Faster than a speeding mouse, more scary than a musk ox, it's SPARKMAN!

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Very Sad News.

January 22nd 2007 7:44 am
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Serious, sad news this morning... One of my little buddies that I recruited for the Sparkles Club has gone to the rainbow bridge too early!

Her name was Sparkles (239127). And she was waiting in to reunite with her Mom in Seattle... It is a very tragic circumstance.

If you'd like to leave her Mom a note, there is a forum "When It's Time to Say Goodbye." She's under the thread "she was the greatest untill...........you know"

Bye bye my friend!

 

Down to Four, and Still Kicking Purple Mousie's Rump! HA- HA!!

January 21st 2007 10:03 am
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I am down to four fangs again. But Mom tells me that my UPPER adult fangs are starting to grow in, and my upper baby fangs are in NO WAY ready to fall out!!! (I show her how stuck fast they are by viciously and violently holding toys in my mouth and kicking them with my back feet. I am a fireball!!! DIE PURPLE MOUSIE!! Ha ha!!)

So stay tuned, cause I might just be a six fanged wonder AGAIN this week!!! But for now, I'm just my normal super kitten terror hero of the north! Watch out bad guys, cause Sparkman is here to stay!!!

 

the only Five Fanged Kitten of not so scary Doom...

January 19th 2007 6:58 am
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Mom says I should be proud, that most kittens only have four fangs, and that I'm still freakish and cool... But I have just been pouting so far this morning. I mean, "Five Fanged Kitten of Doom" just does not sound so cool. And why the heck are my teeth falling out?! I need those to bite stuff! Like my own tail! and my purple mousie!!! Good thing I let Mom and Dad take this picture of me last night! They did it while I was asleep. I woke up briefly, purred and went back to sleep. So just to let you know, I'm not being tortured.

Back to my story of woe...

I woke up this morning when Dad left for work. I wrestled Captain and Moose all over the bed while Mom tried to sleep a little longer. Clearly, being 30% more vicious than the average feline, I won. So I curled up with the Captain to sleep in the day with Mom. Then the weirdest thing occurred to me... I was MISSING A TOOTH! I let out a most pitiful chirp, and then jumped up to Mom's face. I sat there pawing her nose lightly and crying in the worst tones. She woke up and checked me all over for bad cuts, then my brothers, and then she raised an eyebrow and pried open my mouth... how embarrassing! She then found my missing tooth laying on the bed, where we had been wrestling.

I have just been so humiliated, I just following her around chirping. Mom gave me extra milk, tuna treats, nothing seems to work. I am just sad. She and Captain assured me that I'll forget about being the Six Fanged Kitten of Doom by lunch time... But how can one forget such greatness?!!!

 

The Saga of the Six Fangs Continues...

January 17th 2007 8:30 am
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Sorry to disappoint my buddies... but the photo is being delayed due to my pure and intense hy-purr-ness!!!! Moose asked if I was training for a Marathon or something... Maybe the john bear grease dog sled race... I'm tougher than any sled dog! At least in Minnesota...

So they tried several times last night to photograph me, apparently. I thought they were just waving a new toy in front of my face. And seeing how it kept flashing at me, I just kept biting at it and attacking fingers. Finally I resorted to chewing on Dad and Mom gave up for the night.

She says the chase to photograph my six fangs is still on, which is good cause I really enjoy chewing on my parents. Mmmmmm, human blood!

RAWR!
--Six Fanged Kitten of Doom!

ps-- I asked Mom and Capt. Morgan to put up the pic. they had of HIS six fangs! He only has four now, but apparently went through a similar freakish phase as a teeny bopper!.. bop... bop... *CHOMP*

 

I'm Freakin' Cool!!!!

