking, provoking, and trying to cause trouble with me. I don't know exactly what happened to him, but somewhere over the windter months he must have lost his mind! (Maybe he ate some bad garbage? Who knows...) He would come and sit on my backyard fence, sitting there, talking *trash* to me.

Nuk - You! get out of my territory
Black - What are you exactly going to do about it? - who are you? you are nothing, in our world.
Nuk - This was all my territory
Black - 'Was' is the key word there, now look at you - pampered house pet... you look well fed *derisive snort*
Nuk - Yeah it's good inside, I have the nice life and even a harem
Black - The harem of spayeds - MoL - I will bet even you yourself are neutered.
Nuk - And so what if I am?, that doesn't change the fact that I don't want you around my house.
Black - I will ask you again and what are you going to do? come out after me??? MoLi - I will bet even your nails are trimmed in the nice "cat manicure'. Maybe you even have those *posh* colored tips? Hmmm? Tell you what - YOU better hope I never get inside, because if I do, then we will see who is 'the *man*' and who is not.
Nuk - This is the LAST time I will tell you - GET AWAY FROM MY HOUSE.
Black - You're not the boss of me -

And this is how went most of our exchanges over the summer, with Black growing more and more emboldened each time. He moved from sitting on the fence top to sitting right in my backyard, right in the grass. He started to jump at the windows he could reach, throwing himself against the glass of the low double hung windows. He would come at 10pm, 2am, 4 am. Always with his same *talk* and always with his same threats...

Then one night, he launched himself at the kitchen window (which is far too high off the ground for him to ever reach.) The next thing we heard was the thud of his body hitting the siding of the house and his claws scraping the aluminum siding as he fell back down. Crazy cat!
He was out of his mind.

I haven't seen long haired Black this summer yet, but the ginger and the Sweets looking one, are still out there. Let's hope they're not as crazy.

Tagged again - 5 Facts Game

I was tagged by Suey this time for the new 5 facts game.
I must tell 5 facts about myself and then tag 5 other cats.
(Oki, let me review my first tagging, so that I don't repeat anything.)

1. I love Sweets, but she doesn't quite return my feelings, instead she often challenges my authority. She will come to me and smack me whenever she feels like it, despite our size differences. She will also make a show of sitting in territories that are known to be *exclusively* mine.

2. Although I'm the *boss* here, I'm the last cat to get served their treats. I will wait patiently until the girls have been served theirs and then I will go to my 'area' and take mine.

3. I will eat *weird* things. I once ate a used 'Sugar Cookie Sleigh Ride - tea bag' My human man knew that Milk Thistle is not toxic and would not cause GI disturbances from such a small dose, but they now put ALL used tea bags high up in a container on top of their refrigerator.

4. The night before my neutering I couldn't eat or drink anything after midnight. (Taag was unhappy that she too had to do without - it was only we two living here then.) But on the floor that night was left my catnip filled sock, which I chewed a hole through so that I could get to the catnip and eat it.

5. I can make the most irresistible, soulful face, which belies my true power and mightiness. This for some reason is known as my "Henry face"

Now, I tag
+Chester
+Gordy
+Elisabeth Ann
+Simon
+Angel Pepper

The Legend of the Highly Elusive Brusselfish - and My Intent!

Especially for my buddy Chester! This one's for you.

A long time ago, when the world was just a primordial ooze. We all lived in a soupy sea! Yes, we really did. Our distant relative 'the Catfish' is the lone holdout from this time. He to this day remains basically unevolved.

We, as we are now, evolved over time and left the soupy sea for land.
All that flies now through the air or walks on land evolved in this manner. Not all at once certainly, and oh so slowly.

It was in this slow passing of time, that The Highly Elusive Brusselfish also stepped from the sea. Not complete as he is now, but first only as a small and useless vegetable. The common Brussel, best suited to batting and balling around. With the passing of time, the common Brussel evolved fins and a taste for human feet.

This Brusselfish is so rarely seen that science has not had one example to study. The picture on my page is only an artists "representation" and not an actual photograph. It is not even known how they reproduce. Yet the evidence of their existence surrounds us. In warmer months they can be found almost nightly in any human's bed. It is not known where their habitat is in the colder months or what they are doing during the cold seasons.

The olden cats told of the Brusselfish's predilection for darkness, a trait remaining from their time in the sea. Their blue eye is said to be highly light sensitive and their sight poor. They rely mostly on their sense of smell. Their orange noses are highly developed weapons of sensory perception. It is said that they can detect the scent of human feet from many miles away.

It is not known how they gain entrance to human homes. But it's believed that in the warmer months when bedding is hung out on laundry lines to dry, the Highly Elusive Brusselfish uses his fins to attach himself to the drying bedding and 'rides into the house on them.'

