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Faster than a speeding mouse, more scary than a musk ox, it's SPARKMAN!

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Quick Operation Blanket Theft Update...

March 22nd 2007 8:05 am
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BONUS SCORE this morning!!! While pulling off my usual buttoned quilty blanket, I managed to tangle it up and when Mom went to put it back on the bed... She also had to pick up the following:

- the fringed wool blanket
- Dad's pajama pants
- Dad's pajama top
- three random socks that don't match
- a candy cane (Mom says it improves my breathe)
- a red knit catnip mouse
- Mom's brown sweater
- a toilet paper tube I stole from the garbage.

Dang! No wonder that blanket was so heavy to drag out into the hall this morning! I was dragging half the household with it!!! Why do those silly humans have such a hard time keeping this house clean?!

*sigh* The work of a blanket stealing kitten is never done.



Stinky Coffee!!!

March 21st 2007 6:30 am
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Mom was getting out the cow milk for her coffee and I was right there calling "Me tooooo! Me TOOOOOOOOO!!! Mawwwwww!" Then I flashed my cute little wide eyes at her, whimpered, and she caved. I heard those humans talking about "weening" me... What the heck does that mean?! It's just a little cow milk!

So she poured me my little sushi cup full and then went to put the jug back into the fridge. I drank a little and then decided to save the rest for later. I walked over to the hall and sat licking my paw clean, purring in glory.

Mom was pouring her coffee in her cup and I was waiting to laugh at her (Mom usually spills coffee somewhere on the counter or floor!). Well, I heard the tell tale spilling of the coffee out of the brew pot and looked up to see the most offensive place she's ever spilled the coffee before--right into my milk cup!!! Mom! I wasn't finished with that!!! And now it's all half coffee and half milk?! It looks like YOUR cup!

So I did what any self-respecting kitten would do, I ran in the room and sat beside her objecting. I sniffed at my cup and laid my ears back. I yelled at her and tried to bury the stinky coffee! And Mom was just so useless, she couldn't stop laughing!

She dumped out my coffee poisoned milk and I was so disgusted. I walked off in a huff and just waited by the fish tank for fish food. Rude human. I mean, I get so few treats during the day! hmpf! Wheres my fish food?


Moose Chi Meets NINJA KITTEN!!!

March 20th 2007 6:36 am
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Okay so Mom has started doing this yoga stuff every morning and Moose is like WAY too into it. So so Mom gets out the mat and Moose is all purrs and running up to her "Oh, Mom! It's YOGA time!" And then they both roll around on the floor for twenty minutes and watch this video with this weird guy doing weird poses... I am sooo confused. Moose is starting to mimic Mom even and do the poses she does. But I think Moose needs those funny glasses things. Mom will do the "downward dog" position and Moose stretches and sticks up his butt right beside her. She'll do "Cobblers pose" and Moose is there lying on his back and wiggling around his legs... But then almost every pose is just him laying on his back and shifting weight from one side of his rump to the other!! Mom's moving around doing other stuff too Moose, heads up dude!!!

Now I know they're both exhausted at the end of these sessions, so I guess its exercise... but it's just all too zen and peace loving for me! I like a full out kitten aerobic attack without mercy!!! And while they're rolling around on the floor trying to find their inner chi, there I am all posed and ready in my ninja like fashion to grab and chew and kick and decimate Mom's pony tail hair! Ha ha!! I even got the rubber band thingie off of it the other day! I know, I'm like totally ninja stealth cool!

And Moose being all peaceful and relaxed is just purrrr-fect for the kitten spring attack from the couch! Today I landed right smack in the middle of his belly with all four paws! Ha! Take THAT Moose chi!!!!



Catfood Recall...

March 18th 2007 10:23 am
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I am so glad to see that this info has been buzzing around Catster!!!! But just in case anyone who reads my diary hasn't heard, here's my kitten styled reporting of the recall:

************************************************* ******
Why are we scared? Because our vets recommend Iams to so many of us as a safe healthy alternative to so many catfoods out there that do horrible things to kitties... I eat Iams dry, and all my cousins and uncles eat Iams wet and dry! Have for years! And now to hear that something sold under it's name is killing pets and being recalled is horrifying. Shame on you, Iams!

The recall is for "Iams and Eukanuba as well as other non-P&G brands" produced by Menu Foods.

The Iams website is flooded today and it's taking a long time to load. So after much sitting with Mom and biting my tail, I finally got the important info and am passing it along!

DRY FOOD, GRAVY, AND TREATS ARE NOT BEING RECALLED. But canned wet food and wet food in pouches are. So get all the Iams wet out of th cupboard and gather round!!

