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Faster than a speeding mouse, more scary than a musk ox, it's SPARKMAN!

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Back Online!!! and Watch Out for Your Ankles!!!

April 17th 2007 7:01 am
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If anyone missed me and my crazy kitten antics, I apologies! My computer, that I let the humans use now and then, is sickly and needs something called a new mother bored... Why did it bore it's Mother?! Silly computer. I should bite it's ankles.

Big news is that Mom took me out on a leash and I saw a dog a block away and got scared and started crouching down and growling and hissing and she had to wrestle me back inside... Now I keep begging to go back outside but she's all "No, Sparkman! My cut up hands and chest haven't healed yet!" Hmpf! Silly humans. Don't they know that their function is to obey my every wish and desire?! Well all I have to say to her is, watch out for your ankles!!! HA HA!


The Saga of a Potato Eating Goat...

April 13th 2007 6:31 am
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I think the grossest news is that I ate one of Dad's socks off the drying rack. I think that means it was clean, but I was so hyper at the time that I really did not stop to think about it... Grand-human said that that is dog behavior, but Mom says it's more like GOAT behavior. So now Mom and Dad are calling me their little goat.

I have also eaten the draw strings off of Mom's pajamas, any elastic I can find (like bra straps... yum!), the green onion plant, easter egg shells, a big piece of lettuce, fish food of COURSE, Mom's wiggly toes a few times, a hair band, a button off of Mom's sweater, a few feathers, pine cones, tried for a bar of ivory soap, a wash cloth, and I ALMOST sunk my teeth into tape and plastic bag while my Aunt and Uncle were here... darn humans. Sometimes they are just out to foil my plots!

Mom and I have pretty much come to the understanding that she must give me at least one piece of potato when she cuts them up. She lets me play with it until it turns black! If she does not pay tribute, I just nose dive into the potato pile and take one myself. When I have to resort to that, I usually paw and lick every piece in sight (while purring very loudly). This method seems to really have taught Mom fast that she needs to give me my own piece! And for anyone wondering, a potato piece turns black after just one night of my chewing, licking, and chasing it around. Clearly a better fate than what Mom has in store for them, or should I say "Boil em, mash em, stick em in a stew!" Ha ha!!!


Rocky Ann turns 16!!!!

April 6th 2007 11:10 am
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Oh, Wow! One of the most famous-est cats on Catster is turning SIXTEEN tomorrow! Rocky Ann!! I'm so excited that I insisted Mom and Dad go get us Hello Kitty Party Hats for the occasion... And apparently so did every other kitty in Duluth! The stores here are all out of hats, so they got us cups... CUPS?!

Capt. Morgan refused to wear one, even for a single picture. So he's toasting Rocky Ann with cat food and a candle. Me? I'll wear anything! I love attention. (Esp. since I got to hew on it afterward! Rawr!) Moose was all "Whats on my head?!" And I helped Mom put one on Chester via the amazing computer thingie... We're alllll decked out and ready for the big day!!!

So go wish her a Happy Sweet Sixteen!!!


purrs -- Sparkman!


I heart potatoes.

April 3rd 2007 8:25 am
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I am just rolling on the floor in laughter this morning! Chrissy sent me this great link to a potato dance mix video with Lord of the Ring characters!!! It will be in me head for DAYS!... Maybe I should teach the potato pets how to get down with their spud selves! *sigh* so many bad dance titles I could make with this one... heres a few;

I'll teach em to:

French Their Fry
Peeling the Greeeen
Poppin' Eyes
Bake in the Oven
Roll in the Dirt
Chip the Dip
Spud the Dud
Do the IdaHO!
Melt the Butter
Fry the Hash
Starch It Up
Do the Spudster
Quarter for the Border
and of course the Scallop Gallop.


I mean, I could just teach them the Mashed Potato... But thats too easy.


Potato Heaven!

April 2nd 2007 6:34 am
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Mom was washing off stuff and clanking around in the kitchen, so I mosie-d on in there to see what was up and what I could steal. She was standing there with TWO BAGS OF POTATOES! I was just purrs and jumping on my hind legs begging! PLEASEEE!!!! I NEED A POTATO BUDDY! She kind of rolled her eyes at me and then said something funny, "Here, Sparkman. The ones in this bag are kinda soft, so take your pick!"

Then she placed an ENTIRE BAG of like FIVE POTATOES on the floor! I was just in heaven! I rolled among them purring and sniffing and cuddling up to them and just being the happiest kitten in the world! I mean, there is nothing better than the smell of potatoes! I can't explain it, Mom doesn't get it... Morgan came in and gave me an odd look, I didn't even care. POTATOES! Is there nothing better in this world?!!!

Well it's been a few days since then and I still have a small herd of potatoes around the house! I put one in the bathroom, one under the radiator in the kitchen, one in the hall behind the litter box, one in the middle of the living room floor, and that last one I'm keeping completely hidden from those humans! Mom picks them up when she finds them, inspects them for rot and then lets me have them back... well, she's thrown out a few but who's counting! I have potato buddies!!!! I'm in kitten heaven. REALLY!


Where'd the sun go?!

March 28th 2007 8:00 am
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We had this beautiful gorgeous sunny weather going on here and Mom was taking us out on leashes and I was eating gross stuff and Morgan was lounging in grass and cement and and and we were spending all day on the glassed in sun porch stalking birds and being lazy pirate men!!!! It was just so fantabulous!... And now it's gone?! It's rainy and wet outside again?! This just blows my mind. I keep yelling at Mom and then dragging her to the window to see the rain and wind... Bring the sun back Mom!!!