It is not know if the Highly Elusive Brusselfish leaves the bedding after entering the home, or if he seeks a dark place to hide and wait.
What is known is that once the human enters their bed to sleep, the Highly Elusive Brusselfish crawls along under the thin sheets and/or blankets seeking his only sustenance - Human FEET!

No cat has ever been attacked by a Brusselfish, it is not known what defenses they posess, if any.

No cat has ever successfully caught the Highly Elusive Brusselfish. Many have tried. There are some who say that when exposed to indoor lighting sources the Brusselfish contains pigments in its skin that change from green to whatever color surrounds it. Effectively camouflaging it and rendering it invisible.

It is here on Catster for my friend Chester, that I declare my intent.
To catch for him one of these Highly Elusive Brusselfish!
Please know, dear Chester, that I will be trying with all my might, every night. When I see the bed covers moving, I will attack and ferret out this Brusselfish.

It would be my greatest pleasure to one day be able to send you one!

I stand corrected, and we have a VICTORY!

From our Valiant and Victorious Gordy, slayer of monsters first class,
comes 2 things, first a correction to my accounting, and secondly his tale of victory over NOT 1, Not 2 or 3 - BUT 4 Machines Whose Names Shall Not Be Spoken.
Yes! he has tamed and silenced 2 of the Shop-Vac variety 1 Shark, and 1 Roomba.
Yra! Let's raise paw to the Valiant and Victorious Gordy!

Dear Cats, I stand corrected in my mis-categorization of the machines. As Gordy so rightly points out there are differing "VARIETIES of these machines but ONLY one *species* - (Kind of like us kitties in that we look differently on our outsides, but inside, we are all the same.)

What follows next are his observations, techniques and advice.

Valiant and Victorious Gordy reports that the machines are simple and have but one purpose and one alone. - To scare us.
These machines are loud and scary, but not very smart.
They are not able to motivate without help, and require the handling of a *user* (this we usually observe to be our mommies and daddies)
On the side of this *handler* knowledge comes the safety that our humans love us and would never allow these machines to harm us.
We are by default *safe* as long as we observe the machines being *handled* by our humans who love us.

He asserts that we can overcome and be victorious by holding strong and practicing what he has learned.

Long haired kitties can disable the *foot* of the machine by shedding profusely.
Gordy reports the ROBOTIC ROMBAS are easily fooled as they are stupid. They can bump into you and move on as if you were a wall if you can build up the courage to let it do so. *I* have even stepped on it a few times while in motion after learning it can't eat me.

Patience, time, bravery and chutzpa will secure victory for you also, following these simple tactics from Gordy.

If you push a tennis ball onto the hose part of the shop vac (or any HOSE vac), you can overheat it and cause it to blow up.
If you have any marbles, they can be used to destroy the innards of a ROOMBA.

If you don't have any of these items, just stand in its way and don't back down. the ROOMBA can not suck you up-
Fear not says Gordy - he has conquered these machines with the loud screaming voices and he is still here.

We are still collecting information on that *servicing* thing that some of these machines go away for when they are silenced. If there is the way to prevent them being rebuilt or regenerated we will learn that.

Gordy also corroborates that although we all have heard the stories of cats who have been eaten by the Machines Whose Names Shall Not Be Spoken, it appears to be all *anecdotal* and there exists not one actual *documented* case of it ever happening.

This is our most hopeful news yet. We are each poised for Victory.
We hereby declare May 31 Gordy Day - in honor of our Valiant and Victorious Gordy, slayer of monsters first class.

Calling All Cats - New Intelligence Report!

Dear cats, I believe the 'Machine Whose Name Shall Not Be Spoken' is amassing even now its own army against us. I just received terrifying word from Chester that his home today was visited by some obviously high ranking warrior type of this monster. Brave Chester kept his wits about himself long enough to gather that this particular species was called a 'Shop-Vac.'
With a HUGE body that appeared to be completely encased in strong armor. This Shop-Vac looks nothing like the field agents we all seem to have implanted in our homes. It is completely round, it is loud, it is hungry and it is mean. Its shape makes it the perfect warrior. Being round where can we get a grip on it? It can move with ease over any terrain. It apparently is brought in for 'heavy-duty' *jobs* Its range of hunger and destruction knows no bounds. Water can not stop it. Metal, wood or plastic can not stop it.

It is my strategic feeling that the Machine Whose Name Shall Not Be Spoken knows that we are planning our own attack against its kind.
It has beguan sending out its Warrior Generals or Henchmen (these Shop-Vacs) to gather facts about us cats and to try to psychologically intimidate us into submission. I believe it came too as a *warning* of the mighty power that could be unleashed upon all of catkind - if we choose to pursue our fight.

Although it did not directly attack Chester, it made its message clear.
"I could eat you in a minute, and without any trouble or indigestion, in fact, it would be my pleasure."

