Yeah Yeah,I Know

One day my small pet human had someone elses pet in MY house.Worse,she smelled of pea-brained dogs.Obviously they raised there pet the wrong way and actually let it out of the house.I put up extra security making sure my pet wouldnt get loose,but guess what.She got a bad influence from the other small pet and actually LEFT THE HOUSE!!!I tried to sew the dogs.Of course,they were dogs,which ARE bigger and stronger and,well,they won.That just shows that dogs should not be allowed to have pets because they always win in competitions unfairly!

A Nightmare that came true

Ahhhh!I just had the scariest nightmare a cat will ever have.One day,my pet human was doing her stupid ritual of getting into a humongous cushion which they call a "bed".I,of course, was sitting in front of a fireplace minding my own business when she comes and.......I can't say it,it's too horrible....
okay ,I'll tell you!She picks me up,and puts me out of the room and CLOSES THE DOOR!I'm sorry if that will give you nightmares but you fellow cats have to be warned,your own humans are going crazy!