"To read can product codes, refer to the bottom of the can. The first four numbers of the second line of numbers are the date code, and the following four numbers indicate the plant code.

For example, if the second line begins with four numbers from 6339 to 7073 followed by the plant code 4197, then the can should be recalled.

For foil pouches, the code numbers are located at the lower left hand corner on the back of the pouch. The date and plant codes appear in the third group of numbers, beginning an 11-digit sequence. See and for illustrated details. Review the list of involved products here."


Sneaky Humans!!!

March 18th 2007 6:55 am
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All my plans were foiled because the humans managed to eat their corned beef while I was zonked for my after dinner nap! Darn. Luckily Captain said I won't have to wait till next year-- theres a second corned beef in the freezer! Ha ha!!!

tricky sneaky humans! Pahhhhhh!!!!


Me friends call me Sparkman O'Leary McOrangebottom!!!

March 16th 2007 10:37 am
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Happy St Pattie's day all you McKitties out there!!! My friend Busbee O'Beefcake McBullycat is giving out names in the "Rowdy Naughty Bawdy Cats and Dogs" group!!! He's so talented that I'm laughing my orange bottom off!!!

And just so you know, I saw that grocery bag with the corned beef come in the house. Mom had to forcibly extract me from the bag before sticking it in the fridge... I got BIG plans for that meat!!!! Just wait and see! Ha ha!

Heres a few favorite names in no apparent order:
Phoebe McPurbox O'Troublemaker
Kiowa O'Swooner McDreamy
Miss Tiger O' Woods
Rachel McWhinesalot O'Sweetie
Lucy O'Hairy McFurbottom
Sparkle O'My Shenanigans
Bastess O'Sun McGoddess
Stony O'Sweetie McStripeycat
Buster O'Feedme McPickyarse
Pony O'Hairless McBarebottom
Glory O' Gooseryer McPooper
Boxie'O Brown McMutter
Jack O'Hidey McJumpycat
Edgarina O' Hissy


Re-Discovered the Best Pillow Ever!

March 15th 2007 6:42 am
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In case you forgot, as I did for a week or so there... the BEST pillow in the world is (drum roll please) CAPTAIN MORGAN'S FEET! He's a compulsive bather of his white parts (which include his feet and toes) so they never smell of litter or anything. And they're the perfect height. And WARM. And soft... And they're just such great pillows that when Captain moved off the radiator to the carpet, and then to the couch... I just followed right along napping and cuddling up to his great pillow feet!!! Ahh, man... This is the life!

Stop moving, Captain!


TOYS Toys Everywhere!!!!

March 14th 2007 8:19 am
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Mom and Dad rearranged the furry-niture in the living room, and I was AMAZED at how many toys I've lost under that couch thing! The whole area under the couch, there was like this shadow made up of all mousies, balls, springy toys, catnip toys, pom poms, pines cones, even sticks and string I'd lost!!! It was truly like a buried treasure. Captain's so excited he's been wrestling this red string mouse most of yesterday, and I've been playing fetch with my newly recovered cloth mouse! Moose is just happy that there's more floor space with the new arrangement for him and Mom to do their yoga... How DOES he bend like that?! He is just an amazing yogi!!!



Whoo hooo!!!!

March 12th 2007 6:45 am
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Captain says we have to sit out on the porch all day!!!! I don't know why! But I'm excited!!!! There's squirrels and birds out there and Mom put out bird seed to bring them in closer for us to watch!!! Now if only I was a little smaller, I bet I could have fit through that mail slot and actually caught one of those squirrels... I am just drooling. Gotta get back to the porch! bye!


Whiny Humans!!!

March 9th 2007 7:10 am
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My humans are so whiny! Just this morning I've already heard:

"That's my head, not the pillow you're charging across."

"The hairbrush is not a food group."

"How can I wash my hands if you're in the sink?"

"Its a bag of coffee beans, not a kitten cave with tiny bean monsters."

"That's your brother, not a chew toy."

"Okay so THESE are chew-able socks?"

"When your brother hisses, he's done playing with you."

"Don't sit in the food dish."

"Ahhh! Attack of the carpet crab again!?!"

"MY coffee, your milk cup. Keep them straight."

"My coffee is not for bathing paws in."

"Give back that tasty fish food lid and don't poke holes in it!"

"So it THAT where the blanket went?"

"My what a nice yarn tangle sculpture you three made last night!"

"Don't jump in my breakfast plate!"

"Why are you wet?"

"You can not visit the porch while wet."

"How did you track litter all the way over here?!"

"Stop climbing curtains."

"My fingers are NOT removable."

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