Dear cats, how do we fight against such a threat?
This message is not meant to dishearten or frighten you. Instead let our education be our greatest weapon. The more we know, the stronger we can be.

For those of you who already are afraid of your doorbell ringing, or strangers or visitors in your home, be aware of this new threat. If this Shop-Vac should visit your home choose your hiding place wisely. Choose one that affords you a good line of sight. We need all the facts we can gather.

For those of you who are brave and challenging of *visitors* to your home, do NOT provoke the Shop-Vac if it visits you. We simply don't know enough about it to mount an effective attack. Instead get as close as you reasonably and safely dare. Keep all your senses on alert and let us know of anything you observe that can add to the information profile about this Shop-Vac one.

As terrible as this Shop-Vac sounds. I believe that we cats still have the upper hand. The Shop-Vac has made a tactical error, in allowing itself to be seen. We will not be intimidated! No, we shall find a way to use even this new threat to our advantage.

Yours in the fight against TMWNSNBS
Nuk

Update From The Front, Tactical Advisement

Dear cats, in my further communiques with Chester, Pooh and Rascal, it is becoming clear that we face a very formidable foe in 'The Machine Whose Name Shall Not Be Spoken'

There are many different species of this beast. There are ones named Dyson (who have no soft weak areas, their bodies encased completely in a hard shell and worse yet - there is a tornado raging in their belly)

There are Oreck ones (like the beast who lives in my home.) With the soft belly. Although tipping should be easy with this species, it is unlikely to cause any lasting damage to the monster.

There are Hoovers (a similiar cousin to the Oreck in body shape, but more heavy and less likely to be vulnerable to tipping)

There are Dirt Devils (at least that one has some truth to its name, it is named appropriately - it is a demon)

There is a *kindly* sounding one called the Rainbow (Do NOT be fooled by the name - this one has dreaded water in its belly cavity.)

There are shape changer ones, who can grow a long nose and other *attachments*

All of the above types, have some things in common;
a) They need to eat
b) They have tails, which extend when they are feeding and destroying and then curl tightly around themselves when they are in their hibernative sleep.

I believe, that our best tactic against these monsters is to starve them (deprive them of the *food* they need each week)

Dear cats, we must strive to each be more 'tidy' when we eat, even I will refrain from throwing my food on the floor, crunching it there, and leaving the crumbs, if it means the defeat of our common enemy.

We also need to stop kicking our litter here, there and everywhere out of our litter boxes. (I know, I know... it's summer and we want to make our own home-style *beaches* - but tough times call for tough sacrifices.)

We can also try the tactic of feeding it bad food. I have noticed that my 'Machine Whose Name Shall Not Be Spoken' makes strange choking noises after eating metal things. (such as coins or buttons)
Other cats have reported that their machines make bad noises after eating plastic things.
I myself have seen the voracious monster consume a scarf, and that caused in it a temporary obstruction.
Perhaps we can refine these techiniques.

Another option is to attack them at their tails when they are in hibernation. We must be vigilant though, to NEVER attack the tail when the monster is awake. When the monster is awake and in feeding/destruction mode, a deadly poison called *electricity* runs through that tail. Electricity has been identified as complete toxin on all organic systems. Cardiac function, respiratory system, cicrculatory system and brain function appear to be most critically involved. Electricity causes seriously disordered body function and very often death. The tail is not to be attacked without thought, or planning.

There also have evolved Robotic Roomba 'Machines Whose Name Shall Not Be Spoken' (these have no tails.)
The fatter cats among us (I will not name names - you know who you are!) must band together to sit on these. I believe that will be enough to halt this species.

One last word of caution. Pooh has relayed to me a story of how he disabled his 'Machine Whose Name Shall Not Be Spoken' He believed he had won his batte. The machine was rendered silent. It left the house in retreat. Days passed without it, and then one day it returned. It had only been away for something called *Servicing* When it returned from this *Servicing* it was louder, meaner, stronger, and hungrier than ever.
If you manage to disable your monster, and you hear this word *Servicing* you have time to prepare a plan for a renewed attack.

Remain watchful. Observe the habits and behavior of the monster.
I will not lie. The dilemma before us is great and the danger is real.
But we are cats! We are many, and we are clever.

Yours,
In Solidarity
Nuk

I, Thwarted.

Dear Cats, after a little chat with my buddy Chester yesterday, I started to think about something we all cats have in common.
No, not litter boxes (although technically you were right if you thought that. We do have that in common, but this diary entry will not be about litter boxes)
No, not fur (because there are hairless kitties)
No, not even vet doctors (although we all should have 1 or more those)

What I want to talk about is - that 'domestic terrorist' the dreaded screaming, chasing, machine known by many names. (Humans call it - "The Vacuum." I call it, "The Machine Whose Name Shall Not Be Spoken.")
Seriously, saying its name can possibly wake it. I hear my angel and the man say the word "vacuum" and next thing you know, it's connected to one of their hands and roaming screaming through the house. (In search of cats to eat - I just KNOW it! Here's my logic: It wants to eat my hair, so I'm certain it would not decline to eat the whole me.)

