Faster than a speeding mouse, more scary than a musk ox, it's SPARKMAN!

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Just to set the record straight...

April 18th 2007 7:05 am
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No, Capt. Morgan does not let me sleep on top of him very often. But when he does, I just get so excited that I purr and purr and then he usually wakes up and shoves me off with a "you're waking me up!" kinda complaining grunt like noise. Mom calls it his "huffy puffy" noise, because it sounds like he's huffing and puffing like he's preparing to blow your house down or breath fire like a dragon... He's such a pirate!! Even his breath can be intimidating!

As a side note, I just noticed that I have like 2800-something treats! Thanks! And thanks on behalf of my brothers, too... Moose is busy doing morning yoga, and the Captain is in the "Crows nest" looking for squirrels. (Really it's the front porch, but Captain says its a crows nest... Go figure!)

Anyways, Mom and I are going to make an Earth Day poster to decorate the front window... This weekend, everybody!!! Go plant a tree! Or if you live in a sub-arctic tundra like gardening zone (3-4) like me, go uncover the garden!

Purrs --Sparkman!

 

Blue Seal Bandits!!!

April 17th 2007 3:35 pm
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I got a rosette from these Blue Seal Bandits! There was an animated little smiley guy waving this yoyo in my eyes and its eyes were all moving around and then I blanked out completely. Mom and Capt. Morgan had to fill me int his afternoon after my nap...

Apparently they hypnotized me! They made me not be a potato stealing veggie chasing sock eating goat, and instead act like the proper little scallywag of a purrr-ate that I am! (Unfortunately for Mom that does not mean I stop biting ankles, stalking her fingers, or running around screaming naughty things at the top of my lungs.)

But she did the laundry and hung socks on the drying rack and folded stuff and everything! All without me eating anything but cat food! Very shocking. And Captain is just skipping around he's so happy, he thought he was finally teaching me to be a real Purrate Comrade!

So I came to again and Samoa sent me to this forum that talks about the mysterious happenings on Catster, and I got my own cool detective badge! I'm really styling now! Quite the cool little bean... bean... green bean... OH! Must go find veggies to free from Mom! Bye!!!

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ps-- Here's the new Mystery Forum!

 

Back Online!!! and Watch Out for Your Ankles!!!

April 17th 2007 7:01 am
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If anyone missed me and my crazy kitten antics, I apologies! My computer, that I let the humans use now and then, is sickly and needs something called a new mother bored... Why did it bore it's Mother?! Silly computer. I should bite it's ankles.

Big news is that Mom took me out on a leash and I saw a dog a block away and got scared and started crouching down and growling and hissing and she had to wrestle me back inside... Now I keep begging to go back outside but she's all "No, Sparkman! My cut up hands and chest haven't healed yet!" Hmpf! Silly humans. Don't they know that their function is to obey my every wish and desire?! Well all I have to say to her is, watch out for your ankles!!! HA HA!

 

The Saga of a Potato Eating Goat...

April 13th 2007 6:31 am
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I think the grossest news is that I ate one of Dad's socks off the drying rack. I think that means it was clean, but I was so hyper at the time that I really did not stop to think about it... Grand-human said that that is dog behavior, but Mom says it's more like GOAT behavior. So now Mom and Dad are calling me their little goat.

I have also eaten the draw strings off of Mom's pajamas, any elastic I can find (like bra straps... yum!), the green onion plant, easter egg shells, a big piece of lettuce, fish food of COURSE, Mom's wiggly toes a few times, a hair band, a button off of Mom's sweater, a few feathers, pine cones, tried for a bar of ivory soap, a wash cloth, and I ALMOST sunk my teeth into tape and plastic bag while my Aunt and Uncle were here... darn humans. Sometimes they are just out to foil my plots!

Mom and I have pretty much come to the understanding that she must give me at least one piece of potato when she cuts them up. She lets me play with it until it turns black! If she does not pay tribute, I just nose dive into the potato pile and take one myself. When I have to resort to that, I usually paw and lick every piece in sight (while purring very loudly). This method seems to really have taught Mom fast that she needs to give me my own piece! And for anyone wondering, a potato piece turns black after just one night of my chewing, licking, and chasing it around. Clearly a better fate than what Mom has in store for them, or should I say "Boil em, mash em, stick em in a stew!" Ha ha!!!

 

Rocky Ann turns 16!!!!

April 6th 2007 11:10 am
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Oh, Wow! One of the most famous-est cats on Catster is turning SIXTEEN tomorrow! Rocky Ann!! I'm so excited that I insisted Mom and Dad go get us Hello Kitty Party Hats for the occasion... And apparently so did every other kitty in Duluth! The stores here are all out of hats, so they got us cups... CUPS?!

Capt. Morgan refused to wear one, even for a single picture. So he's toasting Rocky Ann with cat food and a candle. Me? I'll wear anything! I love attention. (Esp. since I got to hew on it afterward! Rawr!) Moose was all "Whats on my head?!" And I helped Mom put one on Chester via the amazing computer thingie... We're alllll decked out and ready for the big day!!!