January 16th 2007 8:11 am
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Whoa, so I jumped on Mom to show her the weirdness that peaked out over night... and by show her I mean I totally viciously chewed and scratched up her elbow... I HAVE SIX FANGS!!!!!! Theres two small guys peaking out by my two lower fangs!!!! I'm a freak today!!!!! Its frickin' awesome! I'm going to bite EVERYTHING in sight!!! Gunna have to get Dad to help Mom take a picture of my freaky coolness when he gets home... I mean, I am just 30% more terrifying and powerful today! Watch out Moose, here comes the six fanged kitten of DOOM!!!!!!!

RAWRRR!!!!

 

Sparkman reports on "Nature," his favorite PBS show...

January 7th 2007 5:43 pm
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Oh my! Mom and I are watching Nature tonight... and I have to say that those serval cats are dirty dirty potty mouthed people!!! They were chewing on this big dead animal and saying such horrible things to each other that I just woke up, sat bolt upright, laid my ears back, and hid behind Mom! I mean, I think I should go wash out my ears just for hearing that! Why does Mom let me WATCH this show?! I know that "Christmas in Yellowstone" episode was fun... Captain Morgan and I stalked the screen and attack pawed everything from a chickadee to a grizzly bear to steam from a hot spring... But THIS episode is just scary. There should be a parental warning on before this episode "warning-- this show has been rated ‘C’ for the presence of foul cat language."

 

I turned the bath tub black!

January 5th 2007 7:32 am
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So yesterday I was walking along, minding my own kitten beeswax, when I see Captain Morgan, my ultimate hero!!! He's standing over by the fireplace screen, thats an odd place for him... I walk over and he paws open the screen just big enough for a kitten to squeeze through! Well, I always obey my Captain. So in I go! And theres all this stuff to sniff in there! And its all black and then I see that my paws are all black and I started getting a little scared... So I started chirping my little "come find me!" call, and I was expecting the Captain or Moose to come. But theres Mom, looking down at me with that disapproving look! WHAT?! It was TOTALLY Captain Morgan's idea!

So she scoops me up and starts examining my toes and feet. I mean, they were almost a charcoal black grey color... But she should have seen the inside of that fireplace!

So she drags me to the bathroom and plops me down in the sink. Now, I am just bubbling over with excitement... You seen I figured out a few days ago that if i sit in the sink and look cute, the humans turn the knob things and fresh water comes out the metal stick thing!!! I can pounce on it, bite at it, and finally even drink it!!! Its so fun, you totally gotta try it.

So there I am sitting in the sink and watching the fresh water run out of the stick thing and Mom's rubbing my toes with a cloth or something... and then I realize it...SHE'S BATHING ME AGAIN! I mean, what does she think, that I'm THREE MONTHS old?! NO! I'm a brave and bouncing four months old now, thank you VERY much! So I got all mad and started chirping and kicking her. She just picks me up in one hand, dangles me over the sink and continues... It was horrible. I couldn't even fight her. I just hung there whimpering! And Captain Morgan sat beside her watching the whole thing with a smug look on his face. He's so mean! He's like a pirate or something.

So when she's done I insist on climbing in the sink and sitting like a loaf of bread and pouting. Mom goes to squeeze out the wet cloth she was using in the bath tub, and then this long stream of blackish water comes pouring out onto the nice pretty bath tub bottom! Well, that was so exciting I forgot about pouting and me and Morgan jumped in the tub after it while Mom's turning the tubs knobby things, and the fresh water comes out the tub log thing and pours into the bottom of the tub, and the Captain and I BOLT out of that tub and out the bathroom door, and Mom nearly falls over... Later she's chasing me with a dry towel, and I'm all "you're not touching me again lady!!!" I mean REALLY!?! Who needs a bath when they're four months old! Hmph! Humans!

 

Resolutions of a SUPER KITTEN!!!!

January 3rd 2007 8:16 am
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Ahem....

I will not let the humans take away my tree fort just because Moose and I drank all its water and its shedding worse than the Captain.

I will eat every new fishie Mom buys for that tank.

I will try harder to convince Dad that I do need a sip of milk every time humans go near the fridge.