'The Machine Whose Name Shall Not Be Spoken' is fearsome in its power. I've watched it suck up my hair and completely destroy my carefully placed fur piles from surfaces. Nowhere in this house am I safe from it. I see the light of its single evil eye roaming across the floor and I thought I was safe from it if I hid under the bed, but no! 'The Machine Whose Name Shall Not Be Spoken can collapse on itself and reach even deep under the bed.
There is no hiding from it. It will enter closets. It will go over every floor surface in the house. It even attacks on my *Sentry Post* stealing my hair from the top it. It steals my food crumbs from the floor and wall edge. It lives to eat and to destroy.

There is no defense from it. Its eye is constantly seeking new territory. The best tactic I have found is to run to places where it has already destroyed. Once it destroys an area it does not return (until the next week)

Chester has decided to put his 'Machine Whose Name Shall Not Be Spoken' *up for adoption* Nice idea, I think - but ultimately flawed.
Who in their right mind would want to *adopt* such an ugly, screaming beast?! Good Luck with that Chester!

Dear Cats, I think our best course of action is to carefully study and learn the habits and weaknesses of The Machine Whose Name Shall Not Be Spoken and to 'disable' this monster.
I have noticed that after its waking and subsequent destruction spree, it will go into a *hibernation* type of sleep. I figured that in this sleep it must be digesting its large meal of my hair and food crumbs. It is in this hibernative state that I believe our best strike can be made.
I bravely, but cautiously approached the sleeping beast and sniffed it all over. Its *belly* is the only soft place, the rest of its body is some type of hard shell.
In its belly I could smell everything it ate - all our hairs (mine, Taag's and Sweets) I could smell my food crumbs, I could smell catnip that was left on the floor after our careless catnip parties. (Don't worry I stayed true to my mission and did not become distracted by the 'nip)

After determining that its soft belly must be its sensitive *weak* spot, I stretched tall, unsheathed my claws and prepared to disembowel The Machine Whose Name Shall Not Be Spoken.
But! Oh Noooo :( My claws are not sharp points but instead are manicured to blunt ends. I can't tear into the beast.
I have been thwarted in my mission.

Don't fear dear friends, I am clever and resourceful and I shall yet find a way to silence forever The Machine Whose Name Shall Not Be Spoken.

I understand that I'm to *blame*

Yes dear cats, you've read that right. On my oh so sturdy shoulders is 'the blame'

The blame can be bad, my dictionary defines it as: "a reproach for some lapse or misdeed"
That would be when I find the Innova container on top of the bookcase, grab it, drop it to the floor and either get nothing, or get an *all you can quickly gobble - until the people come to clean up* buffet.
(What can I say, that tactic of mine sometimes it works, sometimes not.)

But the blame can also be not so bad. Another definition says: "attribute responsibility to" and that's the blame that seems to get mentioned most in the same sentence with my name.

I've heard my angel telling others that "Nuk is to blame" for her activism.
I think that can't be completely true. She already was soft-hearted (she took me in, didn't she?) and was a vegetarian when I met her.

I've heard my angel *scolding* people who say that "Taag is really good - for a shelter cat" As if Taag's living in a shelter made her some kind of 'second-class' animal citizen. As if Taag's living in a shelter was somehow evidence that she was a 'less than desirable' animal companion. When the truth of that matter is, through NO fault of her own, Taag came to live in her shelter, and was really lucky to get into one. There she got veterinary attention, reliable food, fresh water and a safe place to live and hope for adoption. Sweets too lived the shelter life before coming here. I know from both Taag and Sweets being here that it had to already be a *cause* of my angel's that people would choose adopting over purchasing of animals. I don't think that *blame* can be all on me.

Another *cause* that "I'm to blame for" is my angel working to raise people's knowledge of the need to spay and neuter companion animals. Meeting my un-neutered self on the street that night seemed to drive the point home to my angel. I was homeless and un-neutered and wandering around looking for food, and some kitty cassanova-ing. MmmRrrrrroW! There never seems to be any shortage of homeless animals and the un-spayed and un-neutered ones will only make more. That's nature. I know my angel works to not only educate people about the need to spay or neuter, but also to help them find the low cost spay/neuter programs in our area.

I mentioned earlier that my angel and her man were vegetarian when I came to them. Well guess what? They're also something called 'Vegans' (oh and they've been that since September of last year) Taag, Sweets and myself all remain *carnivores* but somehow I'm to *blame* for this 'herbivorious angel' also. I've heard it said around this house that "Compassion for animals extends all through their lives, to what's on their plate (and what's not on it) to what products they choose to use, through even what businesses they choose to support." It seems with my angel that learning one thing, led to another, and to another, until here we are with my people "eating with compassion."

