May 17th 2007 6:18 am
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Mom's been away from the computer for a looong time... so I had a little time brush up on my literary talents. (OK, I didn't write them - they're borrowed!) Enjoy the cat haikus
Am I in your way?
You seem to have it backward:
This pillow's taken.
The food in my bowl
Is old, and more to the point
Contains no tuna.
So you want to play.
Will I claw at dancing string?
Your ankle's closer.
Tiny can, dumped in
Plastic bowl. Presentation,
One star; service: none.
Your mouth is moving;
Up and down, emitting noise.
I've lost all interest.
The dog wags his tail,
Seeking approval. See mine?
Different message.
My brain: walnut-sized.
Yours: largest among primates.
Yet, who leaves for work?
Most problems can be
Ignored. The more difficult
Ones can be slept through.
My affection is
Conditional. Don't stand up,
It's your lap I love.
Cats can't steal the breath
Of children. But if my tail's
Pulled again, I'll learn.
I don't mind being
Teased, any more than you mind
A skin graft or two.
So you call this thing
Your "cat carrier." I call
These my "blades of death."
Toy mice, dancing yarn
Meowing sounds. I'm convinced:
You're an idiot.
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