I will eat all of the thyme plant before Mom cooks with it again... poor thyme plant!

I will drink all the water out of the bath tub.

I will use my purr and not my teeth to wake up Mom.

I will finally vanquish that mouse that scurries about under the covers when Mom and Dad are in bed.

I will not lose my toys under the fridge and then howl until my humans free them. I am braver than that. (Oh, wait maybe thats what Moose does)

I will not let the humans know that I actually enjoy wearing clothes.

I will not sit on the radiator until I am brain dead and roll off of it.

I will not let the humans bathe me again. And I will make my kitten breath even worse!

And most importantly, I will be more sneaky and unpredictable in my tail biting hunts.

 

New Photo!

January 2nd 2007 7:21 am
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I just put up a new photo of me and my turtle cousin!!! (shes the greenish blackish blob in the tank) I gotta tell you, she was just so amazing that I have not yet been able to pass that empty fish tank without looking for her. Mom says she's going to clean out the tank and find me fishie friends!!! LIVE FISH!!!! I don't even know what those LOOK like! I thought fish came out of a can! I hope we get tunas! or salmons!!!! Are "Turkey and Gibblets in Gravy" a kind of fish too? Let's get those too!

But that cousin was just captivating. She came with my relatives for Christmas. They only stayed a few nights, and I got locked out of the room cousin turtle was in at night... but I am telling you, there is just nothing as fascinating as a turtle cousin! I sure hope my Auntie and Uncle bring her EVERY TIME they visit!!! Wow. What a cousin!

Only thing I don't get is why they didn't let her out to wrestle with me! She would have been impressed with my skills... MAD skills! Ninja skills, num-chuck skills, tuna breath skills, tail biting skills... *sigh* So hard being a kitten! I miss cousin turtle.

 

Tooth Update...

December 30th 2006 9:17 am
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I am so thankful to report that I have lost NO MORE teeth! Although, I think the biggest blessing of this non-event is that I can continue to chew on everything in sight without any scorn from Mom and Dad. There's just this "Awwwww, baby's TEETHING!" and then they let me chew on stuff!!!! I mean, I have chewed every yarn ball, moms scarf AND mittens, socks galore, all the catnip and non-nip mice, a few empty toilet paper rolls I stole from the garbage, kitchen towels, measuring cup, those antlers Moose got for Christmas, Capt. Morgan's harness, several of the tree ornaments, the banister (also tried to walk on the railing which didn't work so well), a couple books, the newspaper, some twigs and branch segments Mom was surprised to see since they're NOT just pine from the Christmas tree, the Christmas tree, pine needles (yummy!), the handles of a few scissors, pens, pencils, camera shoulder strap, marshmallows, cookies left out, the thyme plant, a contraband rubber band, kitty litter bag, old wrapping paper, jingle balls, jingle bells, popcorn, computer cords, computer, couch pillow, human feet, human ears, Captain's tail, Moose's tail, Mom's braid, Mom's sweaters, Dad's shirt buttons, the bathroom door, sewing machine cover, fold in carpet, garbage dived items like wax from cheese, a spoon, cardboard box, dvd case, pirate puppets, baskets, toilet plunger (why did Mom bathe me after that one?!), crochet hook, knitting needles (love love LOVE wood!), hand lotion bottle, icky tasting stuff that came out of hand lotion bottle, drain strainer from bath tub, shower curtain, curtains, curtain cords, all other window treatments including that puddy caulk stuff that tastes bad too, a shirt hanger, Mom's pillow (even launched it across the room! Wow), Dad's pajamas' draw string, Mom's glasses, Mom's coffee mug, my food dish, my water dish, my litter pan, and of course my own tail! Phew... I am such an amazing super kitten! All that chewing, and I still have all four fangs!!! I am made of kitten grade steel!!!! I am just plain fantabulous and invincible! To all bad guys out there-- BEWARE! I am UNSTOPPABLE!

 
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