...I'm not sure what that is. But I know if you let that pretty little dwarf hamster down (Gretel, they call her - I call her "Potential Tasty Morsel)
I will show that hamster a thing or two about "eating with compassion."

Oh! and she is a *rescue* too. A shelter hamster... Did you ever hear of such a thing?!)

In love and compassion
Nuk

My angel is a jinx.

Well... That's what *He* (the man) said. I was curled in my 'sleeping fox' position atop of my cat condo which is really known to me as MY Sentry Post.
There I was only faking to sleep, but really listening in on conversations and keeping a half-slit eye on the living room door archway for any comings or goings. Taag was as usual splayed out near *his* leg, and rolling over every now and then to give me her patented "stink-eye."
"Nevermind Taag, I will deal with your disrespect later." I told her with my super telepathy powers.
Sweets was curled up on the couch in *his* seat, in some rather awkward and undignified position contentedly napping and just generally being the 'little darling.'

The television was on, there was some sports contest being played out. Nothing much interesting going on. Until *he* howls. It seems the sportsmen *he* wants to win are contesting against some sportsmen that my angel likes and *his* sportsmen are losing the contest. Secretly I laugh "Miauhahaha." *He* then proceeds to tell my angel how this is her fault.
According to him "She cast some jinx over his sportsmen, early in the week when it was cold and she wore her sportsmen's logo sweater" I raised my head to look *him* in his eyes tell him "Ogo how lame is that, and you like to think you're the alpha-male here?!?" but my super telepathy powers don't seem to work with him. I think it's his testosterone that interferes with his reception. *He's* a good man, just a 'little lacking in the feline sixth sense.'

Jinx or not, the night seemed to work out well for my angel whose sportsmen not only won their contest, but the next thing I know the sports contest is off the television and the chimpanzees are on. Yay! my angel, if being a jinx means getting 'your way' jinx all you want. I love to see you smile and the mischief lighting up your eyes.

Chimpanzees are howling and banging things on their 'show' and Sweets raises her head from her nap to take the quick look around before napping off again.
Taag and I don't even flick a whisker. *He* then says to my angel "Funny how 'they' don't respond to chimp sounds, but 'they' respond to birds or cat sounds on television."
And I think... "Well hmmm, let's see, I already have the daily experience of living with you."

My Tail of Devotion for Nük / Anük

This is a special Tail of Devotion

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Catster Quiz

Mr. Hunky indeed. My name is Nük/Anük and I approve this message.
http://www.catster.com/quizzes/celebrity_cat_quiz/

Wow, your cat is George Clooney!

George Clooney
Mr. Hunky

Nük is none other than superhunk George Clooney!

Turning heads everywhere he rolls, Nük is a huge hit with both googly-eyed babes and older, wiser fans. Admirers will paddle across no less than eleven oceans just to get a glimpse of this A-List heartthrob in the fur. Nük isn't in a big rush to settle down, so is often seen out on the town with the cutest members of the pack. Not just a looker, Nük's activism knows no limits—enerpetically involved in the campaign to save Dogfur, Nük is always looking for a worthy cause that he can sink his teeth into.

I can has umlaut?

Aha - I see that I can.
What brought this on you may ask. Well... My humans pronounce my name *familiarly* like Nuk(e) but spell it without the 'e' for ammm obvious human associative reasons. My *full* name is Anuk [sounding like AhNuk(e)] but it seems my humans are too lazy to bother with saying that first 'A'. That's ok, I can live with being called just Nuk. I don't mind that. What I do mind is being called "Nuhk" all my days in the hospital.
I know my humans have told them and corrected them and some staff do call me by my rightful name, but others *insisted* on sissy-fying me and calling me 'Nuhk' [Rhymes with suck!]
Don't you think that sounds like some baby nipple, suckling device? - I do!
I'm certain that despite having 6 nipples of my own, (and may I ask? What exactly is the purpose that I have those?!?) I am NO suckling device.

Oki, and that is enough about that.

I see that I now have (oh! the shame, oh! the horror) some *new* pictures on my page showing my shaved leg and my recuperation at home. Not only is it bad enough that you can see my naked leg skin, complete with little stubbles, but I'm lying about on the sofa like some 'couch potato'. It would appear that all I need now is the television remote and a bowl of food to complete my 'fall from dignity'
Thankfully, there is also my new profile picture where I'm sitting in the sun, with the sunbeams streaming over me and framing my head. There I look like Cat of Wonder, Cat of Greatness. Which is more how I think tend to think of myself.

As always, In love, peace and compassion.
Yours,
Nük

Home at last!

