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Herbie: My So-Called Life

Holidays, Schmalidays

Fabulous. Another holiday season. Another tree that I'm not allowed to touch, presents under said tree I'm not allowed to open, delicious things on every counter I'm punished for even looking at. Sheesh. Big freakin' deal, this Christmas thing. What's in it for me? The dogs are STILL hyped up from all the cookies they ate and their new "toys" - bits of cloth with annoying noisy things inside them - are literally all over the house. One good thing is that I mentioned to Chelsea about how irritating those squawks and squeeks are, and bless her, she's taken it upon herself to remove the noisy bits from each toy. Good girl, Chelsea! There's hope for that one yet. 'Course, as fast as she removes them, another one appears in the house, courtesy of the Staff. They think these things are cute. Oh for Dog's sake, all I wanna do is relax. Just give them their Kongs and make them lie down!
I WAS treated to some turkey and did get a new laser battery on Christmas, so all is not lost. And while the Staff was at work I managed to remove a couple ornaments from their precious tree and hide them under the sofa. They just found them yesterday, heh, heh...
Oh and did I mention they took me to yet another VET who stuck me with needles? This one tried to be nice but I knew better. Got THIS CLOSE to biting her. Maybe next time.
I'm tellin' ya, my lives are running out from all the stress...

Ok, not so bad after all...

That new dog, Chelsea, is pretty darned cool. She likes to lick my ears and she makes silly little cooing sounds when she does it. I'm likin' it!

Oh no, not another dog!

So I'm thinking... things were pretty cool around here until recently. We up and moved a couple months ago from Lake Tahoe, where I had one huge window but hardly any birds to watch (being on the second floor) to a really cool place in Portland, Oregon. Tons of windows. Birds. Blinds to weave in and counters galore in the kitchen. Breakfast and dinner on my windowsill. A big huge bed. A window perch even. And I had that dog, Mitchi, in line, oh yes I did. Gave him a scratched cornea when he tried to bug me and he is now mine, I tell ya. Yup, things were excellent...
Until last week when my People (aka The Staff) decided to bring another dog home. Can you even believe it?! And this one is littler than me, yet thinks I should actually play with her. I'm beyond meows here. When will they open their eyes and see that I am the only one they need? How will I command attention and expect them to wait on me as they should, when there are not one, but TWO barking things living here?
I will have to think hard about how to get back at The Staff....after all, these are the ones who took me to the vet's (I spit at the word) and left me there overnight just so I could be a blood donor for some sick cat I don't even know. Sure, I would want the other cat to do the same for me in theory, it was for a good cause, blah, blah, blah. But it was the VET HOSPITAL, ya know? Gimme a break, People. If they didn't feed me regularly and let me sit on their bellies while they watched TV, I'd tear the house apart.