So I think I'll spend the day pouting in my pile of stolen blankets in the hallway. I got the two small ones off the bed but that bigger quilt is just so heavy, I left it dangling half off again. Maybe I'll return to my blanket liberation efforts later... That is, until Mom walks over to the coffee machine again... then its every ankle for its self! Ha ha!!!! Mom, you ARE my chew toy!


Go Speed Racer, GO!!!

March 27th 2007 6:43 am
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New tactic for getting contraband items: SPEED! If I shovel it in and swallow really really quickly, Mom can do NOTHING about it! Yesterday she took me and Capt. Morgan out on leashes (Captain says she's taken me out on a leash before, but I don't remember that at all! I think this was a first.)... So she took us out on leashes and I saw this pile of old stinky decaying leaves and I just nose dived! Right into them! Started munching away and Mom's all "SPARKMAN!" I just purred at her. And she finally said "Well, at least their organic this time!" Captain just sat sunning himself, but I was all business outside! stuffing everything in my mouth! And just so you know, snow and ice are very very cold. Even if it's like 68 degrees Fahrenheit out... They still make my tongue cold.

HA HA! Speed wins the race! Now off to steal something more tasty... like twigs! Ummmmmmm!!! Purrs...


In trouble again...

March 26th 2007 6:20 am
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I was getting away with eating all sorts of stuff I shouldn't have, and then my own poop gave it away!!! Boy is Mom mad at me! She finally got wise to my bad habits... Mom and Dad keep yelling at me for nosing through the yarn bin, gnawing on pajama drawstrings, eating paper, chewing off and trying to swallow buttons, chewing tape, and even for chewing on Mom's bra straps!!! I mean, I'm a kitten! What do they expect?! I can't help it if I chew off and swallow stuff now and then.

So now Mom's grabbing me up every time I leave the litter box, she keeps washing off my bottom and checking my poop for more yarn and other now contraband items. I feel like she's always watching me and pulling things out of my mouth! She even squirts me with that dreaded squirt bottle when I get too excited about something SHE thinks I shouldn't be playing with... I don't feel sick, but Mom says that my litter box habits say otherwise. Why is she so worried?! Ridiculous! I feel fine! Watch me chase my tail!


Sadie Hawkins Week at Navin and Buds Group!!!

March 23rd 2007 3:29 pm
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Hello! It has come to my superhero sized attention that over at our group page for Navin and Buds, theres been some confusion about our Sadie Hawkins week! As in, people missed Navin's original email about it and don't know how to participate... and others just don't know Sadie Hawkins!!!

So below is Navin's original email about the sporting fun free love fest going on, and below that you'll find my abbreviated kitten styled history of the legendary Sadie Hawkins (I did research!!!)... enjoy!

************************************************** *************
Woot! Woot! Party time!!!!! After gleaning ideas and inputs from our Buds and from my esteemed Admins (without which there would be no Navin and Buds), I have decided to throw a Sadie Hawkins week here at Navin and Buds....beginning tomorrow (or before if you are so inclined?) and ending next week with a meet and greet in our forums......a little chatter, dancing, milk and nip?
Nutshell version is this: there are NO rules. Except one: have a good time and make friends! I love the Sadie Hawkins idea because my mommy thinks it's cute and also I like the idea of the ladies chasing the boys ggrrrwoooooowwwrr! BUT, that is only a suggestion and not a guideline. The idea is to look around at all the different Buds, visit their pages, leave a treat, a paw-mail, a cyber-smoochy or just a friendly hello. .....I know some of our Buds have steady sweeties and are even married which is very continental! But this is not intended to be "dating" thing or a hooking up for "serious" relationship thing...of course if that is what happens for you then HURRAY & Congrats! You can be anonymous or not...your choice. It is just for fun and I would dearly love to see our new members and shyer Buds come out and play as well!
Now don't be shy! And you can cyber-smooch or hello as many Buds as you want and whoever you want!!!!
Go forth and have fun my Buds! Party on!

Navin R. Johnson-Davis

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Who is this Sadie Hawkins? Was she a dragon slayer? A dynamic super kitten like myself? The inventor of such magnificent inventions as the cat drinking fountain? How bout the first emperor of the Tang dynasty in China!? Alas, no...

Sadie Hawkins was a "homely" character in a 1930s comic strip. When she was 35 and afraid of dying an old maid, her father declared November 13th Sadie Hawkins Day. All the eligible bachelors in the area were gathered together along a starting line. When the gun went off, they all ran and Sadie ran after them. Whomever she caught had to marry her! Which probably wasn't so bad because I hear that if you make an ugly woman your wife, you'll be happy for the rest of your life.

And as to the first emperor of the Tang Dynasty, that great honor goes to Li Yuan who lead a rebellion against the Sui Dynasty. He ruled from 618 to 626 when Li Yuan's overeager son Li Shimin (aka Tang Taizong) killed him... Wow...

Aren't you glad you read my diary TODAY!?!

If you want to join in on the Navin and Buds fun but aren't a member, just pawmail me! Purrrssss!


Thanks for the rosette kisses!!!

March 23rd 2007 6:47 am
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Thanks for the smooches mysterious Sadie Hawkins kitty!!!! I asked Mom what a "smooch" was and I think she slimed me ear! Poor ear. I'll go dry it by biting her ankles... Ha ha!!!


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