Oh wonderful friends - I have the best news. This morning I ate. Yes, I wanted food. It was 'bland food' a dry prescription diet called Feline ID.
Let me tell you, bland or not - NO food ever tasted so good. After eating I heard my vet doctor on the phone with my people telling that we all needed to wait until around 4pm to see how I tolerated my 'breakfast.'
I kept my food down, went for a bath and warm drying and lounged around my cage in my 'lion king' position grooming myself and waiting for the time to pass.

I must have slept some, because next thing I know, my vet doctor was at my kennel telling me "Nuk, your people are coming, they should be here in 30 minutes or so and then you can all go home together." I asked him if he still had my harness somewhere and he stroked behind my ear and told me "Of course, we put any 'belongings' that any cat or dog comes in with into a little bag with their name on it." I smiled and waited. Oh how the minutes passed so slowly. I tried to appear as if I was only nonchalantly grooming myself but I was excited inside as I could be. When the sweet vet tech came for me, and put my harness on me, I almost lept into her arms. My people were meeting with my vet doctor in a room when they took me into see them. On the table with me were 2 medicines, 1 anti-nausea 'Centrine' a small pill that I must take for the next 3 days. Liquid antibiotics 'Antirobe Drops' and a bag of my Feline ID food. I bumped my head on my people and looked them in the eye and said my deepest "Thank YOU." I thanked my vet doctor who restored me to my usual self and the kind vet techs who were so caring and gentle with me.

I was restless on the car ride home. We couldn't get home fast enough for me.
My angel put me down on the living room floor and took my harness and my leash off of me. I went to check my food and water bowl - Yep they are still there. I ate some of my food, I drank some of my water. I went to check my litter boxes - Yep still there. Ah, I may as well use it - let's start making this place *mine* again. Taag cautiously greeted me and licked my head and Sweets walked slowly to me and sniffed me. Noone hissed or batted me. Then I lay in a sunny spot on the rug right before the kitchen and watched my angel cooking. After dinner I took my rightful place on the couch, groomed myself a little more and slept. I think tonight will be just 'a quiet evening at home, on the couch with my family.'

Oh words can't tell how relieved I am to be better, how relieved I am not to have been abandoned in that hospital and nothing could be better than to be home where I belong.

Much love, peace and compassion
Nuk

Hospital day 3

Hi my furry friends, Yes it's me, Yes I'm still here in the hospital. Only now I'm not so much of a *noobie* - I'm kind of getting be one of the 'long timers'
I will confess something to you. You know? I first thought here I was in prison. Easy mistake, right? Confined to a barred jail cell. The wardens in uniform. The thermometer taking repeated *intimate liberties* with my bottom. I said to that thermometer "Hey Bubba, I don't want to be your prison *boyfriend*."
Well, there was an older Siamese a few 'jail cells' down who heard my protests to the thermometer and just started laughing at me.
"Boy" he said "This is not prison, you are in the hospital. Whatchya here for?" Which I thought was rather odd and quite a prisony type of question to ask. "I don't know, I just got sick and can't stop throwing up and I really really don't feel at all well and i'm not at all my usual self."
"Oh" he nodded wisely "You're one of those. I would have figured you to be here for a neutering." Then I remembered I had heard that 'neutering' word before. The last time I was here. Right, when I went to sleep and woke up shaved *down there* and with only an ache and stitches where my 'cottonballs' used to be. I was on some pain medicine then, so you'll please forgive me if my memory of that time is a little hazy. This old Siamese then went on to tell me all the different types of tests and procedures I could expect to happen to me. Then he talked on and on about his life (he was already 15 years old) and his kidneys and the various medicines he needed to take to manage his *condition.* Boy those Siamese sure can talk. I'm not sure what happened to him he was here Tuesday night but not Wednesday afternoon. I hope that he went home.
Tonight will be my 3rd night here and now I'm the one asking the *noobs* - "Whatchya here for?"

I hope I can go home soon. I hope my people visit soon, I'm tired of the smell of sickness and fear and antiseptic and I still don't want to be the thermometer's *boyfriend*
Tonight, as every night so far when I lay my head down to sleep my last thought will be "I hope that when I wake, it will be the better day for me - Let this be the day that I can go home again."

I just heard my vet doctor on the phone with my people. Oh this is the second best news I could have overheard. I have not vomitted at all today. The barium passed through me timely and without obstruction. (Oh yeah it did - *shiver*.)
I still haven't eaten anything for the vet so I get to keep this IV in another night and stay here another night. But if I eat tomorrow and don't vomit, I can go home. Isn't that great news? Either way my people are coming tomorrow - to take me home or just for another visit. Maybe they will bring with them some of my regular Innova Evo food, wet or dry! I do love to eat that. I also heard the vet telling them "We may never know what happened with him, it could have been something he ate, even a bug. That wouldn't show in his blood work." - I may know what happened, but I'm not talking.
What I do know is that I'm finally "getting better."

So your purrs for me and your tender angel guardianship of me is leading me out of the dark forest and to the path back home. Ah, the power of purrs! - never doubt it!