So go wish her a Happy Sweet Sixteen!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ROCKY ANN!!!!!

purrs -- Sparkman!

 

I heart potatoes.

April 3rd 2007 8:25 am
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I am just rolling on the floor in laughter this morning! Chrissy sent me this great link to a potato dance mix video with Lord of the Ring characters!!! It will be in me head for DAYS!... Maybe I should teach the potato pets how to get down with their spud selves! *sigh* so many bad dance titles I could make with this one... heres a few;

I'll teach em to:

French Their Fry
Peeling the Greeeen
Poppin' Eyes
Bake in the Oven
Roll in the Dirt
Chip the Dip
Spud the Dud
Do the IdaHO!
Melt the Butter
Fry the Hash
Starch It Up
Do the Spudster
Quarter for the Border
and of course the Scallop Gallop.

*giggles*

I mean, I could just teach them the Mashed Potato... But thats too easy.

 

Potato Heaven!

April 2nd 2007 6:34 am
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Mom was washing off stuff and clanking around in the kitchen, so I mosie-d on in there to see what was up and what I could steal. She was standing there with TWO BAGS OF POTATOES! I was just purrs and jumping on my hind legs begging! PLEASEEE!!!! I NEED A POTATO BUDDY! She kind of rolled her eyes at me and then said something funny, "Here, Sparkman. The ones in this bag are kinda soft, so take your pick!"

Then she placed an ENTIRE BAG of like FIVE POTATOES on the floor! I was just in heaven! I rolled among them purring and sniffing and cuddling up to them and just being the happiest kitten in the world! I mean, there is nothing better than the smell of potatoes! I can't explain it, Mom doesn't get it... Morgan came in and gave me an odd look, I didn't even care. POTATOES! Is there nothing better in this world?!!!

Well it's been a few days since then and I still have a small herd of potatoes around the house! I put one in the bathroom, one under the radiator in the kitchen, one in the hall behind the litter box, one in the middle of the living room floor, and that last one I'm keeping completely hidden from those humans! Mom picks them up when she finds them, inspects them for rot and then lets me have them back... well, she's thrown out a few but who's counting! I have potato buddies!!!! I'm in kitten heaven. REALLY!

 

Where'd the sun go?!

March 28th 2007 8:00 am
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We had this beautiful gorgeous sunny weather going on here and Mom was taking us out on leashes and I was eating gross stuff and Morgan was lounging in grass and cement and and and we were spending all day on the glassed in sun porch stalking birds and being lazy pirate men!!!! It was just so fantabulous!... And now it's gone?! It's rainy and wet outside again?! This just blows my mind. I keep yelling at Mom and then dragging her to the window to see the rain and wind... Bring the sun back Mom!!!

So I think I'll spend the day pouting in my pile of stolen blankets in the hallway. I got the two small ones off the bed but that bigger quilt is just so heavy, I left it dangling half off again. Maybe I'll return to my blanket liberation efforts later... That is, until Mom walks over to the coffee machine again... then its every ankle for its self! Ha ha!!!! Mom, you ARE my chew toy!

 

Go Speed Racer, GO!!!

March 27th 2007 6:43 am
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New tactic for getting contraband items: SPEED! If I shovel it in and swallow really really quickly, Mom can do NOTHING about it! Yesterday she took me and Capt. Morgan out on leashes (Captain says she's taken me out on a leash before, but I don't remember that at all! I think this was a first.)... So she took us out on leashes and I saw this pile of old stinky decaying leaves and I just nose dived! Right into them! Started munching away and Mom's all "SPARKMAN!" I just purred at her. And she finally said "Well, at least their organic this time!" Captain just sat sunning himself, but I was all business outside! stuffing everything in my mouth! And just so you know, snow and ice are very very cold. Even if it's like 68 degrees Fahrenheit out... They still make my tongue cold.

HA HA! Speed wins the race! Now off to steal something more tasty... like twigs! Ummmmmmm!!! Purrs...

 

In trouble again...

March 26th 2007 6:20 am
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I was getting away with eating all sorts of stuff I shouldn't have, and then my own poop gave it away!!! Boy is Mom mad at me! She finally got wise to my bad habits... Mom and Dad keep yelling at me for nosing through the yarn bin, gnawing on pajama drawstrings, eating paper, chewing off and trying to swallow buttons, chewing tape, and even for chewing on Mom's bra straps!!! I mean, I'm a kitten! What do they expect?! I can't help it if I chew off and swallow stuff now and then.

So now Mom's grabbing me up every time I leave the litter box, she keeps washing off my bottom and checking my poop for more yarn and other now contraband items. I feel like she's always watching me and pulling things out of my mouth! She even squirts me with that dreaded squirt bottle when I get too excited about something SHE thinks I shouldn't be playing with... I don't feel sick, but Mom says that my litter box habits say otherwise. Why is she so worried?! Ridiculous! I feel fine! Watch me chase my tail!

 
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