1 good thing to come out of being sick is that I've made new friends. Taag and I seem to have twins here on Catster. We look so alike with Winnie and Chester that we could have all been separated at birth. What a pleasant and unexpected find you are. It's my pleasure to meet you!

Oh! and Beloved Angel Amelia - I as always value your friendship and support and I'm so going to 'hat dance' all over that sombrero when I get home. You, and your entire family are such beautiful souls.

To Sky, Ele' (Elphaba Harriott), BUDDIE, Odie, Amber Jewel, The family of Sam, Mr D, Raza and Balster. and last but not least Luci - You are all the best friends that any cat could hope for. Thank YOU all so very very much for your kind attention and get well wishes. You are all such a comfort both to me and my people.
Your pawprints are forever on our hearts.

With much love, peace and compassion
Nuk

Hospital Day 2

Yes, yet another night here in the hospital. I vomitted another huge pool again this morning. That for certain means I can't go home - but beyond that I'm scheduled today for something called a 'Barium study'
Oh cats - let me tell you that is some nasty stuff. White, thick and chalky and absolutely unflavored. (You'd think they could make it taste like chicken or catnip or something. )
But NO! It tastes, exactly like it looks. "Here Nuk, drink this" they said and then they forcefully *persuaded and helped* me to finish it.
*Heh*
Then I went for another series of X-Rays. This time to watch the barium on its path through me. (who knew, my insides were so interesting? Someone tell CQ [Catsterly Quarterly] that I'll soon be ready for my 6 page photo spread. Seriously - I'm building my portfolio here. )
After hearing that my UGI looked 'normal' (No strings, socks, swelling or tears in me from my esophagus to my duodenem. ) After a little rest I then heard that it was time to visit with my people!
Into the arms of one of nice techs I went and then into a private room with my angel and my man. The tech said that I had been "being really good"
(Of course! I am - If there is any discount in my time served here for "good behavior" I plan to get some of that.)
My people asked questions about my bloodwork. My angel can't understand how nothing is 'the red flag' in my results. From my thyroid, through my blood cells counts and blood sugar, to my kidneys and liver values to my urine tests - I appear all normal. My temperature remains normal, I void my urine (a little more than usual, but the vet and techs thought that is probably from my IV, since my BUN and Creatinine tests are all within range.) Sure my electrolyte balance is a little *off* but if you'd been vomitting like I have, yours would be too. I always knew I was 'mysterious', now I have blood tests to prove it.
Then the tech left us alone. We had a nice visit where we did our normal routine of bumping my head and 'loving up' on my angel and then my man. Although let me tell you I was a little bit ashamed for the man to see me with my shaved leg. (I mean really, how sissy is that?! It's bad enough that I get nail clipping manicures, but now I have a shaved leg. Oh and ladies, I sympathise with your 'stubble problems' that stuff itches.) I was so happy to see them. In the arms of my angel, I felt her sadness and fear. I put my hair all over both of my people (They needed re-scenting you know, and Taag and Sweets need to know that although I'm not home, I'm only temporarily gone and my people can still come be with me.) I don't know how much time passed maybe 45 minutes and then it was time for my Lower GI X-Ray series. Oh the life of a cat top model. Always *they* want the pictures.
Oki cats, time to turn the computer over - there's always a line waiting here.
I promise to *blog* from the hospital until this is over. It's the least I can do for my friends who are purring over me. I hear your purrs, I really do, and I thank you - each one!
With much love and compassion - Nuk

*People talk*
It was really disturbing this morning to hear from our vet that Nuk showed "No change" It made my heart leap up and get stuck in my throat and my chest tight. I was preparing myself to see the same sick weak cat that we dropped off there on Monday morning. I had my tissues stuffed in my jeans pocket and I think I was holding my breath until they brought him in our room.
When they put the blanket down on the table and set him upon it. I could see improvement. He looked alert, he looked aware of his surroundings. He listened carefully each time he thought he heard someone coming near the door. His ears looked again their white/pink color. His nose was its normal brick red and his tongue was its usual healthy bubble gum pink color. When I held him in my arms and we went to look over the garden grounds of the animal hospital he tracked with his eyes and was interested in the leaves blowing around on the pavement. I watched his eyes in the light, his pupils dilate and contract depending on light levels when we walked around the room. He stood steady, he walked steadily from table end to table end bumping greetings and soliticing petting from both me and my husband. Even my husband said "I knew visiting would be good for him, but I didn't realise how good it would be for us too" Nuk curled his body against me and I leaned over and kissed his head and when looking at him and telling him "I love you" he did his 'slow eye blink' way of saying it back. It was so hard to give him back when they knocked on the door and came and said "We have to take him for his next barium series." We didn't hear anything about the LGI barium series. So at least I know that, that too probably showed nothing life threatening or abnormal or we would have been called to be notified that he was going to surgery. I hope he has a better morning tomorrow. I don't know how we can't find anything wrong but I need him to get better, and I need him to come home.

Thank you ALL my furry friends

April 29th 2008 6:22 pm
As you have now heard, yesterday I started vomitting and couldn't stop. I would not eat anything, I would not drink, I would not even lick water droplets from my angel's fingers. I even had no interest in catnip. I wanted only to lay in the bathtub on the cool porcelain or in the kitchen sink. I would not put my head down, I would not relax and I cried the most plaintive and heartbreaking cries and begged with my eyes "Please help me."
This morning I would not go in my carrier. I puffed my back up so that I couldn't fit and cried to tell my people that I didn't want to go in it. I put my harness on and my leash and sat quiet and curled in my angel's lap, my paws holding over and under her arm, my head weakly resting on her chest while the man drove us to the animal hospital. There at the hospital I heard my people give permission for all types of blood tests and permission to start IV's and with the nice vet man and ladies they left me.
I don't know what is wrong with me, I only know I feel so very sick.

From the hospital:

My friends! I can feel your purrs and well wishes giving me strength. To my already passed Rainbow Bridge angel friends I can feel the soft beat of your wings against my cheeks when you are near guarding and watching over me.

Here I am yet in the hospital sneaking some computer time (all the cats do it, but not the dogs - Muahahaha!)
The dogs I can't see - but oh can I hear them. They never shut up. I don't know how anyone here gets any rest with all the yapping barking going on.
Big barks, little barks, whine whine whine...
*sigh*

I'm not happy to be staying over night here and I don't know how much more I will have to stay here. I really miss my people and I want to be home where everything is familiar and comfortable, but I hear that I'm not 'stable enough yet to leave.'
I will tell you what today I managed to overhear.
I heard the doctor and the ladies saying that my X-rays showed that there are no tumors or obstructions anywhere in me.
My blood work came back with some 'out of range values' but nothing 'life threatening' - but I need some blood building.
My ears are cyanotic and my tongue slightly too, although my gums are pink.
My one front leg is shaved and there is the IV giving me fluids and medicine.
I had to take some anti-nausea medicine too when I scared everyone here by yet again throwing up.
Tomorrow when they let my angel visit me, I will tell her to give you more of an update.

I better go now there's a beautiful Maine Coon girl waiting her turn for the computer to 'write home' and I've already used more than my share of time trying to type this with my one free paw.

Oh and one last word of warning to Taag and Sweets. Don't you two go dividing up my territory between yourselves or rearranging our carefully established 'heirarchy'
I suspect that you two are going around rubbing your faces on everything and trying to 'make it all yours'
Understand now that will not be so - I will be home again and I will expect *my* places to be mine.
Oh and another thing. NO having catnip parties without me.

Another time, Thank YOU for your purrs - they are the greatest comfort to me.
With much love, peace and compassion.
Nuk

It's Mah Birthday!

Well... No, not really. No-one really knows when I was born. But today is my *Adopt-a-versary* The day that 1 year ago, I adopted these humans for my pets. And oh how I have trained them. I'm a great human trainer.
My my, how fast a year passes when you are warm, full of food, with soft places to sleep and plenty of love, attention and play times.

Every morning though around 7-7:30 am, I watch from the kitchen window. Watching the night hunter cats giving up their hunts and going to their day hide-a-way places.
And although I don't like to see them in what was before, ALL my territory, it bothers me more that they are yet out there fending for themselves.
It's already cold, there was ice on the ground this morning. I know it gets harder and harder to find food and water.

I hope they all find a human(s) that looks like an angel to them. One that they can find some courage to approach. One that shines with a light of kindness so bright that for that moment they can put away their basic distrust of humans or their pride and ask for help. It could be the start of their beautiful life.

And so, on my 'birthday' I really want nothing more than for every kitty to meet his or her perfect forever home. (everything about me is massive, even my hopes and dreams.)

But now it's time for my treats and playtime - Gotta keep those humans in their training.

In Love, Repect, and Happiness
Nuk

7 Random Things About Me

Thanks for the 'Tag' ;)

1. I'm the only one here who seems to care about defending our home against the repeated attacks from that outdoor black cat who insists on jumping at our window screens. I'm the *Enforcer* here. - except when my humans reach for the squirt water bottle.

2. I'm 'Massive' everything about me is big. My paws, my head, my ears, my eyes, my tail.

3. I don't beg for anything (I have Sweets and Taag do that) but one time, I loved that furry toy so much that when my humans tried to take it away I started growling.

4. I can be *enticed* by any toy with a bell on it.

5. I can open cabinet doors.

6. I love catnip so much, I WILL MAKE YOU SPILL IT (so that I can have more)

7. I'm afraid of the sounds of a weedwhacker, or shopping cart.